Things I have learned from watching movies (Full Version)

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jlf1961 -> Things I have learned from watching movies (9/6/2016 9:10:52 PM)

1) If you are going to be an evil villain, never hire the minions
2) Do not travel with Tom Hanks
3) Never go looking for the ship's cat after encountering a crashed alien space craft
4) Never hide in a room with only one door
5) Never have sex when there is a serial killer on a rampage
6) Never touch the red button
7) Do not go into space with Bruce Willis
8) Do not get involved in rescuing Matt Damon
9) If you join star fleet do not choose the security career path
10) Never answer automated distress calls

While I enjoyed the Riddick movies, not sure I want to hang out with Riddick either.



Dvr22999874 -> RE: Things I have learned from watching movies (9/6/2016 11:23:39 PM)

Never sail on an unsinkable ship with DiCaprio



Bizay050 -> RE: Things I have learned from watching movies (9/7/2016 2:33:09 AM)

thank you very much master



DaddySatyr -> RE: Things I have learned from watching movies (9/7/2016 3:16:24 AM)


NEVER go fishing with a cop and a drunk.

NEVER continue carrying your knife/machete when you've just killed a guy with an automatic weapon (so the weapon is available for your use).

NEVER allow Sylvester Stallone access to your meat locker.

NEVER slow down and wait for the dumb bitch who refuses to remove her heels to run from the monster/bad guy.

Don't worry about jumping over things, during a car chase. You'll ALWAYS land correctly and NEVER "nose plant" your vehicle.

If Arnold Schwarzenegger says: "Come vit me if you vant to live.", arm yourself, immediately.

When Harrison Ford says: "I've got a funny feeling about this.", turn around, immediately.



Michael



WhoreMods -> RE: Things I have learned from watching movies (9/7/2016 6:45:48 AM)

That the protagonist of an action movie can outrun the fireball from an explosion so long as he's wearing a wifebeater or an unbuttoned shirt.
That gang members have magic automatic pistols that shoot straighter if they're held sideways.



WhoreMods -> RE: Things I have learned from watching movies (9/7/2016 8:26:10 AM)

That if a protagonist or anti-hero couldn't do something in act one, then they'll have learned that they can to do it (and probably could have done it back then as well) if they gurn hard enough.



jlf1961 -> RE: Things I have learned from watching movies (9/7/2016 9:30:24 AM)

Angelina Jolie can curve bullets
Aliens ALWAYS attack LA, DC and New York first (you would think that the people living there would move)
Sex with cheerleaders is always fatal when there is a serial killer is loose
Never, NEVER turn your back on the guy that seems to show up when there is absolutely no survivors anywhere to be found.
Never have a college get away weekend at a cabin in the woods in the middle of nowhere.
Airforce one on take off can outrun a fire storm generated by a total conversion explosion when no other aircraft can
The geeks that rebuild the crashed alien space craft always get the instructions on how to fly it wrong
The scruffy criminal/smuggler is always a good guy
The killer always needs one (or thirty) more bullet to kill him/her. and it has to be a head shot (dont matter if you emptied all but one of the rounds in the mag center mass at point blank range)
The ambush is always where you (the watcher of the movie) expects it but the combat vets dont



Baldrick -> RE: Things I have learned from watching movies (9/7/2016 9:33:31 AM)

You never EVER get out of the car



jlf1961 -> RE: Things I have learned from watching movies (9/7/2016 9:40:26 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Baldrick

You never EVER get out of the car


You never get into the car in the first place



blnymph -> RE: Things I have learned from watching movies (9/7/2016 10:08:52 AM)

The most evil guy speaks the best English (unless he is labeled Italian, or nazi Jerry, in this case most of his text is "Schweinhund" which is btw no German word at all)

When the bullets are fired you throw the gun away (unless you are Angelina)

Girls always yell at highest pitch, and again, and again, when they see the monster (no they don't but scripts seem to be paid by lines)






WhoreMods -> RE: Things I have learned from watching movies (9/7/2016 10:21:28 AM)

Murderers always wear black leather gloves if they're killing people in Italy.
Ballet schools in Germany and art deco building anywhere are far more dangerous than nuclear plants.
Found film footage of cannibals torturing people to death will not end up on youtube.
The hero of a film is either the best or the worst dancer in the nightclub. Villains never dance. Heroines never stop dancing until they're physically dragged out of the disco.



blnymph -> RE: Things I have learned from watching movies (9/7/2016 10:24:32 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: WhoreMods

Murderers always wear black leather gloves if they're killing people in Italy.

... and sunglasses, especially at night.



WhoreMods -> RE: Things I have learned from watching movies (9/7/2016 10:30:55 AM)

[:D]
Forgot that.



WhoreMods -> RE: Things I have learned from watching movies (9/7/2016 10:35:44 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: jlf1961


quote:

ORIGINAL: Baldrick

You never EVER get out of the car


You never get into the car in the first place

You don't let Rutger Hauer into your car if he's trying to thumb a lift.



Baldrick -> RE: Things I have learned from watching movies (9/7/2016 10:43:35 AM)

When I was in the navy we watched The Hitcher..... When Rutger Hauer got hit buy the car... everyone learned forward..... Don't get out the car man.. C Thomas Howell opened the door... Everyone at back, saying Man he got out the car..



WhoreMods -> RE: Things I have learned from watching movies (9/7/2016 11:01:11 AM)

I thought the "you never get out of the car" thing was that one.
[:D]



catize -> RE: Things I have learned from watching movies (9/7/2016 11:29:24 AM)

The villain always gets caught because he/she can't STFU they go into a long winded explanation of their nefarious plan, giving the good guy or gal time to escape or help to arrive.



WhoreMods -> RE: Things I have learned from watching movies (9/7/2016 11:32:00 AM)

James Bond doesn't need to waste money on prophylactics: somebody will kill whoever he's been shagging before the end of the film.



jlf1961 -> RE: Things I have learned from watching movies (9/7/2016 1:42:45 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: WhoreMods

James Bond doesn't need to waste money on prophylactics: somebody will kill whoever he's been shagging before the end of the film.



Shagging? Really?

Anyway, some of the Bond girls have lived at the end of the movie, which brings up the point, that man must have one hell of a child support bill or he was sterile to begin with.


And to continue with lessons

The hero will always pulls some plan out of his ass while under fire, underwater, about to be eaten by a shark, or killed in some equally gruesome manner that will actually work (even though any one with scuba training knows that air tanks do not explode, they just vent violently when punctured.)



WhoreMods -> RE: Things I have learned from watching movies (9/7/2016 1:55:26 PM)

I know it was a '50s dance over there, but it's a polite way of referring to the vertical slam dance on this side of the pond.



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