Ever wonder?

Ever wonder? (Full Version)

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DXismyway -> Ever wonder? (7/27/2006 3:02:38 AM)
Has anyone else ever wondered if they are really submissive? Has anyone ever felt something akin to stone in their heart when their BDSM relationship doesn't work out? I find myself feeling switchy and like I wish I could have someone to Top, but I am so far from ready for that. Anyone else ever have these feeling? (yes, my profile says I am a switch, but deep down inside, I am truely sub, just haven't found my right One, yet, but prospects are promising.)

afeathr -> RE: Ever wonder? (7/27/2006 6:42:12 AM)
No, I'm a submissive, no doubt about it. I can't say that I have a penchant for being a switch, but I do get to play the role occasionally in our 3somes. It's a fun game for me, but I am still a submissive. In fact, sometimes it's a bit of a chore because I feel like an emotional sandwich caught between two entities that want from me... Sir is dominating me, while the little one needs me to dominate her. I get a little antsy at first, when we start scening because I know what it's going to feel like, but when I get into the 'role' I am good. But you are really asking two questions here, and I am not sure exactly what you mean by: "Has anyone ever felt something akin to stone in their heart when their BDSM relationship doesn't work out?" Is this about a failed relationship, failed expectations or your feelings of being a switch?

fyreredsub -> RE: Ever wonder? (7/27/2006 8:14:58 AM)
i feel extremely dominant when i am angry...i am a redheaded italian irish girl who is nto afraid to vent and it has gotten me into trouble many a time because respectful speaking goes right out the window as does forgetting my place when things are ending.....even if i am the one doing the ending for whatever reason.....i am a slave bit i am still a bitch .perhaps i havent been properly tamed yetshrugs who knows. i started out in this lifestyle as a Domme and i was so unhappy it sucked...altho the sex was good...the bedroom is probably the only place i do enjoy having power sometimes.....i much prefer being bound than binding ...i do not enjoy the mental aspects of Dominating others i prefer to be controlled....yet...........[X(]

SexyRed -> RE: Ever wonder? (7/27/2006 8:25:11 AM)
I don't feel very submissive when someone says, You don't seem very submissive. Then I feel like slapping them.

littleone35 -> RE: Ever wonder? (7/27/2006 8:25:17 AM)
I have never questioned the fact that i am a submissive. Sure i lose my temper sometimes (grins at fyrered) antothr Irish/Italian girl here. Never with Master though. I was born submissive and until i foumd my Mentor i did not understand why i always wanted to take care of others. So to answer the question no i have never wondered. Matt's littleone

SusanofO -> RE: Ever wonder? (7/27/2006 8:43:53 AM)
LOL, me too! Me too! Sexy Red that is too funny (and true, for me anyway). - Susan [:D]

Kagesuta -> RE: Ever wonder? (7/27/2006 10:25:40 AM)
I've wondered, sure. And I think I've come to the understanding that being submissive (for me, at least) doesn't apply to everything. There are times when one has to take charge, be it at school, work, or sometimes even in the bedroom. For you to want that when you're feeling disappointed, angry, or betrayed is just part of human nature; it can be a means of getting out frustration, and reaffirming your inner-strength. Like one of those weird stress-relieving rubber squeezie clowns or whatever the hell they're supposed to be. It doesn't mean you aren't a sub, just that you're human.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Ever wonder? (7/27/2006 12:44:20 PM)
Most people, if they make it to 5 years, will go through at least one serious period of self examination and re-figuring how they work within Ds, reaffirming themselves or changing themselves. It's part of life and growth.

nephandi -> RE: Ever wonder? (7/27/2006 2:36:10 PM)
i know i am submissive, i have always been, but i am also a sadist and might like to top somone, but not order anyone around.

asiandoll27 -> RE: Ever wonder? (7/29/2006 11:12:05 AM)
No doubt in my mind I am a submissive and definately not the Domme type. Its not for me to demand or to tell others, and have no thought of being a switch. Its just my nature to be submissive and obey.

DXismyway -> RE: Ever wonder? (7/30/2006 2:25:54 PM)
I think you've hit it with this statement. The reaffermation of inner strength is what is needed when I feel hurt or betrayed. When the One I look to for guidance fails to promote that inner strength, it's time to walk away. DX

mellian -> RE: Ever wonder? (7/30/2006 5:02:35 PM)
I have no doubts that I am a submissive, just feel like haven't proven myself to be one yet. -mellian

Quivver -> RE: Ever wonder? (7/30/2006 5:16:22 PM)
fast reply.... I think there's a little Switch in all of us. All comes down to what feeds you. I have no desire to Top in the least. That stone is what I've felt when faced with knowing I could Top............... sigh Q

irishbynature -> RE: Ever wonder? (7/30/2006 5:36:40 PM)
I never doubted that I was a submissive. I just needed to figure out how far I would go in my submissive nature, or what my limits were. I could never be 24/7 because I like to make decisions for myself day to day, and when someone is wrong...or not being honest...I normally confront it head on instead of just accepting.[:)] I think questioning yourself is just the path of growth and it's all good.

TheShadows -> RE: Ever wonder? (7/30/2006 10:39:58 PM)
Yes, I had that feeling, and I ran with it....after 4 years as a "submissive". I decided to stop living a lie and be my true self, which is Dominant. My best advice to you would be to do some really hard soul-searching to figure out whether this is just a phase because of a relationship gone wrong, or if Topping is something you really need to feel whole. I think if you're honest with yourself, and you do what makes you happy, and what's in your gut, you can't go too far astray. Best of luck, MrsShadows

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