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collarmepls -> RE: How do you weed thru fakes?? (12/5/2004 4:50:16 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: BeachMystress
it has taught me that male subs will lie like crazy to get their submissive fix. And most of all, it has taught me there are way more wankers and trolls than subs.
Yes and Dommes as well certainly arent immune as that is the way it is on both sides of the collar as well. i have had female Dommes lie to me as well and on a few occasions expected me to buy a airline ticket just so they could get laid. LOL Not that i have anything whatsoever against sex it just seems to me they should hire a hooker or john or whatever they are called if thats what they want. Seems to me ratios and popularity are meaningless in the final analysis.
quote:
ORIGINAL: BeachMystress
it has taught me there are way more wankers and trolls than subs.
Likewise it has taught me the same about many self labeled superior Dommes unfortunately.
What have i done. Well i took my pic and profile off. That instantly eliminated 97% of them. The remaining 3% is dependant on my abilities to figure them out in their profile prior to writing to them and finally 1% of them have what it takes to create a successful environment for growth and longevity. Interestingly i have found that the greater majority of legitmate Dommes have no pic or profile at all.
What have i learned beyond that about fakes?
Well most want me to buy a ticket within the first 2 weeks of discovering they exist, most do not have time or inclination to invest in getting to know me, most have psychological and related unresolved issues, most want you to trust them right out of the box rather than allowing trust to develope, many only want to abuse me in some way like being Domme and abusive go hand in hand, (not), some have unrealistic and unsustainable ideals. oh and the ones that expect you to live in a cage, i love to ask them what kind of retirement plan i will have should something happen They go duh? Well you will be slave for life. Right!!! at least until they have a bad hair day!! LOL Which is to say they want you to throw all caution to the wind.
i categorize them all as fakes as the greater majority, (at least those i have had the pleasure of getting to know), label themselves a Domme as result of the personal issues they have and rather than fix themselves they prefer to inflict their unresolved problems on another in the name of "tru sub". yeh yeh (not this sub)
The best way i found to tell the difference in even the most well honed fake is as old as human dating. Simply insist on a "long courtship" as inconsistancies will come to the surface and show up usually within the first 20 to 60 hours of "verbal" contact. Then of course when you confront them on an issue that was not in line with what was originally said or implied you can watch the armed gaurds spring to life in their brain to gaurd their monster so it can rear its ugly head and how fast they evade, tell you that you dont understand, that you are not a "TRU" slave to "DARE" question them, or outright lie to you and say they never said it in the first place and a better one is when they change the definitions of the words LOL, and the slicker ones answer a question unclearly or not to your satisfaction and then when you ask them about it again they tell that "we already discussed this why do you keep bringing it up" to blow you off. and it just goes on and on and on and on lol
Its very difficult to "take your time" when they say all the right words trust me i know but i believe if you take your time regardless you may wind up like me and not have much action in your life but the people you ultimately do meet will be much more in line with your needs as well.
Of course if you only want to play then finding someone is much eaier as none of this matters in that case ;)
Here is an edited example of a profile composed by Mspurrmeow that attracted me as sincere and real with the hi probablity of long term success.
Are you an intelligent, articulate man or woman who can grok the concepts of strength in submission, the rewards of service, or the empowerment of consensual slavery? I believe a slave to be a powerful individual who is rewarded by their role, their loyalty, and their actions. The heart of a slave should be nurtured, and nourished. The mind of a slave should be led and directed, but not brainwashed. The unique value and perspectives that you bring into a relationship with me will be honored, while the relationship will grow in power exchange and mutual happiness.
A relationship with me is not one of cruelty, abuse or sexual hedonism. I will honor, respect, educate, direct and lead the right slave to the rewards of service and protocol. I will introduce them to the joys of S&M play and bondage, and we will venture forth in the areas where our interests overlap.
I am a practical person with high expectations of honor and integrity in people I share my life with. I do not "dress the part" all the time, but I consider myself well put-together when I leave the house. I like much of life to be in order and well-managed, which will be more obvious as you get to know me.
You must have basic life skills, a willingness to follow healthy habits, and an aptitude for learning.
At this time, I want to meet people and start on the journey ahead. The intent of this and all of my relationships is always a lifetime commitment, but I also adore new companions and friends. I do not do cyber relationships nor do I immerse myself in fiction. My life is as real as this keyboard in my hands, and my home and family around me.
Unfortunately there are other nonrelated issues that this may not be a situation best suited to my needs but i believe this Domme is sincere and it would otherwise be an honor to explore and ultimately serve someone with this attitude.
How many fakes can even imagine much less compose something like that? i would guess not to many as a whole.
Hope this helps,
cheers!
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