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Can being sub to a domme change your personality? - 8/7/2016 3:18:29 PM   
canadamike222


Posts: 4
Joined: 5/29/2016
Status: offline 		I think it has done with me

I met a domme and it gave me a huge high, even though i felt a bit guilty aftwrwards but its totally changed me and im kind of scared

I used to feel quite masculine now i feel very effeminite, i get asked am i gay quite a lot, its almost like its put some feeling into me that i dont know how to deal with and i dont think its gonna go away, it could just be adrenaline, but im not sure i could replace it with another addiciton, because nothing will give me the same high i dont think

i used to work on a building site but i had to quit because i dont have the personality for it anymore and i spend most days confised as to whtehter to fight the feeling or embrace it, ive tried therapy but i think i confused the therapist

im sunk into a bit of a depression because i dont know what my personality is anymore and people seem confused by me, its tough going, id like to find some peace over it really

perhaps im just over reacing i hope thats the case, but id like some advice please

thanks

< Message edited by canadamike222 -- 8/7/2016 3:19:35 PM >
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RE: Can being sub to a domme change your personality? - 8/7/2016 3:22:13 PM   
HoneyBears


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Status: offline 		- FR -


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RE: Can being sub to a domme change your personality? - 8/7/2016 3:24:32 PM   
canadamike222


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quote:

ORIGINAL: HoneyBears

- FR -




that was my therapists reaction :(

does anyone understand what i mean?

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RE: Can being sub to a domme change your personality? - 8/7/2016 3:46:25 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
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Status: offline 		I'm having flashbacks to a thread a few years ago.

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RE: Can being sub to a domme change your personality? - 8/7/2016 3:54:11 PM   
HoneyBears


Posts: 337
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From: Pennsylvania
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quote:

ORIGINAL: canadamike222

that was my therapists reaction :(

does anyone understand what i mean?

If you do not have a kink-friendly therapist, chances are you will get viewed as FUBAR (fucked up beyond all repair) and referred to a psychiatrist to get prescribed meds. Unfortunately, psychiatrists do not engage in much talk therapy (psychoanalysts do, but not psychiatrists), and the purpose of psychotropic drugs is to manage symptoms which interfere with your daily functioning like having an anxiety disorder, panic attacks, extreme mood swings, your recent feelings of depression, etc.

To clarify, you did not meet a domme, as in go out on a lunch or dinner date. You felt guilty after having enjoyed your ostensibly paid session with a dominatrix.

Without specific details of what transpired and without knowing more about you personally, it is hard to conclude what happened. It is possible that this experience pushed a PTSD trigger.

It is advisable for you to stay away from BDSM until you can get yourself sorted out. Seeking therapy is commendable, but if you are having gender-identity/masculinity crisis issues, you may benefit from the fellowship of group therapy where you will not feel so isolated. Make sure to run this by your therapist, who is probably feeling too overwhelmed by the complexity of your case.

Best of Luck,

Lisa & Cub

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RE: Can being sub to a domme change your personality? - 8/7/2016 3:56:00 PM   
LilJuly76


Posts: 1245
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Status: offline 		I am truly gibbled and perplexed

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RE: Can being sub to a domme change your personality? - 8/7/2016 6:42:20 PM   
angelikaJ


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quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

I'm having flashbacks to a thread a few years ago.

http://www.collarchat.com/m_4914743/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm#4914743

But I remember another one.

< Message edited by angelikaJ -- 8/7/2016 7:15:11 PM >

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RE: Can being sub to a domme change your personality? - 8/8/2016 3:26:41 AM   
WhoreMods


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Status: offline 		You suspect that this might be a fantasy rather than something tht's actually happened to the OP?

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RE: Can being sub to a domme change your personality? - 8/8/2016 4:27:54 AM   
LilJuly76


Posts: 1245
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Status: offline 		the link that angelika gave actually made more sense, couldn't understand this OP post

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RE: Can being sub to a domme change your personality? - 8/8/2016 8:57:55 AM   
OsideGirl


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From: United States
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quote:

ORIGINAL: WhoreMods

You suspect that this might be a fantasy rather than something tht's actually happened to the OP?



