RE: 'Father Christmas' or 'Santa'? (Full Version)

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WickedsDesire -> RE: 'Father Christmas' or 'Santa'? (12/6/2016 5:22:25 AM)

let me see what I am using on another two sites as me tagline

1. pof Looking for a Venusian Goddess & bars of gold - actually that was Appear! ms santa earlier on
2. fabs Looking for a Venusian Goddess cock whore x Obviosuly i would prefer this as my pof tagline but being a man i cannot write what i want to on there without being footed off - women can write anything even the fake uns...christ where are you when i actually need you respectman

Ms Santa I am correct. always, well save when I am wrong. But hush now, gather round....there is no such think as Father Pussy Groping santaclaws - hmm it would appear we have an exception to that rule fuking idiots for you eh!

Anyone going to do the Does father Christmas or Santa Claws really exist?

No known species of reindeer can fly. BUT there are 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not COMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer which only Santa has ever seen.

There are 2 billion children (persons under 18) in the world. BUT since Santa doesn't (appear to) handle the Muslim, Hindu, Jewish and Buddhist children, that reduces the workload to 15% of the total - 378 million according to Population Reference Bureau. At an average (census)rate of 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8 million homes. One presumes there's at least one good child in each.

Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west(which seems logical). This works out to 822.6 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to the next house. Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false but for the purposes of our calculations we will accept), we are now talking about .78 miles per household, a total trip of 75-1/2 million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us must do at least once every 31 hours, plus feeding etc.

This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man- made vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second - a conventional reindeer can run, tops, 15 miles per hour.

The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized lego set (2 pounds), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as overweight. On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that "flying reindeer" (see point #1) could pull TEN TIMES the normal anoint, we cannot do the job with eight, or even nine. We need 214,200 reindeer. This increases the payload - not even counting the weight of the sleigh - to 353,430 tons. Again, for comparison - this is four times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth.

353,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance - this will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as spacecrafts re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy. Per second. Each. In short, they will burst into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them, and create deafening sonic booms in their wake.The entire reindeer team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second. Santa, meanwhile, will be subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500.06 times greater than gravity. A 250-pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim)would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force.
In conclusion -- If Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's dead now.



heh it made me laugh :) all those years ago




jlf1961 -> RE: 'Father Christmas' or 'Santa'? (12/6/2016 5:24:27 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: WhoreMods

Actually, it's the red and white colour scheme and the curvaceous figure that were fixed by Sundbloom's coke advertising. Earlier representations, he'd be dressed in all sorts of stuff (often a Bishop, as you say, but also often in fur trimmed robes for some reason) and was often drawn as a skinny type.



He was still the patron saint of hookers, AND he is a voyeuristic pervert who spies on people.




blnymph -> RE: 'Father Christmas' or 'Santa'? (12/6/2016 5:44:57 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: jlf1961


quote:

ORIGINAL: WhoreMods

Actually, it's the red and white colour scheme and the curvaceous figure that were fixed by Sundbloom's coke advertising. Earlier representations, he'd be dressed in all sorts of stuff (often a Bishop, as you say, but also often in fur trimmed robes for some reason) and was often drawn as a skinny type.



He was still the patron saint of hookers, AND he is a voyeuristic pervert who spies on people.


He is the patron saint of sailors, merchants, lawyers, thieves, whores, children, women at childbirth, students, butchers, bakers, pawnbrokers, tailors, pilgrims, prisoners, prison wardens, lovers, Russians, Croats, Serbs, of Lorraine, of Bari, Galway (and a lot of other cities, mostly sea ports).

Maybe that's why he appears omnipresent.




WickedsDesire -> RE: 'Father Christmas' or 'Santa'? (12/6/2016 5:52:54 AM)

jlf1961 You look a bit like "Santa" wildee beard red top...dont hate me for that one :)




jlf1961 -> RE: 'Father Christmas' or 'Santa'? (12/6/2016 7:26:24 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: WickedsDesire

jlf1961 You look a bit like "Santa" wildee beard red top...dont hate me for that one :)



I dont hate you, however, may the fleas of 10 million camels inhabit your crotch for the public display of that opinion.

To be quite honest, I have despised the whole idea behind the commercialized holiday period since 1989, since in my opinion, it has become nothing more than a period for retailers to sell shoddy crap to people who probably need most of it like they need a case of ebola combined with the plague.

The Santa or father Christmas image is used to sell everything from cars to alcohol. The add campaigns are directed at those people and promote the idea that life would be better with whatever product they are pushing, thus conveinently avoiding the real reason for the Christmas celebration, which was religious to begin with.

