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RE: Dysfunctional Dominants - 7/23/2006 1:07:40 PM   
Vancouver_cinful


Posts: 1911
Joined: 2/3/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: WyrdRich

    What about completely useless, waste of oxygen, hauling their baggage around in a Freightliner, losers, who declare themselves Dominant and expect everyone to ignore their flaws?


I really admire people who are facing their demons, head-on, so someone with flaws doesn't scare me. A person who has been through a lot, and is wiser and more aware, and determined to grow is someone I enjoy being around. Scars are just badges of survival.

(Untested people may cave at the first sight of trouble...I'd rather know their mettle upfront!)

Saying that, anyone who denies thay have issues, expects others to fix them, or ignore the issues...well, they last about 5 minutes in my life. I did the life-saving thing a few times in my younger days...and guess what, drowning people will try to take you down with them. Nope, not going to happen. I have too much self-preservation.

_____________________________

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quote:


My Karma Account is huge, but I just can't seem to make a withdrawal!!

http://cinful.wordpress.com

(in reply to WyrdRich)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Dysfunctional Dominants - 7/23/2006 1:13:51 PM   
justheather


Posts: 1532
Joined: 10/4/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Vancouver_cinful
\Saying that, anyone who denies thay have issues, expects others to fix them, or ignore the issues...well, they last about 5 minutes in my life. I did the life-saving thing a few times in my younger days...and guess what, drowning people will try to take you down with them. Nope, not going to happen. I have too much self-preservation.


Amen, sister. One thing I learned from a very difficult relationship I had in my twenties (I just happened to have it over and over again) is that

Anyone who is worth saving will save himself.

I can not save anyone. What I can do is enter into a relationship with open eyes and an open heart.



< Message edited by justheather -- 7/23/2006 1:17:30 PM >

_____________________________

I want the scissors to be sharp
And the table perfectly level
When you cut me out of my life
And paste me in that book you always carry.
-Billy Collins

(in reply to Vancouver_cinful)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Dysfunctional Dominants - 7/23/2006 1:17:00 PM   
WyrdRich


Posts: 1733
Joined: 1/3/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MHOO314

And who is the one who will define "dysfunctional"? What are the terms--you have a better house? You make more money? So another is dysfunctional because they live in an apartment, make an hourly wage? Is that the definition?  Or because they have issues?  What about depth of emotion, compassion, tenderness-what price tag do you put on those?
 


       I'm pretty sure anybody who didn't crawl out of the wrong side of the bed looking for a fight could read the sort of language I used in the OP and understand that finances don't have anything to do with the topic.  Or did I strike close to a nerve and you feel a need to redirect the argument??

(in reply to MHOO314)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Dysfunctional Dominants - 7/23/2006 1:17:23 PM   
heartfeltsub


Posts: 1641
Joined: 11/5/2004
Status: offline 		Armour, reminds me of a song by Tracy Chapman that i think is called " Remember the Tin Man" about how we so ardently try to guard ourselves from everything that is lurking outside intent on hurting us. A very sad, albeit understandable way to survive, to me, it is not living.

There are locks on the doors

And chains stretched across all the entries to the inside

There's a gate and a fence

And bars to protect from only God knows what lurks outside





Who stole your heart left you with a space

That no one and nothing can fill

Who stole your heart who took it away

Knowing that without it you can't live





Who took away the part so essential to the whole

Left you a hollow body

Skin and bone

What robber what thief who stole your heart and the key





Who stole your heart

The smile from your face

The innocence the light from your eyes

Who stole your heart or did you give it away

And if so then when and why





Who took away the part so essential to the whole

Left you a hollow body

Skin and bone

What robber what thief

Who stole your heart and the key





Now all sentiment is gone

Now you have no trust in no one





Who stole your heart

Did you know but forget the method and moment in time

Was it a trickster using mirrors and sleight of hand

A strong elixir or a potion that you drank





Who hurt your heart

Bruised it in a place

That no one and nothing can heal

You've gone to wizards, princes and magic men

You've gone to witches, the good the bad the indifferent





But still all sentiment is gone

But still you have no trust in no one





If you can tear down the walls

Throw your armor away remove all roadblocks barricades

If you can forget there are bandits and dragons to slay

And don't forget that you defend an empty space





And remember the tinman

Found he had what he thought he lacked

Remember the tinman

Go find your heart and take it back





Who stole your heart

Maybe no one can say

One day you will find it I pray

(editted to add the lyrics of the song)


< Message edited by heartfeltsub -- 7/23/2006 1:21:01 PM >

(in reply to Caretakr)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Dysfunctional Dominants - 7/23/2006 1:49:00 PM   
WyrdRich


Posts: 1733
Joined: 1/3/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressSassy66

Wow that is sooo weird I used to drive a Freightliner when I drove 18-wheeler OTR.Boy did I have a lot of baggage...On the road for weeks at time had to have all that stuff.I declare Myself  to be a Dominant... One more thing....its hard to ignore flaws I dont have.

