why do Y/you need pain? (Full Version)

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cielterra -> why do Y/you need pain? (7/22/2006 7:56:04 AM)

i seem to think too much when i have sub drop. It is sometimes a curse, sometimes a blessing, but i do usually learn something valuable about myself..

This time i was wondering... why do i need pain and why do i seem to crave it?

It seems i use the pain for more than just flying and feeling good...while it does feel awesome, and every stroke brings me closer to that place where nothing hurts and everything in the world is right, i found that i use the pain for a release.. to let go of every little piece of stress i have held on to. To break through emotional walls i have built up in the past, and in the end (even after being depressed for a few days) i think i am always better for having gone through it. Maybe that is why i crave it? i long to get rid of all the daily crap i have stored up since the last time i played? would love to hear what ya'll think... If you need pain, why? If You are a Dominant, why do You have the desire to give it?
Are there any underlying results?



sleazybutterfly -> RE: why do Y/you need pain? (7/22/2006 8:06:28 AM)

I love pain.  I am not sure why this is, it was something that surprised me a bit when it first happened.  I think as time is going on, I am craving it more and more.  To me, it's a release.. a release of passion, of pain, of sadness and more.  There just gets to be this thing that starts to rise up in me and I have to have it.  On days like that, the belt can not hit hard enough, the slaps cannot come quick enough...etc.  When it is needed there is no substitute for it, none.
 
I am not sure what causes me to crave it like I do.  It's not something I can really put into words.  The feeling is like no other though, I can tell you that much.  I am not sure what the mood would be called if I could give it a name.  It takes on many forms and comes from many parts of me.  For me, this might just have to be one of those things, that just is.
 
I know that didn't clear much up, but hopefully it makes sense.
 
 
~Andrea



hizgeorgiapeach -> RE: why do Y/you need pain? (7/22/2006 8:58:03 AM)

I simply enjoy the sensations.  I don't "need" pain - at least I don't see it as a Need.  I see it as a Preference and a Want.  I won't cease functioning without it, physically or mentally.

What causes me to desire it - to many factors to go into, ranging from purely psycho-sexual involvement to various portions of how my personal spirituality works, and a the simple fact that ... well... I just like the way it feels.



Needleddtits -> RE: why do Y/you need pain? (8/5/2006 4:20:27 PM)

Probably a two-fold answer for me.....I just love pain and it intensifies the whole experience.That's it in a nutshell.



Littlepita -> RE: why do Y/you need pain? (8/5/2006 5:07:15 PM)

I really don't know why I need it or crave it. I know that since moving in with my Dom and beginning this journey with him I do crave it and miss the pain if I have to go very long without it. It is cleansing for me and gives me a huge sense of relief. I feel closer to my Dom and more in touch with myself afterwards.



mstrjx -> RE: why do Y/you need pain? (8/5/2006 5:23:17 PM)

Ladies, hope I'm not interrupting anything here.  I just found it odd that none of my male contemporaries had stepped up yet.

I've been doing 'what I do' for a long time (15 years).  Before that I thought that bondage was the world, but when I entered the Lifestyle I found that the control aspect (emotional, psychological) was what gave me the biggest rush.

At the same time, I also became introduced to the idea of pain and the implements that bring them.  I became good at them, but to me it was still a device that was a portion of BDSM.  At the time, I didn't separate SM from D/s and M/s, although now I know that not everyone mixes.

I know the reason why I'm most willing to administer pain is if my partner enjoys it.  I learned long ago to, mentally, be willing to 'give' more than the recipient is willing to 'receive'.  Not always to go there, but at least to be prepared to.  Why?  Because I would hate to have a partner that I cared for and wanted to 'keep' find that I couldn't give enough of what she wanted.  So, I can play to quite the extreme.  Heavy pain play is not a requirement for me, but I can definitely step up.

Pain is just a device to bring about the emotions of the larger dynamic, in whatever fashion is being demonstrated with that partner.  I often use an equal amount of pleasure with the pain in order to bring the intensity of each to a very high level.

Thanks for listening.

Jeff



cuddleheart50 -> RE: why do Y/you need pain? (8/5/2006 5:25:56 PM)

I like pain with pleasure, not pain alone.



