RE: This is fucking ridiculous but.... (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress



Message

Gauge -> RE: This is fucking ridiculous but.... (8/20/2016 9:39:22 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: MizzesMia

Hello HiS,

Thank you for taking the time to respond with such a great message.

It's over. It's repeated. He isn't a sub. He is a kinkster. There's a difference and neither is wrong, it's just not what we agreed to.

Thanks again. :)



If he agreed to it, then it is wrong. Call a spade a spade.



SnowRanger -> RE: This is fucking ridiculous but.... (8/21/2016 12:13:37 AM)

Hello A/all,

The consensus seems to be, "Kick him to the curb." I concur.

Respectfully,
Mike
SnowRanger



LilJuly76 -> RE: This is fucking ridiculous but.... (8/21/2016 2:55:51 AM)

those do me subs are just pathetic, they get the wrong information online and wow they enter the lifestyle begging for Dominants to "do me the way I want to be done."



MizzesMia -> RE: This is fucking ridiculous but.... (8/21/2016 7:49:13 AM)

[sm=agree.gif]
quote:

ORIGINAL: LilJuly76

those do me subs are just pathetic, they get the wrong information online and wow they enter the lifestyle begging for Dominants to "do me the way I want to be done."

[sm=agree.gif][sm=agree.gif][sm=agree.gif]



MizzesMia -> RE: This is fucking ridiculous but.... (8/21/2016 7:53:03 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl


quote:

ORIGINAL: MizzesMia

I think the problem might just be insurmountable. It's as simple as, You are not a submissive, you're a guy who wants kink - which is fine, but I want a submissive. I want an exchange of power, not a power struggle.


That was pretty much my thought. I would still go for an adult conversation and then the kicking to the curb.




I'm so sorry! I missed this! I agree. Intelligent. Fair. And Just.



LilJuly76 -> RE: This is fucking ridiculous but.... (8/21/2016 8:02:07 AM)

I find they're are very little BDSM slaves on line and a lot of do me subs online.



MizzesMia -> RE: This is fucking ridiculous but.... (8/21/2016 8:05:01 AM)

[sm=yourock.gif]
TY!

quote:

ORIGINAL: SnowRanger

Hello A/all,

The consensus seems to be, "Kick him to the curb." I concur.

Respectfully,
Mike
SnowRanger




MizzesMia -> RE: This is fucking ridiculous but.... (8/21/2016 8:41:59 AM)

[sm=agree.gif][sm=agree.gif][sm=agree.gif][sm=agree.gif][sm=agree.gif]



HonorInSlavery -> RE: This is fucking ridiculous but.... (8/21/2016 4:50:04 PM)

Would it be wrong to inquire of his error? Only if you wish. Might be worth a laugh?



LilJuly76 -> RE: This is fucking ridiculous but.... (8/22/2016 2:58:03 AM)

kinksters have no idea they aren't submissives or slaves



NookieNotes -> RE: This is fucking ridiculous but.... (8/22/2016 3:09:39 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LilJuly76

kinksters have no idea they aren't submissives or slaves


This is true.

After all, people have been told that they are submissive if they like getting spanked or getting pegged. They don't realize that that has NOTHING to do with submissiveness.

That said, when people make an agreement and do not stick to it (or own up as soon as they realize they will not or cannot), that does mean they are a douchebag.



LilJuly76 -> RE: This is fucking ridiculous but.... (8/22/2016 4:25:03 AM)

that's true. eh if you are a kinkster and just like getting a spanking in bed than admit it, don't arrange something with an actual Dominant, claim you are a submissive and then say you won't do something as soon as the Dominant has something like do the household grocery shopping for the week.

The problem that I have with kinksters they don't know what BDSM is so they actually don't know what the letters stand for. They claim they are Dominant or submissive to get their kink filled, misleading people a long the way. It also gives them a bad rap among the lifestylers.

One of my questions that I always ask when people profess interest to me online, is what is BDSM and what does it mean to you? That's how I weed out kinksters vs lifestylers (hey that can be a reality tv show).



OsideGirl -> RE: This is fucking ridiculous but.... (8/22/2016 9:12:32 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LilJuly76


The problem that I have with kinksters they don't know what BDSM is so they actually don't know what the letters stand for. They claim they are Dominant or submissive to get their kink filled, misleading people a long the way. It also gives them a bad rap among the lifestylers.



I think that's one of the reasons that there are so many cries of "fake". You get people that are bottoms or tops claiming to be submissive or Dominants. So, they get called fake when they fail to perform. Add to that, the people that realize that those Tops and bottoms are misrepresenting themselves Dominants and submissives and refuse to engage...and then the Tops and Bottoms call them fake.



DesFIP -> RE: This is fucking ridiculous but.... (8/22/2016 9:29:58 AM)

Which is why people shouldn't get into a relationship until there's been a lot of conversation, including what they envision daily life being like, in detail.