Wait one last thing...I grew up in a dysfuntional family...I dont think I ever grew out of it.



      I think you can actually pack a bit more gear into those new Peterbilts...  Long Haul wasn't a good fit for me (80,000 lbs of road rage...).  Laughter is a symptom of a healthy mind so I think you're OK Sassy.

(in reply to MistressSassy66)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Dysfunctional Dominants - 7/23/2006 2:10:57 PM   
MHOO314


Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: WyrdRich

quote:

ORIGINAL: MHOO314

And who is the one who will define "dysfunctional"? What are the terms--you have a better house? You make more money? So another is dysfunctional because they live in an apartment, make an hourly wage? Is that the definition?  Or because they have issues?  What about depth of emotion, compassion, tenderness-what price tag do you put on those?
 


      I'm pretty sure anybody who didn't crawl out of the wrong side of the bed looking for a fight could read the sort of language I used in the OP and understand that finances don't have anything to do with the topic.  Or did I strike close to a nerve and you feel a need to redirect the argument??


I hardly have a need for that, however "
quote:

What about completely useless, waste of oxygen, hauling their baggage around in a Freightliner, losers, who declare themselves Dominant and expect everyone to ignore their flaws?

 
pretty much takes the argument to one of a different level---There is no nerve here to strike, other than the fact that your financial arrogance flames through.



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Mistress Hathor


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Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Dysfunctional Dominants - 7/23/2006 2:17:09 PM   
WyrdRich


Posts: 1733
Joined: 1/3/2005
Status: offline 		    I'm not sure where you are getting financial arrogance unless you think a Freightliner is a trailer park thing instead of a vehicle that will haul 50,000 lbs+ up a mountain.

   My name is as close as I come to having lots of money.

(in reply to MHOO314)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Dysfunctional Dominants - 7/23/2006 2:17:18 PM   
Cloudz


Posts: 836
Joined: 9/13/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: heartfeltsub

Although i will probably get slammed for this, as i have been assiduously avoiding stepping in to these controversies, you can not get past anything that you won't forgive, whether it is yourself that you need to forgive or others. As long as one continues to stoke the fire of his/her own resentments and wounds, new growth is not possible. 


heartfelt,

You expressed your thoughts beautifully. May I borrow the last line to include in my signature, and hang on my bathroom mirror. I am quite serious, one of life's lessons I personally need to work on. Be well.

_____________________________

Enjoy the Journey,
~Cloudz

"Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain."


(in reply to heartfeltsub)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Dysfunctional Dominants - 7/23/2006 2:31:51 PM   
MHOO314


Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: WyrdRich

I'm not sure where you are getting financial arrogance unless you think a Freightliner is a trailer park thing instead of a vehicle that will haul 50,000 lbs+ up a mountain.

My name is as close as I come to having lots of money.


I am well aware of what a freightliner is, but your tone indicates that someone who may be of that ilk is a "dysfunctional" Dominant--its stated very clearly here---so now you change your approach to say it is an ok thing versus--the Dominant who has that kind of life is a schmuck?? I'm a tad confused here---


hmm there is dysfunction among the rich and famous too--perhaps if your point was one of a theoretical discussion, then it should not be associated with "real" things for I can assure you, that dysfunction abounds in all walks of life--but as I have said, one "man's" trash is another's treasure.

< Message edited by MHOO314 -- 7/23/2006 2:36:37 PM >

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Mistress Hathor


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Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Dysfunctional Dominants - 7/23/2006 2:32:11 PM   
heartfeltsub


Posts: 1641
Joined: 11/5/2004
Status: offline 		Thank you very much and please feel free to do so. 

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Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Dysfunctional Dominants - 7/23/2006 3:06:06 PM   
Misstoyou


Posts: 1149
Joined: 9/4/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MHOO314

quote:

ORIGINAL: WyrdRich

I'm not sure where you are getting financial arrogance unless you think a Freightliner is a trailer park thing instead of a vehicle that will haul 50,000 lbs+ up a mountain.

My name is as close as I come to having lots of money.


