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RE: Romance is Dead - 1/3/2017 12:04:57 PM

cloudboy

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I'm not a fan of prescriptive romance either, but sometimes our intuitions and impulses are helped by traditions / courtship orthodoxies.

I'm still waiting for the OP to get a first date with AAkasha.

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Post #: 41

RE: Romance is Dead - 1/3/2017 12:12:25 PM

cloudboy

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Real0ne

Glancing through the thread I am taking note that so far romance appears to be reserved for male dom female sub couples so far.

Its really funny to read the profiles. Maledoms are generally -- "what can I do for you?" and Femdom profiles are generally "what can you do for me / combined with a list of dislikes and 'don't dos.'"

Anyway, I've been in a LTR for over 10 years to my secondary partner -- and there's a lot of personal overlap beyond kink as well as kink-compatibility. I mostly feel lucky because there aren't many Femdoms out there and then there are the compatibility issues on top of that.

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Post #: 42

RE: Romance is Dead - 1/3/2017 12:17:18 PM

littleladybug

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Real0ne

quote:

ORIGINAL: littleladybug

quote:

ORIGINAL: Real0ne

In the bdsm world, romance has been replaced with 'fetish connection', and LTR is just a buzzword for 'till new fetish do we part'. I am convinced that this so called 'lifestyle' is not much more than a shallow ruse for fetish swingers, that for appearance sake looks like and sounds like a relationship but is merely a temporary relief to scratch an itch. Anyone else get that impression?

My personal experience has not been that way at all.

Certainly there are some people who approach it that way, but they are fairly easily weeded out, IME.

It's been a little over 2 years since I contacted my Master on the other side here. From the start, we have been on the same page regarding wanting a long-term, monogamous relationship. There's definitely not been a shortage of romance here.

Glancing through the thread I am taking note that so far romance appears to be reserved for male dom female sub couples so far.

Oh, and FWIW, the romance goes both ways in our relationship, for sure.

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Post #: 43

RE: Romance is Dead - 1/3/2017 2:21:21 PM

ThundersCry2U

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Fill out *stuff*? No way...

They either want to play or they don`t. I like the 0 to 60 stuff...not much sense in wasting time!

If they won`t fuck me on a snow bank, covered in a pile of trash...I move on! Life`s way to short...

Dude, I hope you find what your wanting...its out there.

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Post #: 44

RE: Romance is Dead - 1/3/2017 5:11:43 PM

respectmen

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I think the relationship as a whole between men and women is dying. Due to things like feminism, it causes bitterness between the genders and only draws as further apart instead of bringing us closer.

Look how the relations with genders were in the old days. Look at it now, men are evil, women are victims. Yawn.

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RE: Romance is Dead - 1/3/2017 5:40:06 PM

ThatDizzyChick

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LOL

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Post #: 46

RE: Romance is Dead - 1/3/2017 5:50:56 PM

tamaka

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quote:

ORIGINAL: respectmen

I think the relationship as a whole between men and women is dying. Due to things like feminism, it causes bitterness between the genders and only draws as further apart instead of bringing us closer.

Look how the relations with genders were in the old days. Look at it now, men are evil, women are victims. Yawn.

I don't think the relationship between men and women is dying... but i definitely think it is changing. I think a lot of people, both men and women, want to maintain their own sense of individual identity, even if they are married. People can be married and maintain their own individual life as well... which i think is a changing social norm.

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Post #: 47

RE: Romance is Dead - 1/3/2017 5:52:02 PM

Greta75

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Real0ne
Glancing through the thread I am taking note that so far romance appears to be reserved for male dom female sub couples so far.

Because to court a female takes romance majority of the time. Women just like all the sweet shit that makes them feel like the man made effort.

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Post #: 48

RE: Romance is Dead - 1/3/2017 5:54:34 PM

Greta75

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quote:

ORIGINAL: tamakaIf you have to demand it, it isn't really romance.

