RE: Need Input From subs...

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: Need Input From subs...

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> RE: Need Input From subs...

Page: << < prev 1 [2]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Need Input From subs... - 7/25/2006 2:27:40 PM

proudsub

Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline

quote:

Quick! sign her up here.

That was my reaction too. It really helps to learn how many others enjoy the same types of things, and that it isn't that weird after all.

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan

(in reply to Mavis)

Profile

Post #: 21

RE: Need Input From subs... - 7/25/2006 2:39:37 PM

sharainks

Posts: 499
Joined: 12/13/2004
Status: offline

My advice would be to join a group nearby. There is nothing like meeting totally normal looking and acting folks who like the same things you do to let you know there isn't anything wrong with you.

Whats better is going to some group play parties and watching that it has the same effect on others.

(in reply to babysburnin)

Profile

Post #: 22

RE: Need Input From subs... - 7/25/2006 3:41:28 PM

afeathr

Posts: 248
Joined: 6/1/2006
From: Southern California
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: HerTexasBoss

I have had SEVERAL extensive discussions with her. She said that at first she equated what I did to her at "abuse"....and she struggled with it because she liked it. I told her there was a DISTINCT difference between physical "lifestyle" abuse and D/s sexual encounters. She told me she understood and that my explanation made sense. Do you have any good books that you could recommend....or good websites for a sub to learn from? Thanks.

I have gone through similar feelings myself, and have found that it doesn't matter how much I talk about it, it's all about *me* knowing what is good for me, and what's not good for me. It might help her to interact with other subs, online or in person, and to be able to discuss her feelings with them. I am sure, as it was with me, that it's hard for her to come to grips with the dichotomy of what she desires and what society has said is *normal*. In my opinion, this is something that takes time and the input of others to understand and rationalize.

I am a rational and intelligent woman, and it took me a while to come to grips with what I am... however, now when I am approached about being a "sub" I am good with it, and have gone up against some really ugly people about it. I am not ashamed anymore... and though I know I should never have been, I was... But now, I can hold my head higher than most people and say that I have found who and what I am, and I am not ashamed of it one bit. That's more than most people can say... <smiles>

Personally, it sounds as though she just needs others to tell her what many of us have already found out...

(in reply to HerTexasBoss)

Profile

Post #: 23

RE: Need Input From subs... - 7/25/2006 3:52:26 PM

afeathr

Posts: 248
Joined: 6/1/2006
From: Southern California
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: babysburnin

quote:

ORIGINAL: BillsGalSusan

what it felt like to me to enjoy something so taboo.

It just cracks me up..."Taboo". I'll get on my "high horse"...Nothing is taboo. If the thought that "it" makes it good, then....yes! Pervs go back since FOREVER. Don't feel guilty for having pervy thoughts....

It's funny because Sir always asks me if what I do with/for him makes me feel dirty (and some of the things we do really *should*) but in all honesty, it doesn't. What seems very dirty and "nasty" to him (which, subsequently turns him on) is not to me, in most cases. There are very few things that I find absolutely nasty (though we did find one the other day that I am sure he will use again because of my reaction) and it's funny because I don't think that anything is taboo... it's just not what *everyone* does... maybe I don't get it, but I just think that what we do when we are 'scening' is fun and outrageous and incredibly erotic and I don't really take it much further than that, even though I *KNOW* that if anyone saw me doing what we do, and the situations I have been put in, they would absolutely freak... well, my 'nilla' friends would at least... hehehe I don't really let it get to me like I used to, and even now when I do something that Sir thinks I should freak out about, generally I don't because I trust him and I know that my actions are not being judged...

My first 3some with him was a good example... I was nervous as hell and had all kinds of performance anxiety (having never been with another woman before) and things went smoothly (for the most part) and I really enjoyed it. But, the entire time Sir was watching me and would occasionally ask if I was okay and gauge my reaction to everything. Since then, very little makes me nervous or anxious because now I know that my physical and emotional welfare is more important to Him than any scene we might create...

Trust... it's an interesting beast, isn't it?

(in reply to babysburnin)

Profile

Post #: 24