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More than one mistress at a time? - 9/18/2016 11:49:34 AM   
PaulWG


Posts: 12
Joined: 9/15/2016
Status: offline 		How come some mistress' will tell you that they don't want you to see any other mistress besides them? I understand it if the relationship is romantic but if it's not romantic then why do they care so much if you see another mistress? I've heard of mistress' dropping their slaves because they saw someone else even though the relationship wasn't romantic and they even told the slave "I'm not your girlfriend" in the very beginning.

< Message edited by PaulWG -- 9/18/2016 11:52:39 AM >
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RE: More than one mistress at a time? - 9/18/2016 11:58:55 AM   
Greatlilbabygirl


Posts: 786
Joined: 9/9/2016
Status: offline 		If you agreed to not see any others but did anyway then you violated the terms of the original negotiated arrangement and the Mistress in question has every right to drop you. If you were honest from the start and established that you were going to see others and the Mistress agreed then this wouldn't be an issue. Don't lie, problem solved.

(in reply to PaulWG)
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RE: More than one mistress at a time? - 9/18/2016 11:59:39 AM   
Lucylastic


Posts: 40310
Status: offline 		If you cant follow her orders/desires/wishes, she is not your mistress

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RE: More than one mistress at a time? - 9/18/2016 12:09:39 PM   
Alecta


Posts: 1355
Joined: 1/19/2010
Status: offline 		It's about respect and focus. As a slave, you're supposed to be focused on them. If you're out there looking for other women to fulfil your needs without her permission, you are disrespecting them and clearly not focused on them.

Consider also, some jobs do not allow you to have any other jobs for similar reasons. They don't want your focus to be divided.

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RE: More than one mistress at a time? - 9/18/2016 1:08:14 PM   
LilJuly76


Posts: 1245
Joined: 1/9/2016
Status: offline 		have to agree with Alecta.

if you want more than one Mistress maybe try being poly? I don't know the answer to your needs.

(in reply to PaulWG)
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RE: More than one mistress at a time? - 9/18/2016 3:23:56 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Alecta

It's about respect and focus. As a slave, you're supposed to be focused on them. If you're out there looking for other women to fulfil your needs without her permission, you are disrespecting them and clearly not focused on them.

Consider also, some jobs do not allow you to have any other jobs for similar reasons. They don't want your focus to be divided.

It's also something else. Conflicting orders and philosophies. Complete control.

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RE: More than one mistress at a time? - 9/18/2016 4:37:54 PM   
NookieNotes


Posts: 1720
Joined: 11/10/2013
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: Alecta

It's about respect and focus. As a slave, you're supposed to be focused on them. If you're out there looking for other women to fulfil your needs without her permission, you are disrespecting them and clearly not focused on them.

Consider also, some jobs do not allow you to have any other jobs for similar reasons. They don't want your focus to be divided.

It's also something else. Conflicting orders and philosophies. Complete control.


This.

It's the same reason I have never ever taken a submissive a friend of mine has had a deep D/s relationship with. I don't want to feel what I would feel correcting poor training after another with someone I love and respect.

I'm kind of a snob like that.

Better to avoid it altogether.


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RE: More than one mistress at a time? - 9/18/2016 5:02:50 PM   
longwayhome


Posts: 1035
Joined: 1/9/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PaulWG

How come some mistress' will tell you that they don't want you to see any other mistress besides them? I understand it if the relationship is romantic but if it's not romantic then why do they care so much if you see another mistress? I've heard of mistress' dropping their slaves because they saw someone else even though the relationship wasn't romantic and they even told the slave "I'm not your girlfriend" in the very beginning.


As with any relationship, it's all down to the contract you have. If you agree to be exclusive, not being exclusive is breaking the contract. That's not complicated really.

I get the implied but unspoken question here which is the possible hypocrisy involved in expecting someone to be exclusive when you have no intentions of being exclusive yourself. Well perhaps, but if you're not happy with the dynamic, don't sign up. The other thing your post potentially implies is that there is one correct or accepted way for Dom/mes and subs to relate to each other. Once again if you're not happy with the dynamic, don't sign up.

From a practical point of view Dom/mes who like to have more than one submissive but expect complete exclusivity and focus from each sub are pretty explicit up front, so I'm not sure there is really much of an issue here. As long as it's open and honest, people can choose what works for them. Many subs specifically want to focus on one Dom/me and are turned on is all sorts of ways by the fact that their Dom/me enjoys sexual pleasure with others. Some only accept this if they are present or are the 'primary', for others that is less important.

