quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Well, *she* did because her husband had arranged this whole thing.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

With the legal responsibility of a spouse.

quote:

ORIGINAL: tamaka

psychologically it's just not the same headspace if it were real.

quote:

ORIGINAL: tamaka
I'm getting it perfectly. The factors that you are pointing out is what i'm pointing out as making the whole exercise simply a physical endurance test. The whole thing was a 'scene' after all. Nothing wrong with it, but psychologically it's just not the same headspace if it were real.

I think the reason we're at an impasse on this is because we're approaching it from two different perspectives.

From my side, the physical discomforts are just a means to get her to where I really want her to be, which is the psychological standpoint. What can I take away from her that gets the 'it's just a scene' concept out of her head or even remove the 'it will end' idea? It's precisely why the distorting time thing works so well. My reality and her reality would have been two different things.

It's not as difficult to achieve as some people think, either. Sleep deprivation alone will start messing with someone after the three day mark. Three days to me would become her five. Compound that over, and over, and over... I could easily make someone think that six months would be two years, without them knowing they would be released when they hit some kind of "end."

Something else that occurs to me. To do a scenario like this, what makes anyone think that I have to play fair? Ishtar wouldn't necessarily know the things that Ullr knows.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Something else that occurs to me. To do a scenario like this, what makes anyone think that I have to play fair? Ishtar wouldn't necessarily know the things that Ullr knows.
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

The thing is, cutting off your hair wouldn't have been permanent damage.

quote:

ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar

quote:

ORIGINAL: tamaka

psychologically it's just not the same headspace if it were real.

BDSMer never go for emulating the real headspace.

Real rape isn't sexy. Neither is real racism for race players. Neither is real pedophilia to age players. Neither are real personal attacks by strangers to humiliation players. Neither is dropping a bowling ball on your foot to a masochist.

The whole point of kink is to take various forms of taboos and change them enough so that they become sexy.
Of course that doesn't end you up with the real thing. That's not the point. It's never the point.

quote:

ORIGINAL: tamaka

The whole thing was a 'scene' after all. Nothing wrong with it, but psychologically it's just not the same headspace if it were real.

quote:

ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar

quote:

ORIGINAL: tamaka

The whole thing was a 'scene' after all. Nothing wrong with it, but psychologically it's just not the same headspace if it were real.

BTW, you realize that none of your experience so far, including the one you claimed 'broke' you have been real either... right?
Because in all of them, you had the ability to get up and leave, and you didn't, after periods of time far too short to actually cause capture bonding in any kind of way meaningful enough to override self-preservation instincts.

Your experiences don't have the psychological impact actual capture, enslavement, and non-consensual captivity have. Psychologically speaking, they are 'scenes', because you come from a culture, and have been groomed into the knowledge of consent and the idea that all you need to do was speak to a random stranger at the store, or pick up a phone, or walk out the door to end your experiences.
As well as the realization that there was a social support network waiting for you if you did.

That doesn't psychologically amount to the experience of 'real' captivity/enslavement. Especially considering that the time periods during which it occurred are too short to speak of meaningful internal enslavement.

You've never been in a situation which you were unable to leave.

quote:

Cunt

One of the first things Cali did was name me.
He didn't go through some sort of formal naming ritual to do so, instead, in the first 24 hours of my captivity, he tended to refer to me with all sorts of vile expressions. After a while, one of the words just seemed to stick, and that word was 'cunt'.

Except, seeing cunt written out like that could never convey to you what exactly it was that Cali named me. Written all innocently like that, cunt is nothing more than a vulgar term for female genitalia. But when Cali used the word as my name, he didn't say it like that. He transformed it, condensed it, and spat it out, placing the emphasis on the first and last consonants, with such ferocity that it almost sounded like they were leaving a foul taste in his mouth. He spat them out, with such hatred that it ended up making cunt sound like he was momentarily speaking a foreign language. When Cali said what he'd named me, it sounded like KunT.