So good ol saint Nick has gone from a man known to have given his inherited wealth away to help the poor and needy to representing base greed and material gains.

Add to that that beer and liquor distributors put up shit tons of displays promoting 'holiday cheer' with very small 'drink responsibly' notices, knowing full well that 80% of the purchasers are going to get drunk and do something stupid, not to mention the multitude of job related parties where the hosts dont have the good sense to arrange for cabs or rides for the jackasses who are too fucking drunk to drive, thus allowing them to attempt to drive home and maybe killing some woman due to be married on christmas day and her unborn daughter.

Which brings me to my philosophy that if they do away with capital punishment for every other heinous crime on the books, they should keep it for drunk drivers who kill someone, and allow the surviving family members perform the execution in a manner they see fit.

For this reason, there are many who, due to some drunk asshole, spend the holidays sitting in hospitals or funeral homes.

And finally, you have one month a year where people are proclaiming peace on earth and goodwill to men, yet for the rest of the year it is "do unto others before they can do unto you."

And yes, I am a cynical bastard with a low opinion of the majority of humanity. I drink whiskey, but never any place I may have to risk driving home, when I go to bars with friends, I wont even drink a glass of wine, preferring to stay sober so that I do not risk killing someone, or putting them in the hospital.

In short, fuck christmas and everything it has come to stand for.





WickedsDesire -> RE: 'Father Christmas' or 'Santa'? (12/6/2016 7:49:23 AM)

as do i :) but i would not knock back a bountiful bevy of wanton nymphomaniacs - although this place is bereft of those bitches




WhoreMods -> RE: 'Father Christmas' or 'Santa'? (12/6/2016 1:04:30 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: jlf1961


quote:

ORIGINAL: WhoreMods

Actually, it's the red and white colour scheme and the curvaceous figure that were fixed by Sundbloom's coke advertising. Earlier representations, he'd be dressed in all sorts of stuff (often a Bishop, as you say, but also often in fur trimmed robes for some reason) and was often drawn as a skinny type.



He was still the patron saint of hookers, AND he is a voyeuristic pervert who spies on people.

You'd deny him his fun in return for making the children happy?
[;)]




PeonForHer -> RE: 'Father Christmas' or 'Santa'? (12/6/2016 2:18:17 PM)

Come on, Jeff, all this is sour grapes, isn't it? You're just pissed off because your older bro got the Santa job while you're stuck in his workshop in your Santa's Factory regulation red sweatshirt (per your forum pic) as a mere elf, aren't you? ;)




thishereboi -> RE: 'Father Christmas' or 'Santa'? (12/6/2016 2:24:59 PM)

I have heard both over here but santa is much more common. When I hear Father Christmas I think of the song from the movie and that makes me think of England.

for those who haven't seen the movie

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rRWkpIIlVMU




PeonForHer -> RE: 'Father Christmas' or 'Santa'? (12/6/2016 2:51:51 PM)

Ah, ta, THB. I think that must be the only 'Scrooge' I've never seen. I'll give it a try.

Everybody in my family (which is to say one parent and six kids) still refers to 'Kah Kissmas'. Youngest sibling Megan used to pronounce it that way as a toddler and all the rest of us have been taking the piss out of the poor girl/woman ever since. [:)]




Kaliko -> RE: 'Father Christmas' or 'Santa'? (12/6/2016 2:58:39 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: jlf1961


In short, fuck christmas and everything it has come to stand for.





I'm the one that puts the Christmas tree and stockings up at work each year. This year, I haven't done it. And you know what? (...sniffle) No one seems to care.

They've been infected with your disease.




freedomdwarf1 -> RE: 'Father Christmas' or 'Santa'? (12/6/2016 4:07:40 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: jlf1961

...it has become nothing more than a period for retailers to sell shoddy crap to people who probably need most of it like they need a case of ebola combined with the plague.

The Santa or father Christmas image is used to sell everything from cars to alcohol. The add campaigns are directed at those people and promote the idea that life would be better with whatever product they are pushing, thus conveinently avoiding the real reason for the Christmas celebration, which was religious to begin with.

So good ol saint Nick has gone from a man known to have given his inherited wealth away to help the poor and needy to representing base greed and material gains.

