RE: The cop killing y'all didn't want to talk about (Full Version)

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kiwisub22 -> RE: The cop killing y'all didn't want to talk about (8/12/2017 6:02:12 PM)

The family repercussions of a member actually fighting in a (sustained) war show in ways from the subtle to the overt. My mothers father fought in world war two. He didn't ever kill anyone when he returned home, but basically abused his family - not physically as far as I can tell, but none of them speak of him with affection.
I found out he was alive when I was 13, when he died. My mother had let us think he was dead. The way I hear it, he made himself and everyone around him miserable - but PTSD wasn't a thing then, and shell-shock was more dramatic than what was going on in his life.

I don't have much of a point, or a solution - except war is bad. Pretty simplistic, but as has been stated elsewhere , war changes people. Sometimes for the better, but often times for the worse.




BamaD -> RE: The cop killing y'all didn't want to talk about (8/12/2017 6:30:42 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: kiwisub22

The family repercussions of a member actually fighting in a (sustained) war show in ways from the subtle to the overt. My mothers father fought in world war two. He didn't ever kill anyone when he returned home, but basically abused his family - not physically as far as I can tell, but none of them speak of him with affection.
I found out he was alive when I was 13, when he died. My mother had let us think he was dead. The way I hear it, he made himself and everyone around him miserable - but PTSD wasn't a thing then, and shell-shock was more dramatic than what was going on in his life.

I don't have much of a point, or a solution - except war is bad. Pretty simplistic, but as has been stated elsewhere , war changes people. Sometimes for the better, but often times for the worse.

And when people come back they don't get the help they should have military people like your father
are used up and abandoned.




Nnanji -> RE: The cop killing y'all didn't want to talk about (8/12/2017 6:53:18 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: BamaD


quote:

ORIGINAL: kiwisub22

The family repercussions of a member actually fighting in a (sustained) war show in ways from the subtle to the overt. My mothers father fought in world war two. He didn't ever kill anyone when he returned home, but basically abused his family - not physically as far as I can tell, but none of them speak of him with affection.
I found out he was alive when I was 13, when he died. My mother had let us think he was dead. The way I hear it, he made himself and everyone around him miserable - but PTSD wasn't a thing then, and shell-shock was more dramatic than what was going on in his life.

I don't have much of a point, or a solution - except war is bad. Pretty simplistic, but as has been stated elsewhere , war changes people. Sometimes for the better, but often times for the worse.

And when people come back they don't get the help they should have military people like your father
are used up and abandoned.

Actually, I've a couple of friends that says the VA in this area is real good with PTSD. The problem is getting the service men to recognize they need the help.




BamaD -> RE: The cop killing y'all didn't want to talk about (8/12/2017 7:12:01 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Nnanji


quote:

ORIGINAL: BamaD


quote:

ORIGINAL: kiwisub22

The family repercussions of a member actually fighting in a (sustained) war show in ways from the subtle to the overt. My mothers father fought in world war two. He didn't ever kill anyone when he returned home, but basically abused his family - not physically as far as I can tell, but none of them speak of him with affection.
I found out he was alive when I was 13, when he died. My mother had let us think he was dead. The way I hear it, he made himself and everyone around him miserable - but PTSD wasn't a thing then, and shell-shock was more dramatic than what was going on in his life.

I don't have much of a point, or a solution - except war is bad. Pretty simplistic, but as has been stated elsewhere , war changes people. Sometimes for the better, but often times for the worse.

And when people come back they don't get the help they should have military people like your father
are used up and abandoned.

Actually, I've a couple of friends that says the VA in this area is real good with PTSD. The problem is getting the service men to recognize they need the help.

That may be correct, my experience with the VA has not been good.




LadyPact -> RE: The cop killing y'all didn't want to talk about (8/12/2017 7:23:02 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: BamaD
Ok and you are right that many of the military people undergo levels of stress that most of us cannot imagine.
The average person doesn't comprehend that "dependents" are affected by things such as deployments
almost as much as the active duty people.

Being Army you would have a much better grasp than I would, I did my whole career in the Air Force, but
I spent my last 11 years at the same base.

Just as a matter of trivia, how in the heck did you luck into serving eleven years at the same base? I could be wrong, but I don't think I know anybody that was at the same duty station that long. (I think I remember where you told me that was before.)




Nnanji -> RE: The cop killing y'all didn't want to talk about (8/12/2017 7:26:05 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: BamaD


quote:

ORIGINAL: Nnanji


quote:

ORIGINAL: BamaD


quote:

ORIGINAL: kiwisub22

The family repercussions of a member actually fighting in a (sustained) war show in ways from the subtle to the overt. My mothers father fought in world war two. He didn't ever kill anyone when he returned home, but basically abused his family - not physically as far as I can tell, but none of them speak of him with affection.
I found out he was alive when I was 13, when he died. My mother had let us think he was dead. The way I hear it, he made himself and everyone around him miserable - but PTSD wasn't a thing then, and shell-shock was more dramatic than what was going on in his life.

I don't have much of a point, or a solution - except war is bad. Pretty simplistic, but as has been stated elsewhere , war changes people. Sometimes for the better, but often times for the worse.

And when people come back they don't get the help they should have military people like your father
are used up and abandoned.

