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Players - 7/27/2006 5:02:12 AM   
sweetnurseBBW


Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline 		Master has been recently trying to find a woman for me as a reward. We thought we found one after much searching. Last night in speaking with another slave friend of mine turns out she is the one for alot of people. When me and this other slave confronted her with the lies we had been told , she lashed out at me and said some hurtful thing s about my Master. Master was not available to defend himself. I being the quick to react one became very upset and didnt know what to believe. As a backround, you should know before I met Master, i had a series of lying decitful players just about want to make me give up the 12 years I had spent in the lifestyle. I know I should have not doubted my Master but sometimes my mouth works faster than my brain. This morning I now know this person is a player and lied about everything.  My question is how do you not let players get you so upset that everyone gets hurt? Why is it so much easier to believe bad things than the good?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Players - 7/27/2006 5:27:26 AM   
michaelGA2


Posts: 1533
Joined: 4/26/2006
Status: offline 		never, ever believe anything you've been told by someone you don't know. always check things out. there's alot of players out there (there are a few here on CM also). 

_____________________________

Are we having fun, yet?

(in reply to sweetnurseBBW)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Players - 7/27/2006 6:27:53 AM   
ShiftedJewel


Posts: 2492
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: michaelGA2

never, ever believe anything you've been told by someone you don't know. always check things out. there's alot of players out there (there are a few here on CM also). 


Just a few michael, just a few... lol

_____________________________

Don't ask, trust me, you won't like the answer... no one ever does.

(in reply to michaelGA2)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Players - 7/27/2006 6:37:48 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		I am sorry about your bad experience!

When I was looking  I would pay attention to everything they said, and listen to them talk about friends and family and jobs. I would listen carefully and let them open up to me, and as they opened up I would too. My life is an open book, so I have nothing to hide, and I pay attention to how secretive the are.

I have been played a few times in the past and I asked myself after the experience was over what red flags I should have seen. People who have perfect relationships with their family and friends and never admit they have problems throw up a red flag for me. No one's life is perfect, before I have any intimacy I want to know how this person is flawed, because we are all flawed. People who tell one story one day and another story another day, well they are just liars, I would not ask them to explain away their lies, but I would question them more deeply to discover if I perceived them correctly. I do not give emotions over to people who try to rush into things before they even know me... big red flag. I ask questions about past relationships to see if they have bad patterns.

These are just a few ways I stay awy from players. Trust your gut!

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to sweetnurseBBW)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Players - 7/27/2006 6:39:31 AM   
michaelGA2


Posts: 1533
Joined: 4/26/2006
Status: offline 		well, i didn't want it to be publically known there's more than "just a few" here and ruin the already tainted image of CM...LOL

_____________________________

Are we having fun, yet?

(in reply to ShiftedJewel)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Players - 7/27/2006 6:48:04 AM   
Noah


Posts: 1660
Joined: 7/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: michaelGA2

well, i didn't want it to be publically known there's more than "just a few" here and ruin the already tainted image of CM...LOL


This kind of deceitful behavior is why bald subs from Georgia named Michael have such an awful reputation.

If it weren't for the fact that they have a sense of humor I just don't know what we'd do with them.

(in reply to michaelGA2)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Players - 7/27/2006 6:54:59 AM   
afeathr


Posts: 248
Joined: 6/1/2006
From: Southern California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetnurseBBW

My question is how do you not let players get you so upset that everyone gets hurt? Why is it so much easier to believe bad things than the good?


I think that once we have it in our head that we are comfortable with someone (and trust them to an extent), it's a serious fall from grace when we find out otherwise.  It sounds as though you were looking forward to having some time with this girl, and she turned out to be scum.  That's a hard thing to deal with no matter what the situation.

Unfortunately, I have had my share of players, and now Sir is having to pay the price a bit and though it's not fair, it happens.  There is no real way to prevent being hurt by someone, but you can do, as juliaoceania suggested, and watch for red flags.  Beware of things that seem too good to be true, and question everything.  Stay back emotionally until you feel that you have found out enough to move forward.  I have done that with Sir and am much happier for it.  This has seemed to work for me.  It won't prevent 100% of the heartache, but it will help you to be objective and attempt to protect your heart.

As far as it being easier to believe bad things than good... it seems that people try much harder to be hurtful than to be nice.  When you caught this girl in a lie, she used defense to make you back off.  She triggered something in you that made you begin to doubt yourself, and that doubt may have stemmed from the fact that you believed her and she turned out to be a liar, so are you now making a mistake with your Master (meaning: is he lying to you as well)??  It's a complex and ugly psychological game, and it works just about every time.  Humans seemed to be programmed to doubt.  It takes a great amount of mental fortitude, especially for women, to remain positive that the decisions we make about those that we care for are the right ones.  No one likes to be hurt.  You have since recovered a bit, and whatever you did to do that is what you need to keep in mind the next time a liar tries to tear down your psyche against your Master.

Good luck!

_____________________________

afeathr

-Going where the wind blows me...

(in reply to sweetnurseBBW)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Players - 7/27/2006 6:56:49 AM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline 		all you could do is try to chekh them out with others.  i am sorry you had this bad experience but don't let it put you off.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to Noah)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Players - 7/27/2006 7:00:44 AM   
irishbynature


Posts: 551
Joined: 5/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetnurseBBW
Master has been recently trying to find a woman for me as a reward.
We thought we found one after much searching. Last night in speaking with another slave friend of mine turns out she is the one for alot of people. When me and this other slave confronted her with the lies we had been told , she lashed out at me and said some hurtful thing s about my Master. Master was not available to defend himself. I being the quick to react one became very upset and didnt know what to believe This morning I now know this person is a player and lied about everything.  My question is how do you not let players get you so upset that everyone gets hurt? Why is it so much easier to believe bad things than the good?

