dannisub
Posts: 8
Joined: 1/11/2005
Status: offline
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Hi Everyone.
Ive come on the forums, i guess to keep my hopes alive.
I know from being a gamer over the years, that forums arnt the best of places to make your feelings known, without judgement and trolls digging their heels. but im willing to give it a shot, i have nothing else to lose.
Im a 29 year old transdgendered individual, who has grown up with an underlying need to serve, but also to live a very hardcore bdsm lifestyle. Its got so unbearable that its taken over my life in search for my owner, which has failed time and time again.
Ive gone through the majority of my life denying my gender identity, until i embraced who i am at uni, which came as a huge reality check, leaving me uninterested in the career path i chose, and consequently leaving me with student debt.
since leaving University in 2010, i came out as me to the world. My parents, my friends knew. I lost all my friends, and my father isnt the best of buddies.
I tried numerous jobs where I live. all have recieved discrimination, and bullying. I live in a town where i was born, been to every school upto college, and know alot of peoples faces. Bullying started on social networking sites, and became more severe and physical. I now live my life unable to work, without much money or transport.
During those years, i introduced myself on a bdsm site, wanting to create a group, known as a munch, for younger people and those of the LGBT to have a place to meet and make friends. So i founded and ran that for 3 years. Everyone who attended, were not of the LGBT but BDSM munchers nonetheless.
1 awful day arrived when i recieved a mail from a female stating that she hated what i stood up for, and basically brought out she is transphobic, and threatened that if i ever attended my own munch again that i'd be beaten up. I couldnt respond as she blocked me, and in panic, i wanted to find out why, and it spread into public, because she wouldnt speak to me. people being people, interigated me, and found out why. In my surprise other transphobic individuals came out of the wood work, and started to take sides with her, resulting in barrage of abuse. Slander began to spread throughout the local bdsm community online, and i had no choice but to quit the site altogether. I later learnt, that they didnt wish for a trans person to run the munch and promote LGBT.
during this time, i was also going through a process of obtaining hormones through the NHS (National health service. UK) they messed me around, but eventually gave me subscriptions to finally be me. during this process, i made it very clear i didnt seek a sex change, not until i was ready, if that day even comes. I just wanted hormones to start the process, and embrace my own self as the person iam, with the option of a sex change later on. So i got home with my subscription, Day 1 of taking eastrodiol valerates. Me being me, i did my research to make sure i was happy about what i was taking, and realised the testosterone blocker that i was also prescribed, was rather powerful and was going to do more than simply balance out my hormonal levels but to kill everything downstairs. I reviewed it with my neuro psychiatrist , and i found out i was put down to be put into surgery within 2 years. I stressed, that i didnt want a sex change and that i wanted to live on hormones until i felt i was ready.
He turned around and said, you either have surgery and hormones, or nothing at all.
since then ive been fighting a depression caused from that day, but stressed with my GP, to have a referral to Nottingham for a second opinion. all this has taken 6 years, and its still ongoing.
Recently. i started streaming games online, to try and gain income, on a site called twitch.tv. There ive met alot of wonderful supportive people around the world, who i now have a community with. I started to gain income, until My pc this week decided enough is enough, and now doesnt like even watching video without crashing. (i think its my GPU). Ive since stopped due to my pc, but still maintain the community i run from streaming.
So my attentions have returned seeking my owner, ive been looking for, for 7 years now. Im seeking my owner in little hope that i can finally bring some happiness and joy into someones life. to relocate, find work and piece by piece sort out all the wrongs ive had in the past, and live a fullfilled bdsm lifestyle as a true slave, Maid, pet and/or pony.
I have so much love, and affection to give. I want to explore pain, lots of bondage, to living in complete servitude to make my mistress and owner the happiest person in the world.
will anyone give me that chance?!
I wanted to share my story no matter the reply. it may destroy my chances of finding anyone, but then it might create some friendships. my armour is stripped, and im naked before your feet. will anyone have me. hehe.
I just wanted to say hi, and hope i could find some like minded friends, and who knows. maybe someone special down the road.
ive deleted, rewritten and deleted this post for 2 days. i feel scared. hehe.
Lots of love and kisses to feet.
Yours truely.
Danni.
slave/pet
xxxx
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Lost but not given up. slave&pet needing ownership - 
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