Best way to control a male: chastity, or abundant, powerful orgasms?

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Best way to control a male: chastity, or abundant, pow... - 7/26/2006 9:30:49 PM

MaleModel

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I’ve seen many references on this board to chastity as the best way to control a submissive male, but many years ago I had a completely different experience. My Dominant girlfriend gave me wonderful orgasms, as many as I could handle……after I had completely satisfied her, of course.

I became dependent on a constant stream of compliments, fondling, and great orgasms from her. Since we had poor communication, when she was angry with me, she simply shut off the flow…….and I panicked. Mostly, she made me sleep on the couch, but several times she went to her friend’s house and I was left to contemplate what I had done wrong. It didn’t take long before I came around to her point of view, and eventually just the hint that she might withdraw was sufficient to get me to do what she wanted.

This relationship lasted 2 years…..of course we had a lot more than D/s in common, but her control and sex was a very important part of our bond. Her feeding my kink and regularly blowing my mind was very effective as a means of control.

What do people think?

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RE: Best way to control a male: chastity, or abundant,... - 7/26/2006 10:50:13 PM

Misstoyou

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Something similar: My puppy refers to being in mental chastity. He's stopped masturbating because what he does to/for himself has become so unsatisfying in comparison with what I do to/for him.

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RE: Best way to control a male: chastity, or abundant,... - 7/26/2006 11:36:57 PM

planomaid

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It sounds almost like a Pavlonian response was set up within you, except that your trigger was sex. Not anything necessarily wrong with that, however. Since she was your g/f as well as your mistress, it would make sense that there was sexual as well as d/s play in your relationship. What you describe has been used on female submissives as well, to much of the same outcome.

It would appear that the general consensus of the lifestyle is to force chastity on the male to enhance his submission and focus his attention on pleasing the top (chastity and restricted masturbation is used in the male-male world as well, though I don't think it is as prevalent). That concept seems to be the accepted norm, or one-chastity-fits-all... but that's always bugged me personally. Yes, I do recognize that the male side of the species has a horrible habit of thinking with his prick. And that enough instances of this occuring have seemed to set the bar rather low... I don't agree that this fits all submissives, though I have not a clue what percentage it works well on, and what percentage can benefit from some other form of control.

This sounds like a perfect subject for the NIH to award a grant to find out!!!! :)

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RE: Best way to control a male: chastity, or abundant,... - 7/27/2006 2:03:40 AM

CuteIrishM4F

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i wish i knew more about this to comment!

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RE: Best way to control a male: chastity, or abundant,... - 7/27/2006 2:23:32 AM

MzMinx

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Chastity isnt one singular thing .. it has lots of variations .... such as length of time .... differeing ways of imposing it ....... this also includes  how a boy may get release, how many releases and how *smiles* useing the OP's words .... memorable they are

I actually enjoy variety .....   so giveing a boy memorable orgasams .... is one of many options and experiences I use ....   *grins* sometimes more orgasams than he feels he can handle .....

To me its about exploreing control with a boy .... and most boys are intimatly conected to the use and access of their favorite toy *laughs* ... it gets their attention .. to use it ... deny it ... lock it away ... hurt it ... tease them about it etc

How I do so is a combination of what I want and enjoy, and what helps them feel and become more of my boy *warm smile*

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RE: Best way to control a male: chastity, or abundant,... - 7/27/2006 4:22:31 AM

SenseofBelonging

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Misress keeps me in chastity for varying lengths of time with a minimum of two weeks and a maximum (so far) of five weeks. She will not allow the use of a chastity device, however, saying that i should be mentally strong enough to obey Her without using a crutch. i have noticed that the longer im in chastity, the more eager i am to please Her which is probably self-defeating, lol. when i am granted release, She prefers to do it Herself, by hand, while having an Aneros inserted in me (which i highly recommend, btw...it results in the most incredible "whole body" orgasm ive ever felt).

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RE: Best way to control a male: chastity, or abundant,... - 7/27/2006 6:00:17 AM

MaleModel

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMinx

Chastity isnt one singular thing .. it has lots of variations .... such as length of time .... differeing ways of imposing it ....... this also includes  how a boy may get release, how many releases and how *smiles* useing the OP's words .... memorable they are

I actually enjoy variety .....   so giveing a boy memorable orgasams .... is one of many options and experiences I use ....   *grins* sometimes more orgasams than he feels he can handle .....

