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LadyPact -> RE: Room 101. (4/15/2017 11:41:35 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: DocStrange
I am going to break this up into 3 different areas:
Rational Fear:
Most people have a fear of something. When playing with someone’s fear, the person’s fear kicks in the body fight or flight response. If the person maintains control then mind is fighting the body for control. Your body wants to flee. Your subconscious has triggered the body to release adrenaline. At the same time the mind is saying they are not going to hurt me. This is one of the interesting dichotomies as the mind is fighting the body. The person’s loyalty and pride wants to be able to control their fear, show they are in control and please there partner. Their body is doing the opposite and gearing up for fight or flight. Heart rate increases, respiration increases, pupils dilate, awareness intensifies, time slows down, pain perception decreases, fear becomes exaggerated, rational mind is bypassed.
I really like how you broke this down. It's also a great description for the 'in the moment' experience from the bottom side. It's kind of cool to point out the difference between the 'during' of the mind fuck, humiliation scene, the fear play, whatever, and compare it to the normal, day to day reaction and opinion of the person when the activity is not current. One of the reassurances that I, as a top, like to get feedback on after the activity is over, is the confirmation from the bottom that if it wasn't "play," that I wouldn't really do horrible activity X to them. Thankfully, this has never become a hindrance for the subsequent times that we're going to do whatever we are going to do because their emotions override their logic when engaged. I hope I phrased that well enough to convey my intention.
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Irrational Fear:
Really this is the same as above but for whatever reason the person has an irrational fear of something and the body’s fight or flight response is instant. The person knows the fear is not normal for whatever reason but that does not stop the body from going into overdrive on the fight or flight response almost instantaneously.
As a top, I'm a bit more leery or irrational fear. You mentioned fight or flight in the previous, but I take this more as fight, flight, or freeze. I'm more concerned with the last because you can't get a good read on a person who has frozen. As a part of this discussion is also about 'how do you know how far is too far,' this is, entirely, the problem you have with freeze because you can no longer gauge the reaction. This puts me in the precarious position of knowing little to base my decisions on whether I should continue or pull the scene. (More points here for the category of how well you know a person.)
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Mental Torture:
While rational fear and irrational fear are aspects of mental torture, there is another area I am not really sure what to call. I am at a loss for words about this for the moment. This is an arear where the person really does not have a limit or fear they are aware of. They might even desire “said” thing up front. But as time goes on it begins to wear them down mentally. An example of this might be the Chinese water torture ( a constant drip of water on the forehead) or maybe the hit of a single tail every minute? Here the activity is not objectionable at first and may even be desired. But as time goes on it begins to mentally where the person down. This also does not immediately kick in the person’s fight or flight response. It tends to build overtime.
Mental torture can be fear or it can be other emotional aspects. As Bita stated so eloquently earlier, yes, it's always possible to stumble onto something that you didn't intend. I compare this to the same as I do other types of edge play. I don't consider most of the other stuff I do to have a risk factor of absolute zero. A person can attempt to mitigate risks to the best of their ability, but it's not a guarantee.
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Technique:
Emotional sadism can include one of these things or all of these things mixed together. If the Dom(me) only focuses on the fear or mental torture aspect, to me that is not the most effective mind fuck. You are not messing around with enough of the “gray” area. Include that other “gray” area into play. The pleasure centers of mind. Mix the two. The mental torture followed by a pleasurable response. A light touch, whispering in the ear or??? Keep them guessing. Not knowing what is going to happen next. Not knowing if you are going to push them past their limit. And mentally confusing them to the point it becomes difficult to differentiate between the two.
This is something that applies often when doing fear play or the mind fuck. While often the 'go to' thoughts when it comes to emotional S/m, it's not the whole playing field. If we were talking about something like a serious degradation scene, such things could blow the play, entirely. The whole idea *during* the play is for the bottom to experience feeling bad, while it is happening. The whole point, for some, is to be stripped of their confidence, reassurance, value, etc. It's not supposed to, necessarily, feel pleasurable. It's supposed to hurt. To me, one of the whole things about emotional S/m, is that the receiver *WANTS* to actually feel bad.
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As you stated there are many on the boards I would never attempt this type of play with. I would really have to know and trust a person before I would be willing to really dive deep into this type of play. First time play with a Domme for me, this would be off limits until we knew each other better. I have come across Dommes in the past who want to go straight for the jugular on the fear response. While they might find that enjoyable, I do not. It is something that take time and trust to build so that both can get something out of it. I do enjoy the mental aspect and taking it to the point but only with a person who is really talented at it and understands the subs side of it as well as the Domme side of it.
How do you feel about horror movies? I'm not big on them, myself. However, millions of people love the thrill of a film production that scares them while they are watching. That's the fun of the whole thing.
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