Things not to do when you have been drinking....

Things not to do when you have been drinking.... (Full Version)

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jlf1961 -> Things not to do when you have been drinking.... (7/27/2016 6:43:59 AM)
1) Do not call up the local paper personal's desk and dictate an personal ad with the line "woman must have talent for blow jobs." 2) Do not attempt to design the perfect back yard roller coaster. Feel free to add your own.

WickedsDesire -> RE: Things not to do when you have been drinking.... (7/27/2016 8:27:09 AM)
24 years ago piss out a bedroom window whence hammered on glorious snakebite and drambuie drools as your mother in law walks underneath it - was her hoose too - true story guffaws

WhoreMods -> RE: Things not to do when you have been drinking.... (7/27/2016 11:38:55 AM)
Did you hit her?

Gauge -> RE: Things not to do when you have been drinking.... (7/27/2016 11:49:56 AM)
1. Cook naked. 2. Use a chainsaw in a tree. 3. Preach in your local church. 4. Try to relive your glory days in sports in a crowded bar. 5. Go to a petting zoo. 6. Text. 7. Go food shopping. 8. Decide that today is the day you will begin rock climbing. 9. Sing opera to your boss. 10. Try to make your own airplane.

ShaharThorne -> RE: Things not to do when you have been drinking.... (7/27/2016 12:24:18 PM)
1. Wear high heels... 2. Fit into a pair of pants a size too small (the heavy breathing will make you hurl). 3. Make out without protection (how I got pregnant on Beltane...)

freedomdwarf1 -> RE: Things not to do when you have been drinking.... (7/27/2016 12:30:19 PM)
Avoid all ills and calamities and don't drink in the first place [8D]

peppermint -> RE: Things not to do when you have been drinking.... (7/27/2016 12:33:38 PM)
A friend of mine did this. Opened the door to the refrigerator. Then opened the vegetable drawer and peed in there thinking it was the toilet.

jlf1961 -> RE: Things not to do when you have been drinking.... (7/27/2016 1:26:05 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: freedomdwarf1 Avoid all ills and calamities and don't drink in the first place [8D] That would be boring as hell.

freedomdwarf1 -> RE: Things not to do when you have been drinking.... (7/27/2016 1:49:57 PM)
My life isn't boring! I don't have time to get bored!! lolol. Yes, I do drink; but very moderately. Certainly not to the extent that it impairs my thought processes. Haven't been sozzled or even merry since my early teens. And that was a very long time ago.

jlf1961 -> RE: Things not to do when you have been drinking.... (7/27/2016 3:21:42 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: freedomdwarf1 My life isn't boring! I don't have time to get bored!! lolol. Yes, I do drink; but very moderately. Certainly not to the extent that it impairs my thought processes. Haven't been sozzled or even merry since my early teens. And that was a very long time ago. Impaired judgement is not always a bad thing, and there are times when getting blitz is a good thing... But I have to ask, they had whiskey in the Jurassic? Sorry, could not help myself considering you are a "Grouchy Olde Dinosaur"

Dvr22999874 -> RE: Things not to do when you have been drinking.... (7/27/2016 3:56:51 PM)
Don't play William Tell with a high powered german air-rifle and your cousin holding a beer can as substitute for an apple. Don't souvenir (steal) flags in a foreign country

kiwisub22 -> RE: Things not to do when you have been drinking.... (7/27/2016 5:01:30 PM)
Don't attempt to replenish your supply of glasses whilst at the pub....... Especially if you're underage and not smart enough not to let them clink.

DaddySatyr -> RE: Things not to do when you have been drinking.... (7/27/2016 5:34:09 PM)
Things *not* to do? Well ... 1) Walk up to the 6'9" 400 lb. guy, wearing the leather jacket with the Hell's Angel's colors and the 1%er patch and say: "Are you an asshole? 'Cause, you look like an asshole. I'll bet you're the biggest asshole in this bar." 2) Ask the barmaid if you get a free blowjob with every fourth drink. 3) Use the word "marriage" or "relationship" inside the bar, at any time when all you want to do is get laid. 4) insist upon doing "flaming shots" when you're wearing full facial hair. I'm sure I'll think of some more. Michael

Gauge -> RE: Things not to do when you have been drinking.... (7/28/2016 12:03:14 AM)
1. Write anything on the Internet. 2. Try to make Jello with coffee. 3. Attempt to translate hieroglyphics. I mean... ever. 4. Play Angry Birds. 5. Have a "make up argument" with your significant other. 6. Try to self tattoo with a rabbit as your tattoo gun. 7. Try to say 12 limericks... ever. No... seriously... ever. 8. Profess your love to a policeman. 9. Microwave popcorn. 10. Dance the Watusi with small farm animals.

Dvr22999874 -> RE: Things not to do when you have been drinking.... (7/28/2016 12:12:56 AM)
kiwisub............until recently, I actually had a t-shirt and some glasses from a pub ( Molly O'Grady's) in Invercargill. They were very trusting souls in that pub and I have to admit we took a little bit of an advantage of that fact. One thing never to do in New Zealand when you are drunk is to start telling sheep jokes to the cab driver when you are wanting to get back to your ship and it's 40 kms of completely empty country road.

Gauge -> RE: Things not to do when you have been drinking.... (7/28/2016 12:26:14 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Dvr22999874 kiwisub............until recently, I actually had a t-shirt and some glasses from a pub ( Molly O'Grady's) in Invercargill. They were very trusting souls in that pub and I have to admit we took a little bit of an advantage of that fact. One thing never to do in New Zealand when you are drunk is to start telling sheep jokes to the cab driver when you are wanting to get back to your ship and it's 40 kms of completely empty country road. Dude, you are a party in a bottle. So is the cabbie. Get down.

Dvr22999874 -> RE: Things not to do when you have been drinking.... (7/28/2016 12:44:32 AM)
We started off with the joke about why Kiwi horses ran faster than any others and then they gradually got worse until the cab driver stopped and told us to get out and do what I thought was a sexual and physical impossibility. It was a long walk after that.

Gauge -> RE: Things not to do when you have been drinking.... (7/28/2016 1:06:31 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Dvr22999874 We started off with the joke about why Kiwi horses ran faster than any others and then they gradually got worse until the cab driver stopped and told us to get out and do what I thought was a sexual and physical impossibility. It was a long walk after that. They run faster because horses can hear a zipper over a mile away. Didn't the cabbie know that?

Dvr22999874 -> RE: Things not to do when you have been drinking.... (7/28/2016 1:11:45 AM)
They've seen what the kiwi blokes do with the sheep.

Dvr22999874 -> RE: Mistress has wayward boy for new owner (7/28/2016 1:22:25 AM)
One other thing a (french) man shouldn't do when he's been drinking ( but on the reverse side of the coin)......... don't stand at the corner of a bar in a French port, telling the barman, very loudly, what assholes, pigs and dogs the british are when the bar is full of british seamen and one of them just happens to speak French.

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