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Just Stewing... - 12/7/2004 11:35:06 PM   
SentForu


Posts: 303
Joined: 3/23/2004
From: Middle Tennessee
Status: offline 		A LITTLE DIETING IS ALL U NEED

Can you believe this crap??? I got this, in a message from here tonight. I realize I don't have the most "Barbie" figure in the world, but I would NEVER write someone in that way. How rude and obnoxious can a person get though??

Anyways, to my point here in the Master section. Do you Doms actually look at a profile and think such things about a submissive? "She has everything I want, if only she'd lose some weight, have blond hair, have not so many freckles, etc etc etc." Would you actually message a person in such a way? How many of you have taken a submissive, and tried to start changing her right away? Asking her to lose weight, or some other issue you might have. Is it right to ask a submissive to change? If you wanted her to change right away, wouldn't that indicate you weren't interested in who she already is in the first place?

I'm sorry for the rant. I just, get so bent out of shape with this stuff sometimes.

Thanks as always, in advance.

_____________________________

Myra
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Just Stewing... - 12/8/2004 2:22:28 AM   
Suleiman


Posts: 1127
Joined: 9/9/2004
Status: offline 		So far, in my admittedly humble experience, those who make such assertations about a would-be submissive's appearance, typically have the distinction of being an accusatory piece of cast iron cookware. Have you taken a look at these people? Ragged looking unshaved apes, usually with a serious gut, with the misconception that all a person needs is a little dieting to look better. Usually they're just trying to convince THEMSELVES that all they need is a little diet, except of course that would require actually admitting that there was something wrong with the way they look.

Okay, so it isn't a brick wall I've run into recently, but it is one of my peeves. Some of them think they're doing you a favor, offering you encouragement in a domly sort of way. Frankly, most personal trainers I know would be into SM if they didn't have hours of endorphine-enducing humiliation play available to them at the gym. It's not the intention that gets me so much as the overall ignorance involved. Usually these folks who try to change how you look as part of the dominance game have no idea what is really involved in the process of weight loss. They can't even be bothered to go to the library and crack a book, or do a little research on the internet. They think that a diet is something that can happen in a few weeks, after which you quit. It's a frigging lifestyle change, and it takes a bleeping huge amount of work - and that's assuming you don't have some genetic predisposition towards retaining a certian level of fat.

Unfortunately, while their ignorance simply annoys me, I'm constantly afraid that there are jackasses turning poor body image into honest-to-goodness eating disorders. Like so many things that are arguably "vanilla", dieting is very frequently neither safe nor sane, especially the way they'd have you do it, and if you try to use your safeword, you're hit with a guilt trip about "backsliding" or being a quitter.

GRRRR!

Okay, I'm ranting. I should probably stop now.

~S

_____________________________

Think of my verbosity as a sort of litmus test for our relationship. I write in a manner identical to how I speak and how I think. If you can not cope with what I have written here, it is probably for the best if we go our separate ways.

(in reply to SentForu)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Just Stewing... - 12/8/2004 4:59:09 AM   
subcheryl


Posts: 280
Joined: 11/2/2004
Status: offline 		As far as the weight loss issues, yes i have run into that just recently in fact in a doms journal entry, he stated that collar me is full of overweight women who couldn't more or less get guys anyother way and this would be a good place to sell Richard Simons products. And yes by the looks of his pic in the profile he has his own manly pouch the could use some work on. In my case he missed out on a good slave that would have loved his animals and knew a little about horses and could have learned more quiet naturally, since horses are my love. But because of his rudeness figured that that is the type of man he was I wasn't wasting time on him, for I don't treat people that way. So I think some of those doms need to go to manners school.

(in reply to SentForu)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Just Stewing... - 12/8/2004 5:06:46 AM   
INSIDEYOURMIND


Posts: 483
Status: offline 		I think the correct reply might be.......................

I MAY BE OVERWEIGHT, BUT YOU ARE AN ASSHOLE, AND I CAN DIET!

< Message edited by INSIDEYOURMIND -- 12/8/2004 5:07:02 AM >

_____________________________

If I got smart with you.................
How would you know?

(in reply to subcheryl)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Just Stewing... - 12/8/2004 7:58:17 AM   
SentForu


Posts: 303
Joined: 3/23/2004
From: Middle Tennessee
Status: offline
quote:

he stated that collar me is full of overweight women who couldn't more or less get guys anyother way and this would be a good place to sell Richard Simons products.