It would be sensible for the op to keep that in mind next time.



LilJuly76 -> RE: This is fucking ridiculous but.... (8/22/2016 1:40:09 PM)

Tops and Bottoms don't understand that lifestyle submissives or Dominants would like to be involved with lifestyle submissives or Dominants, its a way of life a lot of us choose not just a thrill in the bedroom.

also for DesFIP: Bingo, I tell people on both sides of the slash all the time, conversation to find out if the person is right for them. I think the actual Dominants can weed out the ones that aren't submissives that way, same with actual submissives can weed out the ones that aren't actual Dominants and just kinksters.



DaddySatyr -> RE: This is fucking ridiculous but.... (8/22/2016 7:58:39 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: MizzesMia

I would really appreciate comments, mostly indicating how unacceptable this behavior is. I'm not the type to air my drama. I hate it in fact. I just really want this thing to get a dose of reality. Please.



There's a quote from Sun Tzu's The Art Of War that deals with this:

(I'm doing this from memory so it may not be exact) "If the orders are unclear, it is the fault of the general, when the soldier fails, but if the orders are clear, the fault is with the soldier."

I have always believed, if my orders are clear, there are only two kinds of failure on the part of the submissive:

1) Failure of ability, where they just cannot do as I've asked (ie; "Go out in the back yard and flap your arms until you fly")
2) Failure of desire, where they don't want to do as I've asked (In my mind, a submissive that wants to please me will go flap their arms. They'll try to do as I've asked. They desire to please me).

Since this case sounds like the submissive had the ability, he lacked the desire.

There are some submissives that will claim it is the fault of the dominant for not inspiring the submissive properly, but that's a cop-out. If a submissive isn't inspired by a dominant, they should just walk.

This situation sounds like your submissive was in the relationship for what they could get out of it only and didn't give a fat rat's ass about your desires.



Michael



Numerans -> RE: This is fucking ridiculous but.... (9/9/2016 12:05:41 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LilJuly76

those do me subs are just pathetic, they get the wrong information online and wow they enter the lifestyle begging for Dominants to "do me the way I want to be done."


They are bottoms and just mix it up with being a sub. Though Id say even a submissive can choose to disregard this or that and fights can ensue. Apparently this woman wanted a TPE which frankly is extremely rare and from what I ve heard works even rarer.


This guy seems to have been dealing with the issue as you would in any normal relationship...someone is nagging you about something you do not care about but you want to be nice to them so you say that you'll do it or not do it but then after some time you can't be bothered again. Some examples are drinking or smoking or clubbing late.
quote:




If a submissive isn't inspired by a dominant, they should just walk.



Disagree. Nothing is perfect, some things may not be inspiring, other things may not be agreeable. The issue seems to be that as mentioned the dude probably didn't know or didn't care to know enough about what a TPE is. Does not mean that he doesn't have a submissive personality or doesn't enjoy having someone make certain decisions in life or get dominated in bed or what ever else someone may associate with this term.



LilJuly76 -> RE: This is fucking ridiculous but.... (9/9/2016 12:25:39 PM)

granted not everyone is going to know what TPE is even if they are submissives. But this particular one does sound like a bottom to me.



If a submissive isn't inspired by a dominant, they should just walk.

I don't like that statement. I almost walked but not because of not being inspired. There was a low time for about 7-8 months where he took everything BDSM into the equation and essentially became vanilla. I was unhappy and I almost walked because of it.



WickedsDesire -> RE: This is fucking ridiculous but.... (9/9/2016 12:44:34 PM)

I can answer this in many ways would the reader prefer to orgasm or not…ach no matter.

You must beat that one immediately with a potato masher and then thrash creature thoroughly with the kitchen sink and thence tie it to the whirligig – on an eve such as this; dark and gloomy with horizontal rain lashing at their bodies and you (and cats) peer at them from the bedroom window and hurl insults at them and grand pianos’ onto their wee toe and anvils and thence sell all their belongings for cake money shoes etc and put them on muffinbay.

You either have what they call a mad fuker or someone so broken they are fractured from reality itself and inhabit a plethora of others talking arse spraying mayem and lunacy on one of their better days

Powerful as my mind is I cannot change them or rescue them.

You are not drowning.
They are drowning you.

Let them go before the do damage to you or absorb/waste a years of your life.
You will get no answers from madness/sophisms. ever – do not let that be the bait that binds you.

Or destroy them at their own game – trust me they are not worth the effort or toll they would take on you



Alecta -> RE: This is fucking ridiculous but.... (9/9/2016 12:53:47 PM)

It occurs to me, that perhaps he thought power exchange meant you finding ways of beating, cheating, tricking submission out of him and the whole being reasonable and patient thing just wasn't doing it. Just a thought.



Page: <<   < prev  1 [2] 3   next >   >>

Valid CSS!




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy
0.0546875