Changing perceptions of other posters (Full Version)

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mistoferin -> Changing perceptions of other posters (7/28/2006 7:19:56 AM)

Has anyone else on here had their perception of another poster change over the course of time? I find that sometimes when someone comes on the boards, especially when they come in very strong, that my immediate reaction is distaste....but as time goes on and I continue to read their thoughts I find that my respect for them sometimes grows. It's not always the case...sometimes an ass is just an ass and that doesn't change over time.

To give examples (and I hope that they don't mind), MrD, Amayos, KoM and LuckyAlbatross have all been people that I have come to have a great respect for that I didn't have initially. They are all very strong in the manner that they state their views...and maybe that is what put me off initially. I still don't always agree with every single thing they say but I always respect their honesty and straightforwardness. I have learned alot from each of them and I am very glad that I didn't allow my initial gut reaction to them to close my mind to the point of not being able to absorb the wisdom of their words. If I had simply written them off in the beginning I would have seriously shortchanged myself of the opportunities for growth that each of them have provided me. To them...I would like to say thanks.

So, as a poster here...do your perceptions of people change over time? Do you make an initial judgement and close your mind to anything that might come from that person in the future...or do you keep an open mind and sometimes get pleasantly surprised by the morphing of opinion that takes place?



SexyRed -> RE: Changing perceptions of other posters (7/28/2006 7:24:24 AM)

Yes, I do and I would hope for the same consideration. Sometimes you have a bad day, or rant or something you say rubs someone the wrong way. That does not mean that same person will not have some insight to give on another day.

But I would hope that a person's real self eventually shines through. Some though, will always have a particular online persona, such as the curmudgeon, the sarcastic one or the happy positive one and you will not be able to see more than just the surface.



sub4hire -> RE: Changing perceptions of other posters (7/28/2006 7:34:37 AM)

For me it doesn't.  I can read very well even if I cannot type well all of the time.
I can pretty much peg a person from the beginning...what sort of person they are.
In the end things generally work out the way I thought they would.

Of course I hold everyone to the same standards I hold myself to, which is trust and integrity.  So, I quickly dismiss those who don't have any in my mind.

Which is a lot of my frustration with these boards on a day to day basis.

I do like to watch people evolve though....I've seen a lot of that happening over time.



mistoferin -> RE: Changing perceptions of other posters (7/28/2006 8:01:55 AM)

I should have also said that sometimes the opposite is also true.



Arpig -> RE: Changing perceptions of other posters (7/28/2006 8:21:43 AM)

Yes.
It happens all the time, and it happens in both directions as well. My perceptions of the people on here changes all the time as I react to what they write.




WyrdRich -> RE: Changing perceptions of other posters (7/28/2006 8:30:19 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

...sometimes an ass is just an ass and that doesn't change over time.



      Even a broken clock is right twice a day.  There are a few posters who just rub me the wrong way from go, but I'll keep reading, looking for that grain of commonality to hang onto. 

     I've had my perception change for the worse a few times.  The first few times I read from someone unfamiliar, they may seem pretty informed and interesting but as time goes by, I see that they are just saying the same things over and over.  I find myself (correctly) predicting what their reply to a thread will be before I get near the post.



meatcleaver -> RE: Changing perceptions of other posters (7/28/2006 12:39:54 PM)

There are several people who I can't pin down but find them interesting because of it. They tend to be people whose views I disagree greatly with but I find them interesting enough (and as far as one can tell on the internet, likeable enough) to think I would enjoy discussing the world with them over a meal and a drink. The last thing I need is for someone to confirm with my view of the world, I like the cut and thrust and the ding-dong of debate and I like people who can take it as well as give it. There are a few on CM that are like that which is one of the reasons I post and its great to be surprised when you think you have covered all sides and then someone kicks your feet away with a nifty comeback.



marieToo -> RE: Changing perceptions of other posters (7/28/2006 1:07:35 PM)

Yes.  My perception of certain people has changed over time, sometimes for the better, sometimes not.  I have also found that even those I seldom agree with, sometimes bring to the table an angle from which to view something  that I had not considered.   Every single person's input has value on some level, even the ones who piss me off.   