That's so not true!!!! I'm overweight, but have never had a problem getting dates. If all I wanted was a "date", I'd have no interest in the lifestyle period. I've seen some very pretty ladies in here. Thin, and larger. In my opinion, if someone's so shallow as to worry about such petty things, he wouldn't be worth my typing time. Of course, we could go back to the personal preference thing. Hey, whatever floats your boat. If you don't like it, don't date it. But, is that reason enough to make offensive comments?

_____________________________

Myra

(in reply to subcheryl)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Just Stewing... - 12/8/2004 8:08:19 AM   
MasterMindMesmer


Posts: 4
Joined: 12/4/2004
Status: offline 		You Fat? That rude.

If the Dom was really concerned about your weight, he would have you work out as part of his routine with you.

Accuse you, nah nah nah.... not good.

After all some fat gives a cushion for the pushing, lol

---MMM

(in reply to SentForu)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Just Stewing... - 12/8/2004 9:06:14 AM   
Estring


Posts: 3314
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		As men are more visual and focused on looks, I don't see a problem with placing some importance on appearance. The problem is if that is the most important part. And it is just rude the way this Dom answered you. There is such a thing as discretion. He doesn't seem to have any.

(in reply to SentForu)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Just Stewing... - 12/8/2004 9:10:20 AM   
MistressFire70


Posts: 378
Joined: 7/25/2004
From: North Carolina
Status: offline 		In general, most people who criticize others are usually seeing traits they don't like in themselves and projecting it onto you. The hard thing is though, a person isn't usually aware they are doing this. And, it's REALLY hard not to do it, if you aren't aware of it.

Allowing his words to anger or hurt you is giving him power you should keep. Rather, feel sorry that he has not reached a place in his journey that both allows and encourages him to keep his mouth shut.

Fire


_____________________________

you have come to a great chasm. Jump. It's not as wide as you think.

(in reply to SentForu)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Just Stewing... - 12/8/2004 9:31:15 AM   
Jasmyn


Posts: 1234
Joined: 2/6/2004
From: New Zealand
Status: offline 		Grrrr this kind of stuff makes Me so wild!!! Girls there are many many many male doms out there who seek to abuse you because of their own lack of self worth....please please please keep yourselves safe.

Jasmyn






Attachment (1)

(in reply to MistressFire70)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Just Stewing... - 12/8/2004 11:05:13 AM   
happypervert


Posts: 2203
Joined: 5/11/2004
From: Scranton, PA
Status: offline
quote:

A LITTLE DIETING IS ALL U NEED


Obviously anyone who would make contact by sending out criticism is just ignorant. What is even worse, or maybe it is my own pet peeve, are the folks that write "U" instead of "You". Such willful ignorance is just appalling to me; I figure folks who do it must not read or write outside chat or else they wouldn't be able to break the programming that comes with normal use of the language.

As annoying as it is to get notes like that, you could console yourself by realizing that the sender should be pitied. Such ignorance means he must be a real loser.

_____________________________

"Get a bicycle. You will not regret it if you live." . . . Mark Twain

(in reply to SentForu)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Just Stewing... - 12/8/2004 12:00:09 PM   
srahfox


Posts: 261
Joined: 10/17/2004
Status: offline 		I accually read that profile. Everything was all well and good, I was even okay with the fact that he said he's take someone a little bigger if they were willing to go on a strict diet (Hey some girls might want that) Then I read his journal entries. Wow. Even if I was a slender little thing and I read how nasty he was, I would have never replied to that. I guess in that case we should thank him, we now know he's an asshole.
I don't really have a problem with people wanting a certain thing. I just think you have to be open to the fact that you may not get it. You don't have to be nasty about it. I'm a heavy girl. Oh the joys of PCOS. I've tried the diets, the life changing, the excersise. I just haven't tried the diet pills. (Don't have the money to just throw away) Has it worked. Not much no. If someone emailed me telling me I just need to lose some weight I would really have to wonder why the hell he wrote me in the first place. Either you like or don't mind the chub or you move along. It's that easy.