For me, one thing I have learnt about men is most of them are block heads. So I always make my expectations clear, so they can deliver. I do not expect them to attempt to read my mind, as most of them will fail. Why set them up for failure? I simply tell them what I want, they make it happen. As simple as that. And I am super happy! What is romantic about it is that they care enough to make it happen.

I'm just a very straight forward communicator. A man will never have to play any guessing games with me. And with all that knowledge, they can either make it happen or leave, and decide if this is what they want too for themselves.

I mean especially in BDSM, there are women who claims they want to be treated like lower than dirt all the way. And women who needs the vanilla romantic aspect of it. So they have choices once they got full information.

I am also a woman who HATES surprises. My happiest things are things I said I wanted, and it happened precisely the way I wanted. Even good surprises does not make me happy.

My best friend recently surprised me with something I would have enjoyed alot actually, but it ruin my experience, because it was a surprise, and I didn't know about it before hand. So my reaction was less happy than he thought I would be. Even though, if I had knew about it, I'd have absolutely love it.

< Message edited by Greta75 -- 1/3/2017 6:02:01 PM >

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Post #: 49

RE: Romance is Dead - 1/3/2017 6:05:10 PM

Greta75

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DocStrange
Open doors for her
Bring her flowers
Bring her chocolates
Kiss her hand
Serenade her with music
Send her a hand written letter
Write her a poem
Compliment her on a new outfit, hair style, etc
Take her to a candle lit dinner
Walk her to her car after she gets off work

I agree those are romantic.
I especially love men who watch out for my safety and always want to make sure I get home safely. I think that's romantic.
I fucking love it when my man brings me chocolates. One time he bought me the Crave Necklace vibrator, and I was less appreciative of it than chocolates lol. I gave him back the necklace. Told him stick to chocolates!

< Message edited by Greta75 -- 1/3/2017 6:06:45 PM >

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RE: Romance is Dead - 1/3/2017 6:09:52 PM

Greta75

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quote:

ORIGINAL: peppermint
He tells me every day that he loves me and brings me a single rose regularly. The best thing is when he allowed this city girl to get the chickens I had wanted for 35 years. He would wake up at 4 am and sit at the window with his rifle when the fox was trying to eat the birds.

Now that is romance! Love the stories!

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Post #: 51

RE: Romance is Dead - 1/3/2017 6:13:26 PM

Greta75

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Real0ne
Glancing through the thread I am taking note that so far romance appears to be reserved for male dom female sub couples so far.

If it's a female domme and male sub, because the nature of a female domme is to demand gifts and whatever she wants already. It will make it very difficult for you to find something meaningful to do that would be romantic and has not been requested by her.
And the problem with that dynamic is you are suppose to do what she tells you anyway, that makes it less romantic.

Although I do tell my guys what I want, but it is up them to deliver it or not. Being the top, they still make the decisions what is yes and what is no. And it seems to feel more meaningful when they bother to do it.

As a male sub, you can't say no to anything.

It's different.

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RE: Romance is Dead - 1/3/2017 6:15:01 PM

DesFIP

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Not just maledom/femsubs. We spent New Year's Eve out with friends including a domme/malesub couple that held hands, kissed and slow danced with obvious affection.

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RE: Romance is Dead - 1/3/2017 6:18:59 PM

tamaka

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Not just maledom/femsubs. We spent New Year's Eve out with friends including a domme/malesub couple that held hands, kissed and slow danced with obvious affection.

I just got nauseas.

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Post #: 54

RE: Romance is Dead - 1/3/2017 6:50:44 PM

Greta75

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quote:

ORIGINAL: tamaka
I just got nauseas.

I love hearing about happy couples inlove and gooey with each other.

Even Isthar husband was super romantic, since he found a way to keep her, by using the excuse of a temporary fake marriage to save her because he wanted her.

