Discipline and contract provisions (Full Version)

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HonorInSlavery -> Discipline and contract provisions (8/17/2016 8:29:17 AM)

Good Morning All,

Very brief contract provision question.

In my contract with my Mistress, is a provision under the category of Mistress's rules of discipline, the first bullet point states, "slave will not invite or accept any act of discipline from anyone but Mistress. Any such attempts shall be brought to the attention of Mistress quickly as possible"

The follow on bullet, "in this area slave has Mistress expressed permission to resist such attempts by any at hand."

Could a Domme or experienced sub enlighten me as to the purpose of these 2 statements? By my own understanding i view this as no1, i am responsible to seek out another dominants discipline of me by getting satisfaction out of discipline in general, so i am naughty and break the rules on purpose. Discipline or punishment isn't my thing, i get much more satisfaction out of obedience and pleasing my Mistress, so i won't be going out to who're myself for discipline. The only other thing i can figure is that if i am lent to another Domme at a party, she doesn't have the right to discipline me if i inadvertently do something wrong or don't understand. i think it is probably also useful to prevent abuse at the hands of a Dominant who does not own me.

These 2 provisions i have seen standard in both my Mistress contract with me and a few sample contracts online.

Could anyone elaborate?
HIS



OsideGirl -> RE: Discipline and contract provisions (8/17/2016 8:33:09 AM)

Just as an FYI: It's frowned upon to cross post in the forums.



DesFIP -> RE: Discipline and contract provisions (8/17/2016 8:43:13 AM)

Ask her.
But it sounds like she found this contract online and didn't bother to adapt it to you.

Is this an online relationship or do you actually spend time together?



HonorInSlavery -> RE: Discipline and contract provisions (8/17/2016 8:54:49 AM)

Thanks to both of you and didn't mean to actually cross post.

It is both an online relationship and face to face relationship. Complicated situation but we spend a certain amount of time together each month as each other schedule allows. I'm thankful for what I have and that the fit seems uniquely good for both of U\us.

Should. I deleted the other thread cross post?



HonorInSlavery -> RE: Discipline and contract provisions (8/17/2016 8:58:26 AM)

i will be asking Her, She just has a ton on Her plate and I'm learning and have a bunch of questions... W\we (She) may have used the web sourced document, but W\we at her request have modified and corrected things as necessary to U\us



OsideGirl -> RE: Discipline and contract provisions (8/17/2016 9:55:02 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: HonorInSlavery

Should. I deleted the other thread cross post?


You won't be able to and the Mods will probably let it go since you're new.



WickedsDesire -> RE: Discipline and contract provisions (8/17/2016 10:22:05 AM)

Tis eve here godless time heathen I should thrash you for that alone.

You have no mistress - now I told you to leave them alone on here did I not sock



dom4badsusband -> RE: Discipline and contract provisions (8/19/2016 12:08:57 PM)

A lot of dommes/doms put something along this line in their contracts. Usually is intended to mean that no other domme has the right to engage with you without your owners express permission. This means in private (you are bad and seek someone out), or someone at an event/party, etc., decides to engage with you. If your owner is like me, they require you to show respect to any other domme that you come into contact with, which would normally mean submitting to them to a certain aspect, as a sign of respect. The second listing they have in your contract gives you permission to physically remove yourselves, or fight back, when you find yourself in a bad position with another domme, who does not have your dommes permission to engage, and be disrespectful, without the worry of being punished by your domme for doing so.



cloverodella -> RE: Discipline and contract provisions (8/19/2016 12:40:39 PM)

So you signed a contract you don't fully understand? That's never a good idea.

And if you can't freely ask your Domme about it, that does not bode well for your ability to communicate, which is paramount in a D/s relationship. No one but her can explain what she meant by including some provision. Even if it's some "standard internet contract" she pulled up, only she can tell you her interpretation, which is the only one that matters.

