Why do you think?

Why do you think? (Full Version)

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MistressAubreee -> Why do you think? (9/13/2016 10:09:51 PM)
Why do you think the FinDom community is so taboo in the BDSM community? Please be respectful.

Gauge -> RE: Why do you think? (9/13/2016 10:15:08 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MistressAubreee Why do you think the FinDom community is so taboo in the BDSM community? Please be respectful. From my point of view, the financial dominants that I have encountered that it is just simply an aspect of their role as a dominant, it is just something that they do in addition to their role, don't post looking for financial submissives. All others, that post for 'pay pigs' are bullshit. The folks that cry out that they are something special, usually are not, and are just looking for money... no different if they were from Nigeria.

ThatDizzyChick -> RE: Why do you think? (9/13/2016 10:16:54 PM)
Yeah, what the cute guy said

Gauge -> RE: Why do you think? (9/13/2016 10:32:55 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ThatDizzyChick Yeah, what the cute guy said Jebus... did you just call me cute? Sister, you need glasses. [:D]

LilJuly76 -> RE: Why do you think? (9/14/2016 3:25:45 AM)
I was about to say the same thing but regardless Mr. you are right in regards to your response. anywho you know I was jk right?

Greta75 -> RE: Why do you think? (9/14/2016 3:27:32 AM)
It has nothing to do with FinDoms, but with men. Even in the vanilla world. There will be men who accuse women of being whores, if they allow a man to pay for their meal. So FinDoms should just worry about their client tel who appreciate them and not worry about the rest of bitter submissive males who can't get a domme through regular ways but then bitch and get angry about having to pay. To me, people who are happy in their own relationships, have no time to bother and get mad about women who charge for sexual services.

Bhruic -> RE: Why do you think? (9/14/2016 6:48:27 AM)
Because avarice has a worse reputation in society than does lust.

bondageerone -> RE: Why do you think? (9/14/2016 7:00:51 AM)
you are a stupid lowlife hooker, you will probably end up, working for a pimp. but since you are only 22, get out of it, there is no such thing as easy money. xx Terri.

UllrsIshtar -> RE: Why do you think? (9/14/2016 7:57:53 AM)
Because 99.9999999% of "FinDommes" aren't dominant. They're greedy and they have the delusion that claiming you're a "FinDomme" is going to get you something for nothing (which never happens, actual domination -financial or otherwise- is a lot of work. And people just plainly don't like hypocrites and posers misappropriating labels for personal gain, because it dilutes the meaning of the original label.

YourSincereSlave -> RE: Why do you think? (9/14/2016 9:10:33 AM)
Well, someone didn't read the "Please be respectful" part... Financial domination in the sense that the domme has last word on how the sub spends his money actually sounds like a fun (and smart, for a sub who has trouble maintaining a budget) sort of power exchange. However I have never actually seen this kind of findomme on any site. All I've ever seen is the "gimme yo money, yo worthless pig" type.s Needless to say, this doesn't sound like someone deserving of respect.

UllrsIshtar -> RE: Why do you think? (9/14/2016 9:43:16 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: YourSincereSlave Financial domination in the sense that the domme has last word on how the sub spends his money actually sounds like a fun (and smart, for a sub who has trouble maintaining a budget) sort of power exchange. I'm in that kind of financial domination relationship with my current (live-in) slave girl. Her paycheck goes into a joint bank account between my husband and I. She has no access to it. She is not allowed to spend as much as a penny without prior permission. She is expected to turn in receipts for any and all expenses made, no matter how small. Her money is managed by us in such a way that her monthly saving has doubled, and her 401K contribution is now maxed out, the rest of her paycheck goes towards household expenses, and our savings (everybody in the household is now saving more because we've got 50% more income). But she doesn't know this, for all she knows we could be splurging it all. I've been in the same kind of arrangement in online relationship as well... managing a slave's finances online towards improvement and repaying debts, while skimming some of the top for myself, but I stopped doing it as it takes far too much time to manage somebody's finances remotely. If you're responsible about financial domination (in which the 'responsible' part ought to be implied by the 'domination' part) it's never ever worth doing just for the money, as it usually pays far less than minimum wage when you factor in how much time goes into it, and factor in the amount of disposable income most people have left after you've managed their necessary expenses (which includes savings and retirement accounts). You have to actually be doing it because controlling somebody else -through finances or whatever- is it's own reward... which isn't the case for 99.9999999% of the so called "FinDommes" out there.