To me its about exploreing control with a boy .... and most boys are intimatly conected to the use and access of their favorite toy *laughs* ... it gets their attention .. to use it ... deny it ... lock it away ... hurt it ... tease them about it etc

How I do so is a combination of what I want and enjoy, and what helps them feel and become more of my boy *warm smile*

Great response, MzMinx, and you've captured completely our "cock-centric" thinking. My former Dominant g/f nurtured that in me by frequently referring to how large I was, even though I'm average in size. After some months of her praise and compliments, I more or less suspended disbelief and "went with the flow," LOL

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RE: Best way to control a male: chastity, or abundant,... - 7/27/2006 9:07:02 AM

MsKatHouston

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The thing is...there is no end all be all way to control a male (or female). There are, however, effective ways to control individual people. What works for one may be counterproductive in another.

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RE: Best way to control a male: chastity, or abundant,... - 7/27/2006 7:03:17 PM

jonathan

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Admittedly, i'm biased, but my vote is for chastity. As control and reward. Misstoyou knows. Any device i may be in is just a physical reminder of where my mind already is. If planomaid was a member of my boards and groups, he'd know that it is at least equally prevalent in the gay community, if not more so. IMHO, what's the diff? SenseofBelonging, yes, i know that, i know, i know. Great, ain't it? <G> i just got my Curve this week and have changed out the CB-2000 for it.

Abundance just spoils the male and leads to expectations. Knowing, whether locked up or mentally chastised, that it will only be at Her whim and under Her conditions, is what it's about. Control, TPE.

Good luck Irish. Sounds like you may be in the same state as i was when i met my first keyholder six years ago.

MzMinx, Your boy will be a lucky one.

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RE: Best way to control a male: chastity, or abundant,... - 7/27/2006 8:19:43 PM

MaleModel

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quote:

ORIGINAL: jonathan

Abundance just spoils the male and leads to expectations. Knowing, whether locked up or mentally chastised, that it will only be at Her whim and under Her conditions, is what it's about. Control, TPE.

Good luck Irish. Sounds like you may be in the same state as i was when i met my first keyholder six years ago.

MzMinx, Your boy will be a lucky one.

Jonathan, I think you've illustrated what Ms. KatHouston and other have said: that the most effective method of control varies with each male. I could have the kind of mind-blowing experience that she could give me only when she wanted, and at her whim. If I disappointed Her in some way, I was denied.

I may get a chance to compare, as my Mistress/girlfriend is getting more interested in T&D.

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RE: Best way to control a male: chastity, or abundant,... - 7/27/2006 9:29:45 PM

MzMinx

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....hmm it is quite amuseing to me that the only options for 'best' ways of controlling a boy .. have to do with his penis *laughs* ... whether its locked away or overwhelmed .. it still comes down to a boy and his two heads ... the small one always wins

or so this thread might lead one to believe *grins* .....

btw thank you Jonathon *warm smile*

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RE: Best way to control a male: chastity, or abundant,... - 7/27/2006 10:02:37 PM

MaleModel

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMinx

....hmm it is quite amuseing to me that the only options for 'best' ways of controlling a boy .. have to do with his penis *laughs* ... whether its locked away or overwhelmed .. it still comes down to a boy and his two heads ... the small one always wins

MzMinx, this is probably one of only a very few points you could get 100% of the people on this board to agree on, LOL

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RE: Best way to control a male: chastity, or abundant,... - 7/28/2006 9:22:46 AM

thetammyjo

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I'd rather have a boy who is able to get himself off when he likes so that he can be fully focused on me when/if I decide to have sex with him. When he is with me, he must have permission to orgasm but otherwise I'm just not that interested in preventing him from having self-pleasure.

I think being able to pleasure yourself is a healthy thing both physically and mentally.

That said if someone who matched me and my family in other ways wanted to be denied the ability to pleasure himself/herself without explicit permission I would be open to discussing that and working that into the negotiated relationship.

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