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Bedroom Submissive? - 7/27/2006 3:54:28 AM

irishbynature

Posts: 551
Joined: 5/11/2006
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For all the Doms/Dommes/Mistresses:
I've never considered myself to be a 24/7 submissive; however, I love to please and serve (even if I'm simply pouring a drink for another..etc). However, when it comes to submission that doesn't involve sex, I am very playful, I giggle, and laugh---for some reason, my "happy" brain cells bring forth a childish excitment as if Santa Clause is bringing toys

Yet, in the bedroom or in a complete intimate moment, I can't enjoy a scene unless I am submitting 100 percent.

Could that be pure brattiness or just being a "Bedroom submissive?" Is there such a term?

Respectfully,
Irishbynature

_____________________________

What seems nasty, painful, or evil, can become a source of beauty, joy, and strength, for those who have the vision to recognize it as such. Henry Miller

Post #: 1

RE: Bedroom Submissive? - 7/27/2006 4:12:57 AM

RavenMuse

Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: irishbynature
Could that be pure brattiness or just being a "Bedroom submissive?" Is there such a term?

Hmmmm it isn't what *I* would call brattiness, you enjoy serving outside of the bedroom, you do so with fun and pleasure.... great, so you are obviously not just a 'bedroom submissive'.

I have met many wonderful young ladys who ONLY submit in the bedroom, had several as playmates but could never be in a 'relationship' with one as I don't DO vanilla and outside of the bedroom that is what they are.

What you describe sounds fun and playful... and GAH... little girlish *Beats his Daddy Dom side down with a large stick* but still, from your own words, submissive, it is how you are whilst you are submitting. Maybe something I would find wearing if that was the case ALL the time, but I'm sure it varies depending on context.

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to irishbynature)

Post #: 2

RE: Bedroom Submissive? - 7/27/2006 4:18:48 AM

wandering4u

Posts: 167
Joined: 6/18/2006
Status: offline

Playful, giggling, laughing - sounds like you enjoy serving others outside the bedroom. Submission is a state of mind. and being. If you enjoy it, do it and don't worry about it. Brattiness? no I don't think so. Actually, it just seems to me that you enjoy submission more than you think

(in reply to RavenMuse)

Post #: 3

RE: Bedroom Submissive? - 7/27/2006 5:06:20 AM

carhen7

Posts: 1
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline

Hello Master,

I glanced thru ur profile and I really love it..also I will like to be ur bed Submissive....also to be ur anytime and anyday u want me....Sir you can always contact me on my yahoo email ID carhen7 for better conversation.

Thanks.

Ur submisive sexy slave.

(in reply to wandering4u)

Post #: 4

RE: Bedroom Submissive? - 7/27/2006 5:45:57 AM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

You don't have to always be in a serious mode when you submit. If you enjoying serving for the sake of serving, outside of the bedroom setting as well as in, then I would say you are more than a bedroom sub. Some of my fondest times of service are actually outside of the bedroom. In the simple things - keeping an eye on the coffee cup, preparing meals, just hanging out at his feet and watching tv. And yes......I laugh a lot.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to irishbynature)

Post #: 5

RE: Bedroom Submissive? - 7/27/2006 6:36:21 AM

afeathr

Posts: 248
Joined: 6/1/2006
From: Southern California
Status: offline

I have to say that I am a bit confused about your question. You are submissive, and you enjoy it. You have fun and it seems that your true personality comes out when you are doing so... ENJOY!! :)

_____________________________

afeathr

-Going where the wind blows me...

(in reply to irishbynature)

Post #: 6

RE: Bedroom Submissive? - 7/27/2006 6:39:11 AM

irishbynature

Posts: 551
Joined: 5/11/2006
Status: offline

Thanks Ravenmuse, Katylied, wandering4u and afeathr

Wonderful replies and insight!
Respectfully,
Irishbynature

_____________________________

What seems nasty, painful, or evil, can become a source of beauty, joy, and strength, for those who have the vision to recognize it as such. Henry Miller

(in reply to afeathr)

Post #: 7

RE: Bedroom Submissive? - 7/27/2006 10:24:39 AM

Sab

Posts: 325
Joined: 5/2/2006
From: Canada
Status: offline

If she didn't have a sense of humour I would bang my head against a brick wall!

_____________________________

God blessed it and it brought me to her.

(in reply to irishbynature)

Post #: 8

RE: Bedroom Submissive? - 7/27/2006 8:48:42 PM

BohemianSub

Posts: 12
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: irishbynature

For all the Doms/Dommes/Mistresses:
I've never considered myself to be a 24/7 submissive; however, I love to please and serve (even if I'm simply pouring a drink for another..etc). However, when it comes to submission that doesn't involve sex, I am very playful, I giggle, and laugh---for some reason, my "happy" brain cells bring forth a childish excitment as if Santa Clause is bringing toys

Yet, in the bedroom or in a complete intimate moment, I can't enjoy a scene unless I am submitting 100 percent.

Could that be pure brattiness or just being a "Bedroom submissive?" Is there such a term?

