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RE: It Seems Research Is Different Than Real Life? - 10/4/2016 4:21:16 PM

Kana

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quote:

ORIGINAL: WMDom26CA

I've read that men could view 50 female profiles, who are all within age and distance range, and be attracted to most all and send out emails. A woman could look at 50 male profiles, who are all within age and distance range, and not be attracted to any of them. I've also read that even though an attractive female could be hounded by 100's of men, she may not be attracted to any of them. I've read posts on this site saying the same thing. Even attractive women have a hard time meeting men because she may not be attracted to anyone who is "hitting" on her.

However, at the BDSM club I go to in Los Angeles, this just isn't true. It seems like most of the women are in relationships. The attractive women will only talk to attractive men and will snub anyone else. This is also true at the college I go to. Attractive women don't seem to have any problem meeting men and getting into relationships.

Does anyone else see the discrepancy between what research and posts say and real life?

Hah
Want to know who isn't single at the local BDSM club/group?
The sane rational owners that have a clue how to interact with others and what being a dominant really is.
Because, and this is just my humble opinion, the most attractive trait a man can possess is confidence.
Not being a jerk. Not being an asshat or stuck on himself. Certainly not being a narcissist.
But a man that is comfortable with who and what he is and in his own skin.
If he has a good rep in the community, then all the better

These guys, they ain't on the prowl.
They don't have to be.

Remember, attractive is more than just a purely physical thing, especially for the ladies
(Though don't let em lie. They are just as bad dogs as men are when it comes to hotties, they just do a better job of hiding it)
Be calm. Be confident. Smile. Make her laugh. Be positive. Lead with your best fucking foot.
Its just my humble opinion and all, but characteristics like these are what makes a man seem like a potential candidate.
But its far less looks than one might think.
That's how so many not so hot guys end up with smoking chicks.
I mean fuck, you know Billy Bob had to have game when he nabbed Angie :-)

Not to be a jerk, but who cares what research may or may not say. In the end, the only real research of value is how does this impact me and can I get the chicks I want or try to?
Not to be a jerk part two, but the way to get a chick is to be a man worth getting.
Can't change them, but sure can change self.
Just a thought

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RE: It Seems Research Is Different Than Real Life? - 10/4/2016 7:37:42 PM

DesFIP

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The other thing is that it's easy to meet people in college. You have six classes a day with fifty people in each.

After, it's a lot different. You work in a group of a dozen, and no smart person has sex with a coworker. You don't go home to a dorm filled with people and their friends, but to an empty apartment. It's harder for everyone to make friends and meet people once you leave school.

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RE: It Seems Research Is Different Than Real Life? - 10/4/2016 8:44:43 PM

Greta75

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana
Remember, attractive is more than just a purely physical thing, especially for the ladies
Be calm. Be confident. Smile. Make her laugh. Be positive. Lead with your best fucking foot.
Its just my humble opinion and all, but characteristics like these are what makes a man seem like a potential candidate.

This is just the absolute truth and I never believed just because you have good looks, you can easily get chicks for a man. For women it's the opposite. The greater you look, the more attention you get, but also alot of unwanted attention. May not be quality attention. More like quantity of annoying attention.

Because the really good confident men who are confident with good looking women, are looking for good looks and more than just that.

For a man. If you got the looks but without the personality or somewhat an attractive character. You're kinda screwed. I know someone like that. Unanimously, all my girlfriends think he is super hot. But then after you interact with him, the "hot" factor went down. Because, he was just dull with no personality. He doesn't mentally stimulate you. He might also just be a trophy boyfriend or a trophy fuck, to show off to your girlfriends, but then, that's temporary, and not for the right reasons.

But even if he is ugly, but has big personality, great character, just comfortable with himself and confident. I bet he will easily get hot chicks too. Usually my observation, this is true. And have woman notice him and be interested in him.

< Message edited by Greta75 -- 10/4/2016 8:47:44 PM >

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RE: It Seems Research Is Different Than Real Life? - 10/5/2016 3:24:29 PM

Kana

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quote:

The other thing is that it's easy to meet people in college. You have six classes a day with fifty people in each.

Oh man. I went back to college at thirty. Picture me surrounded by all those pretty ladies.
It was like being a lion let loose in a butcher shop.
I had so much fun.
It was fucking epic.

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RE: It Seems Research Is Different Than Real Life? - 10/5/2016 6:55:26 PM

Awareness

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quote:

ORIGINAL: WMDom26CA

I've read that men could view 50 female profiles, who are all within age and distance range, and be attracted to most all and send out emails.

That depends largely on how desperate they are.

Men who are desperate will hit on anything. Men who have options will have their own set of criteria.

quote:

A woman could look at 50 male profiles, who are all within age and distance range, and not be attracted to any of them.

Part of the problem is the self-selection bias inherent in an online community.

In an online environment, how you express yourself has a considerable influence on how others perceive you. However, the very men who best attract women in real life do so through social interaction, not command of the written word.

