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ORIGINAL: amayos

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ORIGINAL: SexyRed

I am sorry if this topic has been done before, but I am curious to hear some replies. Why is it whenever you engage in a chat with someone, and you express an interest, opinion, desire, like, dislike, comment that a Dom does not like, the immediate next line...drumroll please....is...."Oh, you are topping from below, or you must top from below."

I just had my 363rd three minute chat with someone who asked me some questions that I politely declined to answer; it was too soon to discuss certain things on a first email or IM.  So, he immediately stated the above comment and I was gone.

Interestingly enough, the gentleman in question asked me to chat since he thought my profile was "high caliber" in his view. And then he immediately asked me how much pain I was into and what activities I used to do with my ex.

Why is there such a lack of interesting give and take and intellectual discourse with some Doms instead of resorting to the tried and true, Topping from Below or You Must not really be submissive.

Sorry, I know this is a rant of sorts, but would really like to hear some thoughts.

Your sentiments are shared by many; the art of good conversation is one that is severely lacking in both sexes—submissive or dominant.

As an aside, though the term topping from the bottom is terribly cliché and all too familiar, it is so for a reason. Dominant personas wearing the passingly pretty veil of submission are unfortunately all too common. While your provided examples are indeed outrageous, I would submit the humble suggestion that by the 363rd consistent accusation, I would perhaps look into the remote possibility that maybe all those "wanker/wannabe/jackass/android" idiots might have the slightest ghost of a point in their parting words. Not accusing, just musing.

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ORIGINAL: SexyRed

I appreciate your comments, but for the record, the 363  numeric was tongue in cheek. As for the having a ghost of a point, I will say this: I still maintain that when someone approaches you online at this or any other site, the first few minutes of a conversation are key in getting to know someone. If someone approaches me in a manner less than respectful, or unintelligent or rude or simply in a manner incompatible with what I am looking for, then my response back to them is simply No Thanks, I do not think we are looking for the same things.

At that point, that is when the ludicrous suggestion of topping from below or you are not very submissive or what a bitch or any number of comments arises.

So I respect your musings, but I know what I say and how I approach my interpersonal communications.

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ORIGINAL: amayos

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ORIGINAL: SexyRed

I appreciate your comments, but for the record, the 363  numeric was tongue in cheek. As for the having a ghost of a point, I will say this: I still maintain that when someone approaches you online at this or any other site, the first few minutes of a conversation are key in getting to know someone. If someone approaches me in a manner less than respectful, or unintelligent or rude or simply in a manner incompatible with what I am looking for, then my response back to them is simply No Thanks, I do not think we are looking for the same things.

At that point, that is when the ludicrous suggestion of topping from below or you are not very submissive or what a bitch or any number of comments arises.

So I respect your musings, but I know what I say and how I approach my interpersonal communications.

I assumed the numeric was a humorous falsity, but intended nonetheless to evoke the idea that you are growing weary of how repetitive this problem is in your communications. If you are truly confident in your ability to communicate and remain unbiased, then perhaps changing the criteria through which you base your selection of prospectives is in order. After having wasted so much time myself with less than authentic souls, I have had to adapt and adjust the "filter" numerous times.

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ORIGINAL: SexyRed

I suppose I could peruse profiles myself and be proactive, instead of reactive.

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ORIGINAL: amayos

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ORIGINAL: SexyRed

I suppose I could peruse profiles myself and be proactive, instead of reactive.

That is a very good idea, in my opinion. I know that I personally never attempt to acquire anyone by pursuing them first; I wait for them to come to me. The roles of seeker and source—and the intrinsic nature within each—must be correct; otherwise the psychology of seduction seems stood upon its head, somewhat.

I wish you well.

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ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

Hello SexyRed, I don't think I can add much that the others have not said, except to say there is also a flipside to this which annoys the bloody hell out of me. The internet-insta-sub/slave. Personally, when someone first contacts me the very LAST thing I want to hear/read about is sex/kink. I want to get to know the person as a human being. What are their interests, what is their daily life like, what are their life goals if any, ya know regular life stuff. I had one girl contact me, very nice girl we spoke on the phone several times......unfortunately if the talk does not involve some sort of sexual or kink overtone the poor thing cannot carry on much of a conversation. I get bored. I happen to like intelligence, I even find some opposing points of view of things stimulating, not threatening. In my opinion, someone that finds the whole idea of a submissive/slave expressing an intelligent opinion "topping from the bottom"(especially when just getting to know someone!)  is just a very insecure individual. Certainly not one I would want as a Dominant/Master if I were a submissive/slave. I would think you are just weeding out the chaf to find the few special ones. Unfortunately there seems to be an over abundance of the chaf from both sides.

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ORIGINAL: swtnsparkling

I don't know what your doing or saying.  I decline to answer anything I feel is to personal or I am uncomfortable answering  and I have never been accused of Topping from the Bottom.I guess I am not much help. Maybe as you say you could become proactive and pursue pofiles of interest to you

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ORIGINAL: tangldupinblue

i had an experience the other night with a friend of mine who is supposed to be submissive. she asked if she could play with me and i said no because Daddy told me that i couldnt play with anyone at all period. she got mad at me cause she didnt think that my rules should appy to her, so i asked her what would happen if her Top told her no. her responce was " if i think its a stupid rule then i do whati want and pay for it later". that to me is topping from the bottom.

blue