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Dominant Women And The Submissive men who Love Them;- D... - 5/30/2016 2:51:42 AM   
MzWhipplash


Posts: 79
Joined: 3/7/2011
From: Fetlife.com
Status: offline 		Do They seek self gratification or do they Love and happily Serve the Dominant Woman?

Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Dominant Women And The Submissive men who Love Them... - 5/30/2016 3:08:34 AM   
FieryOpal


Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MzWhipplash
Do They seek self gratification or do they Love and happily Serve the Dominant Woman?

That would depend upon the man.

If you have gotten to the stage where you know you are loved, then you should not have to ask or question your sub's devotion level. If you do, then you don't really own a devotée after all, and/or you chose your sub for the wrong reasons (to stroke your own ego, for instance).

I am highly suspicious of anybody who does not seek a healthy dose of self-gratification. You can hardly take pride in yourself without it or have a secure sense of self-worth.

The key with a submissive personality is that they derive pleasure and therefore great gratification in pleasing their Mistress as its own reward by proof of action, not merely via lip service.
This does not mean that as an Owner, you don't equally have the responsibility to see to it that your sub's innermost needs get met, in concert with getting your needs and desires met.

_____________________________

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

(in reply to MzWhipplash)
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RE: Dominant Women And The Submissive men who Love Them... - 5/30/2016 10:12:51 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		That depends on your ability to pick healthy partners. Remember, the only common denominator in all your relationships is you.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to FieryOpal)
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RE: Dominant Women And The Submissive men who Love Them... - 5/30/2016 11:08:51 AM   
verbatimguy


Posts: 203
Joined: 5/11/2016
Status: offline 		Think about this.

Dominant woman have no dominence over the man unless the men are sexually attracted to them.

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Dominant Women And The Submissive men who Love Them... - 5/30/2016 11:35:30 AM   
lthrpup


Posts: 125
Joined: 4/28/2004
Status: offline 		A lot of submissive men have kinks and fetishes too. Some men with kinks and/or fetishes are not submissive. Hedonist, kinkster, bottom, etc., are either not available as descriptive labels or they feel derogatory because of the zeitgeist in BDSM communities. Compatibility is very important to line up. D/s with zero kink is probably harder to find. I think it is nice when the styles of domination and submission are complementary. That is not to suggest a 24/7 kink-o-rama, but that everyone's needs are being met over time.

(in reply to verbatimguy)
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RE: Dominant Women And The Submissive men who Love Them... - 5/30/2016 1:29:54 PM   
ThatDizzyChick


Posts: 5490
Status: offline
quote:

Do They seek self gratification or do they Love and happily Serve the Dominant Woman?

That depends on the man in question.

_____________________________

Not your average bimbo.

(in reply to MzWhipplash)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Dominant Women And The Submissive men who Love Them... - 5/30/2016 1:30:19 PM   
LilJuly76


Posts: 1245
Joined: 1/9/2016
Status: offline 		where the heck do you get that logic?

in 22 years I have known about 20 submissive men in relationships with female Dominants and all of them were service submissives, they like being submissive to Dominants male or female that they can serve.

(in reply to verbatimguy)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Dominant Women And The Submissive men who Love Them... - 5/30/2016 2:50:42 PM   
verbatimguy


Posts: 203
Joined: 5/11/2016
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal


quote:

ORIGINAL: MzWhipplash
Do They seek self gratification or do they Love and happily Serve the Dominant Woman?

That would depend upon the man.

If you have gotten to the stage where you know you are loved, then you should not have to ask or question your sub's devotion level. If you do, then you don't really own a devotée after all, and/or you chose your sub for the wrong reasons (to stroke your own ego, for instance).

I am highly suspicious of anybody who does not seek a healthy dose of self-gratification. You can hardly take pride in yourself without it or have a secure sense of self-worth.

The key with a submissive personality is that they derive pleasure and therefore great gratification in pleasing their Mistress as its own reward by proof of action, not merely via lip service.
This does not mean that as an Owner, you don't equally have the responsibility to see to it that your sub's innermost needs get met, in concert with getting your needs and desires met.