(in reply to subcheryl)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Just Stewing... - 12/8/2004 3:27:08 PM   
MistressDREAD


Posts: 2943
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
sits on the BBW FAT bench made ESPECIALLLLLLY FOR BIG BOGARIOUS BODASIOUS BOISTEROUS BEEEEUUUUTIFULLLY BIG BIGGG BIG BIGGGG BIG WOMAN and watches
the rants and raves while sitin lookin at all the GOOD LOOKIN DOMS here in the Masters
Chambers Whom are WAYYYYYYYYYYY BIGGER BOGARIOUS AND BODASIOUSLY BOISTEROUS AND BEEEEEEUUTIFULLYYYYY BIG BIGGGGGG BIG BIGGGGGG BIG MEN. OHHHHHH THANK JAH
FOR COLLARME.COMs BREATHTAKING BANGUP BRAGGARD BITCHES OF BIG BELLYS and BOOGIEWOOGIE BENCHPRESSING BRAINNY BASTARD BEJEWELED BELTLOOPERS, smellin the stew cooking and gettin hungry....

an Thanks for MERC, INSIDEYOURMIND, ESTRING and SULLIEMAN whom are just Fione Good Lookin Pieces of...................... well nevva mind~ AMEN! can We eat now? ~wink~

< Message edited by MistressDREAD -- 12/8/2004 5:15:05 PM >

(in reply to srahfox)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Just Stewing... - 12/8/2004 3:34:24 PM   
MistressDREAD


Posts: 2943
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		but seriously

We all have Our likes and dislikes
what We choose to exert it on is
a choice personally. Some dont
like fat, others dont like misspellers
and yet others dont like those
with hairry backs. Personal preferance
is just that and FYI FOLKS
HUMILIATION IS A KINK!!!
Just because a Lifestyler chooses to
humiliate and use a rudefull manner to
do such does not make them a LOSER.
It just makes Them have a kink and
way that is NOT FOR YOU! I bet cha
I can find wayyyyyy more folks whom
get off on being humiliated in this manner
then those whom do not like it..... wanna
bet Me ??
SOME GET OFF ON HUMILIATING
THE PARTS OF US THAT ARE NEAR
AND DEAR TO OUR HEARTS AND MINDS.
OR TOUCHY SUBJECTS TO GET A REACTION.
~smiles wickedly~ Thinkin whom I can
go HUMILIATE on the boards that looks
like death warmed over and all bones....hmmmmmmmm

< Message edited by MistressDREAD -- 12/8/2004 3:36:10 PM >

(in reply to MistressDREAD)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Just Stewing... - 12/8/2004 4:54:13 PM   
feline


Posts: 1101
Joined: 2/23/2004
From: CA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subcheryl

As far as the weight loss issues, yes i have run into that just recently in fact in a doms journal entry, he stated that collar me is full of overweight women who couldn't more or less get guys anyother way and this would be a good place to sell Richard Simons products.


OMG! I saw that profile! Gee I wonder how many responses he gets with that charming profile. LOL No class.

Take care,




Attachment (1)

_____________________________

Variety is the soul of pleasure.
~Aphra Behn~

(in reply to subcheryl)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Just Stewing... - 12/8/2004 5:42:39 PM   
kyakitten


Posts: 145
Joined: 11/21/2004
Status: offline 		~ With sincere apologies for hopping into the Masters' thread ~

Myra, I just looked at your picture and you're adorable. The guy may be obnoxious but I pity him - the world sure must be a bleak place from the iceberg where he's standing.

Kkit

(in reply to SentForu)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Just Stewing... - 12/8/2004 9:03:21 PM   
ModeratorThree


Posts: 949
Status: offline 		My reply would simply be:

And all you need is a little class.

------------------------------------------------------

Myra you're a doll, don't forget it!



Mod3




(in reply to kyakitten)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Just Stewing... - 12/9/2004 12:24:33 AM   
Leonidas


Posts: 2078
Joined: 2/16/2004
Status: offline 		Guilty, your honor!

No, I wouldn't send a message like that. Why would I care what a woman that I do not own eats, or doesn't eat? That said, I certainly find a particular body type appealing, and for me to take a slave, she would either have to be that type, or in my estimation, capable of being that type with proper training. Is that all I look at? No. Is it a standard of mine? Yes, it certainly is. When I own a girl, what she puts in her mouth, and when and how she does physical training is as much my decision as anything else about her. As with most things, my standards are pretty high, and not very flexible at all. Perfect obedience is required. I have the power over how the girl looks, and I take responsiblity for my own satisfaction with her. Obedience is her only concern.

It amazes me sometimes that a woman will allow a man to put rows of rings in her labia, or tatoo her, but bristles at the notion that he might shave a few inches off her backside. Maybe it would help to think of it as an "extreme body mod". I know that it's not true of everyone, but to me, a slave is a slave, and what she does from the time her eyes open, until they close, is in service. When, how, and what she eats, and when and how much she exercises, seem to me to be to be details of less than monumental proportion.

