RE: How to find kinky people without Fet

RE: How to find kinky people without Fet (Full Version)

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Bhruic -> RE: How to find kinky people without Fet (7/26/2016 8:42:17 AM)
Hey Nookie! :)

LadyPact -> RE: How to find kinky people without Fet (7/26/2016 8:45:26 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Bhruic Well yes... But alt.com is a site with a slightly different philosophy. They exist to extract money from you, and they supply their own bots and socks to give the appearance of higher membership, and try and hook you for even more money for "features" even after you have already paid... A total scam site. Hi Bhuric, The very first site that I was on was Alt. I haven't been on for about ten years now, so some of what I'll say here might be outdated. In my opinion, Alt is (or was) the most gender based pricing system that I have ever seen. Being male, you paid for membership and probably paid for messaging privileges. Being female, I never paid Alt a dime. I got free messaging because I had the number of profile views a day that was required to give you that ability. (It was only something like ten views a day, so it really wasn't that big of a deal.) I played in Atlanta a lot at that time, so it wasn't like people didn't look me up. I know there was a buyout at some point, and I know a lot of the women who had accounts there left in droves when Fet started up. Fet replaced what a lot of people were using Alt for, especially women, so basically what you've got left is a sausage fest. quote: Even though Fet's ownership are incompetent at design and programming, and don't really seem to understand their own community, at least their hearts seedmed once to be in the right place... Although they also play the fake membership numbers game by refusing to delete dead accounts. Of the 4.5 million members they claim, I can't imagine more than 500k of them are actually real active members. Last I saw was 600k but the point remains. I'm on here and I'm on Fet. (The Alt profile is dead.) I'm honestly not aware of any of the kink sites that clear their dead profiles, so I would need more info on that. quote: Especially since - and this boggled my mind when I recently learned it - you didn't even have to use a legit email address to join before they closed the doors. You could literally create as many profiles as you wanted... And some have claimed creating as many as 2500 profiles!!! The legit email address doesn't matter to me much. It's not like a person can't create new email accounts on yahoo, gmail, and a ton of other services for free. What's that going to take a person? Five extra minutes to get the new email? quote: And Fetlife actually encouraged the creation of multiple profiles... Probably to enhance their ad revenue. Yeah, but that's the same as here. I've never had a problem with people having a professional account and a personal account or couples who had a couples account as well as individual accounts. I don't think that's the major issue. quote: A nominal paid subscription would mostly solve all their problems... But they should have the guts to simply announce that honestly. Tell existing members that they will enjoy the benefit of continued free membership, but that new members must pay to join. That probably would have went over about as well as a fart in church, too. I know you're on the thread. Can't say how much of it you've read but there's a goods share of people who have written about if it was pay to join when they first found it they wouldn't have or they are too broke to contribute financially. That solution would have made a bunch of people unhappy, too.

freedomdwarf1 -> RE: How to find kinky people without Fet (7/26/2016 8:45:37 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: WhoreMods quote: ORIGINAL: Bhruic I don't know if I can agree with that. As you say... People expect to pay for a service, and you get what you pay for. Especially in this milieu, a nominal fee does solve a lot of problems with socks, trolls etc.. My problem with Fetlife is the way they are going about it - rather dishonestly - and the fact that the site is so feature poor that a fee seems a bit much for what you would be getting. That said, look how shitawful alt.com is as a site, and they've been charging a fee for longer than fetlife has even existed. I've been a member of Alt for about 9 years and actually had more success at meeting people than on here. And I haven't paid a single red cent for membership - I'm just a standard freebie member.

littleladybug -> RE: How to find kinky people without Fet (7/26/2016 8:46:44 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Bhruic I personally think it is a manufactured "crisis" , and a totally unworkable "solution" designed to soften people up for the eventual introduction of a paid only subscription format. I agree. I've only been on there for a relatively short time (about 2 years). The spamming, trolling, etc. has been going on since I've been there. If this was truly the reason for the change, I would think that it would have been implemented a while ago. -- I think that it would be a shame if the site was permanently made "invite only" or transitioned to paid. Personally, I have no interest in munches or events. I have enjoyed being on Fet primarily for the abundance of resources there. I like to have the ability to speak with and learn from those who are not in my local area. Would it be the end of the world if new people didn't have these resources? Of course not. But, IMO, there is a hell of a lot more on there than just information regarding local munches or events.

freedomdwarf1 -> RE: How to find kinky people without Fet (7/26/2016 8:58:42 AM)
I've tried Fet many times over the years and on different machines - it just doesn't work for me. Simple things like adding friends etc, the links that work for most are just plain text to me, not a link at all. Last time I looked (about a year ago), the 'recent' activity for UK groups were either more than 2 years since the last entry or more than 200 miles away; so nothing local to me at all.

