i'm new to this but.... (Full Version)

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forurpleasure54 -> i'm new to this but.... (7/23/2006 7:10:15 PM)

the question i want to know is whats tthe difference between a sub and a slave



Sab -> RE: i'm new to this but.... (7/23/2006 7:15:15 PM)

A sub has lots of cheese! 



Cloudz -> RE: i'm new to this but.... (7/23/2006 7:18:17 PM)

for -

Hang on a bit. Our resident researcher - LA will get to you in a minute, when she will provide you with a list of links from previous threads that will answer your question.

Enjoy your day



irishbynature -> RE: i'm new to this but.... (7/23/2006 7:45:35 PM)

A slave is owned property in every way.  They have few rights  (to little rights)  and their Master(Owners) decides the limits in the agreement/relationship.

Submissives have rights, set boundaries, limits, with mutually agreed upon scenes, fetishes...etc  with their Dominants. Submissives are not "owned"---

Short answer, but hope that helps some. You might want to post this in the "Ask a Master" thread as well.

Good luck.
Irishbynature






juliaoceania -> RE: i'm new to this but.... (7/23/2006 7:51:53 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: irishbynature

A slave is owned property in every way.  They have few rights  (to little rights)  and their Master(Owners) decides the limits in the agreement/relationship.

Submissives have rights, set boundaries, limits, with mutually agreed upon scenes, fetishes...etc  with their Dominants. Submissives are not "owned"---

Short answer, but hope that helps some. You might want to post this in the "Ask a Master" thread as well.

Good luck.
Irishbynature






Submissives can be owned.. this is why I have decided not to define these terms...It is most important what the individuals involved in the dynamic think about these terms



irishbynature -> RE: i'm new to this but.... (7/23/2006 8:03:45 PM)

True..but in general terms for the OP Julia[:)] Subs are great because we can have 'certain' parts owned...LOL




juliaoceania -> RE: i'm new to this but.... (7/23/2006 8:22:29 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: irishbynature

True..but in general terms for the OP Julia[:)] Subs are great because we can have 'certain' parts owned...LOL




I will never call myself a slave, but if I am ever collared I will be owned.


I loved what crappydom said about this topic and quote him regularly,... How does one tell the difference between a slave and a submissive? A slave calls themselves a slave and a submissive calls themselves a submissive.. self generated labels.. there is no definition. Others will claim I am wrong, but then watch the same people that claim I am wrong debate each other on  what the terms mean.. they can't define it themselves.

I do have my own personal definition which will not even buy you a cup of coffee at an AA meeting..smiles...





LuckyAlbatross -> RE: i'm new to this but.... (7/23/2006 8:36:08 PM)

Thanks Cloudz :P

Just to keep the list current...

http://www.collarchat.com/m_366860/mpage_1/key_slave%252Csub/tm.htm#366893
Difference bet/submission and slave?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_365776/mpage_1/key_sub%252Cslave/tm.htm#366767
slub question

http://www.collarchat.com/m_281198/mpage_1/key_slave%252Csub/tm.htm#281512
difference between slave and submissive

http://www.collarchat.com/m_251014/mpage_1/key_sub%252Cslave/tm.htm#251062
definition of "slave"

What's the difference between slaves and submissives?

Submissive or slave?

Slaves versus submissive

Submissive or slave? (2)

Submissive vs slave (2)




sweetnurseBBW -> RE: i'm new to this but.... (7/23/2006 8:53:39 PM)

The definitions on sub a slave vary from one to the other. Just pick one you like. No one agrees on what the difference is.



petcerina -> RE: i'm new to this but.... (7/23/2006 9:15:26 PM)

i think the thing that you will find most interesting about the definitions of submissive and slave is that your own definitions will change.  i believe that to a certain degree, you are a submissive when you realize you are and you are a slave when you realize you are.  i could have had 100 people tell me i'm a slave, but i would have never called myself that until i believed that is what i was.



