Why?

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RiotGirl -> Why? (12/6/2004 5:33:05 PM)
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Quivver -> RE: Why? (12/6/2004 5:47:17 PM)
RiotGirl, I tend to agree with you. With my being so new green so to speak at this lifestyle I saw entering it as a lesson my soul needs to progress, find it's base and grow into a better human in MY eyes. quote: ORIGINAL: RiotGirl Really though, is it all about the greatest ultimate sexual satisfaction? Or am i wrong in thinking it is the greatest ultimate achievement of the human soul. But, living in this Kinky shell of mine, I appreciate the sexual part also. [;)] For me the untimate will be a combigned effort if and or when I am lucky enough to find it.

RiotGirl -> RE: Why? (12/6/2004 6:15:32 PM)
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Wolfsbabygirlz -> RE: Why? (12/6/2004 6:18:22 PM)
Greetings to you .....Perfectly said I thought, and I'm thrilled to have found my perfect Dom who, like me, believes in monogmous only, has high morals, and respect for me. I'm not interested in it being all about sex, to me it's a way of life, the sex is just a bonus. well thats just my opinion right or wrong. thanks for your time! Wolfsbabygirlz =)

MistressFire70 -> RE: Why? (12/6/2004 6:24:41 PM)
you are certainly not alone. Some of us view this lifestyle as a calling...to Mastery, to slavery, to being a pup or a bootblack. Since you're from Florida, may I suggest that you and your Master attend a LIFESTYLE event? Here are a few that I have attended before: Southeast Leather Fest in Atlanta http://www.seleatherfest.com/ Together in Leather (totally dedicated to relationship and spirituality) http://togetherinleather.org/ Menamore's Lion's Pride (website needs updating but email info is here) http://leathernews.slavepix.com/nuke/modules.php?name=News&file=print&sid=89 Also, there is a MAsT (Master And slaves Together) chapter in Jacksonville. Hopefully, that's somewhere near you. http://mast.net/jaxvil/index.htm Hope all this helps. Fire - called to be a Master

LadyShoshin -> RE: Why? (12/6/2004 6:33:46 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RiotGirl Why does it seem that everyone or so far the majority, refer to BDSM, or the Lifestyle as a purely sexual thing? Yes it has its own unique sexual ideas, but is it for the majority of the ppl on here just about sex? Is there no "lifestyle" to it? Is it not a way they live? i just seem to get the impression that everyone just meets up in hotel rooms to get their groove on......... In the other post about telling friends in families, it was all "i dont discuss my sex life" Why not discuss your way of life? In some of the posts in the past - raising families, it was all about sex again. Really though, is it all about the greatest ultimate sexual satisfaction? Or am i wrong in thinking it is the greatest ultimate achievement of the human soul. When I was very new to real time a Domintrix took me under her wing to train me as a submissive. She said she wasn't going to teach me to screw, I was already good at that, she was going to teach me pure S/M and put me on a 6 month no sex restriction. What followed was an intense training for 6 months in the arts & skills of BDSM with no sex. I tend to play with friends with whom there is no sex, it can be very sensual play, but no sex, none, nada, zip. I haven't had sex really (fooling around with my one of my subs once isn't sex) since last January, but I play at least twice a month in public and 3 or 4 times a month at home with one or another of my subs. My play partners are very happy with the way things are, both male & female. My subs of course look forward to pleasuring me, but they have to earn it. So far only one has once. So for me & for most of the BDSM community members I know, it is not about the sex.

RiotGirl -> RE: Why? (12/6/2004 7:21:44 PM)
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sub4hire -> RE: Why? (12/6/2004 8:48:24 PM)
I think most people in today's society find the lifestyle while in a chat room, lonely and bored. A bit horny. Sex just sort of fits in. If we took a poll as to how many people learned about the lifestyle the percentage would probably be way up there from online interaction. Just my guess. Anyway, the lifestyle has little to do with sex in my mind. While I do like sex to be part of a scene with my Dom, it certainly is not necessary. I know many who never get sexual at all ever in scenes.