I do understand your thought of not wanting to waste time if your time together is limited, but this kind communication needs to be a priority over, shall I say, "physical pleasures".



solitarycrowd -> RE: Discipline and contract provisions (8/19/2016 6:58:07 PM)

I agree that you should get your Mistress's translation in this. I read these items as a way to keep you as her pet exclusively, and that she doesn't want you submitting to others. In fact, it seems she wants you to make it clear to others that your submission is only to her.

I feel this way about my sub. Of course, behavior in a munch type situation is perhaps a special occasion, and a sub should always be respectful to any domme. However, there is a distinct difference between respect and submission, and the submission of my sub is something only I get to enjoy.



HoneyBears -> RE: Discipline and contract provisions (8/20/2016 6:02:31 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: solitarycrowd

and the submission of my sub is something only I get to enjoy.

^This^ Why is this so hard for guys to get through their thick heads? (Little heads?)

Some (if not most) sub newbies get off on acting like male sluts-at-large - offering their submission to just about any and every kinky female in sight - when all that does IMO is make them undesirable and completely unsuitable for D/s ownership.

If my pet partner had gone around acting submissive to others, I would not have found him attractive no matter how much of a hunk he was/is and no matter how brilliant he was/is.

-- Lisa



HonorInSlavery -> RE: Discipline and contract provisions (8/20/2016 1:26:02 PM)

Thank You Both...this pretty much what I thought. It's just not a good time to pester with questions, her Mom is dying and really stressed with some other professional things in her life. Thanks again.

terry



MistressAubreee -> RE: Discipline and contract provisions (9/13/2016 11:14:30 PM)

My honest advice? Ditch the contract. I say that, because...
1. It holds NO legal ground in an actual court of law (some folks think it does, just because it has the name "contract" making it sound all official)
2. Contracts are honestly "dated" in the BDSM community, not a lot of folks (in the grand scheme of things) still actively use contracts.

My best advice to you would be to keep a line of communication open, constantly. Go through a BDSM checklist. These are the best/easiest ways to lay out everything CRYSTAL CLEAR for all parties involved.



Alecta -> RE: Discipline and contract provisions (9/14/2016 7:06:27 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressAubreee
Go through a BDSM checklist. These are the best/easiest ways to lay out everything CRYSTAL CLEAR for all parties involved.


Ahem.
Which is exactly the purpose of contracts.



stef -> RE: Discipline and contract provisions (9/14/2016 11:04:48 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Alecta


quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressAubreee
Go through a BDSM checklist. These are the best/easiest ways to lay out everything CRYSTAL CLEAR for all parties involved.


Ahem.
Which is exactly the purpose of contracts.

Not quite. The purpose of contracts is to bind people in a legally enforceable agreement.



freedomdwarf1 -> RE: Discipline and contract provisions (9/14/2016 11:18:52 AM)

Not quite stef.

In a BDSM sense, most of us are fully aware that any 'contract' is not legally binding or enforcable in any way, shape or form and won't stand up in a court of law.
So in a sense, it lays down the limits and bespoke rules that each are expected to follow.
It is still a contract, just not a legally binding one.
I call it a contract of trust rather than anything of a legal sense.



stef -> RE: Discipline and contract provisions (9/14/2016 12:02:46 PM)

You can call it a pomegranate if you like, it doesn't make it one. If it's not legally binding, its not a contract, it's an agreement.



freedomdwarf1 -> RE: Discipline and contract provisions (9/14/2016 12:17:43 PM)

If you wanna nit-pick. [:-]



Alecta -> RE: Discipline and contract provisions (9/14/2016 1:16:59 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: stef
The purpose of contracts is to bind people in a legally enforceable agreement.


A contract has been written, considered and notarised specifically to account for established law and precedence, whereas the agreement has not, this does not mean that the agreement is itself not enforceable or not legally binding, only that it has not yet been considered by a legal professional. Admittedly it gets a little confusing when agreements that are deemed enforceable then get renamed contracts and the unenforceable ones still stay agreements.

The purposes, however, are the same.



stef -> RE: Discipline and contract provisions (9/14/2016 2:15:17 PM)

Bless your hearts.



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