And theres one or two with whom Id love to toss stuff around because they pique my interest that much.  I just don't feel secure enough to ever say it directly, so I read their stuff from afar.



BitaTruble -> RE: Changing perceptions of other posters (7/28/2006 1:28:24 PM)


quote:

Has anyone else on here had their perception of another poster change over the course of time?


One that I can recall off the top of my head that I view with a more positive attitude and three that I view with a more negative attitude. (My attitude towards their posting ... not their attitude in general.) Of the three whom I now view with a jaundiced eye, I ended up blocking one of them. The other two, I usually just skip over their posts unless it's a subject which is really near and dear to my heart and I want to read the entire thread. I do look for consistency and personal enjoyment or educational value, so tend to read those posters who feed in to one of those concepts. Some posters I just want to stalk because I always find them interesting.. or, they are so damn cute that I just want to be able to call them up at any time and drool over their pics.

Actually, I'd have to find them interesting ... the drooling is just a perk. ::chuckles::

Celeste



MistressSassy66 -> RE: Changing perceptions of other posters (7/28/2006 1:35:38 PM)

I havent had too as I take them as they are.

I do however think that some may have changed their opinion of Me.
Mostly for the good...I think...LOL

And if not oh welllll.....life does indeed go on.



pahunkboy -> RE: Changing perceptions of other posters (7/28/2006 1:53:11 PM)

on another board I was set to go off bigtime on a crabby lady.

i decided to have patience [not like me] and try to understand what the deal was. as it turned out- she was experiencing highway patrol loudspeaker outside her window blaring  "chains rquired ahead" "danger" [for motorists] once i learned this. i and a few others offerred suggestions to her. she called the person in charge who moved the loud speaker 1 block over. and her day was then normal. i am so glad i did not tell her off....im glad i was able to be a help, and not a nag.
no way would i expect a loud speaker out my window as she did. i would have went bankers!!! the 1st hour. ild be on teh phone w highway patrol, the mayor whoever.

at he same time...i tend to not be clear in some of my posts. i am greatful to folks that did not simply go off on me for sport.
[if i ask for it by all means- go for it...]

over time i tend to steer away from people who pull me down. thats life i guess

so- yes- perceptions can change




mistoferin -> RE: Changing perceptions of other posters (7/30/2006 8:16:18 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: WyrdRich[
     Even a broken clock is right twice a day. 


Why yes it is!



mistoferin -> RE: Changing perceptions of other posters (7/30/2006 8:21:25 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble
or, they are so damn cute that I just want to be able to call them up at any time and drool over their pics.


Good to know I am not the only drooler here...lol.[;)]



agirl -> RE: Changing perceptions of other posters (7/30/2006 8:35:42 AM)

My perception, being ONLY based in a debate forum, is entirely tied to that. I can't really rely on it. It's easier to find someone palatable if they have a similar outlook though. It takes me a very long time to even begin to get a *feel* about a person, especially this way.

I haven't found that I've changed any perceptions as yet, as I haven't been around long enough. Maybe over time that will happen, maybe not.

agirl




truesub4u -> RE: Changing perceptions of other posters (7/30/2006 9:39:44 AM)

Yep there are a few on here I've changed my mind about.. in both directions. And 1 I've simply decided not to waste time on. But the same thing has and does happen off line as well. 



Termyn8or -> RE: Changing perceptions of other posters (7/30/2006 10:23:07 AM)

I believe I am the one BitaTruble blocked for my strongly politically incorrect postings. But for everyone else :

For example LaM has railed me for a few things. At first my attitude was screw him. Later, with more of his postings I realized he really does have an open mind. He just disagrees with me.