Kinkypupper -> RE: Why? (12/6/2004 10:21:57 PM)
For many "wannabes" its strictly sex. Yet it has the potential to go much much further then "just" sex. Just as Bondage and "discipline" can take a female to places that its almost impossable for a "vanilla" female to comprehend or understand. The "idea" of "flying" or "subspace" is uniquely a great gift. and does NOT have to have anything to do with "sex" in the normal terms. For those few people who want "more" its there and when I see such a partnering I am most jealous and envious.

honeyedsin -> RE: Why? (12/7/2004 10:29:42 AM)
For me BDSM is separate from the bedroom play. For many reasons. I find after a few years of getting light play in exchange for the pleasure of giving them a blow job, that I much prefer scening with out the sex or pressure of performing later on. That the play is more mutual is great and I get higher levels of play. I'm almost reluctant to add the sex back in after having played for so long now with out it <smile> Sindy

perverseangelic -> RE: Why? (12/7/2004 3:07:02 PM)
Heck, I veiw BDSM as a sexual thing because to me it is extrememly sexually exiciting. Sure, there is more to it for me, however I won't discredit the fact that it brings me a great deal of sexual pleasure and enjoyment. I don't beileve that in saying BDSM/power exchange is a mental interaction that one needs to disregard the sexual pleasure it brings. I personally believe that even those who never have sexual contact during play often recieve sexual gratification through it. I don't see this as a bad thing.

collarmepls -> RE: Why? (12/7/2004 5:32:00 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RiotGirl Why does it seem that everyone or so far the majority, refer to BDSM, or the Lifestyle as a purely sexual thing? ---------------- i just seem to get the impression that everyone just meets up in hotel rooms to get their groove on......... ---------------- Why not discuss your way of life? ---------------- Or am i wrong in thinking it is the greatest ultimate achievement of the human soul. i believe the greater majority of people dont understand what drives them to this lifestyle and if they were examined closely would most likely discover that sex plays a much larger role than they ever would have imagined in driving them to maintain a bdsm lifestyle. What else could have the kind force needed to drive a person to beg and thrive on being beaten or to give up their entire life and fortune to live as a slave to serve another person without intercourse in some cases. Why choose to serve a man or woman or both? If it had nothing to do with sex who would care? How many sub woman "dont" get an orgasm from a masterfully performed session? i am sure there may be an exception here and there but all i have known get fantastic orgasms. How many Domme women dont get orgasms from performing a session? Yet we all go to work day after day and will go on strike for higher wages and would you ever imagine much less consider working for any business for free. Why? Not to much sex going on while working for a business. Why not be a slave to a business? Say general motors for instance. We can all make cars because we find fulfillment with it. What is the difference between the two but sex? Oh i am not saying intercourse, because some people have adapted to accept a large variety of levels of sexual gratification many of which do not include intercourse. How many times do we want to split the hair you know? Ganted there are other forces at work here as well but none compare with that of sex imo. Unfortunately you are right, all to many simply meet up for sex but then i think that is true in all other styles as well. i think in its ideal state its about the greatest spiritual connection to another as the foundation or root system and from that root grows all else and results in the greatest or ultimately awesome sexual experience with all else included as well, or at least that has been my experience with it. At first thought i would guess the bible, as up to and since i dont recall noting a single word created, (inthe english language), that carries the profoundness of the human soul as that of the word "love" as well as the great philosphers i would personally feel have contributed the greatest achievements of the human soul but in as much as sex and/in bdsm is concerned i would agree that it can be a poweful catalyst for the greatest personal achievement of sexuality, sensuality, and spiritual connection to another on all levels of our human experience. i didnt comment on the families and friends post but i personally dont disclose my proclivities to my family only because it would hurt them. They are very old fashioned and why cause them the distress and pain especially since what goes on in the bedroom really is none of their bees wax anyway. i suppose if i got a sex change i wouldnt have a choice :) The best that could happen is that they woulf think i am nuts so with that what good could possibly be been accomplished? Coming out of the closet to my family? i surely dont need too for my sake. So in conclusion i would agree with You riot gurl that one could legitimately say bdsm is fundamentally, "mostly", about sex, it may not outwardly appear that way to those who do not have intercourse, and in these situations i believe it becomes more of a certain level or different level of sex but sex nonetheless. cheers slave

