BillsGalSusan
Posts: 69
Joined: 7/18/2006
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I'm an adult, a fairly old one, and in a long established and very good D/s relationship. I can't even remember the last time I was wilfully disobedient. I do remember a fairly long period of time when I was younger when I would test limits when I felt insecure. Bill never used physical punishment, mostly because he had this "thing" about the consequence being related to the offence, but also because he/we didn't see much point in mixing up the BDSM/sexual aspects of our life together with discipline. It didn't work conceptually for either of us, and Bill apparently never wanted to see if it did work in its actual execution.
I am not saying that physical punishment isn't a good choice for some folks, just that it wasn't the way things were handled here.
Over time, we did come to know that pain (not a whole lot, but some) centred me when I was feeling insecure or out of touch. I became comfortable asking for that when I thought it would help me, though Bill was pretty darn good at recognizing it if I didn't ask  . I'm pretty sure that alone kept me from being disobedient or forcing Bill (odd word, but you know what I mean) to pay attention to me in a disciplinary way. When my work was out in the world, I often had problems with having to be so "in charge" all day long. I'd come home out of sorts and uncomfortable. A little pain went a long way in helping me settle down and relieving my discomfort.
I'm not saying there was no discipline in our house when I was younger, or even that I don't occasionally need it now. Most of the time, I'd much prefer a beating to the nefarious things he chooses instead. I'll give an example that I'm pretty sure I wrote about on the sub board at some point.
Some time ago, I got a speeding ticket for going too fast in a school zone. It was evening, and the school was not in session, so no one was at risk. Bill took my car keys--not for a day, or a week, but for five months--one day for every dollar of the fine. If my speeding had been an isolated act, I'm pretty sure there would have been not much in terms of consequences, but Bill felt that I had become careless and un-mindful when I was in the car, and that this was just an example of that attitude.
It was a lousy punishment, from my POV, and it was pretty darn inconvenient for Bill, too. I could get everyplace I needed to go on the bus, but some things were not bus friendly--like picking up really heavy things from the market or getting something he needed for work on the spur of the moment. It didn't appear to bother him at all that he was inconvenienced in this way, and if he was ever tempted to make an exception because he was inconvenienced, he sure didn't show it.
I gotta tell you. It was pretty darn effective. I'd bet that I am now the most mindful person on the road. Would I have preferred a really painful (and not in a good way) beating. You betcha.
Another Susan
< Message edited by BillsGalSusan -- 8/6/2006 8:35:13 AM >
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RE: diss in me - 
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