OsideGirl -> RE: Why do you think? (9/14/2016 10:18:52 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MistressAubreee Why do you think the FinDom community is so taboo in the BDSM community? Please be respectful. Because the "FinDommes" aren't Dominant. They're just women that have figured out that ratio of men to women means that the men are desperate enough to fall for it. That doesn't mean that Financial Domination doesn't or can't exist within a power dynamic. But, a Dominant takes responsibility for the submissive within a power dynamic. What these women are doing isn't a power dynamic, it's an extortion. They only care about themselves. (think about it...the revolving door of accounts that 99% of these women have prove they're scammers) I'll also add that there are a couple of women on these forums that I think actually are Financial Dominants and they do it well. I'll close with - it's not a fetish to have someone give you cash or buy you things - it doesn't meet the definition.

Danemora -> RE: Why do you think? (9/14/2016 10:20:22 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: YourSincereSlave Well, someone didn't read the "Please be respectful" part... Financial domination in the sense that the domme has last word on how the sub spends his money actually sounds like a fun (and smart, for a sub who has trouble maintaining a budget) sort of power exchange. However I have never actually seen this kind of findomme on any site. All I've ever seen is the "gimme yo money, yo worthless pig" type.s Needless to say, this doesn't sound like someone deserving of respect. Not everyone is the "gimme yo money, you worthless pig" type. It's the type most often complained about, but not all are this way. You identify as a slave, right? If I'm misremembering your screen name as I type this, I apologize ahead of time. Now there are some great slaves out there. But there are also some leeches out there who suck onto the concept of being a "slave" to someone as a way of getting a free ride in life. And of course there are those "do me" type slaves too. So because there are some negative types wearing the "slave" label, does that make all of you who identify as slaves negative types too? Pretty unfair if you have to get stuck wearing the same muck as those bad apples in the bunch, isn't it? Same can be said for financial dominants. Some are "fuck you, pay me" leeches and some are growing their slave's financial future nest egg. Good and bad...night and day difference. Just saying

Alecta -> RE: Why do you think? (9/14/2016 10:32:25 AM)
Financial Domination is taboo because it cuts too close to real power for most people, and because we do not have a perfect BDSM community. We exist in a culture where power and success is measured universally by wealth. No matter what our personal individual beliefs, this affects all of us in a deep and real way. In a genuine vanilla relationships, your money and their money become your shared money when you start tying your future with them genuinely. When you start feeling insecure or contemplating separation, you start hoarding your own money away from their money. There is no clearer common indication of how we actually value money than this. It is control, and trust, and power- the ability to own ourselves and determine our own fates. We can claim that is not the case, but in most cases that would be a lie. For most people, power exchange is anywhere from a game to a shirking of responsibilities they don't want to maintain. Most people think of a TPE to be where the other person gets to be in charge and take care of everything and every decision, and is responsible for telling me what they want and what to do to keep him/her happy (so I don't have to think about it), and therefore want that experience, often without consideration of who they will share that experience with (this is what we might call the Fantasy). -- The power they think of in the BDSM realm isn't real power, it doesn't have the same acute power over their fears and self-worth as money does. Having to consider actual financial ramifications breaks the fantasy and actually threatens their sense of control, more than any imagined act of degradation or torture. And sadly, the grand majority of people wearing the BDSM badge are just here to indulge a fantasy, and how dare you break that fantasy by making them think about the possibility! In an ideal BDSM community, nothing is taboo, only whether you want it or not. There are people who desire to be financially ruined by another, and people who desire to financially ruin others. There are those who enjoy giving money to others to show their regard, and people who enjoy receiving such money. There are people who enjoy being "forced" to give up their money, and those who enjoy seeing their money wasted by spiteful children. In the ideal BDSM community, people would simply decline their interest with YKINMK. But unfortunately, like all other communities, it is full of loud, self-important characters who believe that their ways and beliefs are the One True Way and how dare anyone go against that.....

WhoreMods -> RE: Why do you think? (9/14/2016 10:35:13 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MistressAubreee Why do you think the FinDom community is so taboo in the BDSM community? Please be respectful. That's a misprision of the word "taboo", which implies something that's frightening and transgressive, and considered by many exciting because of this. I don't think this is a term that can be applied to paying some snotty little freeloading who thinks that pretending her shit doesn't stink and carrying on like a preschooler throwing a tantrum makes her look dominant rather than pathetic. The word you're looking for is probably either "scorned" or "ridiculed". Those are both a lot more accurate to describe a lot of the findommes in here. (Not much to add to Gauge's initial demolition beside nit picking, really...)

