RE: A Dom that lets his alpha sub change his mind (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive



Message

DarkSteven -> RE: A Dom that lets his alpha sub change his mind (9/17/2016 10:03:18 AM)

Very situational.



tamaka -> RE: A Dom that lets his alpha sub change his mind (9/17/2016 10:13:08 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ThatDizzyChick

quote:

he wouldn't be the right Dom/Master for me.

The "for me" is the key point here. Me, I want a dominant who listens to me



Listens to you... well yes, i agree if he asks for my thoughts on a matter or if i ask for permission to share my thoughts about something and he grants it. But i think there is a line that can be crossed where the sub starts trying to 'Top from the bottom'. If i felt i had to do that i couldn't be with that dom because why would i be in a tpe or even D/s relationship with someone that causes me to feel like i have to do his thinking for him?



ThatDizzyChick -> RE: A Dom that lets his alpha sub change his mind (9/17/2016 10:29:01 AM)

That's you, others may have different criteria. I'm smarter than either of my fellas, so yeah they better pay attention when I tell them something.



DaddySatyr -> RE: A Dom that lets his alpha sub change his mind (9/17/2016 10:31:53 AM)


I avoid any submissive that uses the descriptor "alpha". I'm not quite sure I understand the meaning other than the obvious, but that is of little consequence. There's room for only one alpha anything in my house.

That said, I guess I come down on the side of: "That's what you get for having an 'alpha' submissive in your house or life." So, no sympathy for the "dominant".



Michael



Greatlilbabygirl -> RE: A Dom that lets his alpha sub change his mind (9/17/2016 10:55:20 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LilJuly76

you take things so personal all the time, drives me nuts. If you notice most people's posts to whoever leaves the original post, they add more then just a one word answer, they leave their thoughts and sometimes recommendations, people can think about things more that way and process it at their leisure, what they do with the information is up to them.

K



tamaka -> RE: A Dom that lets his alpha sub change his mind (9/17/2016 11:12:22 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL:

. By listening to her advice, he stops thinking with his dick and re-engages his brain.




What a condescending thing to say. Geeze...



fluffygiggler -> RE: A Dom that lets his alpha sub change his mind (9/17/2016 11:47:37 AM)

Some examples being:

Example 1
Dom: go do dishes.
sub: I think she should kneel more.
Dom: Nevermind. Dishes can wait awhile longer.

Example 2
Dom: You are dismissed.
Sub: But she hasn't received punishment yet.
Dom: I take that back. Stay.

Example 3:
Dom: Do 25 pushups
Sub: She should do 50
Dom: 50 it is

They are times where the change of direction isn't needed. They're not safety based, they're the little things.

These are not about me, I'm single, so please don't aim your responses as if I'm the sub in this situation.




Greatlilbabygirl -> RE: A Dom that lets his alpha sub change his mind (9/17/2016 11:58:00 AM)

Sounds like the sub has a Dom and a Domme. If it's not what she agreed to she needs to leave asap.



Gauge -> RE: A Dom that lets his alpha sub change his mind (9/17/2016 11:59:46 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: fluffygiggler

Some examples being:

Example 1
Dom: go do dishes.
sub: I think she should kneel more.
Dom: Nevermind. Dishes can wait awhile longer.



In this example, she would be doing dishes, and then I would decide how to handle her statement.

quote:

Example 2
Dom: You are dismissed.
Sub: But she hasn't received punishment yet.
Dom: I take that back. Stay.


In this case, I would remind her that I said she was dismissed and then proceed to ignoring her.

quote:


Example 3:
Dom: Do 25 pushups
Sub: She should do 50
Dom: 50 it is


In this example, I see nothing wrong with what the dominant did. However, I would handle it much differently. If this happened to me, I would triple her suggestion to 150 pushups and if she protested, I would let her know that when I say 25 pushups, I mean do 25 pushups.

quote:



They are times where the change of direction isn't needed. They're not safety based, they're the little things.



My opinion, the dominant is not getting his own wishes fulfilled, and if that is not happening, then he needs to toughen up. The submissive would not last long with me.

quote:

These are not about me, I'm single, so please don't aim your responses as if I'm the sub in this situation.


Thank you for making that clear.



DesFIP -> RE: A Dom that lets his alpha sub change his mind (9/17/2016 12:11:37 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: tamaka

I understand what you're saying but for me this would cause a problem if it happened too often. If my Master didn't have the ability to think through things, exercise good judgement and make good decisions on his own... if he needed her to help him to do this too often, he wouldn't be the right Dom/Master for me.



Would you also feel this way if he knew he had a weakness for junk food and gave her veto power over groceries?
Because I feel that recognizing your weakness and delegating the problem to someone with skills in an area you lack, is a good thing to do and he deserves credit for knowing that he can't do everything.



tamaka -> RE: A Dom that lets his alpha sub change his mind (9/17/2016 12:30:46 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP


quote:

ORIGINAL: tamaka

I understand what you're saying but for me this would cause a problem if it happened too often. If my Master didn't have the ability to think through things, exercise good judgement and make good decisions on his own... if he needed her to help him to do this too often, he wouldn't be the right Dom/Master for me.