I"m sorry, but I don't buy the "if you want to change me you don't want me the way I am" argument. If that were the case, the word "training" would have no place in the vocabulary of the lifestyle. There would be no need to train a slave. If you didn't want them just the way they were, you'd just pass. Likewise, I don't much subscribe to the notion that having preferences and opinions about some attributes of a woman make one superficial, and others not so much. If one is fixated on a single attribute (any attribute) he's probably being short-sighted when it comes to choosing a slave, but hey, he has to live with his own choices.

SentForu, I think that the guy who sent you that was an ass. You don't belong to him, and aren't asking to (from what I understand) so whatever opinion he holds about you is his own, and should stay that way. To answer your original question though, yes, I do size up a woman who is showing an interest in being mine, and I do take a mental inventory of things (physical and not) that I would alter about her to suit me. It's a natural part of the process of deciding if a slave has the potential to please you, and just how much work you think making her that way will require. Granted, my opinions about this are not mainstream, and are probably a bit less romatic and more pragmatic than most.

< Message edited by Leonidas -- 12/9/2004 12:27:01 AM >

_____________________________

Take care of yourself

Leonidas

(in reply to SentForu)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Just Stewing... - 12/9/2004 12:45:52 AM   
FelinePersuasion


Posts: 4792
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline 		Ok first of all MistressDREAD, Humilation play is done by two consenting adults. sending someone an insulting email, is NOT being kinky it's being rude. And in my estimation someone who was an actuall dominant and not just an idiot looking to spread his filth would never of sent her such a rude and UN solicited email.

And E string If all you can see is my my god she's fat NEXT, like most guys here. you'll be passing up who could very well be exactly what you need weight issues aside. Apearance is NEVER an indication about how good a sub she could be for you. What she can do and can offer is on the inside NOT in the aperance.

(in reply to Leonidas)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Just Stewing... - 12/9/2004 5:18:20 AM   
SentForu


Posts: 303
Joined: 3/23/2004
From: Middle Tennessee
Status: offline 		Yes, I agree that a person has to be physically attracted in the first place. My whole point in this thread, was to vent, and get across that IF you're not attracted to a certain type of person, simply overlook them. Sending out offensive comments (which I didn't ask for to begin with) is unacceptible to me. I did not initiate contact with this person period.

It's hard to determine the difference between "training" and not liking her for who she is inside. When I think of training, what comes to mind is mental things, emotional to a point, possibly physical endurance...etc. That's just me though. I'm still new to this, and my opinions are likely different from experienced Masters as of now. All I know is, I wouldn't want a Dom to look at my profile, and think to himself..."I'll try to change this, that, and another thing about her." There has to be a connection to begin with.

Thanks kyakitten and Mod Trey, for your compliments...

_____________________________

Myra

(in reply to Leonidas)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Just Stewing... - 12/9/2004 5:30:41 AM   
Suleiman


Posts: 1127
Joined: 9/9/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Leonidas

It amazes me sometimes that a woman will allow a man to put rows of rings in her labia, or tatoo her, but bristles at the notion that he might shave a few inches off her backside. Maybe it would help to think of it as an "extreme body mod". I know that it's not true of everyone, but to me, a slave is a slave, and what she does from the time her eyes open, until they close, is in service. When, how, and what she eats, and when and how much she exercises, seem to me to be to be details of less than monumental proportion.

I"m sorry, but I don't buy the "if you want to change me you don't want me the way I am" argument. If that were the case, the word "training" would have no place in the vocabulary of the lifestyle. There would be no need to train a slave. If you didn't want them just the way they were, you'd just pass. Likewise, I don't much subscribe to the notion that having preferences and opinions about some attributes of a woman make one superficial, and others not so much.



That, actually, is my point exactly. It IS a form of extreme body mod, but more often than not the twits who make these demands(not all, but far FAR too many) do not take that into consideration. There are serious health and lifestyle factors involved in losing (and not regaining) even a few pounds, much less the several inches that would normally garner a comment like this. I'm not talking about superficiality or the "love me for who I am" argument, others have championed those points quite well. I am saying, as a dominant, that it is far too easy to damage someone, physically, emotionally, and/or psychologically, through malevolant negligence, and make it seem that it was their fault. It fails the basic standards of safety and sanity that must be a dominant's primary concern, if they are to truly take responsibility for another human being's life.

_____________________________

Think of my verbosity as a sort of litmus test for our relationship. I write in a manner identical to how I speak and how I think. If you can not cope with what I have written here, it is probably for the best if we go our separate ways.

(in reply to Leonidas)
Profile   Post #: 20
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