He actually got more specific and regained my respect, and I don't think he is simply a parrot for the PC crowd. He made valid points, some of which with I agree and some with which I do not. Instead of blocking me he stated his case without insults, and we seem to have really defined the points on which we disagree.

Many of us on this board disagree, and have agreed to disagree. I think that is great and instills respect in me for members. I have also learned to tone it down, I am not in my livingroom here and while I refuse to be politically correct, I give thought to the fact that I may offend somebody. Of course I am not promising never to do it.

There are also some threads that invite discourse, and I am not going to recuse myself from all of them.

There is a certain type of people who participate in these fora, and there is the type who sit in front of a video game or TV in their spare time. The internet is a two way street. I have as much right to be here as anyone else, and the only people who should be barred or blocked are those who add nothing, but simply disrupt everything.

Gradually I am learning to stay more on topic, I don't want to derail threads. Look to the left and see how long I have been a member, not all that long. I am starting to see that this is not like sitting in a bar talking, it is more like a roomfull of people where everybody gets a chance to get up to the podium and speak. Of course the latter is bit more tricky of a situation, and when coupled with the true reason we even participate here, which is to express our views in public, it comes clear. Be nice.

I'll try.

T



wild1cfl -> RE: Changing perceptions of other posters (7/30/2006 10:33:52 AM)

Definitely my perception has changed over time with many of the people who post in the forums on a regular basis. I thought for a long time that the forums were a waste of time and energy adn that the only people who were posting in them were losers, wankers and wannabes or people wh donithing but sit in front of their computers and read forums all day long. I first started to post in the forums when Collarme started putting the little space with the latest forum post on the front page. I started to read some of the questions and answers and I started to see what the forums are all about. There are some silly ones that I love such as the Food game (thank you Mysty Menthol) expecially since I am such a foodie and food fetishist. Then there are others that are thought provoking and make us look at our lives differently, such as this thread. Not only have I changed my perception of the posters, but I have also changed my perception of the forums as well. 



cuddleheart50 -> RE: Changing perceptions of other posters (7/30/2006 10:36:39 AM)

My perceptions change too...I won't say who they are, but there were a couple of people when I first came here who I thought were rude, and sarcastic...but I was wrong....they are very nice people. 



popeye1250 -> RE: Changing perceptions of other posters (7/30/2006 4:34:32 PM)

Yes, in a negative way a few who shall remain nameless because I don't think it would be fair to start criticising them for their opinions or style. That's just the way they are.
And, some people just like to argue back and forth I guess.
Most people in here I enjoy reading their posts and threads because I'm learning new things even after being in this lifestyle for 18 years.
There is one poster in here, *SusanofO* who I really enjoy!
She has the best, most intelligent, inspiring threads in my opinion and the more I read of her the more I like her.
We have a LOT in common as far as mutual activities in the lifestyle go and some other things as well.
I find her threads very thought provoking and also very interesting. You can tell by her writings that she is extremely intelligent and that she puts a lot of thought into her threads. I find that in itself very attractive and interesting.
I also feel the same way about Julia and Crappy and  Geoff and a few others who's names escape me right now, so I don't mean to leave anyone out!
Of course our perceptions will change as we get to know each other better and for the better too I hope.



SusanofO -> RE: Changing perceptions of other posters (7/30/2006 4:55:54 PM)

I appreciate that popeye, I really do!

As for me, I like a lot of the posters around here (you too popeye, for sure).
I actually appreciate the sarcastic ones a lot, as long as they are also smart.
Some just crack me up and are smart, too (and some of those are women, as well as men, as if I'd need to say that).

As for people who "grew" on me that I had doubts about at first, Crappy Dom is one of those. He had a post one Saturday, I remember, that was so insightful it just blew me away, but at first when I read his posts,I thought he was too negative. My opinion has completely changed about him.

- Susan  

- Susan  



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