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Sexual Compromises - 5/27/2017 7:36:05 AM

Greta75

Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
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So, I was talking today with someone about my view on sexual compromises.

Basically, I was saying, a normal couple, meets each other, really really like each other. Starts sexually interacting. From there, they start to know what each other enjoy in bed.

But what happens is, perhaps while love is strong, honeymoon period.

What happens is, even if they don't like the same things. Each party will take turn to do what gives the other person pleasure whether they enjoy that themselves or not.

I consider that a little bit of fragmented sex. Doing something to give your partner pleasure even though you don't really enjoy it yourself, but because you care enough about your partner to give him or her what they need.

But I think this is practically what sexual compromises mean in most relationships with sex involve.

I think what I call "fragmented" sex can get into some form of trouble when honeymoon period is over, because usually when the "honeymoon" fades. Real effort starts needed to be put in.

This means that, when the shine is over, it may take alot more effort to try to sexually please your partner doing the things you don't really enjoy for the sake of him or her.

I was just saying to someone that, that is not the type of sex I want to ever have with someone.

I want genuine mutual sexual enjoyment. Not taking turns to give each other pleasure.

But of course, the way I want it to be will be extremely difficult to pair, because you basically have to find someone who enjoys all the same precise things as you.

In BDSM context, a sub may go along with alot of things the dom loves but she may not enjoy as she wants to make him happy and please him. In return, the dom who is pleased at her devotion may occasionally indulge the sub as a reward at his own discretion, something she really enjoy that he doesn't care so much for. That's the whole idea of compromise.

But not compromising to me means that, for example. Let's say if a dominant isn't into inflicting pain at all. He doesn't enjoy it. But the sub loves pain. And occasionally the dominant indulge the sub in what she loves because he decided to be nice about it.

But I feel that my enjoyment is significantly lessen IF whatever the man does, he does not enjoy. I mean if a dominant is not whipping because it brings him pleasure. But simply because he knows I enjoy it. That sucks! But if he is whipping me because that's one thing he absolutely enjoy doing. And that is also one thing I absolutely enjoy being on the receiving end of. That seriously take the whole feeling up to a different level.

That mutual enjoyment! Watching a man enjoy what you enjoy. Enjoying it together in harmony, insync as one!

I guess my point is, sexual and bdsm compatibility seriously makes a crazy difference in how both parties will enjoy each other.

So you know, sometimes when a dominant gets like very upset and disappointment in pre-negotiation with a sub, that she is not okay with this and that.

It's like, why would he even want to force it? Or even get upset about it? Doesn't fit, Next!

Same with a submissive, can't make the top do what he don't enjoy doing to you!

The right compatibility is very hard, but when ya find it, it's gonna be amazing!