Bhruic -> RE: How to find kinky people without Fet (7/26/2016 9:07:14 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact quote: ORIGINAL: Bhruic A nominal paid subscription would mostly solve all their problems... But they should have the guts to simply announce that honestly. Tell existing members that they will enjoy the benefit of continued free membership, but that new members must pay to join. That probably would have went over about as well as a fart in church, too. I know you're on the thread. Can't say how much of it you've read but there's a goods share of people who have written about if it was pay to join when they first found it they wouldn't have or they are too broke to contribute financially. That solution would have made a bunch of people unhappy, too. [/color] First... some valid points made in your other comments :) If you are talking about the announcement thread on Fet, I have read every post up to page 28. I saw people that said that they would never have joined Fet, or have been able to join, if it was invitation only. And I have seen people that said that they could not afford to support Fetlife in order to obtain invites for their friends. Honestly though, Fetlife is $5 CDN a month if you were paying. I find it a bit hard to believe that people who can afford a computer and an internet connection could not muster $5 a month for something they really enjoy, and spend a lot of time doing. I have heard the same complaint from people - at munches - while they drink a $3 coke and eat a $10 burger... and they spend $7 round trip on the subway to get there. If you find a place that allows you to really express who you are, and to find others locally that will welcome you in to an accepting community, but you actually can't afford $5 to have those things... then you must be living a terribly sad life indeed.

LilJuly76 -> RE: How to find kinky people without Fet (7/26/2016 10:06:55 AM)
my circumstance is different than most people but I could probably swing $5 if I could do it through my bank account, like paying a bill, I don't use a credit card nor paypal.

littleladybug -> RE: How to find kinky people without Fet (7/26/2016 10:16:48 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Bhruic Honestly though, Fetlife is $5 CDN a month if you were paying. I find it a bit hard to believe that people who can afford a computer and an internet connection could not muster $5 a month for something they really enjoy, and spend a lot of time doing. I have heard the same complaint from people - at munches - while they drink a $3 coke and eat a $10 burger... and they spend $7 round trip on the subway to get there. If you find a place that allows you to really express who you are, and to find others locally that will welcome you in to an accepting community, but you actually can't afford $5 to have those things... then you must be living a terribly sad life indeed. While I agree with the absurdity of "crying poverty" when one is spending 10 bucks for a burger, I do have an issue with telling people what they should be doing with their money. I've seen the comments like "just have one less latte a month and pay for membership". That attitude is one I really can't agree with.

Bhruic -> RE: How to find kinky people without Fet (7/26/2016 10:24:07 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: littleladybug quote: ORIGINAL: Bhruic Honestly though, Fetlife is $5 CDN a month if you were paying. I find it a bit hard to believe that people who can afford a computer and an internet connection could not muster $5 a month for something they really enjoy, and spend a lot of time doing. I have heard the same complaint from people - at munches - while they drink a $3 coke and eat a $10 burger... and they spend $7 round trip on the subway to get there. If you find a place that allows you to really express who you are, and to find others locally that will welcome you in to an accepting community, but you actually can't afford $5 to have those things... then you must be living a terribly sad life indeed. While I agree with the absurdity of "crying poverty" when one is spending 10 bucks for a burger, I do have an issue with telling people what they should be doing with their money. I've seen the comments like "just have one less latte a month and pay for membership". That attitude is one I really can't agree with. I think those statements are more about trying to illustrate, with an equivalent, how inexpensive something is, rather then telling people how they should spend their money. But I agree... they should'nt say "have one less latte..." as if everyone has oodles of disposable income they spend on lattes. It should just be " Hey... like anything else in life, if you don't think it's worth $5, don't buy it."

