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remembering your tranformation - 2/8/2017 8:27:43 PM   
CelticPrince


Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline 		Regardless of how long you have been on our "bent" path can you recall the incident that made you realize
your needs were different in terms of relationships and sex.

Years ago there was a bit more of a common thread but no more. How old were you and how long did the first relationship last?

CP
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RE: remembering your tranformation - 2/8/2017 9:20:59 PM   
Greta75


Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
Status: offline 		I think there are two types of BDSM'ers.

Although through this site I have met many like me. Who was just naturally into BDSM since like the age I discovered I was into it. Some even had experiences like me, where our first plays was with our siblings as little kids. Back then, of course we were innocent and didn't know it's BDSM.

I knew I was into BDSM since I had memories. It's like breathing to me. This wasn't something I discovered.

I was into it since 5 yr old, that's the age where all my memories about my own life start.

I remembered I was already stripping and practicing bondage on barbie dolls. And whipping them.

So for me, it's always a part of my life and a part of me, and will never go away. Throughout my life with boys, I have constantly attempt to introduce tiny elements of BDSM into our plays depending on how I gauge their open-mindedness to it.

But throughout my life, I have discovered, BDSM is seriously a natural orientation. You can't force a vanilla to like it. You are into it or you are not. It either arouses you, or you feel disgust for it.

And yes, there may be late bloomers who only realise it much later. But it was somewhere in them all the while.

But my journey into finding my perfect BDSM mate has not been smooth. BDSM is too huge of an umbrella and to find people who shares identical kinks with you has been extremely difficult. Though I meet alot of people who likes some aspects of BDSM or are full pledged self-declared dominants. But kink compatibility is probably my biggest challenge.

I opt to try for pure vanilla. Gave it a go. Lasted 9 years. My lack of sexual satisfaction affected my x-husband, who I think the number 1 key thing he always tells me that, he feels like he is not enough for me sexually. Because honestly, the sex was completely unsatisfying for me, although I denied it throughout my marriage, as obviously you aren't tell your husband he can't satisfy you.

But he felt it. Even though we were perfect for each other outside the bedroom. So vanilla for me is completely out of the question now.

I remembered during my own marriage, I tried to satisfy myself by self-bondage and sometimes even self flagellation. Used to pissed off my x-husband so much that I did that. Even though it was just me and myself playing. Because he just doesn't understand why can't I just be happy with the normal sex we had, and I have to do all these extra things.

And to me, it was a win-win solution. We had a monogamous marriage. So I had those needs, I play with myself rather than someone else.

< Message edited by Greta75 -- 2/8/2017 9:32:42 PM >

(in reply to CelticPrince)
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RE: remembering your tranformation - 2/9/2017 9:57:05 AM   
CaptR


Posts: 425
Joined: 4/25/2012
Status: offline 		Personally I don't think there was a "transformation" as there was more an awakening to possibilities. That this lifestyle offered a place to engage in instinctive behavior it was a relief from vanilla relationship norms.

(in reply to CelticPrince)
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RE: remembering your tranformation - 2/9/2017 10:24:36 AM   
WickedsDesire


Posts: 9362
Joined: 11/4/2015
Status: offline 		i am who I have always been now fuk off...women may fall to their knees and send me titty pictures and bid for my loins and my mind….what say you feral bitches

(in reply to CaptR)
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RE: remembering your tranformation - 2/9/2017 11:05:25 AM   
WhoreMods


Posts: 10691
Joined: 5/6/2016
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CaptR

Personally I don't think there was a "transformation" as there was more an awakening to possibilities. That this lifestyle offered a place to engage in instinctive behavior it was a relief from vanilla relationship norms.

This.
If there was a single event that triggered the perv, then you're more likely a character in a piece of fetishy fiction than a real person.
(Sorry.)

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On the level and looking for a square deal.

(in reply to CaptR)
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RE: remembering your tranformation - 2/9/2017 11:11:13 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: WhoreMods


quote:

ORIGINAL: CaptR

Personally I don't think there was a "transformation" as there was more an awakening to possibilities. That this lifestyle offered a place to engage in instinctive behavior it was a relief from vanilla relationship norms.

This.
If there was a single event that triggered the perv, then you're more likely a character in a piece of fetishy fiction than a real person.
(Sorry.)


Yeah, for it wasn't an event triggered a transformation. It was the origination of the internet and AOL chatrooms (1995?) that made me realize that I wasn't alone, I wasn't some freak and that I could enjoy D/s and kink and lead a normal life.

_____________________________

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The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to WhoreMods)
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RE: remembering your tranformation - 2/9/2017 12:09:34 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		I find there is a great deal that is the same in both healthy vanilla and d/s relationships. They both need active listening skills, self awareness, clear communication, strong boundaries, fair fighting, compatibility and so on.

If you don't have them, it won't be a healthy relationship. Because healthy people have healthy relationships.

I needed to be heard and validated in my vanilla marriage and I need it in my power relationship. Except for some few areas, I don't need final authority. And I was clear what those areas were.

In terms of activities, that comes under compatibility.

