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long distance relationships - 7/25/2006 6:46:58 PM

babygirltaylor

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Joined: 7/13/2006
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hi there everyone, i am new to all of this but have met Someone very special on collarme.com, the only problem is He lives in LA and i live alllllllll the way over the ocean in South Australia. Wwe will most definately be meeting rl when i can finish my studies, 18 months away. any tips on how to go about long distance until then? it will be really appreciated.
thanks everyone!
xoxo taylor diane

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RE: long distance relationships - 7/25/2006 6:50:59 PM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
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Congrats on meeting someone. Thats not easy nowadays, online or off. Personally, I am embarking (possibly) on a LD relationship of my own. The key... communication. You have to talk, and talk often, whether it is online, on the phone, email... Make sure you have enough in common to keep the lines of communication open, and you should be very happy together.
Good luck
DV

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RE: long distance relationships - 7/25/2006 6:55:03 PM

Littlepita

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Joined: 10/6/2005
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Tons and tons of communication is essential. Find things to do together like posting on forums, playing games, online shopping for fun, write fiction together, write journals or blogs and share them. It's hard to keep a LDR going for a long time and the closer you get the more the longing will grow. I think it can be very worth it if you are both right for each other and truly dedicated to making it work. Best of luck.

_____________________________

“I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.” – Anais Nin

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RE: long distance relationships - 7/25/2006 7:16:21 PM

SavageEu

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Joined: 7/8/2006
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18 months is a long time, try not to think about it that way though. Just know that for today you get to know each other and you have that special relationship. Really it is about making the day special for you and him so that it is not that you are apart, it is that you are spending another day closer to your goal.

I wish you the best of luck.

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RE: long distance relationships - 7/25/2006 7:22:23 PM

mystic666

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Joined: 7/14/2006
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First off keep all and any lines of communication wide open between you. If you can at least one phone call a week, if not e mails every day even just to say hi to him. Write a journal and send it to him so he knows your thoughts and what you are feeling. When you are happy or sad, or even angry at him. He needs to know all this.
Do you have yahoo or msn messenger, if so use them as often as possible. In yahoo you can leave each other little messages of thinking of you or something like that.
Ask him to give you a routine , I have one each day and it really does help me to feel closer to him. Feel his control over me.

Hope these suggestions help out. Keep the faith and trust , and be patient :). Best of luck

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RE: long distance relationships - 7/25/2006 7:25:28 PM

bbwsubinma

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Joined: 7/16/2006
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An electronic journal that you share with your Dom can be a very useful communication tool... Try to make an entry every day or at least every other day. Share the highlights of your day, your emotions, dreams, etc.

I find it helps if you also discuss your journal entries in other conversations - then you don't feel like you're writing in a void. It's one of the reasons I stopped keeping one... I was never sure that it was being read and so I stopped making the effort. There are times that I regret that decision.

Spending time in chatrooms together and Instant Messaging help if the expense of phone calls becomes prohibitive. Best of luck to you and your Dom!

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RE: long distance relationships - 7/25/2006 7:58:16 PM

diamonddreamlove

Posts: 770
Joined: 5/19/2006
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My first Master was online for almost a year before we met. It stayed fresh because we made it happen. It takes a lot of work to keep long distance together but is well worth the effort. Unfortunately we ended when i decided i needed more realtime. I am still sad and miss Him but is not good for me to continue to chat with Him often now.

Good luck

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"Many attempts to communicate are nullified by saying too much." Robert Greenleaf

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RE: long distance relationships - 7/25/2006 8:35:11 PM

Kagesuta

Posts: 36
Joined: 9/15/2005
From: Da Druben
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My first relationship was long-distance, and I've sworn them off since then. Not because I didn't care about the person, but because we both decided that it was just a whole lot of pain and not a lot of fun. Sometimes, I wonder what could've happened... Then I realize I was 16, and at that time, I was ready to fall in love with any girl who spoke to me. Heck, I'd settle for any girl who stood within 20 feet of me.

That's not the case now, of course. I generally shoot for a good 10 to 15 feet, nowadays.

Back to the point. I think a really important thing is to maintain a balance in your life. Don't spend the whole day sitting around, watching tv or otherwise wasting time because you're waiting for them to contact you. I don't know if it happens to everyone, but I know it put me in a rut reeeal fast.
At the same time, it's not a good idea to become distant. It's really a difficult tightwalk between caring deeply for the person, but also having a life of your own. If you can manage that, I'm sure you'll do fine until you can meet up.

