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ORIGINAL: collarmepls

Please check out this profile folks. This is sincere yes?
ps: (there is a quiz at the end) <jj>

I have always enjoyed D/s and BDSM as a part-time activity with the knowledge and consent of My vanilla partners. I have acquired quite a bit of experience; enough to know that now, I am single and I refuse to compromise any longer. I seek a male submissive for eventual 24/7.

I'm confused.. you seek a slave but your profile lists you as a slave.

This is not just a change of lifestyle choice, but a sweeping change of life for Me. I have put My farm and My business up for sale and have plans to relocate by spring 2005, hopefully to a warmer climate. I will be returning to college in the fall after many years away to complete My degree in Psychology.

Oh, ok.. I get it, this is some Dommes profile..

Are you the man who wants to enjoy this change of life with Me? Are you intelligent, open-minded, honorable, fun-loving, romantic, willing to work hard to make a relationship of this type last, interested in trying new things? Do you crave the domination of a Woman who knows what she wants and how to get it? Are you realistic, do you seek the partner/lover/Sadist/Mistress of your dreams knowing She will also be human?

I am sensual, sadistic, tender, strict, loving, emotional, strong and determined. If you believe our interests to be similar, email Me with your thoughts.

When i read this, it seems to me to be a good ole fashioned hometown gurl who simply needed more from life. Since i am not a masochist the main question i asked on my initial contact was what "sadist" meant to Her and how She would intend to apply it to me. To make a long story short Her version was well within my capabilities and i guessed that i would even enjoy it.

Sadism is relevant to the moment for alot of people, being attracted to psychology types, the first thing one must learn is that there is a huge difference between how people percieve themselves and how they actually are.

The first conversation She catered to my expression and desire of a wholesome relationship which included a mixture of, ( Vanilla + the D/s dynamics + bdsm), and this even included being allowed the priveledge of having sex with Her, Her way of course, and the whole ball of wax, that conversation lasted 5 hours. Green lite all the way WOOHOO!!!

Ok.. I guess I take issue with " she catered to my expression".. I would see that as a red flag right from the start. She should freely express her own desires independent of yours.

After talking with Her on the phone my heart did flip flops as i never met anyone so courteous and apparently kind, considerate, sentimental, heartfelt, and i lost 2 nites sleep thinking over the wonderful possibilities that this Woman and i could potential share together. Especially since i tend to connect with and get along with psychologists really well as a general rule.

Then the typical scenario, like bagdad the bombs started to drop one by one.

In the second conversation things started to shift and i now was to be kept in chastity with little or no sex with Her and i may be allowed to masterbate occasionally with Her supervision. hmmm

But you have these things listed as your interests... if your not interested in them, why do you have them checked?

i made several attempts to eek my way into knowing more about the details around the chastity and masterbation plans and also trying to reconcile it with what was said the day before. That conversation was also 5 hours.


Big yellow caution flag goes up! Although much was talked about in addition She started to get a little frustrated and asked how many times does She have to go over this with me as its starting to look like i may be obsessed with sex and she is beginning to wonder if i am truly a slave or not.

I agree that is a flag, sounds to me like this is someone who is playing at being a Domme and has little or no real time experience.

On the third conversation i again tried to eek my way to get a closer look at where this was all coming from in bringing it up again and then She told me what Her real goals were and said She planned on training me to be in chastity permanently and the only way i would be able to cum from then on is by doing it soft which i assume meant milking of some sort. Then She also put a verbal gag on me and i was gagged from speaking about this subject, ever with her again, so it was no longer on the table for discussion at any level. ~sigh~



Sirens going off Big red flag!

As they should.. anyone who won't discuss and explain themselves and allow you to consent to such treatment isn't worthy of your submission.

Then days later i asked Her what means She provides for communication of sensitive issues or resolution of issues that are unresolved? Later in that chat online She said that we no longer seem to communicate and connect so nicely like we did in O/our first phone conversations and that we probably arent as good of a match that She first thought we were.

i dont get it. Where in Her profile does it say permanent chastity, no sex ever, and enforced impotence? Why would anyone want to make someone impotent? Once that is gone its gone forever and ruins a guy for all other Women!

So nuther one bites the dust, SSDD, (same shit different day).
Is it me here? Am i missing something? Maybe there is a secret code amongst Dommes in their profiles that i fail to grasp or is it maybe a little more honesty on their part is in order.

Based solely on what you have told us I see this as an online Domme who only knows how to have titalating conversation with the hopes that you will just blindly agree and follow. I highly doubt she has any real time experience. It is fine if that is what she is really into, but she should make that clear from the start, and not represent herself as something she isn't. Some men want to be rendered impotent, some woman enjoy having that power, I for one don't get it. If you break your toys then you can't play with them.. and I like sex to much to ever punish myself that way. I think the honestly part is a two way street. I know and equal number of male subs who are dishonest with themselves as well. What would have set me off was the profile in and off itself. She is selling everything to move, and go back to get a psychology degree.. If it's a bachelors that will get her no where fast.. (You need at least a Master's in that field.. trust me as I have one). Just in the first paragraph I see.. someone who is running from all responsibility and is looking for a free ride.




This is what gets so tremendously frustrating for me trying to find someone. And its not like it happens once in a while it is the norm. It is getting to the point that when i write to someone i expect lies, fabrications, alterior motives, poor mental health, poor character as well as all those other wonderfully desireable things we all search for in our lives.

The line forms to the left.. :)

i simply dont see this as being my inability to read a profile and frankly consider it misrepresentation by omission. Do i look at this incorrectly folks? What are the dynamics that cause what seems to be the perfect situation to deteriorate like this? Whats going on in Her head and what should have been going on in mine? Could have i handled it in a better way possibly? It seems like there was no resolution to this to me? agree/disagree?

No, I think two things happened.. 1. you didn't read enough into the profile and 2. You need to take the time to ask more serious questions and take notes...and meet a person in person before making a determination if they are right for you.

Hang in there.. I am

Ms. Eden


Any comments that can shed some lite on this for both myself and others who are experiencing this are most welcome


Welcome to my Daily Discouragement

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I direct you to YOUR OWN PROFILE MISTAKES. They are put down as being a Limit by both the slave and Dominant and then respected. There are the Hard Limits that are complete no nos AND the soft limits which are negotiable and agreed to be such in contract. JMO[/font]

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ORIGINAL: MistressDREAD