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Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to OsideGirl)
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RE: remembering your tranformation - 2/9/2017 12:42:41 PM   
WickedsDesire


Posts: 9362
Joined: 11/4/2015
Status: offline 		Any bitches here? hark unto i on your fuking knees...do you really want me to cleave your brains from your skull WM less than a moment for me


Hello bitches make yourself known what about you OsideGirl who do you hark too feebles mutts breath I always wondered and your credentials other than pussy stinky quicksand

< Message edited by WickedsDesire -- 2/9/2017 12:44:49 PM >

(in reply to DesFIP)
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RE: remembering your tranformation - 2/9/2017 12:50:52 PM   
Lucylastic


Posts: 40310
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl


quote:

ORIGINAL: WhoreMods


quote:

ORIGINAL: CaptR

Personally I don't think there was a "transformation" as there was more an awakening to possibilities. That this lifestyle offered a place to engage in instinctive behavior it was a relief from vanilla relationship norms.

This.
If there was a single event that triggered the perv, then you're more likely a character in a piece of fetishy fiction than a real person.
(Sorry.)


Yeah, for it wasn't an event triggered a transformation. It was the origination of the internet and AOL chatrooms (1995?) that made me realize that I wasn't alone, I wasn't some freak and that I could enjoy D/s and kink and lead a normal life.

This....

And a long history of "sexual exploration" and then the interwebs...95 ish......




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(•_•)
<) )> WOMAN
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Duchess Of Dissent
Dont Hate Love

(in reply to OsideGirl)
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RE: remembering your tranformation - 2/9/2017 1:01:04 PM   
WickedsDesire


Posts: 9362
Joined: 11/4/2015
Status: offline 		I tend to leave the one called whoremods alone - that animal shows promise, and an IQ above 80, what one of you bitches have approached it with a fanny of hunger and on your fuking knees in awe

Cheeked me up a few times that one and I wanted to smash his feeble brains in with a blunt rock .

I can assure you all I am the last remnant of time itself..

(in reply to WickedsDesire)
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RE: remembering your tranformation - 2/9/2017 1:09:14 PM   
WickedsDesire


Posts: 9362
Joined: 11/4/2015
Status: offline 		I was the first of the three and the last of the third x 12 years do I have a taker

(in reply to WickedsDesire)
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RE: remembering your tranformation - 2/9/2017 1:41:05 PM   
CelticPrince


Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline 		Greta,

Thanks for a really well thought out reply, that helps others that might be timid about posting join in.

CP

(in reply to Greta75)
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RE: remembering your tranformation - 2/9/2017 1:42:20 PM   
CelticPrince


Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline 		Capit,

Was there a trigger for you?

CP

(in reply to CaptR)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: remembering your tranformation - 2/9/2017 2:37:54 PM   
CaptR


Posts: 425
Joined: 4/25/2012
Status: offline 		No trigger. It just always felt right and something I wanted.
Side note:
I'm saying this in a nice way .... I need a WD decoder. I'm fucked if I understand anything he says... ever 😁.

(in reply to CelticPrince)
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RE: remembering your tranformation - 2/9/2017 3:19:46 PM   
kiwisub22


Posts: 450
Joined: 7/16/2016
Status: offline 		Mine wasn't so much a transformation was a realization that there were actually real live people that did what my favourite erotic books talked about (well, maybe did in a somewhat milder version)

I have always been a people pleaser, and married a dominating man, which didn't work out so well (because I didn't want to be beaten into submission, I wanted a mutual benefit relationship)
Once I got over the whole asshole thing - took 10 years - I discovered the internet and collarme. I met my dom on collarme, and basically moved in with him after two weeks. We were together until he died.
I was 50 - and angry that I didn't find out about bdsm when I was 20. It seemed to me that I wasted most of my life in substandard relationships, and I mourned the person I could have been.

However, because of bdsm I discovered two of the loveliest men I could have imagined. In fact, after my divorce, I would have bet you money that men were all arseholes and not one of them was worth anything. I discovered I was so wrong - there are men out there that are as wonderful as my ex. was horrible. Amazing!

(in reply to CaptR)
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RE: remembering your tranformation - 2/9/2017 6:05:34 PM   
CelticPrince


Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline 		kiwisub,

As I am certain that you realize; your not alone in that chain of events. I would posture a guess that perhaps 75% of path walkers over 40 years old when they came to the path went through the same sort of events
perhaps not with a death but other things equal. Yes there are many good males on the path that understand the power dynamics and accept them with responsibility.
Glad it worked out for you, and thanks for your input.

CP

(in reply to kiwisub22)
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RE: remembering your tranformation - 2/10/2017 12:16:30 AM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline 		I think I was born an aggressive Dominant... they didn't even spank me when I was born. I got a massage instead.

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-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.

(in reply to CelticPrince)
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RE: remembering your tranformation - 2/10/2017 3:59:48 AM   
WhoreMods


Posts: 10691
Joined: 5/6/2016
Status: offline
I like that line.

_____________________________

On the level and looking for a square deal.

(in reply to ResidentSadist)
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