If the women cater to the men ego and sexuel drive then there is no problem.
If the men cater to the women need for money and attention and what tehy call romance then there is no problem.

Fair trade for different barter.
Each gives what teh other wants and each wants what tehy dont already have.

Eventuelly one gets bored so the other has to up the aunty.
Thats when they look for next one.

Happens about ten or twnty times in each persons life until they either give up or settle for what they have.

(in reply to FieryOpal)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Dominant Women And The Submissive men who Love Them... - 5/30/2016 6:52:36 PM   
stef


Posts: 10215
Joined: 1/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LilJuly76

where the heck do you get that logic?

Why do you assume logic plays any part in what comes out of that sock's brain?

_____________________________

Welcome to PoliticSpace! If you came here expecting meaningful BDSM discussions, boy are you in the wrong place.

"Hypocrisy has consequences"

(in reply to LilJuly76)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Dominant Women And The Submissive men who Love Them... - 5/31/2016 3:14:27 AM   
LilJuly76


Posts: 1245
Joined: 1/9/2016
Status: offline 		that is true, I assumed too much. I call it idiotic logic.

(in reply to stef)
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RE: Dominant Women And The Submissive men who Love Them... - 5/31/2016 7:56:27 AM   
verbatimguy


Posts: 203
Joined: 5/11/2016
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LilJuly76

that is true, I assumed too much. I call it idiotic logic.


What do you thing is wronged about each side of the contract wanting to get somethigns out of the barter?

(in reply to LilJuly76)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Dominant Women And The Submissive men who Love Them... - 5/31/2016 3:10:33 PM   
LilJuly76


Posts: 1245
Joined: 1/9/2016
Status: offline 		you weren't even talking about contracts this is what you said this time:

Dominant woman have no dominence over the man unless the men are sexually attracted to them.

which is dead wrong

(in reply to verbatimguy)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Dominant Women And The Submissive men who Love Them... - 6/1/2016 11:26:16 PM   
roboslavedog


Posts: 19
Joined: 7/15/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal
I am highly suspicious of anybody who does not seek a healthy dose of self-gratification.


I concord that. Even more... I don't believe there is something like "selfless service". For things to work out, each of the persons involved must receive something they truly want. Their needs must be satisfied. Be it the satisfaction of a particular fetish, the pleasure of being useful, the attention, the thrill of being used, etc.

(in reply to FieryOpal)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Dominant Women And The Submissive men who Love Them... - 6/5/2016 8:19:48 PM   
FieryOpal


Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline 		For the sake of clarification, how did you mean your question? I noticed that you are more interested IRT meets rather than on line, and currently seek a nonsexual service sub or do not need a primary D/s partner.

Nevertheless, either way, a Domme will run into a significantly greater number of men who will profess to be submissive and seeking a Dominant woman to serve in whatever capacity, in order to get their kink bottoming/fetish needs met.

Is your real question how to tell the difference?

Is the real issue how to avoid becoming sexually objectified as a Domme? Because this can be nearly impossible, given the prevalent majority of ignorant sexually-obsessed men who don't have the foggiest idea what D/s submission actually consists of.

quote:

ORIGINAL: verbatimguy
Dominant woman have no dominence over the man unless the men are sexually attracted to them.


_____________________________

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

(in reply to MzWhipplash)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Dominant Women And The Submissive men who Love Them... - 6/6/2016 3:20:23 AM   
LilJuly76


Posts: 1245
Joined: 1/9/2016
Status: offline 		I feel sorry for those sexually obsessed men because male or female being in a caring D/s or M/s relationship, I can't explain how it is, it's just feel real great being submissive to your Dominant, I love to take care of all my Dominants, in return they take care of me back, I have had a few very short term relationship with vanilla guys all they think about is sex 24 hours a day.

(in reply to FieryOpal)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Dominant Women And The Submissive men who Love Them... - 6/6/2016 3:32:39 AM   
freedomdwarf1


Posts: 6845
Joined: 10/23/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: verbatimguy

Think about this.

Dominant woman have no dominence over the man unless the men are sexually attracted to them.

