friends?

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Cutiepie74019 -> friends? (7/27/2006 5:41:54 PM)
Should a submissive/slave be forced to give up all if his /her friends???

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: friends? (7/27/2006 5:45:54 PM)
Only if they agree to be in that relationship. Generally, no, it's a bad idea to have someone divorce you from your social support structure. In fact it's a huge sign of possible abuse. But then, if all your friends are coke addicts, then it might be a helpful thing. If following those orders are not serving you, then it's not the right relationship for you.

Vancouver_cinful -> RE: friends? (7/27/2006 6:01:50 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Cutiepie74019 Should a submissive/slave be forced to give up all if his /her friends??? Maybe if you ask yourself "Should a human being be asked to give up all their friends?" you can see the answer clearer. Just because someone is a sub doesn't mean they don't have the same human needs as anyone else. Love, companionship, shelter... Next ask yourself, "Would giving up my friends be healthy for me?" As LA pointed out, if they are pressuring you to do drugs, or live on the street, then yes...If they are a positive aspect in your life, then no. Only you can answer this question.

Cutiepie74019 -> RE: friends? (7/27/2006 6:04:36 PM)
i have been continuting my search for a master while talking to a master he wanted me to give up all my dom/domme sub/slave friends in order to be with him if so chose what are your thoughts on this?

Dethknite2k -> RE: friends? (7/27/2006 6:05:24 PM)
I personally agree with LuckyAlbatross. Though I would add that I expect any sub/slave of mine to at least act like she liked my friends.

Vancouver_cinful -> RE: friends? (7/27/2006 6:07:51 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Cutiepie74019 i have been continuting my search for a master while talking to a master he wanted me to give up all my dom/domme sub/slave friends in order to be with him if so chose what are your thoughts on this? Ask him why he wants you to do so. As stated above, it really depends on what the reasons are, and on whether you feel it will make you happier and healthier.

Cutiepie74019 -> RE: friends? (7/27/2006 6:10:40 PM)
he wants me to give up ally my friends involved in the lifestlye because he believes they would try to lead confuse me or steal my attention from him

Vancouver_cinful -> RE: friends? (7/27/2006 6:19:05 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Cutiepie74019 he wants me to give up ally my friends involved in the lifestlye because he believes they would try to lead confuse me or steal my attention from him Does this seem fair or healthy to you? Would a man who is secure, and treating you well, be afraid that your friends would "steal you from him"? Abusers will usually try to seperate their victim from their friends and family so that they will be more vulnerable, and not be able to escape. Ask youself if it sounds like this man is doing this. If your friends are dom/me and subs, they should understand your D/s relationship with him, and therefore be no threat to him, right? Have you asked your friends what they think of this man? Have they met him? Do you want to give up your friends?

Cutiepie74019 -> RE: friends? (7/27/2006 6:23:07 PM)
no i dont and i have decided with a few comments for a few of you people tha i will no longer associate with this "gentelman " for lacvk of a better or more appropriate word

Vancouver_cinful -> RE: friends? (7/27/2006 6:27:04 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Cutiepie74019 no i dont and i have decided with a few comments for a few of you people tha i will no longer associate with this "gentelman " for lacvk of a better or more appropriate word I'm very relieved. VERY happy that you thought this through and will not let someone force you to do domething you don't want to do. [sm=flowers.gif] Friends are very important for a happy life. I'm glad our comments could help. By the way, I'm Canadian, too, so feel free to message me directly if you wish to talk.

windchymes -> RE: friends? (7/27/2006 6:28:28 PM)
From what little bit I've read here, it sounds like he's more concerned with what's best for him, not for you/both of you. If what's best for him is ALSO best for you/both of you, then it's good. If not, then, I think you already feel the answer in your belly. Go with it. The right one is out there somewhere.

SusanofO -> RE: friends? (7/27/2006 6:42:06 PM)
I dunno...something inside makes me ask: Why would someone want you to do this? Are all of them not good for you for some reason? Are they all druggies, or irresponsible yahoos, or not in touch with reality or something? My gut instinct is to say NO. Even if some of them are a bit on the fringe, shall we say - heck, I've got one ot two of those - friends are a support system and fun and nice to have around. Why would someone ask this of you? I have to wonder. - Susan

SexyRed -> RE: friends? (7/27/2006 6:47:04 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Cutiepie74019 no i dont and i have decided with a few comments for a few of you people tha i will no longer associate with this "gentelman " for lacvk of a better or more appropriate word Good for you. Don't let any insecure man tell you what to do, certainly not to give up friends, which we all need in our lives. The fact that he told you he was afraid they would "steal" your affections, demonstrates how controlling and sad he is.

BenignPlague -> RE: friends? (7/27/2006 7:13:03 PM)
Good response turning him away. No one needing that kind of attention and that overdependent is worth your time. As the general trend of posts in this one state, the importance of a friends support network is essential: if things go sour, you need someone to turn to, and family may not always understand this facet of your life. Never corner yourself; always have some means of exit planned in case of emergencies. That's good advice anywhere from a bar to a relationship. Let people help you, lean on them for help sometimes, but never rely on them to hold you up: your legs will atrophy, and you'll forget how to stand. Adam

psykocloud32 -> RE: friends? (7/27/2006 7:32:35 PM)
No....I would not give up my friends for anyone... I believe that would be dangerous to there welfare and it would seem like abuse to me...not good at all

ThatLilBrat -> RE: friends? (7/27/2006 7:38:32 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Cutiepie74019 i have been continuting my search for a master while talking to a master he wanted me to give up all my dom/domme sub/slave friends in order to be with him if so chose what are your thoughts on this? My experience Isolation from friends ... in a strange state .. never left alone ... accompanied by a fem friend of his .... normal sleep habits were destroyed dietary needs not met be aware of cult training Also ask yourself .. or even him ... is there a reason he does not want you to have contact with others? ... such as him not trusting you which is usually an indication that he can not be trusted .... don't beat me up about this folks ... just my personal experience I'm now wiser and my heart just a little bit colder

Cutiepie74019 -> RE: friends? (7/27/2006 7:56:41 PM)
yeah twell me about it all of the advice i recieved and all the comments i read helped me to make the right decision weather slave or sub male or female i believe that they should not be forced to give up their friends , their support network their crutches if you will thought we all must know how to stand on their own 2 feet anyone who wants for you to lose all this and more must be weak themself i have dealt with a lifetime of abuse so i am not about to go thru that agian by making oe stupid decision if i have to wait 10 or 20 years to find the right person then so be it im 19 im beautiful and i kno who i am my i may be young but my heart has been caged in steel and i am all the wiser for my bad experiences

KatyLied -> RE: friends? (7/27/2006 7:59:46 PM)
isolation from friends and family can be a form of Emotional abuse. The "gentleman" in question may have some issues.

Lashra -> RE: friends? (7/27/2006 8:25:13 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Cutiepie74019 he wants me to give up ally my friends involved in the lifestlye because he believes they would try to lead confuse me or steal my attention from him Sounds like insecurity to me. I think if I were you, I'd take it real slow with this one if not walk away from him. If he's trying to isolate(from good friends and particulary family) you thats a sign of a possible abuser. Be careful, ~Lashra

Evanesce -> RE: friends? (7/27/2006 10:10:44 PM)
I think, more often than not, when a "dominant" wants a submissive to avoid all lifestyle and lifestyle-friendly friends and acquaintances, it's because they're afraid the submissive will learn that they don't know as much as they want the submissive to think they know, and that the submissive will find someone who is more skilled, more educated, more something... and leave their sorry ass.

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