sloguy02246 -> RE: Why do you think? (9/14/2016 10:59:45 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar quote: ORIGINAL: YourSincereSlave Financial domination in the sense that the domme has last word on how the sub spends his money actually sounds like a fun (and smart, for a sub who has trouble maintaining a budget) sort of power exchange. I'm in that kind of financial domination relationship with my current (live-in) slave girl. Her paycheck goes into a joint bank account between my husband and I. She has no access to it. She is not allowed to spend as much as a penny without prior permission. She is expected to turn in receipts for any and all expenses made, no matter how small. Her money is managed by us in such a way that her monthly saving has doubled, and her 401K contribution is now maxed out, the rest of her paycheck goes towards household expenses, and our savings (everybody in the household is now saving more because we've got 50% more income). But she doesn't know this, for all she knows we could be splurging it all. I've been in the same kind of arrangement in online relationship as well... managing a slave's finances online towards improvement and repaying debts, while skimming some of the top for myself, but I stopped doing it as it takes far too much time to manage somebody's finances remotely. If you're responsible about financial domination (in which the 'responsible' part ought to be implied by the 'domination' part) it's never ever worth doing just for the money, as it usually pays far less than minimum wage when you factor in how much time goes into it, and factor in the amount of disposable income most people have left after you've managed their necessary expenses (which includes savings and retirement accounts). You have to actually be doing it because controlling somebody else -through finances or whatever- is it's own reward... which isn't the case for 99.9999999% of the so called "FinDommes" out there. Is this correct? You are taking part of her income for "household expenses" and "our savings," "But she doesn't know this..." ? Are you saying that you are taking part of her income and putting it into your bank account without her knowledge?

UllrsIshtar -> RE: Why do you think? (9/14/2016 11:25:34 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sloguy02246 quote: ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar quote: ORIGINAL: YourSincereSlave Financial domination in the sense that the domme has last word on how the sub spends his money actually sounds like a fun (and smart, for a sub who has trouble maintaining a budget) sort of power exchange. I'm in that kind of financial domination relationship with my current (live-in) slave girl. Her paycheck goes into a joint bank account between my husband and I. She has no access to it. She is not allowed to spend as much as a penny without prior permission. She is expected to turn in receipts for any and all expenses made, no matter how small. Her money is managed by us in such a way that her monthly saving has doubled, and her 401K contribution is now maxed out, the rest of her paycheck goes towards household expenses, and our savings (everybody in the household is now saving more because we've got 50% more income). But she doesn't know this, for all she knows we could be splurging it all. I've been in the same kind of arrangement in online relationship as well... managing a slave's finances online towards improvement and repaying debts, while skimming some of the top for myself, but I stopped doing it as it takes far too much time to manage somebody's finances remotely. If you're responsible about financial domination (in which the 'responsible' part ought to be implied by the 'domination' part) it's never ever worth doing just for the money, as it usually pays far less than minimum wage when you factor in how much time goes into it, and factor in the amount of disposable income most people have left after you've managed their necessary expenses (which includes savings and retirement accounts). You have to actually be doing it because controlling somebody else -through finances or whatever- is it's own reward... which isn't the case for 99.9999999% of the so called "FinDommes" out there. Is this correct? You are taking part of her income for "household expenses" and "our savings," "But she doesn't know this..." ? Are you saying that you are taking part of her income and putting it into your bank account without her knowledge? No. ALL of her income goes into our (the household's bank account). That's the same bank account my husband's income deposits into, and the same bank account my funds deposit into. From there, my husband and I decide how to distributed the funds available. Some of them go into a savings account set aside for us (my husband and I) some of it goes into a savings account set aside for her (which is still in my husband's and my name) and some of it gets spent on whatever monthly expenses the household has (insurance, food, bills, recreational, etc). She has no idea which money gets allocated to what. Thus, she has no idea that the savings she had before moving in with us have doubled in the last 6 months. She also has no idea that her 401k contribution has been increased. She also has no idea that my husband's and my monthly savings have increased by 15% since she moved in. In a few years, if the relationship continues to go steady, the distinction between 'our savings account' and 'savings account set aside for her in case of a breakup' will be abandoned and everything will be put into one communal pot. For now the distinction is kept solely because of how new the relationship is (about 6 months now) and because in the event that things don't work out, it's easier to again separate the finances this way. All she knows is that she signed to have her paycheck go into our bank-account via an automatic monthly deposit every month. What's done with the money, or what has been done with the little savings she had when moving in, or what has been done with her 401k, she has no idea of. She's completely signed over the running and managing of her finances to my husband and I. THAT is financial domination.