Respectfully,
Irishbynature

But is there such a term as "bedroom submissive" ? I am curious myself. I am an alpha female and have to be dominant in the vanilla world but prefer submission in the sexual context. But I haven't found any literature on this aspect except in describing tops and bottoms in regards to scenes.

(in reply to irishbynature)

Post #: 9

RE: Bedroom Submissive? - 7/27/2006 10:30:41 PM

KnightofMists

Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

Well irish... I am confused... what exactly does being playful have to do with not being submissive? Many have a negative term of Brat! In a large degree it is often used in a negative context. However, it is also used to reflect a sense of playfulness and positive carefree nature of a person. I personally don't feel some who his playful is behaving in a manner inappropriate as a submissive. However, what I view as playful and acceptable behavior for a submissive could be very different for the next person. Our view of behavior labels are often very subject and it is not likely that you will get much agreement on any specific behavior as being specifically submissive or dominant in nature. However, as an individual there are specfic behaviors that we do that are typically submssive/dominant in nature. I would also say that one needs to take into consideration the dynamics of the relationship. If you where in a relationship with Dominant X, some of your specific behaviors that are playful in nature could be percieved as acceptable and part of your submissive express. While Dominant Y would consider them has unacceptable as an expression of your submission. So are you a Bedroom submissive because you with Dominant Y, what about Dominant X... do you suddenly become so called playful submissive becuase you with him. In the end, I think you need to cut out others in the equation. Ones Submissive or Dominant nature should come from within... So really how do you feel about your Playful nature? Do you feel it adds to your connection to the Dominant and a drive to submit to his will and authority. Or do you feel it detracts from it? Look internally for those answers... and then find the one that appreciates and shares your view points on this. Do not pigeon hole yourself because another labels you as such. Submission and Dominance is an instrinsic motivation that drives many of your behaviors. Look at your own behaviors in the various interactions and consider what is driving you to behave in that manner.... I would also consider that we are not just submissive or dominant individuals. We are also... chrismatic, humorous, easy going, serious etc etc.... we are many things that don't limit our submissive or dominant motivations.

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to irishbynature)

Post #: 10

RE: Bedroom Submissive? - 7/28/2006 5:01:29 AM

wandering4u

Posts: 167
Joined: 6/18/2006
Status: offline

Nicely put Knight!

Irish! - be yourself , the relationship is based on who the people are in the realtionship. If the other does not like a core behavior of yours, smile, thank them and walk away!

(in reply to KnightofMists)

Post #: 11

RE: Bedroom Submissive? - 7/28/2006 5:07:48 AM

ArdRi

Posts: 32
Joined: 9/27/2005
Status: offline

I enjoy these little confusions very much because I have a very broad idea about what BDSM is and I think that is how it should be. I dont allow myself to get caught up in the 'definitions' as there are potentially an infinate number of them - very confusing indeed!

Try to relax and always be aware of your own expectations and limitations. Informing your Dom of these is essential, but in getting to know each other, these things should work out naturally.

Best of luck in the future!

Ard Ri.

p.s. Remember this: Dom/mes are not superior, just granted the power of dominance by those who choose to submit. They should be equally graceful and conscious of this at all times.

(in reply to KnightofMists)

Post #: 12

RE: Bedroom Submissive? - 7/28/2006 7:49:40 AM

Arpig

Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline

Anyone who submits to me will need a sense of humour.......Um, Master, Sir?.....It might work better if you held the handle of the paddle instead........

~Edited because it seems I can't spell very well either

< Message edited by Arpig -- 7/28/2006 8:03:58 AM >

_____________________________

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(in reply to irishbynature)

Post #: 13

RE: Bedroom Submissive? - 7/28/2006 11:43:45 AM

afeathr

Posts: 248
Joined: 6/1/2006
From: Southern California
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Arpig

Anyone who submits to me will need a sense of humour.......Um, Master, Sir?.....It might work better if you held the handle of the paddle instead........

~Edited because it seems I can't spell very well either

I would be LMAO on that one. Sorry, I like to have fun in all things that I do. I am not ever really sure why people take life as seriously as they do. If it's not fun, it's not worth doing and that includes living.

_____________________________

afeathr

-Going where the wind blows me...

(in reply to Arpig)

Post #: 14

RE: Bedroom Submissive? - 7/28/2006 1:28:00 PM

irishbynature

Posts: 551
Joined: 5/11/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

Well irish... I am confused... what exactly does being playful have to do with not being submissive? Many have a negative term of Brat! In a large degree it is often used in a negative context. However, it is also used to reflect a sense of playfulness and positive carefree nature of a person. I personally don't feel some who his playful is behaving in a manner inappropriate as a submissive. However, what I view as playful and acceptable behavior for a submissive could be very different for the next person. . So really how do you feel about your Playful nature? Do you feel it adds to your connection to the Dominant and a drive to submit to his will and authority. Or do you feel it detracts from it? Look internally for those answers... and then find the one that appreciates and shares your view points on this. Do not pigeon hole yourself because another labels you as such. Submission and Dominance is an instrinsic motivation that drives many of your behaviors. Look at your own behaviors in the various interactions and consider what is driving you to behave in that manner.... I would also consider that we are not just submissive or dominant individuals. We are also... chrismatic, humorous, easy going, serious etc etc.... we are many things that don't limit our submissive or dominant motivations.