LilJuly76 -> RE: How to find kinky people without Fet (7/26/2016 10:43:48 AM)
maybe if the background wasn't black I would shell out $5

freedomdwarf1 -> RE: How to find kinky people without Fet (7/26/2016 10:59:35 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Bhruic quote: ORIGINAL: littleladybug quote: ORIGINAL: Bhruic Honestly though, Fetlife is $5 CDN a month if you were paying. I find it a bit hard to believe that people who can afford a computer and an internet connection could not muster $5 a month for something they really enjoy, and spend a lot of time doing. I have heard the same complaint from people - at munches - while they drink a $3 coke and eat a $10 burger... and they spend $7 round trip on the subway to get there. If you find a place that allows you to really express who you are, and to find others locally that will welcome you in to an accepting community, but you actually can't afford $5 to have those things... then you must be living a terribly sad life indeed. While I agree with the absurdity of "crying poverty" when one is spending 10 bucks for a burger, I do have an issue with telling people what they should be doing with their money. I've seen the comments like "just have one less latte a month and pay for membership". That attitude is one I really can't agree with. I think those statements are more about trying to illustrate, with an equivalent, how inexpensive something is, rather then telling people how they should spend their money. But I agree... they should'nt say "have one less latte..." as if everyone has oodles of disposable income they spend on lattes. It should just be " Hey... like anything else in life, if you don't think it's worth $5, don't buy it." But Bhruic, not everyone spends money in the manner you think. I have 16+ machines here; 5 of them on my desk. Some towers, some laptops, various makes and models. Not one of them has cost me a single dime (freecycle is great!). The auxilliary stuff like routers, flat screen monitors & switch boxes has cost anything at all. I never buy drinks or burgers or any form of cafe stuff or take-out - we can't afford it. Our internet is is just £20 a month (~US$28) but that package includes all our landline and cell calls for free 24/7. Line rental alone is almost £18 a month on its own here. Even our digital phones, sofa, washing machine, desks etc came for free from freecycle. So our internet and phone calls are actually costing us $3 a month; which I think is a good package. So to spend even as little as $5CDN would be out of our price range, even if we liked it. We don't pay any site fees at all. I top up my PAYG cell phone about once a year at a cost of £10. So far, since I topped up last July (2015), I still have more than half of it unused. When someone says that a small payment would cure all ills, not everybody is able to pay it, no matter how small the subscription is.

Bhruic -> RE: How to find kinky people without Fet (7/26/2016 11:53:21 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: freedomdwarf1 When someone says that a small payment would cure all ills, not everybody is able to pay it, no matter how small the subscription is. Perhaps so... but I suspect that the number of people for whom $5 a month is an unattainable goal represent a very tiny portion of the community. It may seem unfair, but it is unrealistic to expect a service business that has overhead to focus entirely on a demographic with zero disposable income. There are many many free, albeit inferior, resources on the web for that market.

littleladybug -> RE: How to find kinky people without Fet (7/26/2016 11:58:42 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Bhruic It may seem unfair, but it is unrealistic to expect a service business that has overhead to focus entirely on a demographic with zero disposable income. There are many many free, albeit inferior, resources on the web for that market. Don't know if you or anyone else knows the answer to this, but I wonder, if the move to a paid service is "necessary", how has Fet been surviving all these years without it?

freedomdwarf1 -> RE: How to find kinky people without Fet (7/26/2016 12:00:26 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Bhruic quote: ORIGINAL: freedomdwarf1 When someone says that a small payment would cure all ills, not everybody is able to pay it, no matter how small the subscription is. Perhaps so... but I suspect that the number of people for whom $5 a month is an unattainable goal represent a very tiny portion of the community. It may seem unfair, but it is unrealistic to expect a service business that has overhead to focus entirely on a demographic with zero disposable income. There are many many free, albeit inferior, resources on the web for that market. Many sites use advertising to generate revenue. So unless they are offering a huge advantage over the free sites (and for Fet that doesn't work at all for me), charging members to join is something of a bygone era. There are many good free sites out there that many people use.

WhoreMods -> RE: How to find kinky people without Fet (7/26/2016 12:04:27 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Bhruic quote: ORIGINAL: freedomdwarf1 When someone says that a small payment would cure all ills, not everybody is able to pay it, no matter how small the subscription is. Perhaps so... but I suspect that the number of people for whom $5 a month is an unattainable goal represent a very tiny portion of the community. It may seem unfair, but it is unrealistic to expect a service business that has overhead to focus entirely on a demographic with zero disposable income. There are many many free, albeit inferior, resources on the web for that market. Also: if somebody can't afford a three quid a month subscription (or maybe a pony now that the pound has sank, who knows?), are you not going to be worried that they're going to be trying to get into a fetish night in a rugby shirt, jeans and trainers (cheap ones, from Aldi), rather than spending an arm and a leg on some rubber and leather so they look the part? If somebody is on the fetish dating sites because they can't afford/are too cheap to pay a pro Domme for a session, why would you want them clogging up your site and wasting people's time?