Actually, I've a couple of friends that says the VA in this area is real good with PTSD. The problem is getting the service men to recognize they need the help.

That may be correct, my experience with the VA has not been good.

My information is just about the VA hospital near me. I know that "Free Medical Govrnment System" isn't as good in other places.




BamaD -> RE: The cop killing y'all didn't want to talk about (8/12/2017 7:54:19 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: BamaD
Ok and you are right that many of the military people undergo levels of stress that most of us cannot imagine.
The average person doesn't comprehend that "dependents" are affected by things such as deployments
almost as much as the active duty people.

Being Army you would have a much better grasp than I would, I did my whole career in the Air Force, but
I spent my last 11 years at the same base.

Just as a matter of trivia, how in the heck did you luck into serving eleven years at the same base? I could be wrong, but I don't think I know anybody that was at the same duty station that long. (I think I remember where you told me that was before.)


First I was in the AF, we tended to get longer tours than the army.
Second the AF adopted a policy that people in my career field couldn't go from one
CONUS assignment to another.
3 Since I was a programmer overseas assignments required TS clearances.
4 My first wife was so crazy they pulled my clearances ,
Thus when I got here I was stuck here.
Could have been worse, I could have gotten stuck in DC.




BamaD -> RE: The cop killing y'all didn't want to talk about (8/12/2017 7:55:37 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Nnanji


quote:

ORIGINAL: BamaD


quote:

ORIGINAL: Nnanji


quote:

ORIGINAL: BamaD


quote:

ORIGINAL: kiwisub22

The family repercussions of a member actually fighting in a (sustained) war show in ways from the subtle to the overt. My mothers father fought in world war two. He didn't ever kill anyone when he returned home, but basically abused his family - not physically as far as I can tell, but none of them speak of him with affection.
I found out he was alive when I was 13, when he died. My mother had let us think he was dead. The way I hear it, he made himself and everyone around him miserable - but PTSD wasn't a thing then, and shell-shock was more dramatic than what was going on in his life.

I don't have much of a point, or a solution - except war is bad. Pretty simplistic, but as has been stated elsewhere , war changes people. Sometimes for the better, but often times for the worse.

And when people come back they don't get the help they should have military people like your father
are used up and abandoned.

Actually, I've a couple of friends that says the VA in this area is real good with PTSD. The problem is getting the service men to recognize they need the help.

That may be correct, my experience with the VA has not been good.

My information is just about the VA hospital near me. I know that "Free Medical Govrnment System" isn't as good in other places.


You have one of the good ones.
Most places it is free, and you get what you pay for.




DesideriScuri -> RE: The cop killing y'all didn't want to talk about (8/12/2017 8:05:27 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
OK. My bad. I probably should have said more in writing the OP or at least got back on the thread sooner. For that, my apologies.
This might sound strange but I'd also like to ask a favor. I'm really hoping this can be discussed not based on race or gender. The latter part of that might be challenging because yes, I'm looking at this case very specifically because the accused is an active duty service member. That makes it difficult because when we start talking about these cases that are military related, it usually is male perpetrator/female victim. However, it's not really the gender that is the commonality. It's the deployments.
I'm going to add this link because I think this particular author ties this together better than I possibly could. http://www.salon.com/2013/11/12/%E2%80%9Ca_lot_of_them_kill_their_wives%E2%80%9D_journalist_warns_of_post_deployment_crime_waves/


Very interesting article. Thank you for linking it.

I was not in the military. I do have relatives (cousins) that were. Two of my relatives saw no combat, as there simply wasn't any going on at that time. One saw combat: 3 tours. The last tour, his ankle was damaged by a roadside bomb. Airborne. Sniper. Got out because he was missing too much of his daughters' lives.

That's when things went bad. While he was active duty, he was stationed in Italy, and his family was there with him. Once Gulf War II started, his wife and 2 girls came back stateside. Their lives weren't bad back then. Active combat changed him. When he finally got out, he had a very tough time adjusting to civilian life. I don't know if there was domestic violence, but he was a very angry man. Lost a couple jobs over his attitude. Divorced. He got a girlfriend who was with him while he mentally got back to being who he really was (my Aunt saw he wasn't her son when he got back, but he is back to being the son she raised). I don't know how much she had to do with it, or how much going to church had to do with it (he was very anti-God when he got back), but he's a changed man and is doing very well for himself as a civilian.

He also got out shortly after ending a tour, so that may have a lot to do with it, too.




thompsonx -> RE: The cop killing y'all didn't want to talk about (8/12/2017 8:15:27 PM)

ORIGINAL: BamaD


it is about how dangerous police work is.

You are a liar. Police work is not listed anywhere in the ten most dangerous jobs. Assaults on police officers are at an all time low. Stop being such a cop sucker.




thompsonx -> RE: The cop killing y'all didn't want to talk about (8/12/2017 8:38:20 PM)


ORIGINAL: LadyPact

I have a friend who spent 12 months and 28 days on the 'z' .From the time he left da nang until he was wearing civilian clothes was less then 24 hours. He got a battery of shots and a dental exam and a dd 214.
What he did not get was two minutes of de-briefing...today he sleeps under a bridge and goes no where unarmed.




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