ThatDizzyChick -> RE: Why do you think? (9/14/2016 11:32:21 AM)
quote: Financial domination in the sense that the domme has last word on how the sub spends his money actually sounds like a fun (and smart, for a sub who has trouble maintaining a budget) sort of power exchange. I'm in that sort of arrangement, but I (the sub) is the one who makes the budget and financial decisions.

mizuno -> RE: Why do you think? (9/14/2016 11:53:45 AM)
i think part of it is that the transfer of money is literally the ONLY interaction a lot of financial 'dominants' want. Hide it under the name tribute all you want, but if that is the only action happening, then this is clearly not an exchange, like EVERY OTHER aspect of BDSM. even TPE relationships, there is an exchange, a dominant is taking responsibility in addition to control, the positive and the negative, gaining service and interaction and freedom to explore desires. This is a key component that it feels like most forget these days. EDIT: There's also the fact that money, while literally being just a lubricant with no inherent value, is considered way too valuable and necessary for living, even just surviving. Add in that we are in a still-bad recession, where the lower are still struggling and only the really high up, who didn't need recovery, are getting it, the rising costs of said survival, and so on, and you have fin'dom's being essentially bloodsuckers of the worst degree.

Gauge -> RE: Why do you think? (9/14/2016 6:25:57 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Alecta Financial Domination is taboo because it cuts too close to real power for most people, and because we do not have a perfect BDSM community. Bullshit. Financial dominants that advertise for 'pay pigs' are folks who just learned a few BDSM terms and have no idea what BDSM really involves. They are why Financial Domination gets a bad rap. quote: We exist in a culture where power and success is measured universally by wealth. No matter what our personal individual beliefs, this affects all of us in a deep and real way. In a genuine vanilla relationships, your money and their money become your shared money when you start tying your future with them genuinely. When you start feeling insecure or contemplating separation, you start hoarding your own money away from their money. There is no clearer common indication of how we actually value money than this. It is control, and trust, and power- the ability to own ourselves and determine our own fates. We can claim that is not the case, but in most cases that would be a lie. What hogwash. quote: For most people, power exchange is anywhere from a game to a shirking of responsibilities they don't want to maintain. You obviously do not understand power exchange, and how it relates to BDSM, if this is how you would describe it. quote: Most people think of a TPE to be where the other person gets to be in charge and take care of everything and every decision, and is responsible for telling me what they want and what to do to keep him/her happy (so I don't have to think about it), and therefore want that experience, often without consideration of who they will share that experience with (this is what we might call the Fantasy). I've read this 5 times and I am still not understanding what you are saying. quote: The power they think of in the BDSM realm isn't real power, it doesn't have the same acute power over their fears and self-worth as money does. Having to consider actual financial ramifications breaks the fantasy and actually threatens their sense of control, more than any imagined act of degradation or torture. Ridiculous. Money has fuckall to do with BDSM relative to power over fears and self-worth. In fact, some people deal with their fears and self-worth within their particular dynamic. So, which do you think is more powerful? All money can do is buy a good therapist, the BDSM dynamic that helps people cope with their self-worth and their fears, is something that is deeply personal, and money cannot buy that. quote: And sadly, the grand majority of people wearing the BDSM badge are just here to indulge a fantasy, and how dare you break that fantasy by making them think about the possibility! The 'grand majority'? You are out of your tree. You make it sound like all BDSM is is fantasy fulfillment. While some of that may be true, those that practice this lifestyle in their daily lives make it a reality, not a fantasy. quote: In an ideal BDSM community, nothing is taboo, only whether you want it or not. There is plenty that is taboo in the BDSM community. Don't go down the road of "Just because it isn't your kink, doesn't make it wrong." and use that as an excuse. All you have to do is read the terms of service here to understand what is not, legally allowed. I do not understand how calling these financial dominants, that advertise, 'scammers' is wrong. I've talked with a few of these people on these boards, to a fault, most every one, when challenged to describe what power exchange is, they couldn't do it. They just flap about how taking someones money for their own use gets them off. If that is the case, they would get the same sexual thrill if they sold their car to someone, or if they got a birthday card with money in it, and they do not get that thrill. So, it is not technically a fetish according to the definition. quote: There are people who desire to be financially ruined by another, and people who desire to financially ruin others. That is not financial domination. Ask the ones who do it in their daily lives, face to face. They will tell you what it is, and it isn't ruining someone. quote: There are those who enjoy giving money to others to show their regard, and people who enjoy receiving such money. There are people who enjoy being "forced" to give up their money, and those who enjoy seeing their money wasted by spiteful children. While that may be, it still doesn't legitimize the Pay Princesses. quote: In the ideal BDSM community, people would simply decline their interest with YKINMK. But unfortunately, like all other communities, it is full of loud, self-important characters who believe that their ways and beliefs are the One True Way and how dare anyone go against that..... You are quite full of yourself, aren't you? I am about as far away from a "One Twue Wayer" that I could possibly be, I'll accept pretty much any legitimate, and legal kink or fetish under the sun... because I understand the lifestyle. I've described a bit about why the Pay Princesses are full of shit. Those that send them money have more money than sense, but if they get their rocks off, fine... but within the confines and definitions of fetish and kink, Pay Princesses don't fit those definitions. Edited for clarity.

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