No-one is holding a gun to anyone's head. It's all down to being honest about your emotional needs and clear about what agreement you make. If you break the agreement (by doing something without renegotiation) then someone reacting by ending their connection with you is perfectly natural.

If you are looking for someone who likes to play without any relationship expectations, or for whom the moment is more important than the ongoing dynamic, then you should be explicit. Being non-exclusive and romantic are not of course mutually exclusive, depending on your dynamic.

There is no one correct way of connecting with your partner(s), just the right way for you and her/him/them. Of course transgressing without prior agreement puts the relationship at risk. That shouldn't really be a surprise.

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RE: More than one mistress at a time? - 9/19/2016 8:29:59 AM   
Diffident


Posts: 163
Joined: 7/12/2016
Status: offline 		Purely Vanilla women also tend to react badly to a man who chats up every woman in the bar. I would guess that many sub women would feel that same about unpicky Doms. Choosing Her is part of what makes you attractive to her in the first place, just as choosing you would make her more attractive to you. Being a slut for any woman with a cane and a killer set of heels would sort of spoil that.

Plus what everyone else in the thread has said so far.

A woman who states upfront her expectations about the openness vs exclusivity of the relationship to come is doing you a favour, whether you like what she has to say about it or not, as it is a pretty important thing to consider in any negotiation for anything that is expected to last for more than once only. Miscommunication here can lead to all sorts of very unkinky unplesantness further down the road.

(in reply to longwayhome)
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RE: More than one mistress at a time? - 9/19/2016 8:55:04 AM   
HoneyBears


Posts: 337
Joined: 11/5/2013
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		What I really wanted to advise is that no man can serve two masters.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Alecta

Consider also, some jobs do not allow you to have any other jobs for similar reasons. They don't want your focus to be divided.

If your Mistress is not your Owner, then she is not your Mistress.

If your Owner has collared you, then you are her property. You are no longer a free agent.

She is not, however, your property because then that would make you her Owner or Master. Got it?

Some Mistresses will agree to share ownership, or co-own a sub with another Domme as your part-time Mistress.
All three of you would need to be on board with this kind of time-sharing arrangement.
BTW, if you are married, then your Mistress is already sharing ownership of you, and it should be with your wife's permission, not by going behind your partner(s)' back(s).

-- Lisa

[Edited for typo]

< Message edited by HoneyBears -- 9/19/2016 9:10:45 AM >

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RE: More than one mistress at a time? - 9/19/2016 9:51:14 AM   
WickedsDesire


Posts: 9362
Joined: 11/4/2015
Status: offline 		I heard the moon orbited around my cck, and not the planet earth But I just made that up a few years when I was smashed on chardonnay

Mistress you would have to define what you mean by that word:
Someone you give money, or gifts, too.
Someone who is already happily/sadly married.
An online anyone of the above
Someone single and looking for friends, or love etc

I hear/read a lot of stuff online and I don’t doubt for a second some of it true, other things not so much for a stench of malarkey usually follows the latter.

Personally I think people already in relationships/poly/cheating are usually the most controlling but that has nothing to do with the question you asked, least not in the format you asked.

But peoples profiles should say, or they should say to each other and that’s pretty much all you can ask for.

In the way you meant your question it would entirely be up to both of you or one accepting the other

(in reply to HoneyBears)
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RE: More than one mistress at a time? - 9/30/2016 4:01:45 AM   
veronicaboundcd


Posts: 101
Joined: 1/4/2005
Status: offline 		To me, life is a series of trade-offs, and that can be applied here. If you are looking for play, and only play on its own, then you could play with as many Mistresses as you can find. However, if you want to really feel what it's like to have a Mistress who is willing to go well beyond the "casual play" status, then She can't give you that complete experience without some devotion in return. From my point of view and experiences, having more than one would take away from what you had with them all, as the process of being dominated by a woman long-term is complex, with rewards and tears that can only be achieved through dedication. It becomes a relationship that can be deeper than any vanilla pairing you will find. Playing with many Mistresses is certainly fun, but being truly dominated and totally devoted to one will change your life forever.