As he used this assault in verbiage to address and refer to me by, you could tell that the meaning he gave to the term went far beyond its literal vulgarity. In the way he wrenched out the term, it quickly became clear that to Cali, KunT meant all the deepest, darkest and foulest things you could come up with to refer to another person. No, not to a person, nobody could call a fellow human being a term with the subtext of KunT, but something below a person. Something vile and despicable. A slab of rotting meat. Something so repulsive and low, worthy of only the worst the human mind can conjure up, that it was almost offensive to him to think about it, let alone to refer to it with a word, a name.

These ideas of contempt was what Cali was conveying as he called me KunT. The lack of empathy, the scorn, derision, and disdain dripping out of the entire monosyllabic word as he threw it at me as if it was a physical assault to my body and mind. The word itself nothing more than a placeholder to convey the very primal idea of the very worst.

So KunT it was. KunT, I now was. And realizing that this word, in its full ignominy, with the full subtext of what was behind it, was to be my new name for the foreseeable future was only the beginning glimpse of the barrage of psychological and physical assaults that was yet to come...

quote:

ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar

I tried my first hand at a fictionalized erotica short based on the experience.

It's based on truth (my captor did call me cunt) but the emotional severity of the event is exaggerated for literary purposes. I might do more of these at some point. And eventually tie them all into a story.

quote:

Cunt

One of the first things Cali did was name me.
He didn't go through some sort of formal naming ritual to do so, instead, in the first 24 hours of my captivity, he tended to refer to me with all sorts of vile expressions. After a while, one of the words just seemed to stick, and that word was 'cunt'.

Except, seeing cunt written out like that could never convey to you what exactly it was that Cali named me. Written all innocently like that, cunt is nothing more than a vulgar term for female genitalia. But when Cali used the word as my name, he didn't say it like that. He transformed it, condensed it, and spat it out, placing the emphasis on the first and last consonants, with such ferocity that it almost sounded like they were leaving a foul taste in his mouth. He spat them out, with such hatred that it ended up making cunt sound like he was momentarily speaking a foreign language. When Cali said what he'd named me, it sounded like KunT.

As he used this assault in verbiage to address and refer to me by, you could tell that the meaning he gave to the term went far beyond its literal vulgarity. In the way he wrenched out the term, it quickly became clear that to Cali, KunT meant all the deepest, darkest and foulest things you could come up with to refer to another person. No, not to a person, nobody could call a fellow human being a term with the subtext of KunT, but something below a person. Something vile and despicable. A slab of rotting meat. Something so repulsive and low, worthy of only the worst the human mind can conjure up, that it was almost offensive to him to think about it, let alone to refer to it with a word, a name.

These ideas of contempt was what Cali was conveying as he called me KunT. The lack of empathy, the scorn, derision, and disdain dripping out of the entire monosyllabic word as he threw it at me as if it was a physical assault to my body and mind. The word itself nothing more than a placeholder to convey the very primal idea of the very worst.

So KunT it was. KunT, I now was. And realizing that this word, in its full ignominy, with the full subtext of what was behind it, was to be my new name for the foreseeable future was only the beginning glimpse of the barrage of psychological and physical assaults that was yet to come...

quote:

ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar

However... (and this isn't relevant to anything you said, it's just an aside... so people the following has no impact to anything DocStrange said!!!)...

I get to the point of FoF quite often during my play. In fact, it's a state I push for on purpose, and it happened at various points during my week with my captor. I'm familiar with the state, and how it feels, and how to deal with it. What happened this time wasn't FoF.

Instead I think I experienced an episode of psychological decompensation, and had what basically amounted to a minor psychotic break. I think that the decompensation was caused, at least in part, by the fact that I suffered various FoF reactions that day (and the prior days) for which I had no physical outlets... other triggers included active sensory deprivation, sleep deprivation, freshly being tortured (and accompanying hormone flood), as well as being on half rations calorie wise for a week.

Basically I reached a point where I could no longer process what I was experiencing, and suffered temporary psychosis as a result. Which is different from a FoF, because FoF isn't the result of being unable to process an event, but rather one of going into hyper-processing as a method of protecting yourself against the current event.
The hyper focus that's so typical with FoF was completely absent for me, I was instead very unfocused and scattered, I was sluggish, dull, and passive, had problems with short term memory, and trouble with physical coordination. Oh, and I was very very itchy for some reason.

So totally agree with you... but that's not what happened.