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A Dom and His prostate.... - 7/22/2006 6:42:19 AM

ThinkingKitten

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From: Ontari-ari-o
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I did a forum search and came up empty handed on this one, so on the old assumption that the only stupid question is the one that isn't asked... here goes.

IF manipulation/massage (however you want to describe it) of the prostate can result in a more intense orgasm for a male, and if a sub's goal is to please his/her Dom..... would a Dom ever allow/require a sub (male or female) to insert finger(s), or toys to facilitate such a thing (most likely while performing oral service)? I ask because I can't decide which side of the control "line" it falls on. Doesn't it give power to the sub (which seems strange)? I put the question under "General Discussion", as I hope there will be input from both sides of that line - Dom's who have perhaps allowed/required this (and why) or subs who have been allowed/required to do it to their Dom. How did either side reconcile it in terms of who had control?

If it seems like a stupid question... apologies in advance!
Thanks

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RE: A Dom and His prostate.... - 7/22/2006 7:18:22 AM

Rassitter

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I guess I am confused why you think this specific action gives the sub more power than he/she already has. I am far from the most experienced person on here, but in my limited experiences the sub has always had some power. The power to actually choose who to submit too. (I am not really a rapist, I just play one if you ask nicely) They have always had a safe word to use. Don't these actions empower the sub a lot more.

I have never done that, but If I was saying I wanted it done to me, and the sub did as I asked, I am just confused why you think it is then the sub controlling the situation?

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RE: A Dom and His prostate.... - 7/22/2006 7:21:14 AM

EvilGeoff

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ThinkingKitten

...I ask because I can't decide which side of the control "line" it falls on. Doesn't it give power to the sub (which seems strange)? I put the question under "General Discussion", as I hope there will be input from both sides of that line - Dom's who have perhaps allowed/required this (and why) or subs who have been allowed/required to do it to their Dom. How did either side reconcile it in terms of who had control?

Hi Kitten,

I'm sorry, but I fail to see where your scenario gives over power to the submissive. What's to reconcile? If "girl, suck my dick!" is the command, who has the authority or power then? The Dom for giving the order? Or the girl for following the order and giving head to the Dominant until he cums?

Changing the command to "girl, suck my dick, and while you're at it, get that finger up my ass and stroke me!" doesn't change the power exchange dynamic in any way. The submissive is still under the Dominant's authority and her submission is reflected in her obedience to the command and the pleasure she brings to him.

The _act_ of sticking the finger (or other object for that matter) into someone's anus is power neutral. What determines the power flow is who is in control of the situation and why it's being done. If the submissive suddenly stopped giving head and slipped around the Dom and rammed a strap-on up the chute, hollering "now YOU are going to know what it feels like, beeyotch!" yeah, the power dynamic has probably flipped... Otherwise, it's business as usual.

YIK,
- Geoff

< Message edited by EvilGeoff -- 7/22/2006 7:22:53 AM >

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RE: A Dom and His prostate.... - 7/22/2006 7:52:56 AM

ThinkingKitten

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From: Ontari-ari-o
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Thank you EG - when you put it this way....

quote:

girl, suck my dick, and while you're at it, get that finger up my ass and stroke me!

there would be little doubt as to who is in charge!

I think what puzzled me (and my search for such appeared to confirm) is that prostatic massage seems to be a common occurence between a Dom/me and a male sub (the Dom/me performing such act on the sub although I believe the reverse does occur), but I could find no mention of it between a Dom and a female sub. I think its also because it involves a penetration of the Dom's body (and I can't think of any other circumstance that would involve that). However, if most Doms follow your opinion and will order it when wanted, and its taken as a given, then I would agree that its a non-issue.

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RE: A Dom and His prostate.... - 7/22/2006 8:01:24 AM

EvilGeoff

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ThinkingKitten

... I think what puzzled me (and my search for such appeared to confirm) is that prostatic massage seems to be a common occurence between a Dom/me and a male sub (the Dom/me performing such act on the sub although I believe the reverse does occur)...

Understandable considering the exambles observed. In the case of a Dominant woman doing a prostate milking on her boy, it is sometimes done as a reward for good behavior, it's sometimes done for health reasons, maybe it's so she can torture him by making him cum without her having sex with him, etc...

