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First Time - 12/6/2004 6:49:46 PM   
meltona2


Posts: 8
Joined: 12/5/2004
Status: offline 		Hey,
I plan on meeting a Dom tomorrow. I have never had any real life experiance with this type of thing. any advice to make things go better tomorrow?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: First Time - 12/6/2004 7:15:08 PM   
proudsub


Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline 		These threads may help:

first meeting guidelines

first time jitters

Hope it goes well for you.

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan


(in reply to meltona2)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: First Time - 12/6/2004 7:23:56 PM   
MistressFire70


Posts: 378
Joined: 7/25/2004
From: North Carolina
Status: offline 		A safe call...a safe call...a safe call!

If you have a kinky friend: tell them where you're going, who you will be with, give them a picture if you have it (you should, by now). Set up a time that you call them or they call you. Think of an ordinary phrase, like "Jennifer is doing fine" that you can say to them that means you are in trouble and to call the cops.

If you have a vanilla friend: put all the stuff in an evelope and set up the call as usual. Make sure they know you want the sealed envelope back if everything goes ok. If things go wrong, they know to open the envelope and call the cops with the info.

Make sure you're meeting in a public place the first time around. Don't go anywhere that someone doesn't know where you are. Resist the urge to follow him home and play. If he's real, he'll respect your decisions.

Fire

_____________________________

you have come to a great chasm. Jump. It's not as wide as you think.

(in reply to meltona2)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: First Time - 12/6/2004 7:36:10 PM   
LadyShoshin


Posts: 492
Joined: 7/19/2004
From: Burlington, Ontario
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: meltona2

Hey,
I plan on meeting a Dom tomorrow. I have never had any real life experiance with this type of thing. any advice to make things go better tomorrow?


I agree with the advice you have been given, SAFE CALL!!!! When the meeting is over let him leave the parking lot first and make sure you aren't followed home. Don't go anywhere else with him without letting your safe call know the details. No sex & no play, stand firm on that, if he tries to pressure you, leave! If he is so charming that he makes your knees weak & says all the right things about respecting limits and insists on play that day - LEAVE . Don't give him the opportunity to talk you out of your resolve.


_____________________________

PHLOX: “It’s unethical for a doctor to cause harm...I can inflict as much pain as I like.”

(in reply to meltona2)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: First Time - 12/6/2004 7:39:33 PM   
proudsub


Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline 		I believe this is a male sub meeting a Domme, but the safety issues still apply.

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan


(in reply to LadyShoshin)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: First Time - 12/6/2004 9:47:49 PM   
LadyShoshin


Posts: 492
Joined: 7/19/2004
From: Burlington, Ontario
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: proudsub

I believe this is a male sub meeting a Domme, but the safety issues still apply.


Ahhhh, their use of the word Dom confused me.
Yes, safety protocols still apply. As a Domme, I insist on a 2 day cooling off period after a meeting for both to process how things went.

Meeting a Domme, may I suggest a single rose, a respectful kiss of her hand. Pull out chairs, open doors, check Emily Post for gentleman's manners. http://www.creativequotations.com/one/1214.htm


_____________________________

PHLOX: “It’s unethical for a doctor to cause harm...I can inflict as much pain as I like.”

(in reply to proudsub)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: First Time - 12/6/2004 10:07:09 PM   
Kinkypupper


Posts: 713
Joined: 9/26/2004
From: Portland oregon
Status: offline 		BE YOURSELF.
trust in your intuition and "inner voice"
Just because he is a "Dom" that does not mean that he cannot be polite and courtious
If he wants to collar you "NOW" do not walk.. run..
He needs to earn your trust and gift.
Yoo need to earn his trust and respect.


_____________________________

Phil Moulton
A Sensual Touch
Locopony Racing
Portland Oregon

(in reply to meltona2)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: First Time - 12/7/2004 12:05:12 AM   
cariad


Posts: 943
Joined: 9/25/2004
From: Calgary, Alberta
Status: offline 		as was said before Safe Call, Safe Call, Safe Call, meet in public, take a friend if possible and make sure to make the calls at the set time your friend and you agree upon.

call before, during and after the meeting....make sure you have an idea of what He looks like and let Your friends know this and what His first and last real names are, things like that.........NEVER EVER under any circumstances go back to His place until you get to know Him and He you. even then have safe calls set up and let people know where you are going.