Complete and utter crap and bullshit (as usual).

Consider this:
A service sub man often feels satiated just by serving his Domme.
That's where he gets his jollies from - it's not sexual.

You are soo inept that I wonder how you function in the real world.
You have certainly demonstrated across many posts that you have NO clue about BDSM or D/s dynamics.


_____________________________

“If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they do not want to hear.”
George Orwell, 1903-1950


(in reply to verbatimguy)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Dominant Women And The Submissive men who Love Them... - 6/6/2016 4:53:18 AM   
LilJuly76


Posts: 1245
Joined: 1/9/2016
Status: offline 		well said freedomdwarf

(in reply to freedomdwarf1)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Dominant Women And The Submissive men who Love Them... - 6/14/2016 8:00:11 PM   
Charles6682


Posts: 1820
Joined: 10/1/2007
From: Saint Pete,FL
Status: offline 		I happily love to serve Dominant Women. I don't seek it for self gratification. Fetishes did get me interested in Female Dominants. Now, I try to keep those urges under control. I get a spiritual feeling when I serve Dominant Women these days. I have read a lot on Womens history, Feminism, Goddess Worship, etc. My submission has gone well beyond just the fetish stage at this point in my life. My submission has become my life.

_____________________________

Charley aka Sub Guy

http://www.Facebook.com/SubGuy

https://Twitter.com/SubGuy6682

(in reply to LilJuly76)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Dominant Women And The Submissive men who Love Them... - 6/15/2016 3:03:35 AM   
needlesandpins


Posts: 3901
Status: offline 		Actually some of you could do with taking a step back here. For the vast amount of men out there, and I'm talking probably 95% of them it is all about sex. I'd say that virtually every single mail I've had has completely ignored any stipulation I've ever had in my profile, but has gone on to tell me what they want from me, what I should be able to do for them, and how this will all meet their needs. Even if it's telling you what they want to do for you as your sub, it's actually got naff all to do with you personally because it ignores everything in your profile, but talks only of what they actually want to do to you.

Guys get in touch with you firstly because they are attracted to what they see. Admittedly for some they'll get their rocks off over anything with a pulse, but that doesn't change the 'do me' attitude that many of them have.

Finding a truely submissive man is a very rare thing, and finding a service only male is rarer still I think. BDSM may be a set thing to certain people in here. Out there in the greater world it isn't, and for many it's the fricking fifty shades of shite from which ever position you want to be in.

needles

_____________________________

I deserved better. Not than you, but from you.

(in reply to Charles6682)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Dominant Women And The Submissive men who Love Them... - 6/18/2016 12:33:04 AM   
Charles6682


Posts: 1820
Joined: 10/1/2007
From: Saint Pete,FL
Status: offline 		I don't even know what a "true" submissive male is anymore. I don't even know if I can really say I am a submissive man. I do feel I am one. I would prefer a Female Lead Relationship. Kink is nice but that really isn't my main motive. I would even be happy finding a Dominant Lady without the kink. I almost feel like calling myself a male submissive is a negative term now. I don't want to appear like all I am in this for is to get my rocks off because its not. I do only get off on Fem-Dom, yes. However, I have served Women in many non-sexual situations too. I enjoyed that just as much as being with a Play Domme. I know I don't have the looks of Brad Pitt or his money. That does limit me right there. I do have a kind personality and a kind heart. That's good for me and I am glad for that. Still, that's not enough to find a Domme or really even a nice Lady. Nice guys do finish last and I get it now. It is what it is. I am just grateful that I have had to live an interesting life and experience things I though I never would. I cant help who I am, I just want to live out the rest of my life in peace. I hope I am on Gods good side when I do pass. I've made mistakes in my life but I have learned from them. I just try to be a descent person. That's what life is all about for me. Live and let live.

< Message edited by Charles6682 -- 6/18/2016 12:34:06 AM >

_____________________________

Charley aka Sub Guy

http://www.Facebook.com/SubGuy

https://Twitter.com/SubGuy6682

(in reply to needlesandpins)
Profile   Post #: 20
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