My personality is naturally playful and often light-hearted, fun...I get very giddy and silly at times with actual 'submission'...perhaps it's a rush of those "happy hormones" or endorphines? I guess I'm still figuring that out.

I do know that I love to help and serve others. However, when it comes to 'submission' I am only turned on by the behind closed doors aspect.

I do agree with you about labels and sometimes I tend to place myself in various categories. However, I think you have it right....that we are not just subs/doms, we are all human beings with different personalities!

Thanks!
Irish

_____________________________

What seems nasty, painful, or evil, can become a source of beauty, joy, and strength, for those who have the vision to recognize it as such. Henry Miller

(in reply to KnightofMists)

Post #: 15

RE: Bedroom Submissive? - 7/28/2006 1:29:42 PM

irishbynature

Posts: 551
Joined: 5/11/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Arpig
Anyone who submits to me will need a sense of humour.......Um, Master, Sir?.....It might work better if you held the handle of the paddle instead........

LOL..Arpig...I just love your attitude (you got me giggling here!)

_____________________________

What seems nasty, painful, or evil, can become a source of beauty, joy, and strength, for those who have the vision to recognize it as such. Henry Miller

(in reply to Arpig)

Post #: 16

RE: Bedroom Submissive? - 7/28/2006 1:31:28 PM

irishbynature

Posts: 551
Joined: 5/11/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

You don't have to always be in a serious mode when you submit. If you enjoying serving for the sake of serving, outside of the bedroom setting as well as in, then I would say you are more than a bedroom sub. Some of my fondest times of service are actually outside of the bedroom. In the simple things - keeping an eye on the coffee cup, preparing meals, just hanging out at his feet and watching tv. And yes......I laugh a lot.

It's nice to know I'm not alone in that aspect! Thanks Katylied.

_____________________________

What seems nasty, painful, or evil, can become a source of beauty, joy, and strength, for those who have the vision to recognize it as such. Henry Miller

(in reply to KatyLied)

Post #: 17

RE: Bedroom Submissive? - 7/28/2006 5:38:57 PM

Tamerofwild1s

Posts: 1765
Joined: 12/5/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: irishbynature

For all the Doms/Dommes/Mistresses:
I've never considered myself to be a 24/7 submissive; however, I love to please and serve (even if I'm simply pouring a drink for another..etc). However, when it comes to submission that doesn't involve sex, I am very playful, I giggle, and laugh---for some reason, my "happy" brain cells bring forth a childish excitment as if Santa Clause is bringing toys

Yet, in the bedroom or in a complete intimate moment, I can't enjoy a scene unless I am submitting 100 percent.

Could that be pure brattiness or just being a "Bedroom submissive?" Is there such a term?

Respectfully,
Irishbynature

I have dealt with a few "bedroom submissive" . IMHO a bedroom submissive is one who serves only in the bedroom .. once the intimate siuation is done . she turns offher subbie side and becomes just another person sitting there .... now what you explained as your situation is merely a happy go lucky girl who loves serving .. being giggly or playful is not what one considers NON submissive .... they have been referred as brats and such but I have never heard one say .. oh you giggled your not a submissive. might get you a whalloping in the bedroom . but certainly does not get you kicked from the local union of submissives.

again thats just my honest opinion

_____________________________

A building get torched. All that is left is ashes. I used to think that it is true about everything - family, friends, feelings - but now I know that sometimes if love proves real, and two people are meant to be together, nothing can keep them apart ~

(in reply to irishbynature)

Post #: 18

RE: Bedroom Submissive? - 7/28/2006 5:58:18 PM

missturbation

Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: irishbynature
However, when it comes to submission that doesn't involve sex, I am very playful, I giggle, and laugh---for some reason, my "happy" brain cells bring forth a childish excitment as if Santa Clause is bringing toys

In my opinion there is nothing wrong with being playful and giggly especially when you are enjoying whatever submissive act you are carrying out. There are however moments of servitude where it would be inappropriate behaviour (these are the moments id probably giggle) in my opinion so i guess its just a matter of controlling it at these moments.
Personally i'm more of a nervous giggler so i giggle when in trouble and if slightly uncomfy about something in the bedroom but i have never questioned my submissiveness for it.

_____________________________

What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

(in reply to irishbynature)

Post #: 19

RE: Bedroom Submissive? - 7/28/2006 5:59:36 PM

popeye1250

Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline

Irish, you have a good attitude! Don't worry about that "behind the doors" stuff.
Serving is also a part of submission.
I love the "service" part of submission.
To have a sub or slave in a sexy maid's uniform serving me a cup of coffee or a coke or watching her cook or do laundry is heaven to me. But she has to enjoy it too. It's not like being a "doormat" kind of thing with me at all.
You're fine! If it works for you and you're happy with it go with it.

(in reply to Tamerofwild1s)

Post #: 20

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