feline -> RE: Why? (12/7/2004 6:22:04 PM)
quote: Why does it seem that everyone or so far the majority, refer to BDSM, or the Lifestyle as a purely sexual thing? Maybe that's how they see it. quote: but is it for the majority of the ppl on here just about sex? I can't speak for the majority. I can only speak for myself. It's about servitude. In whatever way that happens to be within my limits. quote: Is there no "lifestyle" to it? What do you mean by "no lifestyle to it", that can mean so many different things to so many different people. quote: Is it not a way they live? Everyone has their own conceptions of this"lifestyle." Perhaps they feel they are living it, in their own terms. quote: In the other post about telling friends in families, it was all "i dont discuss my sex life" If that's the same post I answered to, I do believe I said "What goes on in my house is my business." quote: Why not discuss your way of life? I do, with others who share the same interests that I do. example; I don't want an avid football fan discussing football with me anymore then he would want me to discuss needlepoint with him. I would have to agree with Gloria on the comment of "If we took a poll as to how many people learned about the lifestyle the percentage would probably be way up there from online interaction." Take care, [image]local://upfiles/17000/581E810CD81C45099E18E2D916EC5EC4.gif[/image]

LadyPatrice -> RE: Why? (12/7/2004 6:57:04 PM)
Hmmm. I had to think about your question for awhile. Good question because I think many times people get involved because they have sexual needs. BDSM is a turn-on. Ah yes, <she smiles> but I also play without being sexual....and it is only the chosen few who get in my bed...<eg>as a lesbian I am not interested in sex with men but love to play with them. Sometimes women will contact me and simply assume one thing leads to another and it does not. Good communication beforehand is necessary. Lady Patrice

Suleiman -> RE: Why? (12/7/2004 8:49:28 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RiotGirl Really though, is it all about the greatest ultimate sexual satisfaction? Or am i wrong in thinking it is the greatest ultimate achievement of the human soul. I find this line of questioning interesting, because I consider sexual intercourse to be a major aspect of my spiritual being. You seem to say that to most people BDSM is mere sexuality. I propose that there is nothing "mere" about sex! I have studied trancendental meditation, body manipulation, and many other forms of spirituality. In my life, I have only a few true ecstatic experiences, where I truly believe that I trancended my material body and expanded my consciousness to touch some fragment of the divine all. Once came to me as I meditated. Once came to me in a moment of personal tribulation. Twice because of an orgasm, and half a dozen or more times as part of a scene. When I say "Oh my god!" when I'm ejaculating, I am bloody well adressing the divine mystery in a personal and intimate way. As to the concept of "sex" versus "lifestyle", once again, I think you underestimate the value and importance of sex. More than one philosopher has stated some variation on the truism, "every achievement of the human race has been created to impress the opposite sex". All of my greatest achievements have been about nookie. All of my wife's greatest achievements have been about nookie. Damn near everyone I know has pushed themselves past their percieved limits in an effort to get layed. Mice have become lions because that special someone was being threatened. Mooks have become poets because they needed to impress that special someone. Slackers have gotten jobs which became careers, just so they could have the cash to go out on a date. And yes, most of us don't want to discuss our sex life with people who are not truly intimate with us. Sex runs deep down to the very core of our being. It is a primal motivation, and because of that it is highly intimate. It is only reasonable that a person is unwilling to admit how far they are willing to go for the right person. One of the major reasons that so many guys won't say "I love you" is beause of the admission of vulnerability involved. This is a seriously uncomfortable subject for a good 70% or more of the human race. So yes, I have to say, it is all about the sex. Something so base and earthy does indeed cause us to aspire to our loftiest goals and greatest spiritual heights.

Lordandmaster -> RE: Why? (12/7/2004 8:53:59 PM)
Why do these have to be two separate things? quote: ORIGINAL: RiotGirl Really though, is it all about the greatest ultimate sexual satisfaction? Or am i wrong in thinking it is the greatest ultimate achievement of the human soul.

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