The reasons for doing it are as varied as the people involved. With power exchange, keep your focus on the people, not the activity, to understand who is on which end of the leash. You can find masochistic Dominants and sadistic slaves. Who is swinging the cane doesn't always tell the story!

YIK,
- Geoff

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RE: A Dom and His prostate.... - 7/22/2006 8:43:29 AM

carolsea

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One of my most memoral "scenes" with my then-Master was after a party when most of the people had gone, and we were alone in the dungeon with just his other sub watching. Music was playing, the lights were low and dramatic, and there was a f*k-me swing in the middle of the room. HE got into the swing and positioned himself so I had total access to his genitals, etc., and I started dancing with him in the swing, swinging him slowly back and forth or side to side, going around in a circle with him, my hands always on the swing or his body somewhere.

While doing this, I pleasured him with my mouth, tongue, and hands, wherever I could get to him, even as far as swinging him away from me, and when he got close, mouth-fucking him, releasing as he swung back. I had perfect access to his balls and beyond. He moaned with pleasure and urged me on, saying all sorts of beautiful things that let me know he was absolutely in heaven. The atmosphere, the music, the weightlessness of being in the swing...

One Dom friend I told about it was appalled that the Dom let himself be controlled that way and in such a vulnerable position.

My Master hadn't told me to do it, and I was controlling the scene... but I was also controlled by my desire to please him.

(Not really about the prostate question, but I thought about it in the control/power sense.)

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RE: A Dom and His prostate.... - 7/22/2006 8:58:24 AM

ImpGrrl

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(Fast reply)

No *action* is more/less dominant or submissive than another.

Cocksucking can be dominant or submissive. So can fucking. So can ass-fucking a man - or a woman.

It's not the action - it's the intent and the motivation and the origin of the action - that makes it d or s.

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RE: A Dom and His prostate.... - 7/22/2006 10:44:18 AM

MHOO314

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IMHO as long as you are giving the order, who cares?

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RE: A Dom and His prostate.... - 7/22/2006 10:46:12 AM

Level

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ThinkingKitten

I did a forum search and came up empty handed on this one, so on the old assumption that the only stupid question is the one that isn't asked... here goes.

IF manipulation/massage (however you want to describe it) of the prostate can result in a more intense orgasm for a male, and if a sub's goal is to please his/her Dom..... would a Dom ever allow/require a sub (male or female) to insert finger(s), or toys to facilitate such a thing (most likely while performing oral service)? I ask because I can't decide which side of the control "line" it falls on. Doesn't it give power to the sub (which seems strange)? I put the question under "General Discussion", as I hope there will be input from both sides of that line - Dom's who have perhaps allowed/required this (and why) or subs who have been allowed/required to do it to their Dom. How did either side reconcile it in terms of who had control?

If it seems like a stupid question... apologies in advance!
Thanks

Absolutely a dominant would allow it. Pleasure is pleasure, and obeying is obeying.

And no, it's not a stupid question.

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RE: A Dom and His prostate.... - 7/22/2006 11:04:21 AM

popeye1250

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Imp Girl, well said.

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RE: A Dom and His prostate.... - 7/22/2006 12:37:55 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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quote:

I put the question under "General Discussion", as I hope there will be input from both sides of that line - Dom's who have perhaps allowed/required this (and why) or subs who have been allowed/required to do it to their Dom. How did either side reconcile it in terms of who had control?

If it seems like a stupid question... apologies in advance!
Thanks

Control isn't about the act- it's about the motivation.

Yes, there are some doms who say "Real doms don't do THAT!" and end up losing out generally on a lot of fun. They lock themselves up really into their own ideals and focus on appearances rather than simply motivations.

Let's just say every male I've done prostate massage with has greatly enjoyed and remembered the experience- dom or otherwise.

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RE: A Dom and His prostate.... - 7/22/2006 2:24:41 PM

Estring

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I don't think I would even be concerned about whether this was "Domly" or not. If that is what I want, my slave will do it. End of story. Some people overthink things and worry to much about appearances.

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RE: A Dom and His prostate.... - 7/23/2006 4:39:21 AM

wandering4u