Attachment (1)

_____________________________

The Path To Being A Good slave Takes Hard Work, A Willingness To Learn, Ability To Take Criticism and the Ability To Take Punishments Well. i Am Still Learning So Please Be Patient With me, As i Walk the Path to Being A good slave. SLRN: 742 958 000

(in reply to Kinkypupper)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: First Time - 12/7/2004 10:58:47 PM   
proudsub


Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline 		So meltona how about telling us how the meeting went.

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan


(in reply to meltona2)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: First Time - 12/8/2004 11:20:34 AM   
meltona2


Posts: 8
Joined: 12/5/2004
Status: offline 		well, eather i got stood up or She got lost, in a accident or something like that. so i guess the question now is what do i do? do i wait for Her to contact me or should i try to get ahold of Her?

(in reply to proudsub)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: First Time - 12/8/2004 11:41:20 AM   
BeachMystress


Posts: 2156
Joined: 4/3/2004
From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
Status: offline
I am so sorry this happened to you. In my experience, it is common to be stood up by online contacts. With all the subs who are unhappy because they can't find a Domme, when I was willing to meet people from online, I was stood up for a first meeting more than half the time. There are a lot of players in this lifestyle. I've even run into men pretending to be Dominant Women. I'm not sure what that does for them.. but it happens. You can't just assume that the missed meeting was malicious. Do send a short note asking what happened. In my experience though, if someone misses a meeting legitimately, they send a msg as soon as they are able. I'd not set up a second meeting with this person where you go out of your way to meet them.

Do yourself a favor and find a real time group to join. http://groups.yahoo.com/group/MichiganMunches/ has a list of munches throughout Michigan. Good Hunting.

_____________________________

Beach Mystress
*Do not threaten the weak. Intimidate the strong. ~ Stevenson*
http://beachmystress.jigsy.com
http://www.flickr.com/photos/beachmystress/

(in reply to meltona2)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: First Time - 12/8/2004 1:56:18 PM   
proudsub


Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline
quote:

well, eather i got stood up or She got lost, in a accident or something like that. so i guess the question now is what do i do? do i wait for Her to contact me or should i try to get ahold of Her?


I'm sorry to hear that. It seems to happen a lot with meeting online friends. I would send her a note, ask if you had the right time and place and tell her you're sorry she didn't make it. I am curious, have you seen her on webcam?

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan


(in reply to meltona2)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: First Time - 12/8/2004 8:41:35 PM   
Nvernilla


Posts: 303
Joined: 10/1/2004
Status: offline 		Meet in public and never go unpublic till you are sure...Mike

(in reply to meltona2)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: First Time - 12/8/2004 9:51:34 PM   
meltona2


Posts: 8
Joined: 12/5/2004
Status: offline 		just thought id let Y/you all know that she got in an accident on the way here, she is ok, but it kinda ruined O/our plans.

(in reply to Nvernilla)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: First Time - 12/8/2004 11:57:11 PM   
BeachMystress


Posts: 2156
Joined: 4/3/2004
From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
Status: offline
*tries to bottle up the cynic and fails* Did she contact you with this information or did she respond to something you sent? I fell for this sort of thing a few times when I was newer to meeting subs. One told me he'd been in an accident (and on Cali highways.. that one is always a good one) and another told me his father had a heart attack. Strangely, both of them stood me up again when I gave them a second chance. After that I was VERY vocal before meeting that if they missed the first meeting or had to cancel, I did not reschedule. I'd wait 15 mins for them, so they had better plan for traffic. I also insisted upon a cell phone number before I'd set foot out the door. There are always going to be flakes, players and time wasters. All you can do is try to minimize them. Now, I no longer go out of my way to meet a sub. They show up at a munch I attend or they don't get to meet me. Makes life easy.

It is odd to be saying I hope she really was in an accident, because I'm not the type to wish ill on strangers. I do hope that it was an unavoidable missed meeting and that when you reschedule (after getting her cell phone number) the meeting goes well.

_____________________________

Beach Mystress
*Do not threaten the weak. Intimidate the strong. ~ Stevenson*
http://beachmystress.jigsy.com
http://www.flickr.com/photos/beachmystress/

(in reply to meltona2)
Profile   Post #: 15
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