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Keeping a Journal - 7/23/2006 8:46:53 AM

cuddleheart50

Posts: 9718
Joined: 2/20/2006
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

Master wants me to keep a journal, however, I see no point in it, I would rather talk to him face to face about what I'm feeling. I am going to keep a journal because he told me too, but I was wondering if anyone thought the same way I do about keeping a journal.

_____________________________

Dance like no one is watching,
Sing like no one is listening.
Love like you've never been hurt
and live like it's heaven on Earth.

Post #: 1

RE: Keeping a Journal - 7/23/2006 8:53:51 AM

Nosathro

Posts: 3319
Joined: 9/25/2005
From: Orange County, California
Status: offline

greetings Marsha

I know many D/s and all who keep journals of the BDSM experiences. It is good that you and your Master have open communication which is very important. A journal does serve as a record that can be referred to from time to time when I or any forgets something that at one time many not seem important but later may become important. I think it would be a good idea that you and your Master set up some guide lines on you keeping a journal and why.

I wish you well

Nosathro

_____________________________

"The love of a slave girl is the deepest and most profound love that any woman can give a man. Love makes a woman a man's slave, and the wholeness of that love requires that she be, in truth, his slave." Magicians of Gor, page 31

(in reply to cuddleheart50)

Post #: 2

RE: Keeping a Journal - 7/23/2006 8:54:23 AM

mellian

Posts: 211
Joined: 9/6/2004
Status: offline

With my ex, thought it was good idea, but she kept ignoring the journal emails I want sending her and just further isolated me from the rest of the world. Next time, I just say they should just create a LJ account and add my Lj. :p

-mellian

_____________________________

Since my pic link doesn't work, here is my profile:

http://www.collarme.com/bdsm/v/50276/details.htm

(in reply to cuddleheart50)

Post #: 3

RE: Keeping a Journal - 7/23/2006 9:50:46 AM

slaverubyred

Posts: 39
Joined: 10/7/2005
Status: offline

I was ordered to keep a journal/diary (which i moaned at the prospect of having to do) after each and every meeting i have with Master. It has proved to be valuable in reminding both Master and myself on things such as what W/we did, what i wore, what He wore, where W/we went for a meal or what date W/we went somewhere, but also it is a wonderful way of reminding myself if im down in the dumps or not seen Him for a while just how far W/we have come.

I love it, i find the words just run off my fingers because im talking about someone i love and something i am incredibly passionate about and wouldnt like not been able to make an entry for any reason.

(in reply to cuddleheart50)

Post #: 4

RE: Keeping a Journal - 7/23/2006 10:06:23 AM

NurseKitty

Posts: 33
Joined: 6/14/2006
From: Syracuse, New York
Status: offline

Another possible option would be a blog. I have a blog that I type in as often as I can. I find it helps me sort out the things I want to discuss with my Dom--and the things I'd rather keep to myself. A blog doesn't have to be made public. I find typing goes much faster than writing, so it's not a chore. Also, I have so many things running through my head at any one time, it is a valuable tool to help sort out and untangle the different lines of thought.

It's also a great place to record a fantasy or two, for future reference!

(in reply to slaverubyred)

Post #: 5

RE: Keeping a Journal - 7/23/2006 10:07:36 AM

sublizzie

Posts: 1252
Joined: 5/26/2004
Status: offline

Not having a Dom/Master to keep a journal for, I can't comment on how it would help the relationship. However, I have 3 blogs that help me sort a lot of things out. One I blog in a lot. One I used when I was going through my divorce. One is very private and used only for BDSM things I'm dealing with.

They each help me sort things out in my head. I can go back and see patterns when I read through them. Sometimes I will realize that I'm cycling through something that I need to break. Other times they help me see good stuff that I'm more apt to forget when I'm having a bad day.

They also keep me on track for not settling for someone who doesn't match what I need. I see *that* as an imperative for my own self-preservation.

(in reply to cuddleheart50)

Post #: 6

RE: Keeping a Journal - 7/23/2006 10:17:00 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: cuddleheart50
Master wants me to keep a journal, however, I see no point in it, I would rather talk to him face to face about what I'm feeling. I am going to keep a journal because he told me too, but I was wondering if anyone thought the same way I do about keeping a journal.

Let's just say I wish more people felt as you did.

Unfortunately, more subs are comfortable writing on a page than honestly communicating directly.

What was his reason for requiring you to do this even after you expressed your particular feelings?

You could write in your journal every day "I wish I could tell you this directly and discuss with my voice but..." or something like that.

http://www.collarchat.com/m_324861/mpage_1/key_journal/tm.htm
Journaling for subs

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to cuddleheart50)

Post #: 7

RE: Keeping a Journal - 7/23/2006 10:24:42 AM

Cloudz

Posts: 836
Joined: 9/13/2005
Status: offline

I find journals to be effective. Talking face to face is vital and should not be stopped due to journaling. However, journaling allows one to ponder on quiet thoughts, and is a very personal time for getting in touch with yourself. In face to face your partner's body language, facial expression, comments, or even the cat playing with a ball of string can distract you and throw you off topic.

I highly recommend journaling - for communicaton with a Dom and he/she should be willing to comment back - in writing.

_____________________________

Enjoy the Journey,
~Cloudz

"Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain."

