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guilt after scene? - 7/21/2006 7:13:26 AM

hisforever

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Last night, Daddy came home and told me to have his shower ready and to be ready for him. I did as told, and after the shower he tied me up and blindfolded me. After a while, a friend of ours had joined in. Apparently he called him before he got home. After he left, and Daddy had left me to sleep, I lay there feeling extremely guilty for what I had done. Is this normal? Has anyone else experienced guilt like this? We have done things with him and his wife before they split up, but never anything to do with D/s before. This time it was also just him, but I still dont understand why, if I had slept with him before, was I feeling this way. Any insight would be appreciated. Thank you.

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RE: guilt after scene? - 7/21/2006 7:58:57 AM

heartfeltsub

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Just a thought, how did you feel about his wife, was she a friend of yours or did you feel especially close to her?

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RE: guilt after scene? - 7/21/2006 8:05:52 AM

thetammyjo

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quote:

ORIGINAL: hisforever

Last night, Daddy came home and told me to have his shower ready and to be ready for him. I did as told, and after the shower he tied me up and blindfolded me. After a while, a friend of ours had joined in. Apparently he called him before he got home. After he left, and Daddy had left me to sleep, I lay there feeling extremely guilty for what I had done. Is this normal? Has anyone else experienced guilt like this? We have done things with him and his wife before they split up, but never anything to do with D/s before. This time it was also just him, but I still dont understand why, if I had slept with him before, was I feeling this way. Any insight would be appreciated. Thank you.

Are you sure it is guilt that you are feeling?

Maybe you are feeling something else?

See if you can go over how you felt when things were happening. You don't need to share that with us unless you think it will help (I think you should do it privately frankly). You may have experienced a range of emotions because it was so new for you. This might help you pinpoint what it is that you feel guilty about -- the actions, the new person, your enjoyment, your other feelings if you had them.

You might also discover that there are other feelings to deal with and that guilt is only one of them.

Sometimes a person feels guilty because guilt is in essence empowering -- it tells us that we did something wrong and thus we had control. When we don't have control, it can be oddly comforting to think we did. This is just my experience of some guilt I've felt in my life not all of it by a long shot.

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RE: guilt after scene? - 7/21/2006 9:20:54 AM

LuckyAlbatross

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Hmm seems a complicated situation. How long has this period been? How long has it been since the person broke up with his other partner?

You might have what I call the "morning after syndrome" in which a persons brain rushes to catch up and process what your emotions and body reacted to the night before and has a problem reconciling the two. This can cause big problems with people who go "Yes yes yes!" during the night with a partner and then the next day feel completely distraught and feel very confused. Not the same as subdrop since it's more an issue of coming to terms with what a person really wants and enjoys versus just a change in hormones and coming down from a rush.

But it's hard to say from just your description here of what you are feeling and why that might be. Suffice to say- as always, go talk to the people involved, share your feelings with them fully and see what perspectives you can gain over time. Don't rush to another experience together before you can get this sorted out.

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RE: guilt after scene? - 7/21/2006 6:49:58 PM

hisforever

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It has not been long at all since the pair broke things off. His wife was the first woman I had done anything with, and we were friends for a while, then just lost touch. I do not think that it had anything to do with her. I think maybe it may just be the whole I had sex with two men at once thing. Daddy says not to feel like I do, because he ordered me to do it. I cannot help but feel that I have done something wrong. Maybe its just the catholic raising coming out? I dont know. I just wish I could shake this feeling. Daddy keeps reasuring (sorry cant spell, ever LOL) me that I should not feel bad about what I did, that I clearly enjoyed myself at the time, went all sub-space and everything during the scene, and it was what he wished me to do and that should never make me feel bad. I know he is right, I just hope this feeling fades soon...
thank you all for your insight on this situation, it is appreciated!

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RE: guilt after scene? - 7/21/2006 7:26:59 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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quote:

ORIGINAL: hisforever

It has not been long at all since the pair broke things off. His wife was the first woman I had done anything with, and we were friends for a while, then just lost touch. I do not think that it had anything to do with her. I think maybe it may just be the whole I had sex with two men at once thing. Daddy says not to feel like I do, because he ordered me to do it. I cannot help but feel that I have done something wrong. Maybe its just the catholic raising coming out? I dont know. I just wish I could shake this feeling. Daddy keeps reasuring (sorry cant spell, ever LOL) me that I should not feel bad about what I did, that I clearly enjoyed myself at the time, went all sub-space and everything during the scene, and it was what he wished me to do and that should never make me feel bad. I know he is right, I just hope this feeling fades soon...
thank you all for your insight on this situation, it is appreciated!

Telling a person not to feel how they are feeling is pretty much pointless and usually just adds onto your guilt and confusion.

Yes- he's right, but it's not anything that will help you now.

WHY do you feel wrong and guilty? You think it might be some ideals you have about what's "right" with sex but pinpoint the issue exactly. Is it that you didn't have another female to reinforce that it was ok? Was it lacking another female that made you take on the full brunt of your actions with two men alone that shocks you now?

Or it might just be that you lost a type of virgnity that you weren't prepared for and the shellshock needs to be given time to pass over.

There could be a lot of reasons, keep talking about it and work through it.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

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RE: guilt after scene? - 7/21/2006 7:39:36 PM

TemptingNviceSub

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: hisforever

It has not been long at all since the pair broke things off. His wife was the first woman I had done anything with, and we were friends for a while, then just lost touch. I do not think that it had anything to do with her. I think maybe it may just be the whole I had sex with two men at once thing. Daddy says not to feel like I do, because he ordered me to do it. I cannot help but feel that I have done something wrong. Maybe its just the catholic raising coming out? I dont know. I just wish I could shake this feeling. Daddy keeps reasuring (sorry cant spell, ever LOL) me that I should not feel bad about what I did, that I clearly enjoyed myself at the time, went all sub-space and everything during the scene, and it was what he wished me to do and that should never make me feel bad. I know he is right, I just hope this feeling fades soon...
thank you all for your insight on this situation, it is appreciated!

Telling a person not to feel how they are feeling is pretty much pointless and usually just adds onto your guilt and confusion.

Yes- he's right, but it's not anything that will help you now.

WHY do you feel wrong and guilty? You think it might be some ideals you have about what's "right" with sex but pinpoint the issue exactly. Is it that you didn't have another female to reinforce that it was ok? Was it lacking another female that made you take on the full brunt of your actions with two men alone that shocks you now?

Or it might just be that you lost a type of virgnity that you weren't prepared for and the shellshock needs to be given time to pass over.

There could be a lot of reasons, keep talking about it and work through it.

God your good LA!...just had to tell you..back to the thread..

..Tempting

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RE: guilt after scene? - 7/22/2006 6:51:38 AM

hisforever

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thank you for your insightful responses. The feelings are starting to pass now. I am feeling better about what happend, and am beginning to be ok with it. Thank you all again!

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