(in reply to WickedsDesire)
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RE: More than one mistress at a time? - 10/4/2016 5:52:19 PM   
Monty65


Posts: 1
Joined: 9/9/2016
Status: offline 		Actually, I was just recently bought and paid for by my Mistress Master. She would kill me if she knew I was commenting on here without her permission. She took ownership and yes, I'm deffinately not allowed a life outside of her presence. She has whipped me on my butt so bad in the past that she drew blood. I wouldn't have it any other way. I believe once a Master takes ownership or when a Dominitrix takes control. The slave/sub should not be allowed or on his/her will commit distrust by being involved with another. Just like infidelity against a husband/wife. I have sworn to literally to die at my masters command if she commands it. And I will willingly do it. No question. No hesitation. I love my Queen. You should do the same.

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RE: More than one mistress at a time? - 10/4/2016 6:03:25 PM   
tamaka


Posts: 5079
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Monty65

Actually, I was just recently bought and paid for by my Mistress Master. She would kill me if she knew I was commenting on here without her permission. She took ownership and yes, I'm deffinately not allowed a life outside of her presence. She has whipped me on my butt so bad in the past that she drew blood. I wouldn't have it any other way. I believe once a Master takes ownership or when a Dominitrix takes control. The slave/sub should not be allowed or on his/her will commit distrust by being involved with another. Just like infidelity against a husband/wife. I have sworn to literally to die at my masters command if she commands it. And I will willingly do it. No question. No hesitation. I love my Queen. You should do the same.


You are willing to die if she commands it but you can't possibly stop yourself from commenting here knowing she doesn't want you to without her permission? You are a joke.

(in reply to Monty65)
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RE: More than one mistress at a time? - 10/4/2016 6:19:07 PM   
stef


Posts: 10215
Joined: 1/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Monty65

Actually, I was just recently bought and paid for by my Mistress Master. She would kill me if she knew I was commenting on here without her permission. She took ownership and yes, I'm deffinately not allowed a life outside of her presence. She has whipped me on my butt so bad in the past that she drew blood. I wouldn't have it any other way. I believe once a Master takes ownership or when a Dominitrix takes control. The slave/sub should not be allowed or on his/her will commit distrust by being involved with another. Just like infidelity against a husband/wife. I have sworn to literally to die at my masters command if she commands it. And I will willingly do it. No question. No hesitation. I love my Queen. You should do the same.

You have an incredibly active imagination.

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RE: More than one mistress at a time? - 10/4/2016 7:50:18 PM   
Danemora


Posts: 752
Joined: 10/9/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Monty65

Actually, I was just recently bought and paid for by my Mistress Master. She would kill me if she knew I was commenting on here without her permission. She took ownership and yes, I'm deffinately not allowed a life outside of her presence. She has whipped me on my butt so bad in the past that she drew blood. I wouldn't have it any other way. I believe once a Master takes ownership or when a Dominitrix takes control. The slave/sub should not be allowed or on his/her will commit distrust by being involved with another. Just like infidelity against a husband/wife. I have sworn to literally to die at my masters command if she commands it. And I will willingly do it. No question. No hesitation. I love my Queen. You should do the same.


How'd you manage to type all that one handed while strangling the ol' trouser snake with with the other? Are you one of those ambidextrous types?


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RE: More than one mistress at a time? - 10/4/2016 11:24:22 PM   
YourSincereSlave


Posts: 82
Joined: 7/29/2016
Status: offline 		All I'm gonna say is... leave some for the others subs!

No, seriously... Think about it for a moment. The Mistress is the one giving orders. Can you imagine how complicated things could get if you had orders from more than 1 person and they got in each other's way?

(in reply to Danemora)
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RE: More than one mistress at a time? - 10/8/2016 5:20:12 AM   
heavyblinker


Posts: 3623
Status: offline 		I think others have already said it, but she tells you that she isn't your girlfriend because of the connotations of the word-- a traditional relationship where each person has a relatively equal role. If you are a sub/slave, then the roles are different... they are consensual, but unequal. And just because someone isn't your equal, it doesn't mean that they don't have the right to expect exclusivity on your part, even if they don't want it for themselves.

It seems to me that you think that anything outside of the girlfriend/boyfriend romance dynamic shouldn't be taken seriously.

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RE: More than one mistress at a time? - 10/8/2016 6:39:47 AM   
kiwisub22


Posts: 450
Joined: 7/16/2016
Status: offline 		OP, if what you have is casual play with a dominant woman, then she really isn't your mistress. She is a top.
And in this situation, I would say - play with as many women as you want.

if there is more to your relationship than just casual top/bottom, then you are cheating. See - easy!

(in reply to heavyblinker)
Profile   Post #: 19
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