MsIncognito -> RE: why do Y/you need pain? (8/5/2006 5:30:17 PM)

I don't know if I'd say I need pain but I sure to love it. Why? Because its one of the most life affirming sensations I've ever experienced. Nothing reminds me that I'm alive like a nice does of pain.

The great art of life is sensation, to feel that we exist,  even in pain
~Lord Byron



LokisBrat -> RE: why do Y/you need pain? (8/5/2006 6:15:44 PM)

I love delivering the pain to my brat for one simple reason..............I'm twisted.  I love the look on her face when I whip her breasts.  I love to her her slight screams and crys when I clamp her clit and try to pull it off.  I just simply love seeing how much her body and mind can take.  She is such a good sport, she takes almost everything I dish out with pride as a good Sub should.

LOKI



SweetSarijane -> RE: why do Y/you need pain? (8/5/2006 6:48:04 PM)

Why I need or want pain is multi-fold. I love it, enjoy it and it feels good. It also is a multifaceted release for me physically and emotionally. It's fun, pleasurable and healing for me. Too complex for me to fully explain.



Tapestry -> RE: why do Y/you need pain? (8/5/2006 9:32:57 PM)

I don't NEED it, I won't die without it, but I do want it.  The pain takes me to that place where there is peace, tranquility, and all stress goes away.  Tension melts, and the daily trials and traumas no longer exist.  It's a beautiful serene place, filled with light and I just float there, effortlessly, happily, and innocently.  And afterward, as someone else said, I am more in touch with myself, and there is a greater closeness with Master.



songofeire -> RE: why do Y/you need pain? (8/5/2006 11:42:48 PM)

I crave a surrender so deep that it causes a loss of self, and accepting pain just because it pleases my Dominant to give it, necessitates that I reach that deep surrender.
Then I can accept and absorb the pain, submit to it, take it in to myself, and not resist or fight it.
And because of the accompanying surrender, I have learned to love the pain, itself.
But pain without surrender means nothing to me at all.

MarinMasoMama



Dollbecky -> RE: why do Y/you need pain? (8/6/2006 1:55:16 AM)

Its not a need for me ....air, food, water, shelter those are needs.
Its a want ...but its on the same want level to me as sex:
I.E  below shelter but above chocolate
I dont know about the whys ..its something I have always wondered about myself ..
The wiring in my head says Pain is Good   wheather giving or receiving, but given I find violence arousing* ......I just asumed my wiring was really screwy


* movies are a acceptable outlet for this; right?



krikket -> RE: why do Y/you need pain? (8/6/2006 5:19:58 AM)

Along with littllepita, i find that afterwards, the pain itself wasn't the issue, but the feeling of being cleansed is definately what draws me. It lifts me up f there's been something that drags me down and i feel purged of my "sins" -- forgiven.  At the same time, i become aroused, and knowing i'm pleasing my Dom/Master is what puts me into that lovely place called subspace.  None of  this happens easily, or quickly for me.  i have to have a special connection with my partner.  If i'm experiencing pain from someone "new", someone i've known long enough to feel comfortable being in an Sm situation, then it can be fun and somewhat cleansing, but that extra step is usually missing.

Good question -- haven't thought so much about the why, just the what, who and when..<gigglies>

cheers
jimini



81song -> RE: why do Y/you need pain? (8/6/2006 7:40:19 AM)

Who Knows but here is a story that was a window for me in a way.
It was after I made love and I was laying there in sweat just taking up the cool air that was running over my body. My lover, she let her bird out and it was flying around the room and as it so happened it landed on my body. My eyes were closed and I felt the bird land on my legs and felt it walk on my body. What I did not know in that bird brain was when he saw my nipple he was thinking that was a worm sticking it's head out of it's hole. And yes, you guess it, he tried to pull the worm. At the time I felt like killing the thing. But that nipple came out of my body like a new island coming out of the ocean...rock hard.
So.... pain.... pleasure, who knows but that nipple to very, very sensitive.