It's easier to remember the good because many of us only want to see the 'good' in others, and therefore, we often dismiss the 'bad'. Good luck in your search! Don't give up until you feel you/your Master have found what you are looking for!
Warmly,
irishbynature


_____________________________


What seems nasty, painful, or evil, can become a source of beauty, joy, and strength, for those who have the vision to recognize it as such. Henry Miller


(in reply to sweetnurseBBW)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Players - 7/27/2006 11:52:17 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		I have found it is much better to never listen to gossip nor get involved in any online "behind the scenes" IM drama. Another good reason to get past the computer screen and face to face ASAP. 

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to irishbynature)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Players - 7/27/2006 2:41:52 PM   
nephandi


Posts: 4470
Joined: 9/23/2005
From: Cold and magickal Norway in a town near Bergen!
Status: offline 		It is somtimes hard to ignore hurtful things pepole say, when when you should not belive them. Yesterday i left my Master at an internett cafe to go at a fahion jewlery sale and later buy a computer game, a drunk woman started yellying hurtful things at me aboute my weight, and I felt realy awaful. I know i am overweight, but she realy hurt me, and i nearly started crying in the middle of town, even if she was just somone drunk and angry, it is real easy to let pepole get to you. my advice OP is ignore the player, ignore her lies.

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Players - 7/27/2006 5:06:06 PM   
sweetnurseBBW


Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline 		Thank you for all the good advice. The main thing is I let this woman dispell my trust in my Master, which should have never happened. He has never given me a reason not to trust him so why let a no good player do it. As long as I have learned something from this, all isnt lost.

(in reply to nephandi)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Players - 7/27/2006 5:33:49 PM   
cheshireboy


Posts: 217
Joined: 5/10/2006
Status: offline 		its all about attitude...i have had times in the past where people have tried to pit me against others by playing me or what not, and i realized...the best way to know something is to not get it second hand, but to find out for yourself and keep an open mind till then.  look at things logically instead of emotionally, once you got the logic down, and the falsehoods turn out true, then by all means, go all mid evil emotional rampage on them.
 
cheshire

(in reply to sweetnurseBBW)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Players - 7/27/2006 5:53:10 PM   
colchuck69


Posts: 7
Joined: 2/26/2006
Status: offline 		My Question Is--Was your Master looking for a woman as a reward for you--OR HIMSELF???  Master Chuck

(in reply to cheshireboy)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Players - 7/27/2006 5:58:44 PM   
Sasy


Posts: 1387
Joined: 7/5/2004
From: Texas
Status: offline 		I have  had my  fair share of dipsticks ... but with the last I should have believed what  one of his ex's said but  he banished me from talking to her... there was a reason she WAS telling me the truth  he wasnt ....  I  guess over time I have come to  the place where it is hard for me to  believe the ones I  should

_____________________________

"In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit." ~ Albert Schweitzer

(in reply to colchuck69)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Players - 7/27/2006 7:38:47 PM   
sweetnurseBBW


Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline 		In response to colchuk:

As i said, me. we both were.

< Message edited by sweetnurseBBW -- 7/27/2006 7:40:00 PM >

(in reply to Sasy)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Players - 7/27/2006 10:08:02 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetnurseBBW

Thank you for all the good advice. The main thing is I let this woman dispell my trust in my Master, which should have never happened. He has never given me a reason not to trust him so why let a no good player do it. As long as I have learned something from this, all isnt lost.


If you trust your Master, remember it always, even when the wolves in disguise can offer you sweet things.  If you are told things that do not add up for you, and which do not sound like the Master you know, bring it to him, and trust him to deal with it.  Good will come of this - you are reminded of your trust in him, and your reliance on that trust.  Such a reminder serves to strengthen the bond.  If he has forgiven you for your distrust, be grateful, and remember his goodness in rough times. Be careful of letting outside forces upset your stable home. 


(in reply to sweetnurseBBW)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Players - 7/28/2006 5:09:42 AM   
truesub4u


Posts: 2949
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline 		Sweet.... sense I know your Master off line.... I would say.. go with your intincts. He's an open and honest man .... from what I know of him. When SOME players/subs/slaves get confronted.... they lash out and begin running off at the mouth... they'll try to say anything to get the spot light off them and onto another. Borg will help you work this all out.

Jessica


_____________________________

Wisdom is knowing what to do next, Skill is knowing how to do it, and Virtue is doing it.

(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Players - 7/28/2006 9:22:59 PM   
Quivver


Posts: 1953
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline 		Grab your boot straps while you listen between the lines.  I believe there is some shred of truth in everything, but the perspective it's given in is where your truth lies.  It's up to you to decide what you believe from where you stand and not let creativly twisted words of another choose for you.

Q

_____________________________

The problem with communication ... is the illusion that it has been accomplished. ~George Bernard Shaw

(in reply to truesub4u)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Players - 7/28/2006 10:56:05 PM   
Sirandlittle1


Posts: 538
Joined: 12/22/2005
Status: offline 		Eat a whole box of Allbran, wait a few hours, and SHIT her out, flush the chain and think no more about it.

(in reply to Quivver)
Profile   Post #: 20
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