Would you also feel this way if he knew he had a weakness for junk food and gave her veto power over groceries?
Because I feel that recognizing your weakness and delegating the problem to someone with skills in an area you lack, is a good thing to do and he deserves credit for knowing that he can't do everything.



i don't have a problem with Master delegating responsibilities, such as buying groceries, etc. But it is because He decides to do this as a way to serve Him. Not because He can't think and make good decisions Himself. And any "power" Master gives can be taken away anytime for any reason... so i would handle that patticular responsibility with the proper humility and honor... He entrusted me with something important.



ThatDizzyChick -> RE: A Dom that lets his alpha sub change his mind (9/17/2016 12:46:38 PM)

quote:

But it is because He decides to do this as a way to serve Him. Not because He can't think and make good decisions Himself.

Is not making the decisions he is bad at a way of serving him?



OsideGirl -> RE: A Dom that lets his alpha sub change his mind (9/17/2016 1:41:43 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: freedomdwarf1

It the tail wagging the dog syndrome.
He is no dominant in my book.



So, you think M isn't a Dominant?

Allow me to point out, that one of the strengths that I bring as M's submissive/wife is that I'm really good at logical solutions and the ramifications of decisions. (Degree in Psychology specializing in Relationship Counseling)

If I think M's decision is going to backfire or do damage to our relationship it is my JOB to present an opposing viewpoint. (and if it's going to damage our primary relationship - I have been given the right to veto)

That doesn't mean that he's going to do what I say. It means that he will listen to my viewpoint and will make a decision with that view point as a pro/con.

Since the OP is in a V relationship, she has no idea what the process between the Dom and Alpha was, other than what he told her.



WickedsDesire -> RE: A Dom that lets his alpha sub change his mind (9/17/2016 1:45:10 PM)

Those are your trois examples. I should beat you on the spot with a hoover



angelikaJ -> RE: A Dom that lets his alpha sub change his mind (9/17/2016 2:20:46 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: fluffygiggler

In a poly relationship, (a V relationship), would you want to stay in a Dom/sub relationship where your Dom would always change his order that he gave to you to what she says to do if the alpha sub disagreed with his initial order?

Just something I've seen, and want to hear opinions about the relationship.


Maybe he has granted her veto power pertaining to you but she is submissive to him?
In describing it as her being alpha, you are acknowledging that the relationship he has with her is not the same as the one he has with you.

You are portraying it as him being in the wrong when the real question is: Is this working for you?

It is your decision whether to stay or go.



tamaka -> RE: A Dom that lets his alpha sub change his mind (9/17/2016 2:49:16 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: ThatDizzyChick

quote:

But it is because He decides to do this as a way to serve Him. Not because He can't think and make good decisions Himself.

Is not making the decisions he is bad at a way of serving him?


Sure to a point... but for me if that extended into too many things that he needed me to make decisions on because he was bad at it after a while it would cause me to lose respect for him. Everyone is human and everyone has strengths and weaknesses but for me as an s i need my Dom to be someone i look up to. If i were putting him down saying how much smarter i was than he and how much better i am at making decisions than him i would be looking for someone else who i could look up to.



DesFIP -> RE: A Dom that lets his alpha sub change his mind (9/17/2016 3:55:42 PM)

If opie isn't the third, then how does she know about how they do the dishes? And why does she care about someone else's relationship?
Besides, the sample interactions given are not that of a D/s/s relationship. But of a D/D/s one. In which case the s should not have assumed that the Dom was the final authority over her. Since as it turned out, they've decided the Domme is.

Perhaps next time she will ask questions and negotiate for a relationship that fulfills her instead of assuming.



OsideGirl -> RE: A Dom that lets his alpha sub change his mind (9/17/2016 4:01:32 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: fluffygiggler


These are not about me, I'm single, so please don't aim your responses as if I'm the sub in this situation.




So, let me see if I understand this: You're getting this second hand from a disgruntled submissive...and think we should support your opinion.



OsideGirl -> RE: A Dom that lets his alpha sub change his mind (9/17/2016 4:03:48 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Greatlilbabygirl

Sounds like the sub has a Dom and a Domme. If it's not what she agreed to she needs to leave asap.

Nope. The term "alpha" sub implies that she is the leader over any other submissives that come into the relationship. Which means that she would be the one in control when the Dominant isn't present. So, the only way to play that card is if the sub in question didn't know he had an "alpha".



fluffygiggler -> RE: A Dom that lets his alpha sub change his mind (9/17/2016 4:59:37 PM)

I'm the friend of the submissive. I don't know what to tell her, so I turned to the forums.
She isn't interested in this site, which is why she is not asking herself.

She has let me see her journals, which is why I know small details like how dishes are done.

I haven't stated my opinion about the situation.
quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl


quote:

ORIGINAL: fluffygiggler


These are not about me, I'm single, so please don't aim your responses as if I'm the sub in this situation.




So, let me see if I understand this: You're getting this second hand from a disgruntled submissive...and think we should support your opinion.





Page: <<   < prev  1 [2] 3 4 5   next >   >>

Valid CSS!




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy
0.046875