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MsZifra -> RE: How do you inspire service? (11/8/2016 12:15:31 AM)
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First you have to know your submissive/slave. Every one is different, and has different needs. Your job is to figure out what they are. Inside that framework you must decide what part you want, what is not there you must have, what is there they must be able to give that you can live with or even learn to enjoy and what they need you cannot give. This is the puzzle you must master.
Said another way, the Dominant is a musician, the submissive is the musical instrument. You cannot play a cello like it was a tuba. The object is for the Dominant to make the best music between them.
There are some absolutes in short term relationships.
Submissives need recognition. It may be positive or negative depending on the sub, but even the sub who wants to work in your kitchen doing no strings housework needs you to think about him, to glance in and show some energy. A sub must feel desired, appreciated for themselves and to be given a chance to serve. An unused submissive is a broken one.
A person who declares themselves a Dominant and insists on respect and total obedience will be unsuccessful in the long term. Oh some subs will give them a try, after all subs outnumber Dominants. But if a Dominant treats a sub like a piece of wood (without negotiation, of course), the subs will not stay long.
First you take an interest in the submissive. Is this a good fit for the interaction you are currently looking for, and would that interaction be good for the submissive. Sometimes a sub may want to serve you just to serve you, however sometimes it takes negotiation that a sub do something outside their "like" list in return for something they do want, like a session later. But no matter what, the submissive's contribution must be acknowledged (within the personna of the Dominant)
As it applies to your asking submissives to help, first be clear on what you want. When someone does volunteer you do not exactly say thank you, you might say you look forward to them being of service to you, and that you will be grateful. When they arrive take a minute to speak to him/her. Make a minimum amount of vanilla small talk (like how was traffic) followed by an interest in their kinky side, (so is this your first tine, what do you like best about the space, etc). And ask if there is anything they would like to share with you about how they would like to do the tasks. Some may want to be naked, etc. If so, take an appraising look once they are naked, and give an offhand compliment before they dress. As they do the assigned tasks keep an occasional eye on them. When they are done take the time to seriously look and consider the gift of submission that has just been given. Show quiet approval and gratitude. (You did an amazing job, your Mistress is/ or any Mistress would be proud, etc.) always end with thank you for your service.
In all interactions, but especially in long term service, you must remember and integrate that your submissive is first and foremost a man or a woman. That the normal needs of any person must be fed, and the service they offer must fulfill that. For instance. My slave has served me faithfully for 11 years. He has never wavered in any way. I have to consider he is also an artist, and a video game player, and a guy who drives too fast. I encourage the video games and time creating art, I mildly chastise him for the driving, but I bought him a powerful car because I know this is where he has the most control/testosterone in his life and I have to allow him that.
I know I have been rambling.
I hope this helps.
Zifra
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