MistressOfGa -> RE: why do Y/you need pain? (8/6/2006 8:24:18 AM)

Fast Reply:

There is a burning in my stomach that is unlike any other feeling that I know. It is a deep burning itch to administer pain to my pup. I LOVE the way he whimpers and screams when I twist his nipple or clamp his balls. The fear in his eyes as I hold the lit candle over his body, the light line of perspiration as the fear becomes desire. The way he pulls the bonds that tie him when I am causing him pain. I love the way his ass jiggles when he stomps his feet in pain as I strap him. I have taught him that pain is pleasure and pleasure is pain, to the point of where there is no difference between the two for him. I love having my way with him, sometimes I will force him to use his own mental strength, by keeping his arms above his head on his own, without the use of restraints. Or I will command that he not say a word, no sounds, no moans, no whimpers. This is especially hard for him, as he is a screamer <s> What does all of this do FOR me? It calms the burning in my stomach. The monster that lives in the pit of my belly is fed, until the next time...Do I NEED to administer pain upon my pup? Without a doubt, yes I do. I make no apologies for that whatsoever.



LaTigresse -> RE: why do Y/you need pain? (8/6/2006 9:55:39 AM)

Pain and humiliation was the hardest taboo for me to overcome when I first began exploring BDSM. I do not at all want to experience it for myself. I know I have a high pain tollerance but I hate it and will avoid it at all costs. That being said there are things I would be open to experiencing with a trusted top or dominant as a part of my learning. Just not something I have a desire for.
To accept in myself that I do have a strong sadistic side and that I was okay with that was huge. Thru my learning I have had flashback memories of moments I had forgotten, times where I truely enjoyed seeing others suffer. I had to understand the other side of the coin, the desire for pain, before I could accept my desire to create it. The biggest hurdle was my absolute love of the psychological part of BDSM, the power play, the thrill I get from pushing people mentally and emotionally. I learned several years ago that I can easily destroy a person, totally break them. It confused, scared and thrilled me. It is not something I plan on repeating though I still feel no guilt, not about that one, not ever. It is the knowledge that I can push that boundary that is powerful, that someone would put themself in that place with me and trust me to take care of them and not damage them. That is the thrill.



deltadawn -> RE: why do Y/you need pain? (8/6/2006 10:28:46 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: cielterra

i seem to think too much when i have sub drop. It is sometimes a curse, sometimes a blessing, but i do usually learn something valuable about myself..

This time i was wondering... why do i need pain and why do i seem to crave it?

It seems i use the pain for more than just flying and feeling good...while it does feel awesome, and every stroke brings me closer to that place where nothing hurts and everything in the world is right, i found that i use the pain for a release.. to let go of every little piece of stress i have held on to. To break through emotional walls i have built up in the past, and in the end (even after being depressed for a few days) i think i am always better for having gone through it. Maybe that is why i crave it? i long to get rid of all the daily crap i have stored up since the last time i played? would love to hear what ya'll think... If you need pain, why? If You are a Dominant, why do You have the desire to give it?
Are there any underlying results?


I don't need pain.  I need to see the twisted pleasure in his face when he delivers that pain.   I need to know that by accepting the pain he dishes out I find my own twisted pleasure in receiving it. 

Guess that is enough in this house.

dawn



popeye1250 -> RE: why do Y/you need pain? (8/6/2006 11:42:35 AM)

I think any pain I inflict on a sub/slave should be pleasurable to her.
If it's not making her wet I'm doing something wrong.



kyraofMists -> RE: why do Y/you need pain? (8/6/2006 12:57:11 PM)

There are different types of needs.  There are the needs that we have for our biological survival, needs for our emotional and mental well-being and then needs for the well-being of our relationships.  Pain is not one of the basic needs for survival; my body will not die without it.  However, I am a masochist.  It is part of who I am and so I need to engage in activities that fulfill that aspect of me.  That part of my soul would wither and die if I did not do things to enhance it.  I know this because for years I did not value this part of myself and life was without passion.

Pain is my passion.  Whenever I think of passion, I hear David Boreanaz’s voice in my head:


Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey. What other choice do we have?... Passion is the source of our finest moments. The joy of love, the clarity of hatred, and the ecstasy of grief... it hurts sometimes more than we can bear.   If we could live without passion, maybe we could know some kind of peace. But we would be hollow. Empty rooms, shuttered and dank... without passion, we'd be truly dead.


Without pain I would be passionless.  I would be an empty shell going through the motions of life.

Knight's kyra



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