Add to that that beer and liquor distributors put up shit tons of displays promoting 'holiday cheer' with very small 'drink responsibly' notices, knowing full well that 80% of the purchasers are going to get drunk and do something stupid, not to mention the multitude of job related parties where the hosts dont have the good sense to arrange for cabs or rides for the jackasses who are too fucking drunk to drive, thus allowing them to attempt to drive home and maybe killing some woman due to be married on christmas day and her unborn daughter.

Which brings me to my philosophy that if they do away with capital punishment for every other heinous crime on the books, they should keep it for drunk drivers who kill someone, and allow the surviving family members perform the execution in a manner they see fit.

For this reason, there are many who, due to some drunk asshole, spend the holidays sitting in hospitals or funeral homes.

And finally, you have one month a year where people are proclaiming peace on earth and goodwill to men, yet for the rest of the year it is "do unto others before they can do unto you."

And yes, I am a cynical bastard...

In short, fuck christmas and everything it has come to stand for.

Good on ya Jeff.
I'm with you all the way!! [8D]

Every year we hang up 2 signs in the window.
One has a pic with santa inside a no entry sign that says "We are Pagan. Christmas is cancelled".
The other has a christmas scene that says "We hunt carol singers. Survivors will be shot on sight".
We keep one of those super-squirter water guns handy and if anyone dares to come singing or knocking on the door - they get soaked with freezing cold water.




PeonForHer -> RE: 'Father Christmas' or 'Santa'? (12/6/2016 4:42:48 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: WickedsDesire

jlf1961 You look a bit like "Santa" wildee beard red top...dont hate me for that one :)


You watch - JLF will disappear from 18th Dec till Boxing Day. He'll be too busy with "private matters" to post here. And he'll come back in a *really* bad mood as a result of a hangover from *way* too many glasses of sherry in houses all over the world. I've noticed the pattern over the years. You mark my words. [;)]




ExiledSlave -> RE: 'Father Christmas' or 'Santa'? (12/7/2016 5:29:10 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer


quote:

ORIGINAL: WickedsDesire

jlf1961 You look a bit like "Santa" wildee beard red top...dont hate me for that one :)


You watch - JLF will disappear from 18th Dec till Boxing Day. He'll be too busy with "private matters" to post here. And he'll come back in a *really* bad mood as a result of a hangover from *way* too many glasses of sherry in houses all over the world. I've noticed the pattern over the years. You mark my words. [;)]


Marked... well, underlined.




jlf1961 -> RE: 'Father Christmas' or 'Santa'? (12/7/2016 6:56:27 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

Come on, Jeff, all this is sour grapes, isn't it? You're just pissed off because your older bro got the Santa job while you're stuck in his workshop in your Santa's Factory regulation red sweatshirt (per your forum pic) as a mere elf, aren't you? ;)


NO.

I am pissed off and hate the christmas season and all it the commercial fucking bullshit it stands for because of a fucking drunk driver that killed my fiance and unborn daughter who would have been 22 this year.

Turn on the tv and you have santa selling cars, phones, toys, beer, booze and everything else but erectile dysfunction medication.

There are fucking morons who are hosting Christmas parties and serving booze with no thought as to how their drunk guests are going to get home safely or if they might kill someone in the process.

Its bullshit.





PeonForHer -> RE: 'Father Christmas' or 'Santa'? (12/7/2016 9:35:55 AM)

Ah, right.

Actually, I find your view compelling.




WhoreMods -> RE: 'Father Christmas' or 'Santa'? (12/8/2016 8:19:07 AM)

No question it's the season of drunk driving.




ShaharThorne -> RE: 'Father Christmas' or 'Santa'? (12/8/2016 11:10:02 AM)

I got 2 Father Christmas and 2 Santa Claus stocking holders out on the shelves. No stockings on them though, we use the wooden pegs to hang the stockings on (mine is a tentacle from Cthulhu). To me, it is too commercialized and takes away from the Pagan traditions of welcoming the return of Sun God after the longest night. I rarely buy anything...I do homemade gifts for my Christian family members, usually practical items like scarves or afghans. I am a teetotaler now so no problem with driving (which induces panic attacks anyway). I buy mine own gifts of stuff I really need like shoes, socks and maybe panties.




WhoreMods -> RE: 'Father Christmas' or 'Santa'? (12/8/2016 11:13:44 AM)

I think you can get a cuddly Cthulhu in a Santa hat, now that you've named the unnamable and spoken of the unspeakable...




Wayward5oul -> RE: 'Father Christmas' or 'Santa'? (12/8/2016 11:35:09 AM)

Just added to my Santa collection
[image]https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/71qRI6bZ0BL._SL1500_.jpg[/image]




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