What kind of Domme am I? (Full Version)

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EmpressOduda -> What kind of Domme am I? (12/14/2016 5:01:15 PM)

I am frequently being told that I am too kind and caring as a "real" Domme. But when I shift into my deep play mode, I am being too cruel. It is not my intent to make my sub or slave cry unless stated that they like it. So how do I find balance? I am firm and demanding, but what can I say I love after care. Help a lady out. And what the hell is wrong with me wanting to get to know my sub before I want to play?? Playing is on my terms.



thishereboi -> RE: What kind of Domme am I? (12/14/2016 5:26:13 PM)

You are the domme which means you are the one who is in control. Do what you want and what makes you feel good. Screw what other people think you should be. Oh and there is no such thing as a "real" or "true" domme.



OsideGirl -> RE: What kind of Domme am I? (12/14/2016 5:34:48 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: thishereboi

You are the domme which means you are the one who is in control. Do what you want and what makes you feel good. Screw what other people think you should be. Oh and there is no such thing as a "real" or "true" domme.


^^^ This!!



stef -> RE: What kind of Domme am I (12/14/2016 5:57:01 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: EmpressOduda

I am frequently being told that I am too kind and caring as a "real" Domme. But when I shift into my deep play mode, I am being too cruel. It is not my intent to make my sub or slave cry unless stated that they like it.

Are you being told these things by the people you play with or by others?




Diffident -> RE: What kind of Domme am I (12/14/2016 6:31:51 PM)

Kind and caring are good qualities. What sort of person would berate anyone for being too kind or caring?

I see a Pro-Domme semi-regularly. She is one of the nicest people I know, and has built a very successful business from being a Domme. I have no doubt at all that she could out-Domme anyone who says that she is not "real" for being nice to people or for charging money.



ThatDizzyChick -> RE: What kind of Domme am I? (12/14/2016 8:11:27 PM)

Don't try to be the domme other people think you should be, be the domme you are.



crazyml -> RE: What kind of Domme am I? (12/15/2016 11:44:16 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: ThatDizzyChick

Don't try to be the domme other people think you should be, be the domme you are.


This



WickedsDesire -> RE: What kind of Domme am I? (12/15/2016 12:33:51 PM)

words and instances define us all - you do not understand for few are all.



NookieNotes -> RE: What kind of Domme am I? (12/15/2016 4:46:20 PM)

Meh. I like to laugh and giggle and enjoy myself. I'm friends with all my subs. I enjoy their vanilla company as well as kink. I am physically affectionate. I'm not a sadist.

True, that makes me not right for many.

For the ones I'm right for, though... GAWDDAMN! RAWR!

Just be you. Everyone else is taken.



littleclip -> RE: What kind of Domme am I? (12/15/2016 8:24:33 PM)

being a caring and concerned Domme is a good thing. as a sub knowing that you care helps build trust.
dont worry about what anyone else says or thinks be yourself



EmpressOduda -> RE: What kind of Domme am I? (12/16/2016 11:08:11 PM)

Thank all of you for the words of support. I will keep being me and not what other domes and domes think I should be.



longwayhome -> RE: What kind of Domme am I? (12/16/2016 11:48:51 PM)

I hope you do. There is no one true way whatever impression parts of the community might give you.

Kind and caring is just great. If you give a damn about your subs, being cruel can be exactly kind and caring, in some ways that's kind of the point. Crying can be a good thing. There's a big difference being an actual sadist who wants to damage people and being someone who takes someone to scary places or imposes control or discipline when that is what they want or need.

I wouldn't play with someone I didn't know or who didn't know me. Everyone isn't the same when it comes to that but it's your choice. And if you like aftercare or coming down gently with someone that doesn't constitute a threat to your Dommely status.

You wont be for everyone and everyone wont be for you. That's not a problem.



WickedsDesire -> RE: What kind of Domme am I? (12/17/2016 8:50:28 AM)

My initial comment inferred you be a man pretending they are women



veronicaboundcd -> RE: What kind of Domme am I? (1/1/2017 8:14:09 AM)

There is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING wrong with you ... and the problem IS with the people you are playing with ... You need to find subs who can appreciate what you have to offer. The next time you are criticized, ask the person what exactly IT IS that they are bringing to the table, as You are certainly not getting their SUBMISSION as reward for your efforts and contributions to everything. You have a bigger gripe than they do in the complaint department, as you are getting little out of these interactions.



LadyConstanze -> RE: What kind of Domme am I? (1/1/2017 2:24:52 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: EmpressOduda

I am frequently being told that I am too kind and caring as a "real" Domme. But when I shift into my deep play mode, I am being too cruel. It is not my intent to make my sub or slave cry unless stated that they like it. So how do I find balance? I am firm and demanding, but what can I say I love after care. Help a lady out. And what the hell is wrong with me wanting to get to know my sub before I want to play?? Playing is on my terms.



Nothing at all, I think you just didn't really mesh with the people, sounds like they prefer domming by numbers



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