RE: why do Y/you need pain?

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RE: why do Y/you need pain? - 8/6/2006 1:14:05 PM

spankmepink11

Posts: 1310
Joined: 9/28/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: songofeire

I crave a surrender so deep that it causes a loss of self, and accepting pain just because it pleases my Dominant to give it, necessitates that I reach that deep surrender.
Then I can accept and absorb the pain, submit to it, take it in to myself, and not resist or fight it.
And because of the accompanying surrender, I have learned to love the pain, itself.
But pain without surrender means nothing to me at all.

MarinMasoMama

That was incredibly apt....and so eloquently put that i won't even try to improve on your excellent description...i feel the same...

(in reply to songofeire)

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Post #: 21

RE: why do Y/you need pain? - 8/6/2006 1:52:41 PM

daizy

Posts: 13
Joined: 3/30/2006
Status: offline

quote:

This time i was wondering... why do i need pain and why do i seem to crave it?

I used to ask myself this same question. Hours, days, and months were spent reading everything i could find that dealt with the enjoyment of pain....analyzing it all...searching and searching for the answer.

Then one day i discovered an answer that satisfied my need to know. You see...it really doesn't matter why i need the pain. The important thing is that i accept that this craving is part of me...a need that i might not fully understand...however, a very important element of myself.

I am a person who loves to read, gets enjoyment from gardening, thrills at the sight of a flying kite, loves to travel, thinks old hardware stores are one of the greatest of all places...and someone who enjoys pain.

(in reply to cielterra)

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Post #: 22

RE: why do Y/you need pain? - 8/6/2006 2:04:14 PM

Mavis

Posts: 828
Joined: 2/8/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: krikket

... the feeling of being cleansed is definately what draws me. It lifts me up f there's been something that drags me down and i feel purged of my "sins" -- forgiven. At the same time, i become aroused, and knowing i'm pleasing my Dom/Master is what puts me into that lovely place called subspace. None of this happens easily, or quickly for me. i have to have a special connection with my partner. If i'm experiencing pain from someone "new", someone i've known long enough to feel comfortable being in an Sm situation, then it can be fun and somewhat cleansing, but that extra step is usually missing.

i need that purging clean slate feeling, and for what? i'm a good kid. but the need is there, so i've stopped trying to justify it to myself, finally.

quote:

ORIGINAL: popeye1250
If it's not making her wet I'm doing something wrong.

i don't get wet over this, i might be strange, but my arousal is much, much higher. i can't exactly explain it, but somehow, if done right.. my brain kneels.

(in reply to krikket)

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Post #: 23

RE: why do Y/you need pain? - 8/6/2006 2:54:53 PM

DoctorDubious

Posts: 267
Joined: 6/24/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: popeye1250

I think any pain I inflict on a sub/slave should be pleasurable to her.

If it's not making her wet I'm doing something wrong.

Hey all....

Now, I know we are all unique and different,
but for me.... (and I respect popeye for his honesty)...

I don't do shit-all for her arousal, but for mine....

In fact, I'd put it even more strongly..
whether she gets "wet" or not is incidental ...
and if I was doing it from the place of pleasing her...
......... that's just another version of vanilla-world .......

See what this woman says...

quote:

ORIGINAL: songofeire

I crave a surrender so deep that it causes a loss of self, and accepting pain just because it pleases my Dominant to give it, necessitates that I reach that deep surrender.
Then I can accept and absorb the pain, submit to it, take it in to myself, and not resist or fight it.
And because of the accompanying surrender, I have learned to love the pain, itself.
But pain without surrender means nothing to me at all.

MarinMasoMama

.... when I play rough, it's about taking her surrender ...
and the giving/taking pain makes the dominance/surrender
physically real .... emotionally tangible....

>>But pain without surrender means nothing to me at all.

I'd go farther than her and say,
pain without surrender is abuse ... it's assault, it's a crime.

But rough play within D/s
gives it texture,
gives it "spice"
makes it savory instead of vanilla-sweet.

Some prefer savory, some want sweet,
... and I want to order from both sides of that menu.

DD, a raggedy-rough old goat.

(in reply to popeye1250)

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Post #: 24

RE: why do Y/you need pain? - 8/6/2006 4:31:17 PM

ToServeIsToLive

Posts: 222
Joined: 11/16/2005
Status: offline

At certain levels, types, and/or rythems of pain, i become extremely relaxed. There's also the satisfaction of knowing i'm allowing someone else to take pleasure from me. Although a lesser reason, there's a feeling of accomplishment as i expand what levels of pain i can relax with or just tolerate.

(in reply to kyraofMists)

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Post #: 25

RE: why do Y/you need pain? - 8/6/2006 6:10:09 PM

popeye1250

Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline

Doctor Dubious, it *does* give me pleasure to see my sub getting wet!
That's why I do it! lol

(in reply to ToServeIsToLive)

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Post #: 26

RE: why do Y/you need pain? - 8/6/2006 11:08:43 PM

abytchgoddess4u

Posts: 268
Joined: 10/17/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: cielterra
If You are a Dominant, why do You have the desire to give it?
Are there any underlying results?

I started exploring BDSM 15yrs ago, but didn't accept my sadistic nature until about 7-8yrs ago. For about a year, I didn't play at all, b/c I couldn't understand my yearning to cause pain. I did a lot of denial, self-analysis, soul searching, talking through, etc. and couldn't figure out where it came from and why. I really questioned my sanity, my nature and whether I might be a sociopath.

Finally I said, "Fuck it, it doesn't matter!", and explored that side of me. Now I revel in it! I get a wave of almost maniacal glee when I feel the urge to play, it's an endorphin and adrenaline rush combined.

The more I think about it now though, I think it's b/c of the reaction I get. It's direct cause and effect. If there is arousal on my sub's part, so much the better...if not, no biggie, I still crave it and will do it.

I've always been a real pain in the ass(even as a small person), poking/prodding/tickling/instigating/taunting/mocking/etc., I think it makes me feel more alive.

_____________________________

"Everything in the Universe Is within you.
Ask all from yourself." Rumi

"The world will know and understand me someday. But if that day does not arrive, it does not greatly matter. I shall have opened the way for other women."
George Sand

(in reply to cielterra)

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Post #: 27

RE: why do Y/you need pain? - 8/6/2006 11:33:28 PM

Tikkiee

Posts: 1099
Joined: 4/6/2006
Status: offline

For myself, I absolutly love to feel pain. I don't want subspace; just pain. Pain to me, is life. It tells me that I am alive and able to feel. It's a rush; and much like sky-diving or rock climbing; it's a challenge to see how far I can go.