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RE: Romance is Dead - 1/3/2017 6:54:11 PM

Wayward5oul

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75

quote:

ORIGINAL: tamaka
I just got nauseas.

I love hearing about happy couples inlove and gooey with each other.

Even Isthar husband was super romantic, since he found a way to keep her, by using the excuse of a temporary fake marriage to save her because he wanted her.

I dont think that's what she was referring to.

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Post #: 56

RE: Romance is Dead - 1/4/2017 5:49:46 AM

needlesandpins

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75

quote:

ORIGINAL: tamaka
I just got nauseas.

I love hearing about happy couples inlove and gooey with each other.

Even Isthar husband was super romantic, since he found a way to keep her, by using the excuse of a temporary fake marriage to save her because he wanted her.

tamaka is unaccepting of anything that isn't male dominated lead, and simply can't keep that bias to herself.

It's rather like a racist repeatedly saying they want to throw up every time they see a black guy with a white woman.

Needles

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RE: Romance is Dead - 1/4/2017 10:23:46 AM

UllrsIshtar

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75

quote:

ORIGINAL: tamaka
I just got nauseas.

I love hearing about happy couples inlove and gooey with each other.

Even Isthar husband was super romantic, since he found a way to keep her, by using the excuse of a temporary fake marriage to save her because he wanted her.

Not so temporary. We passed our 6th anniversary in November (and still ignored it). So we're still technically married.

But still fake, considering that our FC, was for the 5th time renewed last week, and that's the only thing we care about. The details of the dissolvement of the fake marriage is even one of the terms that's spelled out in our FC contract, in the case we wouldn't renew at the end of the year.

Although... I did find what would be my dream wedding dress in a second hand store a couple months ago. And so we're going to have a wedding ceremony (which we never had before, just a quicky justice of the peace during my husband's lunch break) this summer at Thunder in the Mountains (huge CO kink con we go to every year). With all our friends there. After which Zach's going to forcefully drag me off to the dungeon, and do a scene in which he rips and cuts the dress off me, and just all round 'defiles' the bride (hints about a gang bang have been dropped, yeah!).
So I am, after all these years, getting closer and closer to having a 'real' marriage, considering that I'm finally going to have a wedding, with friends there, and a reception, and cake, and a ceremony, and a wedding dress, etc, etc.

Which is another case of Zach being romantic btw, because when I found that dress, I just wanted to do the scene. But he insisted that he'll only do the scene if we have a ceremony reaffirming FC vows first, so that -even though we don't put any stock in the actual marriage- I'll still get to have my moment in the spotlight as a bride. *gloats*

Edited to add: So if all ya'll wanna come to my wedding, you're invited. Just gotta be at Thunder this summer.

< Message edited by UllrsIshtar -- 1/4/2017 10:26:42 AM >

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RE: Romance is Dead - 1/4/2017 10:33:16 AM

Lucylastic

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quote:

ORIGINAL: needlesandpins

quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75

quote:

ORIGINAL: tamaka
I just got nauseas.

I love hearing about happy couples inlove and gooey with each other.

Even Isthar husband was super romantic, since he found a way to keep her, by using the excuse of a temporary fake marriage to save her because he wanted her.

tamaka is unaccepting of anything that isn't male dominated lead, and simply can't keep that bias to herself.

It's rather like a racist repeatedly saying they want to throw up every time they see a black guy with a white woman.

Needles

One day Im going to tell her all about the 18 years I had with my pet. Online and off....

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RE: Romance is Dead - 1/4/2017 10:53:02 AM

DarkSteven

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75

quote:

ORIGINAL: tamaka
I just got nauseas.

I love hearing about happy couples inlove and gooey with each other.

Even Isthar husband was super romantic, since he found a way to keep her, by using the excuse of a temporary fake marriage to save her because he wanted her.

Um. Ishtar married the guy, became his sub, moved in with him, and helps parent his kids. I'm not sure how fake or temporary that is.

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The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

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