Change

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Housemaster96 -> Change (5/25/2016 11:00:08 PM)
I have been asked a few times about change so thought I should write here for others to understand. Again I should say sub/slave or master/Dom/Domme are shown here as sub and Dom, likewise I refer to she/her as I am male however this label can be used to mean a male. I think, Change is not about altering someone it is about development. When vanillas meet someone they like and eventually form a relationship they then generally go about trying to alter them! I think, In the BDSM world the word change does not mean alter it means develop. A sub, be it newbie or experienced, has an internal need that needs to be developed so is not confined to a set social idea. Thus the sub wanting to be an animal, has particular rubber/leather/clothing likes does not really want to change only express that inner desire. In fact she does not want to change at all, only live in a lifestyle of that design. So change to her means removal from the norm and into her world. It is the Dom who allows this development and opening up of her inner needs. This is the same for a sub who wants to submit to someone and feel contentment. She does not want to alter herself only change the environment or lifestyle of social normality. So even someone who just seeks a Dom just to feel her submission does not want to alter herself only be free to explore her nature. So change is not altering just allowing that to happen.

peppermint -> RE: Change (5/25/2016 11:15:11 PM)
Huh? Change means change. Change does not mean being able to explore one's nature. Is English a second language for you?

freedomdwarf1 -> RE: Change (5/26/2016 1:41:40 AM)
He is trying to supplant his own interpretation onto the world. This is the second thread he's started that shows he is utterly clueless about BDSM and everything to do with it.

QualityFirst -> RE: Change (5/26/2016 2:22:36 AM)
I feel the message of the OP is well thaught. Change can very well be what he expresses. However, I think that change doesn't exclude other forms of changes. A dominant can very well want the sub to change in a ways the dominant likes, whether it is suited to the sub's needs or not.

WickedsDesire -> RE: Change (5/26/2016 2:30:46 AM)
Asked a few times! By whom I doth wonder. I obviously lack your awesome popularity and towering insight. In reality I am rarely asked anything at all, save by the voices that inhabit my head, and the rare “submissive” who is too far gone with the mange and notions of lunacy, for me to make a modicum of difference in her predestined life of utter woe – the (bad)loons, attached, predators & monsters just snaffle that lot up. Now, whom amongst you will develop me a tasty plate of muffins. BDSM world spakes for itself. I merely look around at all this site has to offer, other sites, clubs, muffin munches to realise that I am a miniscule minority - wonders if he will get his own loo. - I do not like how the majority of it speaks. I can neither develop that, nor change that.

LilJuly76 -> RE: Change (5/26/2016 3:55:51 AM)
Opie I'm shaking my finger at you

crumpets -> RE: Change (5/26/2016 4:04:16 AM)
FR... I'm having a difficult time following this thread ... so maybe I'm outta' my league here ... but to me, whenever I meet someone, change is inevitable. What I mean by that is that I always strive to eat what they eat, drink what they drink, learn what they like, etc., so that I know what they like and have experienced it first hand so that I know how to improve how they like it, etc., So, to me, change is L-E-A-R-N-I-N-G who/what/when/where/why & how someone ELSE enjoys something... [Caveat: But it takes a special person who can do that because most can't or won't.]

WickedsDesire -> RE: Change (5/26/2016 4:51:20 AM)
he just had difficulty in trying to word what he was trying to say/convey. He also tried to separate Life(style) into never the twain: BDSM and vanilla. There is just the spectrum of life. I am no fan of either of those two terms/labels and he tried to pigeon hole two classical bad examples/stereotypes into both. And then he was trying to be super domly saying all, those parts, bits and bobs, must be nurtured and developed, never changed/altered. In that we would all nod and say how wise; sage,magus,oracle etc One cannot develop chasms,broken creatures of utter wretch (many will try exactly that and to blow on those specific embers so as to snaffle these brokey dolls as easy pickings nor should one try to blow on those embers. If he inferred other embers then I would have agreed. If he said oi brokey dolls you are all shattered to smithereens I can neither fix, or mend that, nor wish to change (you cannot change these parts) those parts. I look at this as one, or a few pieces, of a vast jigsaw, and I will concentrate on the vast. God sir say many of the creatures of utter wretch for every one person telling me that there are 100-1000 telling me the opposite abd therefore I reject you from reality and will label you a sock trouble maker

LadyPact -> RE: Change (5/26/2016 8:33:06 AM)
quote: I have been asked a few times about change so thought I should write here for others to understand. No, you haven't. Your name has never come up from anyone that I am aware of in the UK scene.

kdsub -> RE: Change (5/26/2016 8:58:26 AM)
quote: I think, In the BDSM world the word change does not mean alter it means develop Maybe discover would be a better word

ThatDizzyChick -> RE: Change (5/26/2016 1:31:36 PM)
quote: In the BDSM world the word change does not mean alter it means develop. Incorrect quote: It is the Dom who allows this development and opening up of her inner needs. Bullshit.

DesFIP -> RE: Change (5/26/2016 2:21:46 PM)
Fantasy from a guy who can't get a woman, all about what he thinks a relationship would be. Not coincidentally, this is why he can't get the time of day from anyone. Come back in 20 years when you've been in a relationship all that time, and then we'll consider what you say to be worthwhile. Until you can walk the walk,not just talk the talk, don't bother.

WhoreMods -> RE: Change (5/26/2016 2:41:29 PM)
Only Bowie can define change.

Danemora -> RE: Change (5/26/2016 3:57:56 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Housemaster96 I have been asked a few times about change so thought I should write here for others to understand. No. No one asked you. And in all honesty if someone was looking for understanding of BDSM concepts, you clearly arent the guy for the job based on your unsolicited lecture series to date. One who does not understand cannot impart understanding to others. Going to you would be like asking Dick Cheney to give shooting lessons.

DocStrange -> RE: Change (5/26/2016 4:12:26 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Housemaster96 I have been asked a few times about change so thought I should write here for others to understand. Again I should say sub/slave or master/Dom/Domme are shown here as sub and Dom, likewise I refer to she/her as I am male however this label can be used to mean a male. I think, Change is not about altering someone it is about development. When vanillas meet someone they like and eventually form a relationship they then generally go about trying to alter them! I think, In the BDSM world the word change does not mean alter it means develop. A sub, be it newbie or experienced, has an internal need that needs to be developed so is not confined to a set social idea. Thus the sub wanting to be an animal, has particular rubber/leather/clothing likes does not really want to change only express that inner desire. In fact she does not want to change at all, only live in a lifestyle of that design. So change to her means removal from the norm and into her world. It is the Dom who allows this development and opening up of her inner needs. This is the same for a sub who wants to submit to someone and feel contentment. She does not want to alter herself only change the environment or lifestyle of social normality. So even someone who just seeks a Dom just to feel her submission does not want to alter herself only be free to explore her nature. So change is not altering just allowing that to happen. Change is not the word you are looking for. A better word would be discover or explore for what you are describing. When one enters BDSM they have a desire or urge for something. Does not matter what that something is, but one must explore/discover what it is they are seeking. This is not change. They are not changing. They are not changing who they are, rather they are discovering what it is they desire.

ThatDizzyChick -> RE: Change (5/26/2016 6:59:50 PM)
quote: Going to you would be like asking Dick Cheney to give shooting lessons. I don't know, the guy seems to be pretty good at shooting people's faces.....

OsideGirl -> RE: Change (5/26/2016 9:14:49 PM)
Oh, yeah. A lecture on relationships from someone not in a relationship.

ThatDizzyChick -> RE: Change (5/26/2016 9:17:22 PM)
You know what they say: Those that can do, those that can't teach. [:D]

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