RE: Tolerates BDSM Community?

RE: Tolerates BDSM Community? (Full Version)

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Caretakr -> RE: Tolerates BDSM Community? (7/21/2006 3:08:34 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Bearlee ...but Caretakr,Sir.... where do you MEET them, to make them yours? bearlee Places like this,then we arrange a public meet, and it goes from there. It's not that difficult, if you have half a brain. And besides,the public scene tends to inculcate a "public attitude" and I dislike princesses.

LotusSong -> RE: Tolerates BDSM Community? (7/21/2006 3:10:11 PM)
I found that after three years it just got too depressing. I came and learned what I wanted and helped when I could. You would see the same diehard “lifestyle” dominants still looking for the “one”. Then you had those who’s life was mundane and in a 9-5 job. They could come and pull an identity of either Sub/Slave or Dom/me and actually BE somebody for a couple hours. I could see the same ones who had been going year after year and wearing the same outfits they bought 20-30 pounds ago, the old fixtures of the group. I just stood back and looked at those aging faces and decided I didn’t want to be one of them.

KatyLied -> RE: Tolerates BDSM Community? (7/21/2006 3:10:53 PM)
quote: And…I’ve NEVER seen anybody bare breasts at a munch! Sheeshhhhhhhhhhhhhh I’m sorry it was like that for you, Katy! Many will tell you a munch is just a group of people getting together to share. That hasn't been my experience. It was my first time to attend that munch. They took up a collection of $1/person and a sub sat through the evening topless. I didn't expect it and it's just another reason I don't like munches. At the first one I attended (a different group), I found it too incestuous, many had played with each other or been each other's Dom/sub, and it just wasn't the "group of friends and chat" I was seeking. I found the answer - I have a small group of sub friends and we get together once a month for dinner/cocktails/chat. We sought each other out, here on collarme and have started getting together.

BillsGalSusan -> RE: Tolerates BDSM Community? (7/21/2006 3:13:39 PM)
I just filled out my profile a few days ago. When I saw "tolerates" as one of the choices in the pick lists of activities, I thought it was the category to use when I didn't really care for something myself, didn't have any strongly negative feelings about it, and would be willing to do it (though not particularly joyfully) if it rang someone else's chimes. I didn't chose "tolerate" for anything I put in my profile, though I would have chosen it if I had to weigh in on either hockey or curling. Another Susan

Caretakr -> RE: Tolerates BDSM Community? (7/21/2006 3:15:26 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KatyLied quote: And…I’ve NEVER seen anybody bare breasts at a munch! Sheeshhhhhhhhhhhhhh I’m sorry it was like that for you, Katy! Many will tell you a munch is just a group of people getting together to share. That hasn't been my experience. It was my first time to attend that munch. They took up a collection of $1/person and a sub sat through the evening topless. I didn't expect it and it's just another reason I don't like munches. At the first one I attended (a different group), I found it too incestuous, many had played with each other or been each other's Dom/sub, and it just wasn't the "group of friends and chat" I was seeking. I found the answer - I have a small group of sub friends and we get together once a month for dinner/cocktails/chat. We sought each other out, here on collarme and have started getting together. I prefer small private groups as well.

Bearlee -> RE: Tolerates BDSM Community? (7/21/2006 3:18:45 PM)
Yes, me too, really. Perhaps it's because the group I do attend now and then IS fairly small! That and already knowing some of the people who go and counting them as good friends.

mstrj69 -> RE: Tolerates BDSM Community? (7/21/2006 3:25:49 PM)
Having been a member of a group for sometime, I will say it had it's share of a holes and arguements until it finally split into those who just wanted to play and argue and those who hust wanted to be with others and have it as an easy place to meet with friends of the same mindset. The latter group is still going, the former disbanded as nobody could agree on anything. We have some members who might make it once every 6 months but they are accepted because we know the quality of person they are and that we are not going to have an arguement by their being there. As to the OP, if you are not experienced and have been to groups before, I would say there is no reason to say you do not want to go. It is fun knowing people in other cities or states whom you may not visit that often but when you do you know you will be welcomed.

popeye1250 -> RE: Tolerates BDSM Community? (7/21/2006 3:27:11 PM)
"Been there done it." Too many egos, politics, games, cliqueishness, etc. And way too many overweight people too.And I mean WAY overweight, Sara Lee Spandex overweight! Sorry but just not attractive to me. Hopefully I'll meet someone in here.

diamonddreamlove -> RE: Tolerates BDSM Community? (7/21/2006 6:49:00 PM)
Attend a very small munch here and have had a blast getting to know the people. Would hate to think that i could not join them when i wish to just talk about the weather in a different way lol.

Vancouver_cinful -> RE: Tolerates BDSM Community? (7/21/2006 6:55:31 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KatyLied Munches can be weird experiences. I've been to two and I doubt I'll ever go to another. I don't want to sit at a table with the expectation that I will bare my breasts to a bunch of strangers.....I'm silly like that. See, this is an example of munches varying dependant on the local community. Vancouver munches are held a local, large restaurants. Overt fetish wear, toys on display, nudity...it does not happen. Now, what some people might object to about our munches is that they can almost be too vanilla for people who are hoping to indulge in a little fetish play, or too disappointing for those who expect some hot singles action. I've had local men tell me they never got lucky at munches, (or play parties), and then admit they only went once. (Sheesh, talk about high expectations!) So, people may not like munches (or play parties) simply because they have different expectations.

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