There was a post very similar to this a couple of years ago, I've been trying to find it. It does make me suspicious.

As for the rest, personalities are hard to change and it usually take something traumatic to make an instant change. And I doubt the visit to a Dominatrix completely reversed his personality. If he is truly going through a personality change, I would suspect that the fantasy has been there all along and the visit to the Dominatrix gave him a "feel good" and he decided to let it out. (It appears from both of his threads that he may have an addictive personality)

He says that he's seeing a therapist, but doesn't say why or what he has as a goal for those visits.

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RE: Can being sub to a domme change your personality? - 8/10/2016 7:15:13 AM   
Bhruic


Posts: 985
Joined: 4/11/2012
From: Toronto, Canada
Status: offline 		Personality and behavior are not the same thing. While personality effects behavior, I think it would take a prolonged and profound change in behavior and situation before it started to have a fundamental impact on personality. It doesn't sound like the OP's
experience would achieve that.

It sounds much more like a buried personality profile that, based on experience, the OP decided not to bury any longer.

... I guess that's pretty much what Osidegirl said.

< Message edited by Bhruic -- 8/10/2016 7:18:03 AM >

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RE: Can being sub to a domme change your personality? - 8/10/2016 7:34:54 AM   
WhoreMods


Posts: 10691
Joined: 5/6/2016
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl


quote:

ORIGINAL: WhoreMods

You suspect that this might be a fantasy rather than something tht's actually happened to the OP?



There was a post very similar to this a couple of years ago, I've been trying to find it. It does make me suspicious.

As for the rest, personalities are hard to change and it usually take something traumatic to make an instant change. And I doubt the visit to a Dominatrix completely reversed his personality. If he is truly going through a personality change, I would suspect that the fantasy has been there all along and the visit to the Dominatrix gave him a "feel good" and he decided to let it out. (It appears from both of his threads that he may have an addictive personality)

He says that he's seeing a therapist, but doesn't say why or what he has as a goal for those visits.

That definitely sounds plausible.

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RE: Can being sub to a domme change your personality? - 8/10/2016 7:48:47 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Sub frenzy for his sissy desires. Which is what he probably paid her to do to him.

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RE: Can being sub to a domme change your personality? - 8/10/2016 12:32:34 PM   
Awareness


Posts: 3918
Joined: 9/8/2010
Status: offline 		Cool story Bro.

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RE: Can being sub to a domme change your personality? - 8/10/2016 12:54:07 PM   
vincentML


Posts: 9980
Joined: 10/31/2009
Status: offline
quote:

I met a domme and it gave me a huge high, even though i felt a bit guilty aftwrwards but its totally changed me and im kind of scared

I used to feel quite masculine now i feel very effeminite, i get asked am i gay quite a lot, its almost like its put some feeling into me that i dont know how to deal with and i dont think its gonna go away, it could just be adrenaline, but im not sure i could replace it with another addiciton, because nothing will give me the same high i dont think


You met a domme? Where? On a bus? Or you just happened to stumble into her play space?

You used to feel quite masculine but now you feel effeminate? Well great. Now you can go to a leather bar and suck cock. Best of two worlds. Do they still have leather bars?

And this from your other thread:

quote:

I'm kind of new to bdsm but tried it a dozen or so times over the last few years


Jesus, what bullshit!



< Message edited by vincentML -- 8/10/2016 12:59:26 PM >

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RE: Can being sub to a domme change your personality? - 8/10/2016 1:30:42 PM   
LilJuly76


Posts: 1245
Joined: 1/9/2016
Status: offline 		I was thinking subfrenzy as well but I wasn't sure on that one, it also seemed like a fantasy story to me.

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RE: Can being sub to a domme change your personality? - 8/21/2016 2:13:17 PM   
bendmeoverdz69


Posts: 2
Joined: 1/18/2016
Status: offline 		hard to say exactly, except that now you can't look at a straight individual and state that, I'd Never Do That.
Tends to make a person unsettled in there self confidence, if they would of previously would have looked down
on those for having done such a thing. It's like walking in someone elses' shoes !

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RE: Can being sub to a domme change your personality? - 8/21/2016 7:51:17 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		You look down on people who are attracted to same sex partners? Wow, homophobic much?

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