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how will i know that i am dom /sub/switch - 7/21/2006 10:59:49 AM

maysubgirl

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how could someone know if she is dom/sub or switch is there any way for it ?

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RE: how will i know that i am dom /sub/switch - 7/21/2006 11:12:05 AM

LuckyAlbatross

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Time and experience.

You may even find after many years of being settled in one orientation, you find yourself evolving into another. We grow and sometimes change.

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RE: how will i know that i am dom /sub/switch - 7/21/2006 12:24:39 PM

Estring

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Yes, yes there is.

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RE: how will i know that i am dom /sub/switch - 7/21/2006 12:31:25 PM

EvilGeoff

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quote:

ORIGINAL: maysubgirl

how could someone know if she is dom/sub or switch is there any way for it ?

Well.... generally speaking...

If your fantasies and sexual turn-ons are about you being in control of the situation or with you inflicting punishment/pain/humiliation to your partner, then you are probably a Dominant or sadist.

If your fantasies and sexual turn-ons are about you being helpless, out of control, or with your partner inflicting pain/punishment/humiliation to you, then you are probably a submissive or masochist.

If both kinds of fantasies get you all hot and horney and wet, then you are probably a switch.

If NONE of this gets you all hot and bothered, you're probably on the wrong board. *winks*

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- Geoff

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RE: how will i know that i am dom /sub/switch - 7/21/2006 4:15:18 PM

Cloudz

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Geez may...

Are they offering a PRIZE for the newest member to start the most threads?

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RE: how will i know that i am dom /sub/switch - 7/21/2006 5:08:22 PM

desertdancer

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I know I am no master or switch because the idea of spanking someone else can bring me to tears...

I know I am a slave because the idea of master not spanking me can bring me to tears.

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RE: how will i know that i am dom /sub/switch - 7/21/2006 5:08:40 PM

deltadawn

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Am I totally crazy here? I thought you were a collared submissive?

Confused is not the word for things now!!

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RE: how will i know that i am dom /sub/switch - 7/21/2006 5:13:25 PM

akisha

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Maybe may is having thoughts of lining up her Masters and Mistresses and spanking them.

Could be switch tendancies.

Or maybe having seven Dominants trying to control her has her tired and confused. Lord knows if I was trying to serve that many i might have thoughts of being Dominant instead.

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RE: how will i know that i am dom /sub/switch - 7/21/2006 5:19:25 PM

desertdancer

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She has 7? Whoah, I can hardly keep up with the one I have...7 huh? Wow someone give that girl a medal..or a cookie...whichever.

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RE: how will i know that i am dom /sub/switch - 7/21/2006 5:38:52 PM

peta

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7????? 7?????

Talk overkill.

ROFL
peta

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RE: how will i know that i am dom /sub/switch - 7/21/2006 6:02:52 PM

yourMissTress

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quote:

ORIGINAL: akisha

Maybe may is having thoughts of lining up her Masters and Mistresses and spanking them.

Could be switch tendancies.

Or maybe having seven Dominants trying to control her has her tired and confused. Lord knows if I was trying to serve that many i might have thoughts of being Dominant instead.

Well, she did say that she serves each of them only about once a month or whenever she feels like it...

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RE: how will i know that i am dom /sub/switch - 7/21/2006 6:10:20 PM

cyberdude611

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It's not something most people can determine in one day. Now some people are either very dominant or very submissive and there is no question about it. If that is you, then that is great. But for most people, it isn't that easy to figure out. Most of the people I've talked to that has been interested in bdsm will almost always tell me they've played both sides before. Now some will say they hated the other side and never do it again. But very, very, very few have told me that they havn't ever attempted the other role. Curiousity usually gets the best of people of both roles.

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RE: how will i know that i am dom /sub/switch - 7/21/2006 7:17:36 PM

akisha

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Well wouldn't that be considered casual play but just with a select group then?

But really if all the Dominants and may are in agreement and it works for them then good for them. I'm just saying that having to take commands and learning the likes and dislikes of so many Owners would make me consider switching sides too

Personally i could see having 2 maybe 3 play partners, but even then scheduling would be an issue but I doubt I'd collar to any of them. If I collar it will be to one person.

< Message edited by akisha -- 7/21/2006 7:18:03 PM >

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RE: how will i know that i am dom /sub/switch - 7/21/2006 7:50:48 PM

Lashra

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I am a Dominant female, I always have been I always will be. I like to be in control and in charge in the bedroom, outside of it I feel comfortable letting him make some decisions with my input. However when it comes to major life decisions I will make them as I have full confidence in my ability to do so.
SOME subs would rather their Dominant make all the decisions and have all the control whilst others like their Dominant to make some of the decisions. Switches can go either way. It just depends upon the person, everyone is different.

~Lashra
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RE: how will i know that i am dom /sub/switch - 7/21/2006 8:24:54 PM

TNstepsout

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Yes. There is an arcade near my house with this machine in it. It costs .50 cents and you hold on to this little knob and these lights flash and whatever it lands on, that's what you are.