I am well aware of what a freightliner is, but your tone indicates that someone who may be of that ilk is a "dysfunctional" Dominant--its stated very clearly here---so now you change your approach to say it is an ok thing versus--the Dominant who has that kind of life is a schmuck?? I'm a tad confused here---



I think the freightliner reference is suppose to be WyrdRich's metaphor about how much baggage the dysfunctional Dominant has to haul around, not a comment about truckdriving Dominants. But maybe that's just the English teacher in me. lol

_____________________________

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a.k.a. "mean Lady"


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RE: Dysfunctional Dominants - 7/23/2006 3:07:54 PM   
WyrdRich


Posts: 1733
Joined: 1/3/2005
Status: offline 		    That would be it exactly.  Thank you Miss.

(in reply to Misstoyou)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Dysfunctional Dominants - 7/23/2006 3:16:20 PM   
MHOO314


Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline 		Perhaps a better metaphorical reference may have been more appropriate?

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Mistress Hathor


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Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Dysfunctional Dominants - 7/23/2006 3:19:00 PM   
Misstoyou


Posts: 1149
Joined: 9/4/2004
Status: offline 		I suppose he could have said freight train ...

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~ Miss Marie

a.k.a. "mean Lady"


(in reply to MHOO314)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Dysfunctional Dominants - 7/23/2006 3:31:40 PM   
MHOO314


Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline 		Interesting how we all interpret postings isn't it?

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Mistress Hathor


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Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Dysfunctional Dominants - 7/23/2006 3:49:45 PM   
TemptingNviceSub


Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline 		While I have had no Dominant..I did have an ex-husband who had sooo much baggage that it would of filled a football stadium..I perservered for 18 years to help empty said bags to make life easier for him as best as I could until one day I realized he loved his baggage,it was what made him..him..it was his crutch,his excuse to never be a better person than who he already was in essence to not have to grow to be a a happier,content man..I am sorry to say after said 18 years I finally could no longer go on...enough was truly enough...be well...Tempting

(in reply to MHOO314)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Dysfunctional Dominants - 7/23/2006 4:08:55 PM   
MHOO314


Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline 		I would completely agree, at times we tend to let others baggage wear us down far too much, it is sad too that the world is filled with so much and so many LOVE to carry it around--the best to you and a joyous new life.

_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor


(in reply to TemptingNviceSub)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Dysfunctional Dominants - 7/23/2006 5:51:25 PM   
scottjk


Posts: 335
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Caretakr

There are just as many Dominant victims out there as submissive ones. Difference being, the tops aren't allowed to cry about it.


Amen to that. I won't relate a story though. Overall, we all have to struggle with our personal dysfunctions. You might know what it is, you might even know how to deal with it, but that just simply does not remove the struggle. There is even stuff often hiding in the shadows waiting to drag you down unawares, and knowing that just adds another level of dysfunction! lol The only advice I can offer is patience, observation and then action where it's warrented.

(in reply to Caretakr)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Dysfunctional Dominants - 7/23/2006 6:00:59 PM   
justheather


Posts: 1532
Joined: 10/4/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Caretakr

There are just as many Dominant victims out there as submissive ones. Difference being, the tops aren't allowed to cry about it.


Whose rule is this? Doms don't cry? Do you really believe that, or are you saying that is the perception among submissives, that a "real" dom wouldnt cry?



_____________________________

I want the scissors to be sharp
And the table perfectly level
When you cut me out of my life
And paste me in that book you always carry.
-Billy Collins

(in reply to scottjk)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Dysfunctional Dominants - 7/23/2006 7:24:17 PM   
MistressSassy66


Posts: 1675
Joined: 11/5/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: WyrdRich

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressSassy66

Wow that is sooo weird I used to drive a Freightliner when I drove 18-wheeler OTR.Boy did I have a lot of baggage...On the road for weeks at time had to have all that stuff.I declare Myself  to be a Dominant... One more thing....its hard to ignore flaws I dont have.

Wait one last thing...I grew up in a dysfuntional family...I dont think I ever grew out of it.



     I think you can actually pack a bit more gear into those new Peterbilts...  Long Haul wasn't a good fit for me (80,000 lbs of road rage...).  Laughter is a symptom of a healthy mind so I think you're OK Sassy.



Okay truck of choice would have to be a KWhopper or the Western Star,beautiful trucks they can be when all dressed up.I hear ya on the rage...last minute oh wow the lane is closed arrrggghhh!

Oh come on...OK...I'm just OK...I was shooting for something with more substance...
Maybe something like wow Your such a Goddess....lmfao

_____________________________

Mistress Sassy

http://www.mistresssassy.com

In the Immortal Words of Bob....Fuck the dumb shit.

"I love you not only for what you are,But for what I am when I'm with you."- Opening line from a poem by Roy Croft

(in reply to WyrdRich)
Profile   Post #: 60
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