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smart ass answer - 12/5/2004 10:54:08 PM   
proudsub


Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
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The SMART-ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR "THE TEACHER "


A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam.

"Now, class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here
tomorrow.

I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or
illness, or

a death in your immediate family but that's it, no other excuses
whatsoever!"

A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asks, "What
would

you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and

utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class does its best to stifle
their

laughter and

snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher
smiles sympathetically at

the student, shakes her head, and sweetly says, "Well, I guess

you'd have to write the exam with your other hand!"



_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan

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RE: smart ass answer - 12/6/2004 3:32:20 AM   
BeachMystress


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Joined: 4/3/2004
From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
Status: offline

ROFLMAO.. Hey.. I've always wondered if a man uses the other hand, is it cheating on the normal hand? And is both hands considered a 3some?

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Beach Mystress
*Do not threaten the weak. Intimidate the strong. ~ Stevenson*
http://beachmystress.jigsy.com
http://www.flickr.com/photos/beachmystress/

(in reply to proudsub)
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RE: smart ass answer - 12/7/2004 8:53:14 AM   
happypervert


Posts: 2203
Joined: 5/11/2004
From: Scranton, PA
Status: offline
here's another that I just got in e-mail. Dunno if it is just a good story or true.
-----------------------
The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University of
Washington Chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound"
that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is,
of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Bonus Question:

Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Most of
the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools
when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One
student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass
of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are
moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we
can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave.
Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell,
let's look at the different Religions that exist in the world today. Most
of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion,
you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and
since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that
all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect
the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's
Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay
the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are
added.

This gives two possibilities: 1. If Hell is expanding at a slower
rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and
pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose. 2. If Hell is
expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the
temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over. So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year
that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you, and take into
account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be
true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen
over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it
follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore,
extinct...leaving only Heaven thereby proving the existence of a divine
being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"



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"Get a bicycle. You will not regret it if you live." . . . Mark Twain

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RE: smart ass answer - 12/7/2004 9:55:17 AM   
proudsub


Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline
WOW, pretty well thought out answer.

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan


(in reply to happypervert)
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RE: smart ass answer - 12/7/2004 10:33:32 PM   
rain


Posts: 319
Joined: 4/13/2004
Status: offline
LMAO, thanks for that one!

_____________________________

Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die today. - James Dean

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RE: smart ass answer - 12/8/2004 7:53:05 PM   
Suleiman


Posts: 1127
Joined: 9/9/2004
Status: offline
Actually, the problem with hell being exo or endo thermic is that most folks haven't got enough theological education to understand that there is both fire and ice in hell, as well as vortices of powerful winds which circulate energy from one layer to the next. Thus, hell is actually self-regulating, and neither expands nor contracts.

As to his sudden pronouncement of divine manifestation, all I can say is "never say never"

~S

_____________________________

Think of my verbosity as a sort of litmus test for our relationship. I write in a manner identical to how I speak and how I think. If you can not cope with what I have written here, it is probably for the best if we go our separate ways.

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