That is, assuming you don't get taken down by a rogue wombat before then.

Best of luck, mate!

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RE: long distance relationships - 7/25/2006 8:36:00 PM

akisha

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Joined: 6/25/2005
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I was very attached to someone in Australia for almost a year, (I'm in Canada) We realized for us to ever be together in a r/t relationship would be extremely hard and to immigrate is damn near impossible these days so we decided to just be freinds. If the opprotunity arises we do still hope to meet face to face *S*

I hope you have better luck. It takes alot of hard work and understanding. The time difference is a hinderance as well but anything is possible if you are willing to really work at it.

Good luck

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RE: long distance relationships - 7/25/2006 9:04:34 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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RE: long distance relationships - 7/26/2006 7:57:08 AM

PiggyPuta

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Joined: 5/11/2006
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COMMUNICATION! Its the one key element that will keep Y/your relationship going. Honesty and trust also play vital roles. i have had a couple of long-distant relationships and they were wonderful and i would not change a thing about them. For one reason or another O/our relationships did not work out. If Y/you can manage to communicate in one form or another every single day it can work. 18 months is a long time, but Y/you just can not think about that. Just take it one day at a time and enjoy.

piggyputa

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RE: long distance relationships - 7/26/2006 1:40:21 PM

LL1aintbehavin

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babygirltaylor.
i am very happy that you have found someone that you feel you are compatible with.
Long distance relationships take a lot of work, and is very lonely for both at times, but sometimes it works out and is worth everything.
i do have a question, you are both in different countries, can i assume that you have never met in real time??
Do you have any intentions of meeting before this year and a half until you finish schooling??
Just curious, as that is a big chunk out of your life without a real time meet at some point to see if the relationship is as intense as in person as it is on line.
i am not saying that online and long distance cannot work out, my Dom and i are proof that it can happen.
i guess i am just curious if you are going to put that part of your life on hold for a year and a half without planning on meeting at some point. Even the meets in between the separation times can help ease the lonliness.
aintbehavin

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RE: long distance relationships - 7/26/2006 5:16:02 PM

tangria

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Joined: 5/20/2006
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i, too, am involved in a ld relationship----on-again and off-again as it becomes increasingly difficult to be alone. and i have strayed, and returned to him, as i feel in my heart he is truly my one. but the pain and loneliness have me once again wondering if it is worth it, as time drags on and meetings get postponed time and time again. we have been speaking for over a year now, and i have met and spent a week with him in person, but that was several months ago and the logistics of it all are beginning to seem insurmountable. the most difficult thing lately has been the vague feeling that it just isnt "real" to me anymore, the phone and ims and cam are all great tools but just cannot make up for actually feeling his touch, his breath, his scent, his presence. if there is any possible way you two can spend actual time together, even infrequently, that may get you thru the alone times. i wish you all the best, it is a difficult road you are choosing.

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RE: long distance relationships - 7/26/2006 5:49:51 PM

sensualatina

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Joined: 1/10/2006
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ah.. long distance relationships suck. i'm in one at the moment and it's going wonderfully though. My mom (although not in this lifestyle.. that i know of... ) had a long distance relationship with her boyfriend. Tip of Texas to NY.. it went on for a year or two.. can't remember maybe 3.. haha.. anyways.. her and i came to visit him once.. and then mom decided.. it was a time for change.. and we moved up here with him. She's half the reason why i believe long distance relationship can really work (if the economic means are available to both). They spoke each night on the phone.. and chatted in the same room with friends. Every now and then it would get rough because of rumors and what not.. but they truely love each other so they didn't let that get in the way.. now they're both happily together in NY. Master and i both get online at night. W/we chat online for a couple of hours before it's time for me to sleep (He watches me sleep.. which i loveee and it helps me feel closer to Him). The time He and i take to speak to O/one another is very important so (not to be a freak or anything) i tend to kinda make a mental check list or keep links of forums that i find interesting and wish to speak to him about.. and once He's online we don't run out of things to speak about. W/we also both have webcams so i usually have mine on all the time and give Him access where He doesn't have to ask He can just turn it on and boom there i am :P He also has one.. but i don't get to see Him as much.. (which sucks!) but it's more like a wonderful treat when i do.. and it's greatly appreciated. uhm.. but my point is, like what everyone else said, communication is key. With out communication Y/you don't have a relationship.. so try and think of new ways to keep the communication open. and also pictures.. take random pictures and surprise Him, it would make Him feel closer to You :). Anyways good luck :) and like anything if it's meant to be and You work on it.. it will work out :)

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