SavageEu -> RE: i'm new to this but.... (7/23/2006 10:07:25 PM)

Ok but in terms of browsing profiles, should a Dom like me, looking for a more someone with spirit and passion in them who might be a bit challenging still pretty much ignore the label then? I have seen women who identify as slave say they are not doormats and have minds too which is good in my mind but that blurs the lines even more. Maybe those two labels should just be combined into Submissive and remove the debate altogether? 



sweetnurseBBW -> RE: i'm new to this but.... (7/23/2006 10:35:26 PM)

I think you need to find what you want in a slave/sub. Everyone has their preferences. What things attract you to a slave/sub? What doesn't? Slave and sub are definately not the same thing.



PainDaddy -> RE: i'm new to this but.... (7/23/2006 10:38:50 PM)

Succinctly put sweetnurse!  My last "slave" preferred that title to "submissive" because she wanted to be better (more subservient) than the other subs she knew.  It was a one-downs-woman-ship for her. 

That's why in my profile I am seeking either a sub or a slave.  While I can do well w/ a sub w/ a compatible personality & attitude, I would have no problem if she preferred to known as a slave. 

IMO, though, a slave title should belong more to an individual who commits her/himself more to the Dom/me than the sub ... but that's a very subjective differentiation ... again ... a fluid definition.

As to intelligence, personality, not being a dishrag or zombie ... I'd have zero interest in any sub or slave who didn't show some character & intelligence.  The last slave was a Woman Marine Drill Instructor & a field rep for Big Blue ... highly intelligent, self-made woman, hardly a mindless dishrag or zombie.  Few subs (or slaves) rise to her calibre.

Just my 2 cents with 35+ yrs of r/l experience with several LT subs & slaves.
quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetnurseBBW
The definitions on sub a slave vary from one to the other. Just pick one you like. No one agrees on what the difference is.



Zenar -> RE: i'm new to this but.... (7/24/2006 3:29:47 PM)

Its my own opinion, and many will disagree but it is what I think of. A submisive is one that desires to be controled, to feel the struggle, to feel the power of the one controlling them. A slave desires to surrender, to go willingly, to know the power is already there controlling them.

In such a black and white definaition every thing is still relative, one may feel both at different times, or perhaps feel differently with different people. It is not as if one is better than the other, although so many romantisize slaves over submisives, they are apples and oranges, both with unique things to enjoy about them. After a time you will find it is much more dynamic than simply are you domaint or submisive, submisive or slave. In time you begin to explore so many other aspects, do you enjoy the fantasty or do you enjoy the exchange of energy? Do you enjoy a distant firm dominant or a close one that will hold you close and (sometimes) be gentle? Do you want to be submisive and think only of the desire of the one controlling you, or do you want to be submisive yet have some sence of control from the bottom.

Regardless of the lifestyle of BDSM it is still a relationship between two people, and such itself has many dynamics beyond which one is in control. The best piece of advice is to remember that it is more important to know yourself than to stick to steriotypes. Almost anyone in cyberland will say how bad it is to top from the bottom and never to be a switch. Some people are like that, we are what we are and there is no changing that no matter how much you try to cover it up, it does not make it bad. What makes it bad is if we live in a fantasy land where every thing is always perfect and find instead that we are human. If we live in the real world and learn about each other and learn about ourself, we instead make the world a bit closer to perfection.



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: i'm new to this but.... (7/24/2006 3:32:13 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Zenar
Almost anyone in cyberland will say how bad it is to top from the bottom and never to be a switch.

One of the reasons I stay on collarme and enjoy about it is that there are enough vocal switch posters who make sure that silly talk like that is kept to a minimum.



juliaoceania -> RE: i'm new to this but.... (7/24/2006 3:55:58 PM)

There is no struggle for me in submission




OsideGirl -> RE: i'm new to this but.... (7/24/2006 4:44:37 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: irishbynature

A slave is owned property in every way.  They have few rights  (to little rights)  and their Master(Owners) decides the limits in the agreement/relationship.

Submissives have rights, set boundaries, limits, with mutually agreed upon scenes, fetishes...etc  with their Dominants. Submissives are not "owned"---

Short answer, but hope that helps some. You might want to post this in the "Ask a Master" thread as well.

Good luck.
Irishbynature


I'm an owned submissive, so your definition does not fit.




TNstepsout -> RE: i'm new to this but.... (7/24/2006 8:10:09 PM)

My own personal definition is that a sub chooses to submit to another, but is never owned. A slave allows him/herself to be owned. Of course I must find a definition of sub I can live with.



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