(in reply to cuddleheart50)

Post #: 8

RE: Keeping a Journal - 7/23/2006 12:26:43 PM

justheather

Posts: 1532
Joined: 10/4/2005
Status: offline

I would advise you to try it, even if you are feeling like it's not something you want to do.
If nothing else, you might find it an excellent tool for getting your thoughts together before approaching your dom with something you want to talk about, and that is an act of service to him...in a way, simplifying his life.

I used to have a blog and I miss it dearly at times. It was a way that I could feel like I was approaching Daddy with my thoughts and feelings without running to him every time I had an emotion, or when he was not available to communicate with me. I could get it all out there and process it externally (If things stay up in my head too long, the next thing you know they fall out twisted and upside down and in no way recognizable to any rational being...it helps me to talk things out for that reason...) and let it go until Daddy had time to read it. It was then his decision to either to address it or not. Either way, I knew I was being heard. That is important to me. Sometimes it is actually more important than getting feedback...just being heard.

Daddy also used to assign me tasks, either to help me get through a hard time or just to please him. He would say "go to your blog and write about...". This was a gift to me in several ways. Sometimes it was simply a gift of time for myself, quiet time of reflection. Sometimes it helped me to get in touch with that acute feeling of submission...it does have a way of getting drowned out sometimes...Other times it was clearly an act of adoration toward him, which I undertook joyfully and earnestly, and that is a gift to me as well.

I have a sub friend who was "against" journalling until her dom told her to do it. She began doing it because she wanted to be obedient and faithul. Then she began to see the fruit it bore in her life and realized it wasnt a task he gave her, but a gift. Now she relies on it as a way of maintaining peace in her life.

_____________________________

I want the scissors to be sharp
And the table perfectly level
When you cut me out of my life
And paste me in that book you always carry.
-Billy Collins

(in reply to cuddleheart50)

Post #: 9

RE: Keeping a Journal - 7/23/2006 12:29:49 PM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

Journaling/blogging is a very effective form of communcation. There have been times I thought I was writing about a lot of nothing. Then my Dom would pull things out and ask me to go in more detail or he would make comments. This has helped me come to a point where I can more easily reframe things that are difficult for me. There have also been just a few times when I misbehaved and my blog was my only way of communicating with him. He knows that I need that assurance of knowing that I can be heard, in good and bad times. I know that he always carefully reads what I write. It is also a way for me to lay out what is really bothering me, in my life, and get it out in the open - that is a huge help, no matter what is going on.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to Cloudz)

Post #: 10

RE: Keeping a Journal - 7/23/2006 12:52:24 PM

justheather

Posts: 1532
Joined: 10/4/2005
Status: offline

(psssst, Katy, I was talking about you!)

_____________________________

I want the scissors to be sharp
And the table perfectly level
When you cut me out of my life
And paste me in that book you always carry.
-Billy Collins

(in reply to KatyLied)

Post #: 11

RE: Keeping a Journal - 7/23/2006 4:43:49 PM

cuddleheart50

Posts: 9718
Joined: 2/20/2006
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

I started my journal this evening, and I was surprized how easy it was, and how much I had to say!!! This may be a good thing after all.

_____________________________

Dance like no one is watching,
Sing like no one is listening.
Love like you've never been hurt
and live like it's heaven on Earth.

(in reply to justheather)

Post #: 12

RE: Keeping a Journal - 7/23/2006 4:53:30 PM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

quote:

(psssst, Katy, I was talking about you!)

This is one of those cases where I read the first few responses then typed mine. After I read yours I had a feeling it was about me me me!

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to justheather)

Post #: 13

RE: Keeping a Journal - 7/23/2006 6:37:38 PM

jonathan

Posts: 196
Joined: 8/5/2004
Status: offline

With appreciation for the other comments here, i have to say that journaling is the most effective tool in a developing D/s relationship. That said, it's only as good as the writer's honesty. Which is why, in the past, i have knelt and read from one for discussion. Can't be caught in a lie in that situation. At the first meeting with the first Domme i ever approached, over ten years ago, She just handed me a blank book, told me to start writing, and walked away. That did not work out, but i caught on to the concept.

These days, with the 'Net fostering long distance relationships, LJ is a great resource. i started keeping one there earlier this year. A safe and scene-friendly place to be open about yourself. i have found that many of my posts there since being put under consideration are in whole or in part the same as my daily reports to Her, but from a different view. The golden rule of writing, write to your audience. When i do my daily reports, i'm speaking to Her. When i post to my journal, i'm writing to me. That's what a journal is about, writing to yourself. They used to be called diaries and most people had one, once upon a time.

_____________________________

jonathan
http://www.slaveregister.com/000-515-587

"But in purple, i am stunning!"
"Before You slip into unconsciousness, i'd like to have another kiss, another flashing chance at bliss, another kiss, another kiss"

(in reply to cuddleheart50)

Post #: 14

RE: Keeping a Journal - 7/23/2006 8:47:36 PM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: cuddleheart50

I started my journal this evening, and I was surprized how easy it was, and how much I had to say!!! This may be a good thing after all.

~ Grin ~
When I saw your OP my first thought was "You may see no point in it, but your Master wants it, and may find it is useful not only to him but to you." Sometimes the Master sees a bigger picture than we do. And then I saw this point and thought, "Well there ya go."

Happy writing!

(in reply to cuddleheart50)

Post #: 15

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