Bhruic -> RE: How to find kinky people without Fet (7/26/2016 12:17:30 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: littleladybug quote: ORIGINAL: Bhruic It may seem unfair, but it is unrealistic to expect a service business that has overhead to focus entirely on a demographic with zero disposable income. There are many many free, albeit inferior, resources on the web for that market. Don't know if you or anyone else knows the answer to this, but I wonder, if the move to a paid service is "necessary", how has Fet been surviving all these years without it? Well... they recently made some announcement about losing their targeted advertising supplier... which doesn't sound good, and seems to have eliminated small local advertisers. And over the last few years the membership has been complaining about reduced features (like the elimination of kinky chat) and extremely slow site performance. Fetlife has been (or at least says they have been) hiring programming staff to handle the issues, but performance has not significantly increased, and features that were cancelled have not been restored, and some added "features" were very poorly implemented and unpopular. I think all that may have resulted in decreasing support from disgruntled paid members. But that's just my perspective.

littleladybug -> RE: How to find kinky people without Fet (7/26/2016 12:19:00 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Bhruic quote: ORIGINAL: littleladybug quote: ORIGINAL: Bhruic It may seem unfair, but it is unrealistic to expect a service business that has overhead to focus entirely on a demographic with zero disposable income. There are many many free, albeit inferior, resources on the web for that market. Don't know if you or anyone else knows the answer to this, but I wonder, if the move to a paid service is "necessary", how has Fet been surviving all these years without it? Well... they recently made some announcement about losing their targeted advertising supplier... which doesn't sound good, and seems to have eliminated small local advertisers. And over the last few years the membership has been complaining about reduced features (like the elimination of kinky chat) and extremely slow site performance. Fetlife has been (or at least says they have been) hiring programming staff to handle the issues, but performance has not significantly increased, and features that were cancelled have not been restored, and some added "features" were very poorly implemented and unpopular. I think all that may have resulted in decreasing support from disgruntled paid members. But that's just my perspective. Thanks.

ThatDizzyChick -> RE: How to find kinky people without Fet (7/26/2016 12:22:39 PM)
My only issue with Fet is they claim to be "completely free" and yet give all sorts of perks to those who pay.

Bhruic -> RE: How to find kinky people without Fet (7/26/2016 12:23:27 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: freedomdwarf1 quote: ORIGINAL: Bhruic quote: ORIGINAL: freedomdwarf1 When someone says that a small payment would cure all ills, not everybody is able to pay it, no matter how small the subscription is. Perhaps so... but I suspect that the number of people for whom $5 a month is an unattainable goal represent a very tiny portion of the community. It may seem unfair, but it is unrealistic to expect a service business that has overhead to focus entirely on a demographic with zero disposable income. There are many many free, albeit inferior, resources on the web for that market. Many sites use advertising to generate revenue. So unless they are offering a huge advantage over the free sites (and for Fet that doesn't work at all for me), charging members to join is something of a bygone era. There are many good free sites out there that many people use. Yes... but to attract advertisers, your members have to buy stuff. If you focus your business model on people with no disposable income, that's not going to have a positive effect on your ability to attract ad dollars. A good service business always has to be thriving, improving and expanding... and to do that you need revenue and growth. When you look at sites that have rapid initial growth, and then collapse... that is why. It's due to a bad business model. No offense, but the people with no disposable income are probably going to be the least likely to understand that.

Bhruic -> RE: How to find kinky people without Fet (7/26/2016 12:27:03 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: WhoreMods quote: ORIGINAL: Bhruic quote: ORIGINAL: freedomdwarf1 When someone says that a small payment would cure all ills, not everybody is able to pay it, no matter how small the subscription is. Perhaps so... but I suspect that the number of people for whom $5 a month is an unattainable goal represent a very tiny portion of the community. It may seem unfair, but it is unrealistic to expect a service business that has overhead to focus entirely on a demographic with zero disposable income. There are many many free, albeit inferior, resources on the web for that market. Also: if somebody can't afford a three quid a month subscription (or maybe a pony now that the pound has sank, who knows?), are you not going to be worried that they're going to be trying to get into a fetish night in a rugby shirt, jeans and trainers (cheap ones, from Aldi), rather than spending an arm and a leg on some rubber and leather so they look the part? If somebody is on the fetish dating sites because they can't afford/are too cheap to pay a pro Domme for a session, why would you want them clogging up your site and wasting people's time? Well no... because I presume they could not afford to go to a fetish night. I don't know about the UK, but in Canada kink clubs and events are often reasonably priced, but never free... except occasionally for single ladies. But point taken :)

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