Those men who are lexically competent and expressive online are frequently nerds. And nerds have no fucking idea how to attract women. So it's something of a catch 22, in that respect.

quote:

I've also read that even though an attractive female could be hounded by 100's of men, she may not be attracted to any of them. I've read posts on this site saying the same thing. Even attractive women have a hard time meeting men because she may not be attracted to anyone who is "hitting" on her.

The more attractive a woman is, the more men she's had hitting on her. Over time that refines her radar when it comes to detecting the dominant social characteristics which form a major part of attraction.

quote:

However, at the BDSM club I go to in Los Angeles, this just isn't true. It seems like most of the women are in relationships. The attractive women will only talk to attractive men and will snub anyone else. This is also true at the college I go to. Attractive women don't seem to have any problem meeting men and getting into relationships.

Clubs and colleges are usually casual pickup joints. Unlike men - whose standards go down when they're just looking for sex - women just looking for casual sex tend to raise their standards when it comes to physical attractiveness.

quote:

Does anyone else see the discrepancy between what research and posts say and real life?

No. Science has demonstrated (rather recently in fact) that the longer two people know each other before hooking up, the greater the potential discrepancy in attractiveness. Other characteristics besides the physical are attractive, but that's not what really reels 'em in at a meat market.

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RE: It Seems Research Is Different Than Real Life? - 10/9/2016 1:24:36 PM

WickedsDesire

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Women are simply more shallow. If they got as much mail as the typical man gets on here which is zero times years they would all have left to pastures new.

On a personal I have never found a women on here to mail within your aforementioned parameters, not one ever. Population 5 million and I cannot chose from nothing

1/1000 peoples who ever join these sites ever attend 1 munch or club in their lifetime. So I am not actually sure what your point was/is or what mad waffle you have "read"

People presume because I am blessed with the looks and a mild case of complete insanity I get as many offers/mails as they do. many of the offers they get are no genuine. people simply get bored and look for someone decent to talk too.

It has been a long time since i was at a club 12 years perhaps. They are not pick up joints, unless things have changed (have they?) Any newbie attending man or women - simply has to mail the organisers and mention, or at the door. They will go out of their way to place you in a small group of friendlies.

Clubs I think the ratio was 3:1 men whenever I attended, and perhaps 25-50% were in relationships.

Genuine women are rare, this I know on eg this place....You can ask yourself why

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RE: It Seems Research Is Different Than Real Life? - 10/9/2016 3:20:26 PM

OsideGirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: WickedsDesire

Women are simply more shallow.

quote:

People presume because I am blessed with the looks

So women are shallow, but won't engage with you even though you're "blessed with the looks". You just contradicted yourself.

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RE: It Seems Research Is Different Than Real Life? - 10/9/2016 11:49:13 PM

DarkSteven

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Joined: 5/2/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: WMDom26CA

I've read that men could view 50 female profiles, who are all within age and distance range, and be attracted to most all and send out emails. A woman could look at 50 male profiles, who are all within age and distance range, and not be attracted to any of them. I've also read that even though an attractive female could be hounded by 100's of men, she may not be attracted to any of them. I've read posts on this site saying the same thing. Even attractive women have a hard time meeting men because she may not be attracted to anyone who is "hitting" on her.

However, at the BDSM club I go to in Los Angeles, this just isn't true. It seems like most of the women are in relationships. The attractive women will only talk to attractive men and will snub anyone else. This is also true at the college I go to. Attractive women don't seem to have any problem meeting men and getting into relationships.

Does anyone else see the discrepancy between what research and posts say and real life?

I wouldn't call investigating online to be "research". That said, the populations of people who are online and who attend events (and college) are not the same.

Online, I would estimate 30% or so of female profiles to be set up by scammers. Others are incompatible because they're lesbians, or Dommes. Finally, "sending out an email" is more involved than simply a formality before meeting. I can send out emails to women I'm completely incompatible with, and get a cheery conversation going with no romantic prospects.

Now, I would say that your discrepancies are due to several things.

1. Most of the messages a woman gets online are not worth responding to.

2. A lot of men's profiles are dismal.

3. The women and men that actually GO places tend IMO to be more relationship-oriented than those who stay behind a computer.

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RE: It Seems Research Is Different Than Real Life? - 10/10/2016 9:33:56 AM

MaryMaryProDom

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This is what I disagree about the OP.

I have friends who are "relationship prone" - they are "people's person" and always seem to be in a relationship. If that relationship ends then that person soon gets into another one. It doesn't matter how tall they are, how rich they are, or how good looking they are.
I get the sense that you are butt hurt because attractive women aren't noticing you and don't want to be in a relationship with you.

If a high school student excels in sports, or is incredibly smart, then all these colleges want him/her and offer scholarships. They roll out the red carpet. But if you're not as smart, or good in sports, these colleges "snub" you for the scholarships.

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