Noah
Posts: 1660
Joined: 7/5/2005
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quote:
ORIGINAL: ArdRi
When first replying to a potential sub/slave, I almost always specify that I would like to know some details about their appearance. I am really interested in eye colour, for example. Am I the only one who feels that a description of physical appearance should be included in all profiles? It saves a lot of time.
I think profiles reveal a lot, much of it unintentional. The reasons people leave off physical descriptions and pictures are many and various. I feel these reasons should be respected.
I think it would be juvenile and sad to enforce rules about things like "what should be included in all profiles."
I suppose that I could choose to view any non-lesbian woman as a "potential partner" but why in the hell would I want to drop people into this category, or any category, before I have even encountered them?
When I encounter a woman it is important to me to start with it on those terms. Open, with room for sponteneity and for things to go in whatever direction thay may. There is a special energy associated with first meeting. I'd rather let it flow, because it tickles me, than harness it to a system of sluiceways and watergates.
I may contact a stranger with some degree of hunch that something might evolve between us in terms of a special relationship. If I'm really interested I might even send her Letter Number Seven, from which there is no known escape. But unless and until something has happened between us, some spark has sparked and we've both noticed it, well we are simply two people. And the opportunity to make genuine contact with another human being in this culture of ours is a thing to be valued in itself, not steam-rollered in the quest for a partner.
I find questing in general to be emotionally immature but that is beside the point of this thread.
Most often when I choose to contact someone it is not any part of plan to end up together. I like contact, physical, emotional, intellectual, platonic
sardonic and stereophonic. I'm choosy about who I share it with but I try not to be too quick to lock doors I haven't seen the other side of.
It stands to reason that almost everyone you could possibly meet would turn out to be someone you wouldn't end up with. If that bums you out it shouldn't, any more than you should be sad that almost any house you will ever see is one you won't own and reside in.
It's just the way things are.
Rather than check them off like cyphers only to proceed to the next meet, greet, and delete why not open your eyes to the possibilities? Look straight into her eyes, as it were, whether she's told you what color they are or not. Take a look at who she is and show her who you are. If there is mutual interest on that level the concerns you posted about will resolve themselves ever so quickly with no effort on your part.
I find that most women are quite willing to change eye color for me anyway after a half-dozen e-mails or so.
That whole "getting a sub is a numbers game, the trick is to process potentials efficiently" well, I can see it working with a small slice of the general demographic, but not with any of the interesting women.
It is a QED thing for me. Any woman dewy-eyed enough to fall for a spam marketing first approach is de facto not interesting enough to send a carbon copy to. And "here are the things I need answered right now in simple declarative sentences if you expect to hear from me again" is the sort of things that smells more like a lame troller than a hay-roller.
Over the years I have read a lot of first emails to highly desireable submissives, those being mine. I read a couple today. Someone who is just on a shopping expedition or busy "processing potentials" is pretty easy to spot, if you ask me. And uninteresting at best, laughable at worst to the women with the most to offer. This by teir own testimony.
I realize that I have touched on notions unrelated to your post and I don't mean to attribute to you that SINCE you want the description up front THEREFORE you are the numbers game, prospecting, processing type. I apologize if I left that impression. I used your post as a basis to talk about some ideas that I see as related.
Maybe you can view the description business as an element of the power exchange dance at it's earliest level. Won't it be more gratifying to you when she spontaneously offers a detailed description and copious pictures just because she can no longer stand not to than if she just does because "... mostly everybody seems to and maybe I should too, I guess."?
Believe me, ArdRi, besides being a mostly pleasant and usually meaingiful endeavor in itself, this approach I'm advocating will afford you more than your share of opportunities find out what color their eyes are. And sundry other features too.
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