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RE: Really feeling owned? - 7/28/2006 12:13:41 AM

Mavis

Posts: 828
Joined: 2/8/2004
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bita, i think i know where you're going with this... i think i might be going that same way.

i know i am owned when i find myself assimilating. i'm not saying in the way of the borg, where independant thought isn't happening, but when my independant thoughts mirror His, because i have come into internal agreement with the things i have been taught.

i get these lightbulb moments when i think "Whoa, where did that come from? This is definately not the way i would have seen it pre-service." and i'm happy that it's like that.

Closely related to that, i feel most owned during lessons. i'm acutely aware He has invested time and thought into the lessons, and although teaching edifies Himself, it's definately a growth producer intended for my benefit.

(in reply to BitaTruble)

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RE: Really feeling owned? - 7/28/2006 2:43:43 PM

NurseKitty

Posts: 33
Joined: 6/14/2006
From: Syracuse, New York
Status: offline

I don't consider myself as being 'owned'....I will never be of that mindset. I do consider myself as belonging to someone. Or more appropriately with someone. I'm not a 'natural born submissive'; the fact that He presented me with a collar and I accepted and understood it for the significance it bears in His mind and therefore in mine is a drastic change in my thinking and my being. It's a HUGE trust thing...i've put more trust in him than in any of my previous relationships--probably combined. I never had that level of trust with my ex-husband. I think it's because I've grown as a person that I'm able to trust and be that vulnerable with someone.

Something that's occurred to me though, as I'm re-reading this thread....as someone who is not 'born' to submission (for lack of a better term) I do notice that it doesn't come nearly as easy or natural when I don't have my collar on. This is somewhat concerning to me. I want to be 'more' submissive to/for him, as I truly love him on an indescribable level and I truly want to be all I can for him (is this the army suddenly?!)...but I have a lot of trouble remaining in that particular mindset, the one of giving him control,when i'm not wearing my collar. Hm.......this warrants further ponderances on my part......

_____________________________

Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before. ~ Mae West

(in reply to Mavis)

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Post #: 22