At least that's how I did it.

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RE: how will i know that i am dom /sub/switch - 7/21/2006 8:51:17 PM

stef

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quote:

ORIGINAL: yourMissTress

Well, she did say that she serves each of them only about once a month or whenever she feels like it...

In her introduction, four days ago, she posted the following:

i have explored myself and found that i am submissive but not sure if i need master of mistress

Since that post she's up to seven masters and mistresses? I can't help but think we have a one handed typist in our midst.

~stef

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RE: how will i know that i am dom /sub/switch - 7/21/2006 9:30:46 PM

fyrekittyn

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I am a switch. It took me about 4 years of real life play to figure that out. I catagorize myself as bottom to most, sub to a select one or two, and Domme to a few. You just have to do what feels comfortable to you. Lately, my sadistic side has been asking for attention, so I am addressing that.

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RE: how will i know that i am dom /sub/switch - 7/21/2006 10:27:51 PM

SexyRed

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You just know.

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RE: how will i know that i am dom /sub/switch - 7/21/2006 10:40:34 PM

akisha

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Nooo I can't agree with that, not everyone "Just knows" what they are. As we learn and experiment and grow with in ourselves we change. some people delve deeper into the role they started in. Others will go from submissive to switch and possibly to Dominant. I know some people that started out as Dominants then went to switching then to full submission.

Our wants and desires change through out our lives. They may change in the form of the type of play we do or like or even are willing to try. Or they may change in where on the power scale we want to be.

For example, in most of the aspects of my life I am a very Alpha, Dominant personality. but sexually i've always been submissive. So therefore i thought something was screwed up in my brain. First I tried to deny my desires of wanting to be sexually controlled. Then as i became more comfortible with my desire for kinky sex i felt that i should be Dominant in that aspect as well. Ohh such a bad idea on my behalf lol but that's a different story. Lets just say it was a mess.

Anyway, as i finally embraced that i was a sexual submissive i began to realize i liked to submit in more then just a sexual nature. I still do not want to be a slave or 100% controlled but I have learned in the years between the age of 16 and 32 that i am more then a sexual submissive, I want a Dominant in my life to fullfil more areas then just as a kinky bed buddy. I actually enjoy giving up control of other aspects of my life as well. I have learned alot in 16 years but amazingly I've learned the most in just the last 2 or 3. Heck even the last 6 months have made a big difference in my thought patterns on some issues. Mostly thanks to a couple people i met on here, and some of the discussion on this forum.

So no, I don't think everyone Just Knows what they are. I think some realize that they are predominantly Dominant or submissive but that's not to say it wont change in time.

edited because it's late and the spelling trolls are taking over my brain

< Message edited by akisha -- 7/21/2006 10:46:18 PM >

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RE: how will i know that i am dom /sub/switch - 7/21/2006 10:58:54 PM

SexyRed

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quote:

ORIGINAL: akisha

Nooo I can't agree with that, not everyone "Just knows" what they are. As we learn and experiment and grow with in ourselves we change. some people delve deeper into the role they started in. Others will go from submissive to switch and possibly to Dominant. I know some people that started out as Dominants then went to switching then to full submission.

Our wants and desires change through out our lives. They may change in the form of the type of play we do or like or even are willing to try. Or they may change in where on the power scale we want to be.

For example, in most of the aspects of my life I am a very Alpha, Dominant personality. but sexually i've always been submissive. So therefore i thought something was screwed up in my brain. First I tried to deny my desires of wanting to be sexually controlled. Then as i became more comfortible with my desire for kinky sex i felt that i should be Dominant in that aspect as well. Ohh such a bad idea on my behalf lol but that's a different story. Lets just say it was a mess.

Anyway, as i finally embraced that i was a sexual submissive i began to realize i liked to submit in more then just a sexual nature. I still do not want to be a slave or 100% controlled but I have learned in the years between the age of 16 and 32 that i am more then a sexual submissive, I want a Dominant in my life to fullfil more areas then just as a kinky bed buddy. I actually enjoy giving up control of other aspects of my life as well. I have learned alot in 16 years but amazingly I've learned the most in just the last 2 or 3. Heck even the last 6 months have made a big difference in my thought patterns on some issues. Mostly thanks to a couple people i met on here, and some of the discussion on this forum.

So no, I don't think everyone Just Knows what they are. I think some realize that they are predominantly Dominant or submissive but that's not to say it wont change in time.

edited because it's late and the spelling trolls are taking over my brain

I get your point. I should have said, I personally have always known and have never worried, about my predilictions or needed to analyze them. They have not changed since I was born. I doubt they will ever change. But you are right, many people are confused as to what they want and need and many do morph throughout their lifetime.

I still maintain, however, that there is one way you feel deep down inside that will tell you what you are.

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