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Suleiman -> RE: SoulMates...? (12/11/2004 6:08:08 PM)
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::runs screaming for the hills:: Gaaah! I'm being haunted by this topic! Help me! I came here to get away from this line of discussion!
(Okay, so why am I responding then, instead of avoiding it? Just masochistic, I guess)
The concept of soul-mates comes from the pop metaphysics version of the idea of reincarnation and transmigration of souls. The basic idea is that certian souls travel together from incarnation to incarnation. In each lifetime, these souls meet up, in whatever role or body they are karmically destined to play. Two strangers meet, and find they have a deep and abiding understanding of one another, as if they've always known one another.
Since the 60s, give or take, this has been further mutilated into a new myth about "twue wuv". Ignoring the fact that soul mates frequently have so much backed up and unresolved karmic issues that they often despise one another in mortal life (Imagine being married for a thousand years, and you can't get a divorce until you've squared away all of the debts, positive and negative, until neither of you owes the other anything), some folks have become enamored of the idea that there is a perfect someone, a "soul mate", who is their best friend, confidante, and lover all rolled into one. Of course this person will also be of the correct gender and orientation, since this is the "soul mate" we're talking about.
It's a wonderfully romantic fantasy (and as I often say, I'm generally a fan of romance and fantasy, so you'd think I would have a less harsh opinion about this. You folks have read my comments that I am occasionally a very trollish sort? Occultism and metaphysics is where most of where my piss and vinegar reside) but it's a fantasy based on slipshod research and a complete lack of undeerstanding of the principals involved. It's as infuriating as someone rattling a tip jar at a local coffee house and saying that it's "karma". Or, for that matter, the general concept of "instant karma", the idea that the universal scales balance themselves, not just in one lifetime, but (to hear some anecdotal accounts) almost within the hour! ARGH!
::sigh:: (okay man, get a grip, these folks mostly don't care about your epic battle against fluffbunnies)
It is indeed possible to find the perfect person for you. Obviously, I don't use the term soulmate for this optimal (and optional) "One". I'm actually fairly convinced that my wife and I have never had a single prior incarnation with each other - which is probably why we get along so well together. Call it "karmic honeymoon syndrome", if you will.
The first thing you must know, if you are going to actively seek this "One", is to truly understand who you are and what you need. Once you understand that, you will then have a solid idea of what attributes are required in you "One". The rest of the process is just sorting frog from prince, like everyone else. The difference is that you have a finer sieve for separating wheat from chaff, and so you don't waste as much time in relationships that really aren't what you happen to be looking for.
Yes, it is concievable that you will put together a list of criteria that can not be met. There are six billion people in the world, an overwhelming majority of whom will never be met by you. However finisky you list may be, there is a good chance that a match exists, but the circumstances of your search may make it impossible for you to find them. However, even without this hypothetical perfect mate, it is still possible to use your list (with a bit of prioritization as to which items are mandatory and which are more like bonuses or soft limits) to help you determine which lovers are better suited to your tastes and needs, which will, I guarantee you, save you from a lot of angst, grief, and melodrama over the years (unless angst, grief, and melodrama happen to be one of those things you need in your life, in which case I suggest accepting that fact and embracing it, so as to control what sorts of melodrama you get sucked into).
Any way, that's probably too much information for a casual topic of discussion, but the dander was rising and I had to snap off an answer. It could be worse - you might have asked about sure-fire love spells (if there was such a thing, then why are there whole books full of nothing but love spells on sale in the occult section of every book store?)
Take care.
~S
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